The New Look Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Something Out Of A Cheesy Horror Film

As my first post on TMB, I couldn’t wait to share my thoughts on these alleged new “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”.  Ever since Mike Bay announced that he will be making a TMNT movie, the online world has been at an uproar. Judging by the recent release of the trailer and the movie stills coming out, add me to that list.  First reaction to seeing the trailer..was a giant “What the hell??” I emphasize the multiple question marks. Granted, Bay has a terrific track record of showcasing Hollywood’s hottest younger women (Megan Fox) in his movies. He most definitely didn’t hit the mark on the main centerpieces of his latest blockbuster.




The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are America’s darlings. If you were a kid growing up in my era, that was your favorite show. You would dream you could be a Ninja Turtle. I drove my parents crazy, emptying out their wallets by wanting all the TMNT toys. The Ninja Turtles are part of American pop culture. They symbolized the 90’s as much as anything else we viewed mainstream.


When the images were released of the new movie, it was NOT what I ever could have pictured. While expecting a modern character modification from the earlier TMNT movies, what I witnessed was much closer to a horror movie monster. What in the world are these things? Just look above at the Michelangelo movie still. These turtles are more jacked up than Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson could have dreamed of being in Pain and Gain. Certainly Bay has an affinity meat-heads, as much as sultry female eye candy in his films. What’s with the dog-collars/male necklaces from 2002? Ripped up bandanas? Makes the turtles look like Zorro mugged them in a shady NYC alley.




Donatello looks even creepier. Way to add a nice touch with a pair of taped-up glasses! So apparently, the new movie version of Donatello needs lasik surgery. Their mouths and noses make them resemble some green alien. Mind you, that was Bay’s original concept for the story origins of the turtles..brilliant..NOT.


I’m really not trying to be disgruntled fan-boy crying about his childhood cartoon gone wrong.  I fully realize this is a movie, not a cartoon. Times have definitely changed since the last TMNT movie was released. I’m cool with the alleged ripped long shorts these version of the turtles wear. Underwear just don’t work on our superheroes these days, ask Henry Cavill’s Superman about that. To completely remake these turtles takes away from what the characters are. They aren’t monsters, nor aliens, just ninja turtles. If I was a kid going to the movies trying to get familiar with the turtles for the first time, I’d be terrified of what will jump out at me on the screen. They look creepy, ugly, and messy (in a bad way). For the sake of my generation, let’s hope for once Bay’s eye candy will serve it’s true purpose. Rather focus on Megan Fox, so that I don’t have to be exposed to the green alien monsters instead.


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