Rumour is hitting the net today that Uwe Boll is setting his sights on another video game adaptation. Metroid could be getting the Boll taint, and the rumour also says that Jessica Simpson is his choice for Samus!
Simpson would play the heroine, Samus, in the film based on the 1980s Nintendo game. If one thing needed to change in this scenario, it’s Metroid. You’d want Uwe to direct the worst possible video game adaptation he could…again, especially if by some stroke of ridiculously good fortune it was to be the dream collaboration with Daisy Duke 2.0.
I am more concerned about Uwe Boll directing another video game adaptation. I am sure it would be standard Boll fare, and for most of the movie, Metroid would be in the armour, so not worried about Simpson.
The spoiler is out, so the big reveal that all along Samus was a girl would be an anticlimactic spill, but a CG Samus the whole movie and Simpson making so much as a cameo at the end taking off the helmet to reveal long curly blond locks and a pretty face isn’t the worst idea in the world.
I actually liked Simpson as Daisy Duke, as much as I didn’t like that version of the film (Beginnings is better and that Daisy is hotter) but she plays the southern belle eyecandy just fine.
But with Simpson going plus sized, her head and shampoo commercial worthy hair is all they need for a Samus reveal.
But it might all be a rumour that Uwe even has the Metroid property in his psychotic hands anyways.
Someone just leaked the script (or at least the first two pages). Fark has the link under the “geek” tab. It doesn’t look that bad- I would pay to see it anyway.
As Audioout said, Nintendo isn’t foolish enough to sell movie rights to just anyone, ESPECIALLY Uwe Boll.
I’d like to think they have some dignity and pride in their games and wouldn’t ruin the series with a crappy movie.
If they make a Metroid movie, Jessica Alba should be Samus, and Uwe Bowl shouldn’t have anything to do with it.
It doesn’t matter what Uwe wants. Nintendo has become notoriously guarded of their intellectual properties since the whole Phillips CDi and Super Mario Bros movie thing.
They’ve already turned down several offers to obtain film rights to both Metroid and Legend Of Zelda in the past.
but still they made those dreadful Super Mario Bros and Double Dragon movie. You never know….
If we are talking about the live action Super Mario Bros. and Double Dragon, I actually enjoyed those films.
“Shot the Metroid down!!!!!”
“Yes, but what is it, the chicken or the tuna?!?!?!?”
“NO,its the Metroid KILL IT!!!!!”
“Yeah!!!! But what the hell is it the CHICKEN OR THE TUNA????””””
SSSSSHHHHHHUUUUUAAARRRRRRRR
the end
I’m not a Nintendo fanboy and even I think that’s a bad idea. I can’t say much about Simpson since frankly any woman with blonde hair can be Samus (really how much actuall interaction and talking is there to get a feel for what woman would really fit the suit best?) but Boll? No.
Unless someone can point to at least one decent movie he’s done. I’d rather take chances on an unknown handling this over him.
This is a Huge Joke
Uwe Boll is the biggest JOKE in the world
This is a biggest joke of the week. Nintendo fanboys must be crying in pain right now. This would be such a disaster. If Nintendo let those rights go to Boll I think every WII consoles on the planet will explodes simultaneously!!! I’d almost put money on that his next move after that will be to try to get the rights for a Ninja Gaiden movie.
ugggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh