Transformers 2 Review

Thanks for checking out our Transformers 2 review. If you’d like to see a video version of our Transformers 2 review you can see it at the bottom of the post.

It’s no secret that I LOVE Transformers. I grew up playing with the toys as a kid. Aside from the Star Wars prequels I’ve never looked forward to a movie as much as I did for the first Transformers a couple of years ago… and I LOVED the first movie (weaknesses and all). So it’s no surprise that Transfomers 2 (aka Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen) has been my #1 most anticipated movie of the year.

The other night I had a chance to go and see it in IMAX here in Los Angeles and I can tell you this right up front. This movie is bigger than the last one, has more action than the last one, has better effects than the last one but over all is not as good as the last one. As one friend of mine wrote to me “It’s more spectacular than the first one… but not as good”.


The synopsis for Transformers 2 looks something like this: “When the story begins, the Autobots and the military have been waging a secret war against the Decepticons. As more of the giant robots continue to resurface, though, it becomes apparent the Transformers have been part of Earth’s history for longer than they’d led mankind to believe. One group of bureaucrats even wonders if the Decepticons are only appearing because of the Autobot presence. Desperate not to leave Earth undefended, Optimus Prime turns to Sam and asks him to become a human advocate, someone who will convince mankind that the Autobots should be allowed to stay. Sam refuses to believe he can help though, wanting to go to college and live a normal life – as normal as possible with the strange thoughts and visions that have haunted him since being exposed to the All Spark’s primal energies two years earlier. Alas, Sam’s refusal will have harsh consequences for himself, the Autobots and possibly the entire world. The Decepticons fallen leader, Megatron has been resurrected and brings with him an ancient evil from the Transformers own history.”


My dear heavens I never would have thought that the effects in Transformers could be outdone… but Transformers 2 did it. The Autobots and Decepticons look far more real and awe inspiring than they did in the first one. They become especially impressive when you see them interacting with real world actors and sets. It’s so hard to believe that these gigantic warriors aren’t real. Exactly what Transformers fans wanted.

The action. Holy sweet nuts cakes the action! This movie just goes and goes and goes. The movie OPENS with a HUGE scale action sequence that just makes your jaw hit the floor in amazement. “This is what they’re STARTING the movie with?!?!” went through my head a couple of times in the first 60 seconds. So many more action sequences and battles than the first one. Exactly what Transformers fans wanted.

There is A LOT more screen time for the Autobots and Decepticons than in the first film (something that a bigger budget allowed for I guess). We even get to see a much longer Megatron/Starscream squabble which is something painfully missing from the first movie. Exactly what Transformers fans wanted.

There is a much deeper history revealed about the Transformers in this flick that I thought added some much needed richness to the whole mythology of the Cybertonian race. We learn more about “The Primes” (a certain leadership sect within the Transformers of which Optimus is obviously a direct descendant of). We learn more about Energon (no, we don’t get to see “Energon Cubes” unfortunately) and the history of the Transformers on earth as well as the grander plans (evil ones… dun dun duuuunnnhhhh) the decepticons have for Earth. Exactly what Transformers fans wanted.

Yes, it seems Transformers 2 takes all the good things about the first movie and builds on them. Exactly what Transformers fans wanted. BUT… they unfortunately also built on all the first movie’s weaknesses and put them on steroids, which leads us too…


I absolutely must start with this one. THE TWINS! Oh dear heavens the Twins. These two new Autobots are the new Jar Jar Binks. They absolutely ruin this movie. They are the most offensive and racist stereotypes I’ve seen on the screen in a LONG time on top of being unfunny and as annoying as hell. I personally don’t mind stereotypes in general because they’re often just an expression of reality… but when you use stereotypes to express nothing but negative connotations of entire people groups I get really uncomfortable. Basically, the “Twins” are two dumb autobots who don’t even know how to read (no really… they don’t know how to read) that talk jive and look, and act like two “hood niggas”. For fuck’s sake they even have buck teeth on one of them has a gold tooth. I wish I was making this up. Who thought this was a good idea?!?!?! To make matters even worse, these two Jar Jar’s have more screen time than Megatron and Optimus Prime! No, I’m not kidding (maybe if I clock it I might find out I’m incorrect on that… but it certainly felt like that). It was horrible. I HATED them with a deep and abiding hatred. They are the stupidest thing I’ve seen on screen in a long time and I’m simply astonished that ANYONE thought they were a good idea to go forward with.

It’s hard to believe, but the dialog in this one is worse than in the first one. Let’s face it, dialog in Transformers is entirely unimportant. We all know why we see the Transformers, and the spoken word isn’t really one of the reasons. Still… the pure amount of cheese in the lines was painful to both listen to and think about.

Even though a lot of people had issues with John Turturro’s character from the first movie (the Sector 7 super agent), I actually liked him. However, in this film they made him a ridiculous parody with some of the most inept nonsense you can think of. No way this guy was a respected agent in the government at one time. The Transformers are supposed to be the animated characters… not Turturro who ends up being just one step removed from Yosemite Sam. Horrible horrible horrible.

A lot of Transformers fans got excited when we heard that fan favorite Soundwave was going to be in this movie. Well… I don’t know who that was… but it was NOT Soundwave. In Transformers 2, Soundwave is basically a giant fat metal blob satellite hovering in space that looked more like Jabba the Hut than a Transformer. That’s all he does in the movie… floats in space. Thanks.

Holy Shit “Wheelie” is almost as annoying as the Twins. You’ve probably seen the clip online of him getting chased around by Megan Fox. He changes sides from Decepticons to Autobots for… well… for no apparent reason whatsoever. He just decides to become an Autobot and I’m still not sure why.

Speaking of Megan Fox. Have I ever mentioned this girl CAN NOT ACT!?!?! Look, I’ve met this girl. She is absolutely one of the hottest women on the planet and seems like a very nice girl. But acting in any sort of role that requires her doing anything other than showing of her midrif or possibly performing fellatio is just way beyond her ability. She’s a joy to see on screen. She’s a nightmare to HEAR on screen and her “performance” in Transformers 2 does nothing but solidify my opinion of her.

I don’t want to give any spoilers away here… but since when does Megatron kneel to ANYONE? In the movie Starscream tries to explain to Megatron why he took over command of the Decepticons after the “death” of Megatron and Meg says the BEST line in the movie in response to him: “Even in death there is no command but my own”. How awesome is that?!?!?!?! Then it gets ruined when he then turns to “The Fallen” and calls him “Master”. How does that make any sense?


Transformers 2 takes all the good things about the first movie and makes them bigger and better… but it also does the same for all the bad things about the first movie… x1000000. Great action. Fantastic effects. More Transformers in both numbers and time on screen…. but HORRIBLE dialog, The Twins and a terrible misuse of a lot of the characters puts my enjoyment level of this movie far below my enjoyment of the first one. I have to see the movie again tonight to even be sure if I “liked” it or not. It is everything a big summer blockbuster should be… and everything it shouldn’t be. Just because of the action and effects I still recommend you go see it for sure… but I’m only going to give Transformers: Revenge of the fallen a 5/10.

You can see our video version of the Transformers 2 review here:

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236 thoughts on “Transformers 2 Review

  1. I cherished up to you will receive performed proper here. The caricature is attractive, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an edginess over that you would like be turning in the following. ill unquestionably come more earlier again since exactly the similar just about very often within case you protect this hike.

  2. I loved the action scenes, but I do have to admit that I wasn’t a fan of the twins either. I think they said “pussy” about 4 times in the smae scene, and they just made an obsene mess of that section of the movie. it also bugged me when the one with a torched eye started humping Megan’s leg. “Why??” is a good question. “atleast he’s loyal!” that was petty and not to mention, the thing just switched side 5 seconds ago; that’s a strange bit of loyalty.

    Speaking of the “loyalty issues,” didn’t she notice that he was getting attacked by the robo-chick? She’s about to die by way of evil robot and all she can think of is to gripe about how he was being “unfaithful” with a killer sorority girl? bah

    I did think that the little torched-eye dude was funny though “warrior goddess!” and of course, the hot air force guy and all the action made the movie pretty awesome. ;)

  3. This was literally the worst acted movie I have ever seen. And you didn’t even mention Shia’s mum. Jesus, she was the worst character I’ve ever seen. And the plot.. was the worst I’ve ever seen.

    *****Spoiler ALERT****

    Can someone tell me why they didn’t use the rail gun to start with, or just destroy the doomsday machine with it?

  4. I liked the movie. The Special Effects were outstanding! I mean, the film deserves an Oscar in the technical department definitely…

    The jungle scene was the best 5 minutes in the film by far. But, afterwards the movie went downwards. The first 30 minutes of the 2nd half was boring where everyone was doing some indiana jones copy. Anyways, the movie could have made an even better impression if the final 20 minutes had some good quality autobots vs decepticon action without showing shia and megan running all the time! :( The final fight with the Fallen was such a waste too.

    Did Bay run out of money to finish the movie? The final part seemed really rushed in my opinion

  5. just saw this. it rocked! i’m glad my expectations were lowered. it delivered on everything I had hoped for and then some. I wanted to see big huge robots blowing stuff up, action scenes, and optimus prime being a hero. big time checks.

    the twins were fine with me. it’s funny – the people that are most offended by the twins seem to be white suburban folks! they reminded me of characters out of Friday, which is a hilarious movie and very popular with the black community. and the dog-humping and jock-strap showing… unfortunately, yes – this IS the humor of middle America. Bay is making films for the least common denominator, and looking at the profit, you can understand why. it iss too bad though – I wouldn’t take anyone younger than maybe 16 to see it.

    I can see though that if I didn’t read this review or others, my mindset would have been totally different going in, actually expecting a serious movie. thanks for the always informative reviews!

  6. This movie is the worst movie of the year, I loved the first one thought it was great, but this one?? OMG terrible. I should of remembered the micheal bay formula
    he does 2 good and 3 crappy 2 good 3 crappy.
    in case you are wondering about that
    bad boys and the rock good
    armageddon, pearl harbor and bad boys 2 terrible
    island and transformers good
    transformers 2 terrible

  7. I dont agree with John`s review either!

    I went into the movie with lowered expectations after reading this, and other reviews, and ended up loving it.

    The twins were kinda funny, and I wasnt offended by them.

    The fight scenes were much better, and I even got goosepumps a few times.

    Shia was great, as in the 1st one, and Megan Fox is not that bad, come on! Didnt bother me at all, and she is just crazy hot. I mean, ridiculous, should not be true, hot.

    Same with Ms Lucas. Unbelievably hot. Were does Bay get them from?

    Anyway…I liked it.

  8. Nice review.
    I aggree at most points.
    But I feel you forgot to mention that the
    second half of the movie got a little out of balance concerning the action. It was kinda turning into a war-movie and slowing down the pace. It just felt rather monotonious to me and I feel like there are several minutes that could have been cut away without making anyone sad.
    It just felt kinda stressed in order to give the army some more importand role… boring. I also doubt that anyone got touched by the “L”-Word Story…

  9. Good review, I rate the movie higher than yourself and I was able to ignore the twins enough that they didn’t annoy me.

    It’s good to read reviews that get the movie in context, I’m sick of reading reviews which complain about elements you might expect in a period drama, but not a summer blockbuster. Review the movie in context folks, please!

  10. During this movie i was just waiting for Jazz to come back from the dead and beat the shit out of the twins after making a bunch of black guy jokes

  11. I have seen this movie 5 times and can never get tired of it. Why so much you ask? I work at a movie theater so I get to see it for free. One of the great benefits serving popcorn at my local movie theater. Who cares if the acting sucks. I thought Shia did a really good job in this movie and Megan’s acting wasn’t too horrible. Yes, some of the lines in the movie are kind of cheesy but I found them to be quite funny at times. I find it really irritating that people are giving this movie bad reviews only on the fact that the kid from Even Stevens is the protagonist. The plot was a little weak but it did had a plot. The viewers do have the right to judge this movie based on the acting, but what you guys need to fathom is that Transformers is meant for the box office, not the Academy Awards. But I will not be surprised if it does gets nominated.

  12. I just saw the movie today, and have to tell you that it’s the first movie I’ve walked out on since the last Indiana Jones. I can definitely see the point that this movie tended to be a bit racist and sexist. I’m not sure if the “black” robots thingy was necessarily racist, as much as it was just plain stupid. Truth is, you don’t have to be an “African American” or “female” to be insulted by this movie’s ridiculous antics. Fans of this movie are claiming that it was desperately trying to appeal to a younger audience, but is our youth really that stupid and unsophisticated? As we were exiting the theater about two-thirds into the movie, right at about the point where the little transformer starts humping Megan Fox’s leg, my 12 year-old daughter asked me “Why were all the women in this movie either trying to seduce a man, or making sex jokes?” Well, how should I respond to that question Mr. Bay???

  13. Hola! I got so much to say i needed to list:
    1) FX and fight scenes – 1 word: AWESOME!!!
    2) megan fox is HOT HOT HOT! (i never had time to take note of her acting)
    3) jar jar binks was a lot worse – but the TWINS basically had the same annoying presence (i was only able to decipher roughly 5% of what they were sayin)
    4) they should have taken out the dog-dog f*@%!n and robot-megan fox’s leg f*@%!n scenes. i watched the movie with a li’l girl beside me – does the movie creators don’t know that kids will be watchin’ this film!
    5) megatron bows to no one (at least you have to beat him first to half-dead). it would have been more acceptable if, after their plans were almost into fruition, he had shot the back of “The Fallen” and cried – I BOW TO NO ONE!!!
    6) Optimus against 3 decepticons all by himself – awesome!
    7) I cannot disagree with John’s rating of 5/10. He has his reasons. But i’m sure he will not disagree that for Transformers fanatics like us, this movie is A MUST SEE! (or you miss half of your life or somethin)
    P.S. I take back the “1 word” thing and make it 2 words. 2nd word is – JAW-DROPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. Just saw this. Was I the only one dissapointed by the last action scene? I thought it was HORRIBLE, well so was the rest of the movie. But the opening and forest scene was GREAT. The rest was SHIT!


  15. Just saw “T2: ROTF”.

    Must say, your review is misleading.

    The twins have very little screen time, and they are funny as hell. By any means, they are a nice addition, and Jazz was more of a racial profile than those two. Sorry, you are wrong.

    The movie itself is fantastic. I can’t see any bad parts in there.

    John Turturro is dead funny here, i see no problems with his character whatsoever.

    Humor, action, some drama. All i could hope.

    I dunno why you are misleading people like that.

    All audience was laughing tonight, everyone LOVED the twins, children included, people applauded at the end of the movie.

    You critics only like bashing things.

    I’m with Bay on this one.

    Also, people pay for movies, not critics.

  16. I just saw the movie and I am suprised by all the bad reviews. I thought it was great, better than the first movie. It had so many elements from the cartoon(jetfire/prime combo, leadership matrix, energon) and the robots were on screen for more than half the movie. The only thing I didn’t like is all the toilet humor (humping wheelie, sector 7 agents butt)

    I recently watched the 1986 Transformers movie, and Revenge of the Fallen has many of the same elements (Optimus dying, morals about loyality and leadership).

    John, I am most suprised about your review. I thought this movie was far less annoying than the annoying things in the first one (the fat black hacker, Jon Voight). Even the sector 7 agent was less annoying because he was actually very helpful to Sam.

    Also, there were less of those unexplainable scene changes. Revenge of the Fallen flowed from one scene to the next much better than the first movie.

  17. wow john i couldn’t believe my eye when you gave this transformer a 5 out of 10 and the last transformer… i think it was a 9 or an 8 you gave it i dont remember…, but like you said film is subjective and i totally respect you opinion. my thoughts on the twins they were funny really funny when i went to go see them opening night. i really thought the action was fantastic, but as in story i thought the writers could of done a lot better. i really wanted another giant robot to fight Devastator, but hey we cant win them all. i personally would give the transformer 2 movie 7 out of 10 i like every moment it gave but some of the dialog was not at its best, and sam’s freak out moment in the class room really pulled me out the movie i didnt like one bit. if a third movie is on the way here’s a question for you john who do you think should direct the third movie. my personal pick after seeing the dark night and what christopher nolan can do i would pick him to be the director.

  18. Hey Monty, i know im late in saying this, but Megatron frequently had to turn tail and run and rely on his fellow decepticons to get him out of a bad situation back in the show. When Optimus messed him up on Autobot city he said “Soundwave, dont leave me” and cried for help. I dont think that particular part of the film was a mistake, i think it was a faithful portrayal of the character.
    I also by the way dont think the twins were that bad, i mean they really didnt have THAT much dialog, not enough to bring me out of the movie. Anyway thats jmo.

    1. Sure I can buy Megatron being portrayed this way, but I don’t need to see him being completely wussified several times throughout the movie, he’s rendered a complete joke. He’s more like the old cartoon Starscream then Starscream.

      The twins had as much if not more dialog as any other Transformer, it’s just that the Transformers weren’t given much dialog period. For the most part the Transformers were just background characters for the human joke characters to perform in front of.

  19. Just saw it with the kids. The reviews had lowered my expectations to the point where I actually ended up pretty entertained. The robots were spectacular,but some of the other film-making seemed cheap n’ sloppy. The most glaring example is when they leave the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum and seem to be in an airfield in…California or Arizona (Didn’t know Washington DC was surrounded by bare purple mountains!) This is made worse when the characters are suddenly transported (how?)to another desert half way around the world. Way too weird and jarring, and seems like it could have been corrected in post-production, instead of with some unintelligible dialogue.

    1. ” This is made worse when the characters are suddenly transported (how?)”

      Jetfire opens up a space bridge, thats how they end up in Egypt.

    2. Yes, I thought I heard Jetfire say something about a space-bridge, but still it is pretty common when faster-than-light- travel is involved, the film-makers will somehow express the experience (think Millenium Falcon “making the jump”)If they really wanted flout this convention to give a sudden “we’re not in Kansas anymore”effect than it would have helped a lot if they were traveling between two contrasting locales, say between urban Washington D.C. and the Egyptian desert. Instead they traveled between what looked like CA or AZ to a place that
      looked like (in one character’s words)”Vegas. Some space bridge.

  20. Here is my thoughts on the film….

    The Good…

    The story was actually decent in this film.
    The acting was good even Fox was actually belivable.
    The action was awesome.
    Some of the homor was okay(still juvenile though).
    What was good was that Prime was awesome in this film.
    Megatron and Starscream were awesome.
    The parents weren’t as annoying as they were in the first film.

    The Bad….
    Skids and Mudflap were annoying, they had some funny moments, but most of the time they were annoying.
    “The Fallen” just sucks as a villian, “he” is in the film for like 10 minutes and he gets his ass kicked by Prime just as easily.
    Speaking of Prime….he looked rediculous w/ the jetpack.
    The film(IMO) was too long…if it was 30 minutes shorter I would have enjoyed it more.

    Overall I give the film 3 out of 5.

  21. I just saw Transformers 2 yesterday and something was definitely, irritatingly wrong about this sequel. First Angels and Demons, now this. Awesome fight scenes, graphics and effects but Transformers 1 most certainly have provided more than enough funding for a much better story line and script. I find the parents annoying. That little robot humping Fox was funny for me until “what was that for?” a second later. Devastator decommissioned after getting hit one time by a top secret proton gun (was it?) caused me to open my mouth and, well, that was all I did for a good five seconds. I’m not sure why the producers felt like bringing Sector 7 super agent back, which was I think, by the way, a horrible idea. And Sound Wave for a mere satellite hacker?? I never commented on any reviews in the past but there’s just something special about Trans 2 (and perhaps Angels & Demons) that makes me want to vent. It’s my first time visiting this site. Perhaps i’ll visit everytime I move my schedules to fit in watching a highly anticipated movie only to end up getting so damn disappointed. Tsk.

  22. Hey John, love your reviews/video reviews, I’ve gotta say this was your funniest video review yet. Luckily, it won’t dismay me from seeing Transformers 2, in fact I’m looking forward to it but thanks for the heads up on the bad stuff!

  23. overall great movie. more action packed than the first. as far as the whole racist,crude,offesive etc…. it wasnt. im hispanic and could watch movies like the cheech and chong series, shows like george lopez and laugh my ass off. come on…. the song “beaners!” in still smokin its hilarious. so because im mexican and i start laughing histericaly at a wayne bros movie,or tyler perry movie…. does that make me racist???? lol just because bay is white you dub the twins and the movie racist but its ok for tyler perry or the wayans bros to completely portray there black characters as loud,annoying,ghetto, etc. WHO CARES! you might as well lock youreself in a dark room with no outside contact or anything, because we live in a stereotypical society. im a beaner and proud. just because.. say michael bay were to make the twins ghetto mexican like characters im not gonna start crying and screaming racist. so until the kkk or any group like that make a movie. stop crying racist.

  24. Bloody Hell John, I didn’t want to agree with your review but after seeing the movie I can see now why I seem to trust your opinion over any other movie critic. This movie really seemed to bother me and I can’t quite place every little detail that is the problem. The biggest however are the RC twins, I fully and absolutely agree with your opinion on this. Whoever came up with these two should be fired on the spot. My other concern with the picture that wasn’t mentioned was the fact that this movie didn’t seem to know which audience it was wanting to attract. There was a lot of cursing and a lot of killing yet some of the characters (RC Twins) were meant to attract the younger audience….WHY?

    The best things going for it are Sam’s parents, the action and the visual effects. Beyond that it needed a lot of work. Why must they ruin my beloved Transformers after such a good start to the franchise?

    So even tough I didn’t want to believe your review John I say Kudo’s for writing what you feel was a good opinion.

    1. I agree with you. This film seemed to be confused about it’s audience. The movie is obviously intended to sell toys to kids but the actual film is full of crude moments and sexual humor. The plot is too stupid for adults and it seems like teenagers will get the most kick out of it.

    2. I’ll also agree that the movie didn’t know its audience. I felt the same way Slash Beast did about the profanity & sexual humor. The movie also seemed too complex for kids and, at the same time, too juvenile for adults.

  25. your last part of the review about megatron kneeling IS a spoiler. i suggest changing that to “warning spoiler” instead of “i dont want to give away any spoilers here”. it confuses people. thanks for ruining the plot dumbass

  26. Saw the movie last night, and right off the bat, would easily give it a 9/10 in my book.

    I pretty much disagree with John and others on about everything.

    Megan can act. She’s not going to be the next Oscar winning actress anytime soon at all, but she CAN act. It worked for me.

    The twins ARE NOT the next Jar Jar, and in my mind I wouldn’t care since Jar Jar nor the twins bugged me in the least.

    Wheelie cracked me up, good stuff.

    Optimus showed he was a badass. His combination with Jetfire was an awesome nod to other Transformers media as well.

    The Fallen worked for me, even his short screen presence, he doesn’t strike me as a type that will mess around with grunt work, and then can’t stand up to a super charged Prime.

    The “dream” Sam goes into is absolutely believable, he gains the entire knowledge of the All Spark, makes sense he would unlock knowledge of the original Primes as well.

    The fights pulled back to showcase the Transformers more as well.

    Did they need the Deceptinuts? No. Did they make me laugh anyway? Yes. Did they hamper the experience at all? Nope.

    Soundwave was an extremely logical evolution from his cartoon iteration to the movie iteration.

    Pretty much everything worked for me, now I have tickets to see it in IMAX already. Great damn flick and I will be picking up both the Blu Ray and DVD when it comes out.

    Plus watching Transformers: The Movie, then Transformers 1, then this all in three days certainly made the experience even more fun.

    Keep the Transformers movies coming!

  27. Just saw it last night. Have to say I agree with every point on this review. Except maybe one. I came out of that movie, enjoying what I had just seen, but with a deep loathing for those f-ing Twins. I even clapped in the movie when it appeared the red one got destroyed, and everyone else joined in, only to be crushed seconds later with the realization that he did not die. I was rather offended myself and thought whoever came up with those characters had their head firmly planted in their ass. But I have had time to think about it and am less mad and more glad they were there. Now hear me out. I hope that everyone thought that those characters were offensive, crude, and stereotypical, because they were. But maybe people who act like that in real life will see this and realize how stupid it is. I mean they had to be based off of something. Thats why they are stereotypical. Sadly there are people in the world who do act like that. So the Twins are actually a public service in my opinion. “Don’t be a Twin!” Who knows, could be a new T-shirt slogan. Just one persons humble thoughts.

  28. Transformers 2: revenge of the fallen was a brilliant movie. Best movie if seen in ages. I recommend it 2 everyone and give it a 12/10. Optimus primes and jet-fires Armour and weapons. The twins were idiots but hilarious.
    Auto-bots are the best.

    I can’t wait till transformers 3

  29. I saw the IMAX version tonight if that matters, can anyone clarify something for me?

    In the scene when Devastator forms and is running rampant it flashing back to the other battle and the individual constructicons are fighting too???

    How is that possible?

    1. I dont think thats it. My son loves construction vehicles so I bought him the green constructicon dumptruck named Longhaul. I believe his ends up as one of Devestator’s legs when he is formed but during the same battle simultaneously they show him fighting the humans protecting Prime.

      I am not sure if its an editing error but it looked like all the constructicons were both “in” Devastator AND fighting in a nearby battle.

  30. Just my few questions:
    Whats up with the annoying Twins? Pointless add-in
    Wasn’t Prime smaller than ‘Tron in the first flick?
    Jetfire and old timer with a walking stick??
    Didnt Bee’s voice get fixed at the end of movie 1?
    What was The Fallens’ tranformation? Looked like a bug with all the tentacles or whatever they were.
    Did you really have to show a dude in his S7 undies? Tryin to blind me at a young age.
    Bots as ‘hatchlings’?
    It was entertaining to see, but lacking this time.

  31. oh awsome the summary for transformers 3 just came out

    “At the start of the film the twins press a srtange button killing evryone on the universe and the only way to save them is to get a Key on the other side of the universe in this 2 hour adventure. It also appears a new autobot called Heartless who is voiced by kanye West ”

    The film is called TRANSFORMERS 3 In da hood

    1. hmm shia did some good acting (like his scream when he saw the female decepticon)haha
      the brownie thing didn’t bother me, I was high meself when I saw the movie … haha

  32. John, please dont say niggas on your blog again. If you would have said this review to my face, you would have got decked. Its bad enough that a lot of us black people say it all the time, i just dont want to hear white people say or in your case read it. Thanks

  33. If the first Transformers is a 7 on the over the top scale than this one is a 15, liked it for the most part, too long…darker in some ways, but cheesiers and too kid friendly in others, no repeat viewings for me until the DVD release…

    Must say I enjoyed the 3 vs 1 battle in the forest the most, and cringed the most in the areas it ripped off star wars….i.e. Megatron being an apprentice and having a master…the old yoda-ish robot with the cane…Sam being the chosen one(implied), etc….Bay tried to make this his EMPIRE and it is not. still the audience I saw it with dugg it deep, big box office opening 160-180mil range…


  34. Major disappointment. Humor was ‘off’ – “I’m underneath the Decepticon’s testicles”. Action was mindless – “Let’s fire particle weapons at the kid who’s brain holds the secrets we need!” Deus Ex Machina used yet AGAIN for no reason. D@mn those lazy @55 Hollywood writers! I hope the movie does well enough for a 3rd installment sans Bay. Gah! SO DISAPPOINTING!!!!


    well where do I start
    the movie came as quet a suprise , they took everything from TF1…and it worked for me in a way … altho I would have to say : really uninspired writers…

    movie I likes

    1) in a way the organic element in the machines showing even more how complex transformers are.
    2) the sacrifice of a decpticon to rebuild megatron :D
    3) twins as bate
    4) ravage
    5) TERMINATOR BABE (need to get me one of those)
    6) perverted machines haha
    7) Megan Fox

    movie blunders

    1 : after 2 years of spending on earth the autobots just rust away in some hanger , always staying in vehicle mode, no talking , no interaction , no comfort… no : we stay in vehicle mode : DAMN : (in the comics maybe?)

    2 : euhm did every dicepticon from the TF1 get ressurected….


    His name popped nr one on my list =D

    5 : SUDDEN ENDING : prime saves the day in no time : wauw

    6 : THE kinda CLOSED ENDING phu

    7 : A FLYING TANK FOR GOD SAKE : megatron was
    not so convinsing at all

    well … I’ll have to see it again then

  36. I cant believe John didnt address the fact that they made Starscream act like a pussy in this movie.

    He was like a little bitch, i cant believe it, i was waiting the whole movie for him to stab Megatron in the back but it never came

    I really cant get over this, he is such a wuss in this movie…it was disgusting

    But the movie was awesome, i didnt care about the twins, they were whatever, same with Fox, IRRELEVANT. The movie was a-fucking-MAZING

  37. I hated the first Transformers movie, but honestly didn’t think the sequel could be that much worse, but Bay proved me wrong.

    Really, what the hell was that!

    I know people complained Optimus was a bit of a wuss in the first movie, but did they have to make Prime look good by having Megatron look so weak and pathetic?

    Just after laying down the law about leadership to Starscream, he turns around and grovels to his master, THE FALLEN. Megatron reminded me of some overbearing middle management buffoon, drunk from the infinitesimal amount of power they were given.

    Yelling for help when his ass was being handed to him “Decepticons!” “Starscream!”, not too mention him turning tail in the face of human artillery fire while chasing Sam and Mikaela. Megatron would have been better off if he had stayed dead.

    I don’t know what gave me more nausea, the romantic dialog between Sam and Mikaela or the nonstop sweeping camera.

    Simmons, Sam’s Parents were awful comic relief characters in the first movie, so lets give them more screen time in this movie but make them even more hilarious(jock straps, pot brownies), and also throw in a pointless and awful crying and screaming comic relief character in Leo. WHY?!

    The only action scenes I cared about were the ones in China and the Forest, and only when Bay decided to use slow-mo. This movie has no shot at winning a best VFX Oscar this year, just like the first movie, most people won’t have any idea what’s going on up on the screen.

    If the Fallen has been on Earth for the last couple thousand years, why wait until now to destroy the humans, why wait for them to advance enough to produce weapons to fight back? Why wait for the only being who could destroy him(Optimus Prime)to show up? This is just like Nero from Star Trek, oh wait, who were the people who wrote the last Star Trek movie again?

    Why after two years is Bumblebee still having voice problems? Because the writers were too lazy to give him actual dialog.

    Soundwave sounded like Dr Claw from Inspector Gadget, and looked like any other generic gunmetal gray/Chrome/Black Decepticon.

    As for the Wayansbots, Skids and Mudflap, whoever allowed those abominations to reach the screen, Bay, the writers, character designers, the Paramount executives, should all be fired, right after they are all lined up side by side, so I may throat punch each and every one of them.

    1. “I don’t know what gave me more nausea…or the nonstop sweeping camera.”

      Agreed. Especially annoying that they did if for practically every transformation.

  38. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I read the book, and I’m pretty sure the thing that Skids and Mudflap can’t read is ancient cybertronian stuff. They can read; but they can’t read the ancient stuff. Just saying.

  39. I saw this movie on Monday (one of those very rare moments where an American film comes out in Japan first!). Your review is pretty spot on, but I would also add in “the bad”: the transformer that transformed into a “hot college girl”. First, of all, since when could they transform into people? Second, it was ridiculous.

    First movie was better, IMO.

  40. its kinda of funny to see you getting so mad about the twins…i’re not even black, john! LOL jk

    i didn’t like the 1st one…i liked this one a little bit more than the 1st one. was sooooooo long!! :(

  41. Hey John, I have a question. When you made your review for the first Transformers, you gave the film a 9/10. After that, you saw it a few more times and say that the more you watched it, the more you saw the flaws in it. My question is this: Would you change your original rating for the first film or still stick by the 9 you gave the original film?

  42. “On a side note, anyone else besides me think that the annoucement that the Oscar nominees will be expanded to 10 is a great idea?”


    Another sign of a short-attention spanned, getting-lost-in-stats, consuming-to-excess society.

    ‘Less is more. More is American.’

  43. I personally thought the movie was beyond amazing and twice as good as the first one, but I also didn’t have any problems with the first one(dialogue, acting etc.). Also, it takes alot to offend me as well but the twins didn’t even register as a blip on my radar, I just sat back and enjoyed them as the funniest parts of the movie, except for the taser scenes. On a side note, anyone else besides me think that the annoucement that the Oscar nominees will be expanded to 10 is a great idea?

  44. I saw it this afternoon.

    I have NO history with anything to do with ‘Transformers’ (though I saw the first film.), and honestly, have a hard time reading comments from –presumably– grown men waxing elegiac about films…about…TOYS.

    And I’ll show some restraint and let *that* part of my commentary go.

    What did I think of the film? Well… On Sunday I wrote a 5,000 word analysis on ‘Why ‘The Proposal’ is a Bad Film’. And I could easily apply some of the salient points of that exercise to ‘Trans2’. It’s a genre film, so there are specific requirements that need to be addressed to honour the genre. This also means that certain aspects are weighted differently than others. Different expectations, different weaknesses, etc.

    In the end, I don’t grade the film as harshly as John did. Mostly because I didn’t care…and the very notion there was a FOLLOWUP FILM ABOUT TOYS made me expect very little, anyway.

    What this film does more than anything else is confirm –once again– how Story trumps everything. Especially effects, action, T&A, all of that. I stand by what I’ve declared in the past: ‘We can now show on the screen just about everything imaginable this side of Heaven. That’s NOT what’s going to move an audience. And really, if you don’t aspire to moving your audience…why do it at all?’

    Rating: 6.5/10

    P.S. Women have their ‘chick-flicks’, ‘Transformers 2’ is the archetypal ‘boy-flick’. And never the twain shall meet.

    1. So what if it’s based on toys? That doesn’t excuse it from not having any worthwhile plot.

      For example, Pirates of the Caribbean was based on a THEME PARK RIDE, and it had a compelling plot.

      Plus, the movie is based on the original cartoon as well, although it shares little to no similarities.

    2. “So what if it’s based on toys? That doesn’t excuse it from not having any worthwhile plot.”

      No, it most certainly doesn’t. My point is that the reason this film (and its predecessor) was made was not because of some unique concept having been created, but rather, piggy-backing onto an existing product/franchise. Nothing wrong with this, as John points out in his latest video rant…except that we’re talking about the inspiration being toys (and cartoons).

      ‘Coming soon! ‘Lincoln Logs’! They’re not just for kids!’

      ‘It’s not just for baths anymore: Rubber Ducky!’

      ‘In Super-IMAX 3D: ‘Rock’em Sock’em Robots’!’


  45. im sorry but you were very harsh to megan fox. She can act and im pretty sure she can act better then you.

    I have to agree with you on the twins though,the y’re annoying as hell!!! love the cars they transform into but they’re personalities suck like hell!!! why couldn’t they be as cool as ironhide, ratchet, bumblebee or sideswipe (the corvette stingray concept that kills the audi R8, yay!!) I would have loved the film more than i did if they were killed like jazz in the first transformers (R.I.P lol). Another thing that i must disagree with you on is your score, i think its an 8 at least because it ENTERTAINS you and thats the whole point of films isn’t it?

    1. Megan Fox can’t act. She can’t deliver any convincing lines and she’s completely plastic. And it’s not our JOB to act so I wouldn’t expect anyone to be able to better than someone who’s supposed to act as a CAREER.

  46. Damn, I was really looking forward to this movie. I’ll probably like it, but I’m not going in with the expectation I had.

    Favorite parts of video review:

    “I’m Italian by the way.” and “WHOEVER CAME UP WITH THESE PEOPLE SHOULD BE FIRED!”

  47. Just saw the movie. Everything with the Transformers was cool and very much the same as the first movie. Everything else was just…hard to watch. The audience I saw it with loved it, and applauded at the end. Whatever… I didnt hate it, but certainly didnt love it.

    I didnt find the twin bots annoying either, they certainly werent in the movie as much as other people are saying. The only let down for me was the absence of Optimus throughout.

  48. It’s really amazing to me how critics and the movie going audience can have so different opinions on this movie. How can the same movie getting lambasted by the critics be so loved by the viewers?

    As i’ve predicted, the average movie goer LOVE this movie. In the end, this is the only audience that matters. I have looked at the reviews on this board, on youtube, yahoo movies, and they are raving about this movie. They even love The Twins that John hates so much. You are wrong calling them the new Jar Jar Binks. it’s no doubt that this will be the biggest movie of the year. I’m predicting a final gross of 350-400 million.

  49. thanks for the review – i’ll just shut off my brain for parts with the twins in it.

    maybe they’re actually a very intelligent commentary on the state of media today? :]

  50. Just got back from the movie. I think the twins were not even close that annoying like john said they didnt bother me at all. The dialogue was fun :D a lot to laugh ok some bad moments here and there but nothing serious. what bothered me was the shaky cam thing again in some scenes…. but thats all, so from me:

    8 / 10

  51. I don’t agree, the twins were funny, the dialog was funny, and basically all the things you outlines I did not agree with. I give this movie at 9/10

  52. hey
    well you really seem pissed about the twins :D
    I thought they were a bad idea from the start : autobots : proudly sponcered by chevy @:
    hope they won’t bother me to much tonight.
    and I TOTALLY agree about the fox issue : all oooh n ahh and when she talks …. uhhhh :(
    no offence for this : it’s prob a typical american movie , like the first movie and like the next

    I’ll be back :)

  53. I know you’re a bigger Transformers fan than me John (more of a G.I.Joe guy myself so you can imagine how depressed I feel right now) so I feel bad that you didn’t enjoy the movie more.

    Personally, I have to disagree with one of your comments; that people should go and see it. They shouldn’t.

    I was quite disturbed and upset when I crawled out of that IMAX theatre because I realised that I had just seen $200 million dollars worth of nothing on the screen. I thought the action was attrocious for the most part, played in close ups and impossible to make out. There were really only three Autobot vs. Decepticon action sequences (as opposed to like ten in the first film). I found only one special effects action shot (and it was in the trailer) memorable and as you say, the twins DID have more screentime than Optimus or Megatron. The Fallen was the biggest joke of a baddie I’ve ever seen. How the hell can they create all this anticipation for the guy and yet have Devestator be the biggest Decepticon? How can the Fallen only be in the film for ten minutes? How can……well I don’t want to spoil anything.

    Worst of all, let’s be honest here. The film was a carbon copy of the first movie just with all the flaws magnified. There was no evolution. There was no progression in the story. It was just another wacky adventure.

    Oh by the way, SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!

    What did you think of Shia going to robot heaven and getting talked out of being dead because……well just because?

  54. ok, can someone explain something to me….

    SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!

    SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The Fallen was a Prime…

    The Fallen can only be killed by a Prime…

    I guess that would mean that a Prime can only be defeated by a Prime…

    Then, why was Megatron able to kill Optimus Prime?

    1. I think when they say a ‘Prime’, they mean an original ‘Prime’, one of the original transformers can only be killed by another……but…….

      …actually now that I think….

      Yeah, it makes no fucking sense:p

    2. I would say Optimus was more in a statis lock that Ratchet was unable to repair (mind you, once it happened, they never made it back to base to attempt repair) than actually dead. He went offline which the Fallen sensed, and assumed that meant death

    3. My guess would be it was sneak attack from behind. Prime dropped his gaurd after he whooped those decepticons asses . Dunno about you but if anyone attacks me from the back with big sword i would die to .

      Prime was not an original prime he was a decendent of the 4 original prime that hid the dagger key or what it was they hid in the mountain. But i guess since hes there decendent Prime had there kick ass fighting power.

  55. Oh, they were supposed to be black guys. I thought they were representations of Vanilla Ice and Eminem. Id say they were making fun of a type of person raher than a race of people. my Black Step Dad doesn’t act like the twins but my White Cousin does.
    as dumb as those characters were, I never got chills in the movie until the twins started to single handedly begin to take down Devastator. after that the movie has more goosebump giving ability. especially that father son moment between Sam and his Dad in the desert.

  56. I get to see this tonight after work. Still excited to see it. I think I’ll enjoy it, since I was laughing my ass off at the Wheelie clip from a week or two ago.

    Great review to read, got it on my Blackberry last night.

    It does show that even though I’ll like it, probably not as much as the first though.

    We’ll see after tonight.

  57. Soundwave is a satellite. He’s the communications officer. He taps into all the governments surveillence information and feeds that to the Decepticons. He ejects Ravage. All boxes ticked. Aside from the voice, which could have been a ‘bit’ more like his G1 one. He was the only creative and intelligent update in a film filled with pointless sports cars and cement mixers.

  58. This summer has been absolutely balls shit. Worse than 2007!!!

    Only Star Trek, The Hangover and Up were good.

    NATM 2 was okay.

    I am hearing good things about Ice age 3 and hoping District 9 delivers the good.

    I am not interested in harry potter.

    1. I think a clear message is being sent when The Hangover- a film with a 30mil budget and no FX is released in June, becomes a hit with audiences and critics, and stays #1 for two weeks (It was dethroned by ‘The Proposal’- that’s right! Sandra Bullock is back!) and holds off a Pixar film within that time.

      1. That may be Sampson, but as John can attest, he has met Megan Fox on the set of Transformers 1 and even he said the same thing. They look pretty on screen but you see flaws in person. But he said Fox isn’t one of those people. She might not be able to act but she is smokin hot, even in person.

  59. Damn John, you looked angry when you were talking about the twins at the end there! Since you said that the twins (they’re autobots right?) dropped the movie 2-2.5 points, how many points would you say Jar Jar Binks cost the first star wars prequel?

  60. I saw this movie today. It was fine in terms of action and for something to pass the time, however, by the end I was convinced that it was just a vehicle to show off the ‘attractiveness’ of both Megan Fox and Isabel Lucas (I am still trying to figure out why she was even in the movie).

  61. Saw a midnight screening of it earlier, and I have to say I pretty much agree with you, John. Unfortunately I didn’t get to watch it on an IMAX screen, but still, the action and visuals were great.

    To prep, we watched Transformers before we went and that may have been a mistake, because it just solidified the fact that the plot of this movie wasn’t nearly as strong.

    We were also making jokes by the end on how we were sure that the twins were fueled by grape soda and fried chicken…Seriously, they were like the crows from Dumbo.

  62. Great review, John. I might have given it a slightly higher rating, but I agree with most of your point.

    The one area of contention is the characterization of the twins as “racist”. Tons of internet reviewers have referred to them as such, and, frankly, I think it says more about the reviewers than the film. The twins are only racist if you assume they were meant to be black. But if you’re assuming that they were meant ot be black, then maybe you need to stop and think about your own ideas. The notion that only black people act like this is absolutely ridiculous. We’ve all seen tons of boys of all ethnicities act like this, with the same mannerisms and accents. You didn’t find them funny, okay, but racist? Also, racism is when you characterize an entire race in a certain way. Are you really saying that none of the other transformers in this film cold have been representing African American characteristics?

    The twins were caricatures of the hip hop subculture. Not even all of the hip hop subculture, but just a segment of it. And its a group that is comprised of many ethnic backgrounds, African American being just one of them. If you found them offensive in their representation of that culture, fine. But don’t throw around the word “racist” so casually.

    1. Exactly what I’ve been thinking about all the people crying “racist” at the twins, James.

      They’re robots. If the first thing that comes to mind of when you think of goofy, hip hop speaking, buck toothed dim-wits is “black people”, then maybe you need to step back and ask why you’re associating negative attributes to an entire race.

      You could have thought “teenagers”, “hip hop fans”, “goofy cartoon characters”… but no, you thought “NIGGAS”.

    2. Yea I agree, there is no racism here, they are characatures of hip-hop stereotpes….your the ones associating it with black people…..

      There are plenty of eminem wannabes out there who act more like this than any black person.

      Your statemnts are political correctness gone mad.

    3. @James

      It does reveal much about reviewers that they assume the twins are black. However, it is somewhat silly and needlessly politically correct to separate hip hop culture from urban African American culture.

      Though hip hop has been welcoming to members of all races, it was originally formed in African American communities, as I’m sure you well know. Hip-Hop has NO white roots, or negligible ones at best, since any white music that influenced early hip-hop was a filtration of earlier black music (white blues and r’n’b, for example).

      I’ve yet to see the film, but, if the twins are as John says they are, it is not improper to align their behavior with black stereotypes. This would certainly be prejudicial, if not entirely racist.

      The point is that in the public consciousness, hip hop and the African American community are inextricably linked. It is not unsafe to make the assumption that a satirization (or an allegedly failed one, in this case) of hip hop linguistics, mannerisms, and attire could also be perceived as racist.

    4. And as an addendum to my post: not only does hip-hop not have white roots, it has negligible roots in other forms of music (Latin, Eastern, etc.). I just wanted to clarify this to point out that I’m not trying to draw a dichotomy between black and white. Hip hop is a historically black art form, with heavy roots in slave traditions such as signifying and the dozens (commonly known as a competition of yo momma jokes) and Jamaican reggae. To say that hip hop subculture is “a group that is comprised of many ethnic backgrounds” is correct, but strangely reductive. It removes the original flare and power of hip hop. Needless deracialization.

  63. I agree that they messed up the movie with these two characters totally agree i just had one question was the girl who fought sam blackarachnia

  64. Just saw the 11:30am screening here in Sydney, I’m with you John I can’t decide if I even like this film and I really enjoyed the first.

    For me the novelty of the transformations has worn off somewhat so I was hoping for stronger story. I know, check your brain at the door bla bla, fuck that, Bay trashed this film, did he even watch the final cut? Did he actually have an input in the editing process and if he did, you prick! I found the film disjointed and in the end I was kind of wondering what the point was. When the action was good, it was good, when it was bad it sucked devastator balls. I often wondered who the fuck was where, was that an autobot getting trashed or decepticon. Was that Megatron getting smacked or starscream or the fallen or my momma? It actually becomes quite hard to follow, so much so that you lose the wow factor.

    Does that stupid green twin fuck, I believe his name is dipshit, does he actually have a gold tooth? Of course he does, but wait there’s less, not just a gold tooth but buck fucking teeth! These twin characters (and I use the term loosely), were as irritating as the 20mins+ of ads I had to sit through while waiting for a 2 and a half hour ad for the army and GM. Those greedy little twin fuckers took up way, way, way, way too much screen time.

    ***SPOILER******SPOILER******SPOILER******SPOILER******SPOILER******SPOILER******SPOILER******SPOILER******SPOILER******SPOILER******SPOILER******SPOILER******SPOILER******SPOILER***I was so happy to see devastator eat one of the twin fucks, I thought the movie and Bays reputation had been saved, Unfortunately Bay couldn’t close the deal and like Jar Jar the twins live on to ruin another film, woo hoo,

    I hope and I will pray to the gods of all that is holy, unholy and semi holy that Bay does not, will not and shall not ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever direct a transformers movie again. Take all the good parts and you’d have enough to fill the half hour timeslot of the cartoon. This film is as successful as the GM bailouts.

  65. I just watched the movie, and i have to disagree with the comments about the “twins.” From the comment u made you said they where racist and then u call them a “hood nigga?” But this movie was freaking AWESOME!!! i never blog.. but it was so good that i had to come home and post…. and DAMN, Ms. FOX is looking good!! haha… transformer 2 was 1. funnier 2. more fights!! and i bet their will be another!! megatron is still alive!!! OVERAll: 12 OUTTA 10

  66. Hey John, et al.

    I just got back from the midnight showing, and I agree with some of what you said, but not all. You are definitely bang on correct about the Twins. WAY too politically incorrect, even for me. I can understand a stereotype, but seriously? This shits got to stop in Hollywood. I wonder if the NAACP will raise some concerns. I would certainly hope someone does, because that shit’s not needed in this day and age. I don’t care how funny you think you are.

    Some other posters made some correct statements about too many robots and not enough screen time for, especially, the Autobots. Mind you, unless the movie is going to be ALL about the Transformers, I don’t know how they could’ve done anything about that. You are also bang on with the Soundwave viewpoint as well. WTF was that? And who the fuck is this Leo prick, and why does he need to be in the movie? He’s more annoying than Anthony Anderson was in the previous one!

    I did read the Ebert review, and although I can understand his views, he’s always critising a movie based on its potential for awards (his award, anyways) and not as the movie’s intention. It is, afterall, a “popcorn flick”, as you call it. It’s not meant to be deep or strong in its characters. It’s meant to be fun and entertaining, without depth.

    I am a little bit disappointed in it also, as I was expecting something stronger (in story/depth). However, I have to keep in mind (as you should too) that the whole idea behind this movie is to promote a toy line, and money. If the toy line was to come AFTER the movie was released (ie. the toys/story are from the movie, and not the other way around), the story would’ve been more solid and so would the acting. BTW, I think you are being a lot too harsh on Ms. Fox. She may not be the greatest actor, but she doesn’t claim to be either. She knows her role, and she does it well. Doesn’t that make her accomplished in her own right?

    Anyways, I thought this movie was fun. Yes it has its flaws (if I’m to critique it, it has a lot) but at the end of it all, it’s just a fun movie where stuff changes into other stuff, and shit explodes all over the place. Good fun, for what it is.

    1. “WAY too politically incorrect, even for me. I can understand a stereotype, but seriously? This shits got to stop in ” seriously if u could have just finished that line withe Oakland it would have made me laugh haha

  67. Just got back. Had a late start due to them taking 10 minutes to start the projector?!?

    I look at this movie like a good book. When a book is going good, you do not want to put it down, like certain scenes in the movie. When the book is slow or tedious, you plow through it because you know some of it is important to the story, like certain other scenes in the movie. I got goosebumps at certain scenes and others I cringed. I could have done without Simmons changing pants like that (What the hell did they pay Tuturro to do that?!?), but the Twins were not as bad as some of the reviews were making them out to be. I do not think they are “Jar Jar” caliber schumcks, but they could have been toned down a little. They were like those kids I see in the malls trying to be cool/rap gangsta wannabes.

    There is a pretty fluid plot, but I read the book too. I could have used more character development, and personally, Dr. Claw as Soundwave was bad, what happened to voice modulation, especially since it is Frank Welker doing it just like G1 days?

    Was it the best it could have been, IMHO, no. Was it good and would I watch it again, YES! I did not go in expecting Shakespeare, like some of the “Professional Critics” seem to have expected from a Michael Bay film, so I was not disappointed with the end result.

  68. The review above shows why you are my favourite movie reviewer….
    That review was awesome.
    I’ll see Transformers 2 and i’m ready to hate Twins.

    “Whoever brought the Twins in this movie should be fired”…That is cool…Loved it!

    Keep it up John!

  69. I loved it, the film was long, action packed and mindless fun, the negatives everyone mentions and seem to be dwelling on may be a down side to the movie, but dam, they are a small part of it which I eaily overlooked.
    I saw it in premium Imax seats, and the scale was imense, the fights and action scenes have never been attempted before and they are pulled of excelently.
    The story was pants, as it was in the first, but that made no difference to me, the story was just there to bring robot against robot and thats what we got.

    Now I like all types of movies, from complex dramas, to beautiful stories and all out action flicks.

    This is nothing more that a wet dream for 80’s kids & action fans, what more did we expect.

    This was exactly what I expected, and it delivered, in a massive way.

    The only thing I will mention as being a down side for me in both movies, is the love interest, Megan fox, Ihate unneeded love intersts in films, and it certainly isn’t needed in either Transformers 1 or 2.
    Great, she’s hot, but come on, I don’t know where you live, but there are hot people everywhere.
    The love interest is dull, boring and unbelievable and takes vaulable screen time away from the transformers.

    I’d definately recommend this movie, but please go in with yours eyes open, this isn’t a dickens novel or a jackson epic – It’s an 80’s cartoon directed by my boom boom – and thats what it delivers.


  70. It doesn’t surprise me that this film isn’t that good. It has been sitting at 39% for all the international reviews. And the fact they had a moratorium on reviews did set off some flags for me personally. I’m still probably going to see it. I don’t know when, but I will. Maybe its a good thing that Michael Bay wants to move on.

  71. Just got back from seeing it. It sucks, IMO.
    It starts out great, great action, then we get to see Sam and his very funny parents and then it all falls apart. The plot is very muddled, sometimes confusing and not very entertaining. The dialogue sucks. There is SO MUCH ACTION going on, its fun to see, very fun, but by the last half hour I was so bored!
    Loved the first one, but this one was just meh. I wouldn’t say “don’t go see it” but I wouldn’t recommend it either.

  72. 5/10 John???? 5/10??? Oh my goodness that is like the saddest news this week…. I’m going to see it in about 6 hours and now I’m really draged :( that is so sad oh man………. :(

  73. I am really looking forward to the movies. I was very skeptical about the first one till…I watched it. Since then have been waiting for the second part and it is Coming :)

    Great, Great and GREAT :)

  74. The new Jar jar john?,yeah you know what’s what!,what movie do you see? I’m still trying to work that out cause i know it was not transformers 2,I think you migth have walked in to a screening of Son of mask.

  75. A major weakness with the first film was the lack of the Decepticons, this film makes up for that which is great. To me, this felt like a Decepticon film. You have that bickering between, Megatron and Starscream, you have scenes of scheming and plotting. It’s all there.

    Because this film is more Decepticon focused, the steaks are raised. There were parts throughout this film that you really didn’t know, who was going to live and who were going to die. This gave a lot of scenes more of an emotional impact. One scene in particular almost had me in tears. You know which one :(

    The action is a lot more clear this time around. The first film had too many close up shots during the action sequences, this time you can see what’s going on. The action is also bigger than the first film. With these improvements, the robot fighting is mind-blowing. Prime is just a total badass throughout this sequel.

    ILM have totally outdone themselves even more this time. My mouth watered seeing all the transformations on screen. ILM totally got shafted for their work on Transformers in 2007 at the Oscars. They better win this year.

    Wheelie and Jetfire are two new bots who shined most for me, both had a lot of personality. Anyone who hated Wheelie from G1, this version made up for him. I liked Skids and Mudflap, maybe because I’ve watched everything Transformers and I find that theres so much other characters that annoyed me like in Armada or Energon. Ravage was totally like his G1 counterpart and The Fallen as some scenes which aloud some opening into the Transformers mythology.

    The thought the acting was much improved this time around. From Shia and Megan Fox, she still may be one of the weakest acting wise, but still, she was so much better. Leo, who I didn’t like at first, but was actually pretty hilarious along side, John Turturro.

    While it’s great that this is a Decepticon film, it looses focus on the Autobots. New bots such as, Sideswipe, Arcee and Jolt, get absolutely no development. Jolt appears in the background at some point and Arcee gets two lines. The biggest disappointment was Sideswipe, who looked so badass. Ratchet becomes another background character, which sucked. I would like an even spread for the third film, because the film really suffered from too many bots.

    There were parts that really made no sense with the bots. Blackout(who is called Grindor from the toy) comes back without no explanation. At some points there are two of same Contructicons, which left me baffled.

    There was only one bot I was disappointed in, and that was Soundwave. He didn’t have his famous voiced which sucked, but he was voiced by Frank Welker which kinda made up for that.

    Transformers is a kids franchise at the end of the day. Sure you got to change things up for the film so it appeals to everyone, but my god, some of the language in this film surprised me. At one point, Mudflap calls Leo a pussy. There were other things that really questioned, if this film was really suitable for kids at all.

    About 3/4 through the film, it drags. A good 10-15 minute slice to the film would have worked wonders for it. The last film felt tighter, where as this, feels a little bit scattered.

  76. Hi All,
    I’ve seen this movie last week. First in Japanese and second in English. For both part, I agree that the most disappointment (by ranking) : twins, not so many memorable scenes as the first even though the effects does all the marvel, too many meant-to-be-joking dialogs, Megan Fox (I mean her acting). Overall, I think the second tends to loose it’s soul.
    Sorry, but it is just my thought.

  77. Great reveiw John…I’ll be seein this on Saturday(maybe).


    Is there a scene during the credits like in the first film?

    Oh and I heard that the twins were Bay’s FAVORITE characeters,

  78. Fuck.

    If John, clearly a way bigger Transformers fan then me, gave it a 5- then i have no hope of enjoying this movie. This just seriously ruined my 3 years of anticipation.

    Five!? FUCK!

    1. no i think john is alone in his vitriolic hate for the Twins characters, and nobody in the general audience would care about the dialogue or Megan Fox’s acting abilities.

      The general audience will love this movie! and i’m sure you will too.

  79. I knew it!!! When I saw your list of must see summer movies and Transformers at the top of the list I said to myself “haha, he is in for a disappointment” and I was right!!!

    Sorry, I don’t mean to gloat but I kinda got annoyed when you put Transformers at the top of the list, number six was as high as it should have gone in my opinion.

  80. Seeing this film on Friday night, with a buch of friends. Can’t wait to see Optimus again on the big screen.
    I always thought most Michael Bay films were entertainingly cheesy anyway, so I won’t lose too much sleep on the “Twins”. Great review!

  81. Funny review. Waiting to see it Saturday. But did you atually say niggas! Gutsy! I will prepair myself for these jar jar binks twins. As a black woman, I have to admit I AM getting tired of the ghetto stereo types, but whatever! If the movie is good enough to sit through for 2 1/2 hours I will blank out when the twins show up.

    1. Who knows maybe we’ll love Transformers but for now the only good movies we got this summer so far are Star Trek, Up, the Hangover, and to some extent Terminator. 07, only good films of the summer: Bourne, Superbad, to some extent Die Hard, Ratatouille, Harry Potter. The Transformers cursed the summers they’ve been in. Look at it, last year was probably the best summer in history, following 07 which was probably the worst, Transformer movie came. And now in a summer with another transformer movie in it, we are tasting the start of a very disappointing summer

    2. The Fast and Furius was worth the wait.
      UP had a point, but was not as good as all the other pixar movies.
      Star Trek had a good story and was worth the watch, but a little short on action.
      X-Men didnt have hidden morals within the story like the trilogiy before, but was stil a great movie considering what they had to work with.
      Terminator was a good, action packed doomsday movie. Had some missing pieces, but still worth it.
      The Hangover is easily the funniest movie of the summer.
      Transformers is the best of its genre, it keeps your eyes glued to the screen and your mind interested at the same time.

    3. BTW if you guys are looking for another batman, its not going to happen. It seems like everyone is looking for plot stacked action movies now because of it. Yes it was a great movie, but it was more suspense then action. Oh and to say transformers curses the whole summers is rediculous. Since when did on director and on producer create and release every movie that came out during the summer.

  82. John, few questions, Phantom Menace or Revenge of the Fallen?

    How was shia, better or worse?

    Is the Fallen one guy or a whole nother group of robots?

    Do you think we’ll see any Transformers boycotts for the racially sensitive due to the twins?

  83. Hey John maybe they made this movie “for the money” or “for the paycheck”? Look the twins are just for merchandising. My 7 year old daughter saw the twin dolls and had no care for it at all. She actually wanted the starscream doll instead.

    1. #1. He’s said this before, but EVERY single movie ever was made for money.
      #2. Merchandising should go towards good characters, after this movie comes out, if these two twin characters are as painfully horrible as John says, no one will pay a dime for these two characters, no one bought a jar jar toy.

  84. I agree with this review. The action was obviously fantastic as were the special effects. Unfortunately, they actually managed to make it stupider than the original film! It was like it kept sinking to new lows. I realize it’s not going to be Shakespeare or something, it’s based on an 80’s kids cartoon and toy-line, but where in the original series or the toy-line was a robot dog humping a woman’s leg?

  85. I have to say, if anything you’re too kind on the movie John, and Ebert’s review posted above seems closer to my experience – even though I loved the first movie for the same reasons as you.
    Beyond the 1st two big action scenes which were awesome, nothing happens. And by that, I mean there isn’t any robot on robot action for nearly an hour and a half!
    Plus the final battle seems to be simultaneously a drawn out re-hash of one of the scenes from the first movie and also over far too quickly (can’t really clarify that without spoiling a lot).
    In fact there’s a lot I can’t complain about (plot-holes, characters, humour) without spoilers but I’ll end with this – why has Transformers become one long advert for the US military?

  86. For anyone bitching about the run time I’d like to point out that the special editions of Aliens and T2 come in at 148 and 147 mins respectively. When was the last time you thought they were too long? The difference is Cameron knows how to cultivate suspense and characters you care about so when you get an awesome action sequence it feels justified and has the genuine sense of danger.

    Bay is a kid with a lot of C4 and a lot of pocket money to spend on ILM. Who honestly thinks we’ll look back in ten years time and give a shit about this franchaise.

    I’m a lifelong transformers fan but even as mere popcorn fodder Bayformers seems tired already.

    1. You started arguing that run times didn’t matter and that people complaining about the runtime for Transformers 2 should shut it.

      “For anyone bitching about the run time I’d like to point out that the special editions of Aliens and T2 come in at 148 and 147 mins respectively. When was the last time you thought they were too long?”.

      Then, you justified those same complaints that people were making about Transformer’s runtime, undercutting your own argument.

      “The difference is Cameron knows how to cultivate suspense and characters you care about so when you get an awesome action sequence it feels justified and has the genuine sense of danger”.

    2. @ SlashBeast:

      “Pineapplehead” was just saying that its not the runtime that is the problem, but the fact that Bay didnt pace the movie correctly. People keep pointing out the LENGTH as the issue but its not that; its everything else.

    3. Then using “Bitching” as a term to deride people as if defending the film then trying to tear down the film is not the most effective way to get your point across.

  87. wheelie that annoying backwards talking transformer from the animated film..Wow lame to put him in this. I would rather see wheel jack or prowl but oh well. I am still going to see it.

    1. WheelJack was rumoured to be in this movie as one of those SAAB concept cars ( I believe ) but for some reason was cut out.. As for Wheelie, well he was a good inclusion to this movie… mind you though he is actually an Autobot NOT a Decepticon, so I don’t know what Michael Bay was smoking at the time, when he turned Wheelie from an Autobot to a Decepticon then back to an Autobot again..

    1. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! He RAPED that movie!! Damn!! That guy fuckin RAPED that movie! DMX RAPE!! TRIPPLE PENETRATION RAPE!! DAMN!! WHYYYYY????!!!

    2. Wait a minute were we reading the same ebert review, his article said he hated it, he said that you go into your kitchen, have a quior from hell start singing and a kid bang on pots and pans and close your eyes and use your imagination and thats what the movie was like for him….. Thats hardly Ebert loved it….. Did you even read the review? He give it 1 star, I dodn’t know eberts start rating system but 1 star is hardly a good review. I think next time you should read the review you post….

  88. John, does this mean that you have no interest in seeing a Transformers 3? Or are you going to give Bay or whoever else a chance to redeem for this one?

  89. What’s worse is seeing the twins being used to sell Burger King Kids Meals, such positive role models for children. If I was a Paramount exec I would be doing everything in my power to minimalize the twins visibility.

  90. I liked and hated the first film and its a sure bet that I’ll feel the same about this one too. Im sure the twins are’nt that bad. I really dont hate Jar Jar anyway. I did like Wheelie calling Fox a bitch thou lol. At least the PS3 revenge game is much better than the first movie game.

  91. Believe it or not, i found the humans less annoying in this movie than in the first. that they actually show the fight between Prime and Megatron this time is a huge plus. I actually shed a tear after a certain scene.

    I didn’t like the Twins, but they didn’t annoy me that much, Jar Jar was by far more annoying. Wish they had done more with Devastator, his part in this movie was disappointing. What one robot does to Megan Fox when they get to egypt was stupid.

    1. I just saw it for first time and I have to agree that the twins aren’t THAT bad. They don’t help the movie a whole lot but they didn’t ruin it for me.

      I agree what that robot did to Megan Fox was totally unnecessary, there is way to much cheap humor in this movie. Needless cussing and humping takes away from the film. They did to transformers what they did to pirates. In trying to one-up themselves they boosted not only everything great (action, graphics) but all the unecessary shock lines/scenes.

    2. I have to second everything that melbye said. The Twins had a significantly smaller role than reviews like this were leading me to believe. I disliked the “hackers” in the first movie more than I hated the Twins in this one. The humans were definitely less bothersome. If anything, some of the robots seemed to die too fast for me. That’s my worst complaint. Also, wheelie’s reason for changing sides was because he didn’t like being a mistreated underling of the Decepticons. I kinda made that clear on his own. Also, I like John Turturro’s character more in this movie than the last. I give the movie a 7.5/10

    3. As far as criticism:
      Alice (Isabel Lucas) and Leo (Ramon Rodriguez) were not needed. They both could have been dropped from the movie to fix pacing and build story and the movie would have been better for it. Alice and Leo are the new “Hackers”. We didn’t need the “Hackers” in the first movie and we didn’t need Alice and Leo in this one.

    4. I think I agree. The twins were annoying and probably could have been cut out and no one would have noticed or cared. The molesting robot… that was icky as well as the butt cheek scene. *shudders*

  92. Excellent review, John; thanks. I’ll be going to see the film tomorrow night, and I’m extremely happy to hear that the action, as well as the screen presence of the Transformers themselves, is in larger and better amounts. Certainly sounds like the perfect summer film. However, if “The Twins” truly are the new Jar Jar (and have THAT much screen time), well….thanks for the warning, man.

    1. I want to say that seems old to be playing with toys but i had playstation. if it wasn’t for video games i probably would have been playing with toys.

      Anyway good review from the half of it that i did read avoiding spoilers.

  93. nice review.
    Surely the main problem for me was the LENGHT..
    The final prymid scene was amazing and spectacular, but at the end I just didnt care enough to emotionly attach myself to the outcome.
    Agree about Megan Fox, shes got hotter but she hardly says anything

  94. well im going to see it tonite, and to be honest i dont pay attention to critics because the only opinion that matters is mine if i like it im happy, but a great review john, glad there is stuff for this movie worth seeing cant wait, just a few more hours.

    1. lmfao, you just said you don’t pay attention to critics but you just complemented John on the review, meaning you do pay attentionn to critics

      hopefully Micheal Bay will listen to his critics and take into consideration that special effects don’t make up for plot

    2. i was so insulted by this movie. Nothing is as i hoped or expected. i would best describe it as furious. i would also say if i had a 5 year old kid i would not let them see it because of adult themes.

    3. First of all I respect the review of the movie. You have always been true in your views and opinions, but “hood niggas”? Come on man! Unless you are African-American, you cannot use that and you know it. I bet you wouldn’t say that on one of your podcast, huh? And no, you don’t get a pass because your from Canada either! Your cool, but you aint that cool.

    4. Hey Bigmann120

      You missed my point completely. The term is offensive and I was pointing out what they did and how they portrayed them… and in doing so I was offended.

    5. Great review. I loved the rants on the twins. I cringed with every word that left their mouths. Stereotypes like that shouldn’t be in films, even if they are put there to try and reach a larger demographic.

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