Joss Whedon’s Open Letter to Terminator Owners

Joss Whedon has decided to put an end to the upcoming bidding war for the Terminator Franchise and issued an open letter to Halycon!

Whedonesque shares:

Dear Sirs/Ma’ams,

I am Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind Titan A.E., Parenthood (not the movie) (or the new series) (or the one where ‘hood’ was capitalized ’cause it was a pun), and myriad other legendary tales. I have heard through the ‘grapevine’ that the Terminator franchise is for sale, and I am prepared to make a pre-emptive bid RIGHT NOW to wrap this dealio up. This is not a joke, this is not a scam, this is not available on TV. I will write a check TODAY for $10,000, and viola! Terminator off your hands.

No, you didn’t miscount. That’s four — FOUR! — zeroes after that one. That’s to show you I mean business. And I mean show business. Nikki Finke says the Terminator concept is played. Well, here’s what I have to say to Nikki Finke: you are a fine journalist and please don’t ever notice me. The Terminator story is as formative and important in our culture — and my pretend play — as any I can think of. It’s far from over. And before you Terminator-Owners (I have trouble remembering names) rush to cash that sweet cheque, let me give you a taste of what I could do with that franchise:

1) Terminator… of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far… back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? “Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!” RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he’s a cyborg and he doesn’t give a s#&% about the ring — it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he’s doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise).

2) More Glau. Hey. There’s a reason they’re called “Summer” movies.

3) Can you say… musical? Well don’t. Even I know that’s an awful idea.

4) Christian Bale’s John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.)

5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there’s a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar — and dollar signs!

6) The movies will stop getting less cool.

Okay. There’s more — this brain don’t quit! (though it has occasionally been fired) — but I think you get my drift. I really believe the Terminator franchise has only begun to plumb the depths of questioning the human condition during awesome stunts, and I’d like to shepherd it through the next phase. The money is there, but more importantly, the heart is there. But more importantly, money. Think about it. End this bloody bidding war before it begins, and put the Terminator in the hands of someone who watched the first one more than any other movie in college, including “Song of Norway” (no current franchise offer).

Sincerely, Joss Whedon.

Oh the beauty of the snark! Clearly Whedon is of the mind that Terminator has run its course and his impressive offer speaks volumes of where he sees value in the property that once ruled scifi geekdom.

He gets his jabs in but even pokes fun at other things to make sure no one will confuse this with a serious offer.

I would be surprised to see any studio dropping a massive chunk of change on these rights. Most of the big ticket speculation actually came from Halycon themselves who felt that the recent $60million sale of TMNT was a sign that Terminator would be worth much more.

How much do you think Terminator will go for?

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41 thoughts on “Joss Whedon’s Open Letter to Terminator Owners

  1. i can totally see an Avatar sequel where instead of creating hybrids, they send some T 800’s and all kinds of shit fall upon the navi’s… Cameron and Whedon should have a brainstorm about it!!!

  2. If he’s offering $10k for the Terminator franchise, i’d offer about $1000 for the Firefly franchise. On a serious note, Joss if you are reading this, i’ll offer $10000 for the Firefly franchise.

  3. To be honest the same things were said about Star Trek, but this year they delivered an awesome Star Trek Film. The Terminator franchise as a lot more legs to it. It just needs a better creative force behind it. They did a fairly good job with the last film (I enjoyed it), it was just not everyone’s cup of tea.

    1. Chris, that’s a very astute observation. Star Trek was probably more dead than Terminator prior to this years film.

      Similar to the Trek franchise, Terminator has the ability to retcon and reboot itself, without even having to ignore certain things ever happened.

      The SCC show effectively overwrites T3, so T3 and SCC are two totally different time-lines. Salvation is even said to not be the future that Sarah Connor had told John about, hinting that it too may also be considered an alternate time line.

      I like the whole Terminator concept. I see T1 and T2 as a perfect pair of films, that between them both are self contained and finish off the story perfectly. Nothing NEEDS to be added. However, since I enjoy the whole concept, I do enjoy seeing the ‘alternate’ stories presented by T3, Salvation and SCC, whether they end up being as good or not.

      I would not mind if we continued to get more Terminator TV shows or movies that explored the whole concept and universe the Terminators inhabit.

  4. I am not a huge fan of his….but this was genius, one of the best things he’s ever written because it is that funny.

    It’s too bad a Terminator flick will never happen w/ Summer Glau (the next Terminator movie gives notice to SCC’s altered timeline..) but then again I’d see Summer Glau in just about anything.

    Perhaps someone will make a serious bid- but why, exactly? There really isn’t much more to do or say, unless whoever buys it will sit on it for five to ten years and R it.

    R it

    R as in Remake Retcon and Reboot.

    and although not needed, go for an R rating. R it, y’know.

      1. Terminator was not dead before Mcg came along and absolutely butchered the franchise with Salvation. Could somebody else perhaps resurrect this franchise and produce a great movie? Maybe, but the only way would be to completely disregard Salvation. Whedon = Talented writer/director Joseph McGuinty = Hack

      2. @bigsampson: Dude, what kinda question is that? “If it was good” obviously qualifies it as an “undead” franchise, regardless of who directs it :-S

  5. haha fools…terminator franchise has a loyal fanbase…just like whedon..i think whedon is a joke that has had some fun rides on the way….i think its funny that someone here defends this while at the same time i would agree if whedon did get the rights for $10,000 (i know its a joke) but if he did he would bank off it and probly do the six movie too…w.e whedon fanboys….he has more crap then hits…but rodney is right about whedon bieng humble…as much as i hate pretty much anything he touches i would smoke a joint with him.

    1. More crap than hits is subjective. He had ONE TV series that didn’t make it past the first season. Three that did. Two that are qualified successes.

      Bryan Fuller can’t even claim that and the man is considered an excellent writer.

      That you don’t like his shows is hardly “proof” that he has more crap than hits. Its just your opinion.

      But he is a cool guy with a good head on his shoulders.

      1. agreed….just not a fan of fanboyism that people put on him and his series…he is very up to date on pop culture and uses it to his advantage….and true is is my opinion that i am taking in account….i mean shit i think the book twighlight is the single greatest hack job of a book in the last 20 years…yet look how many fans and loyal readers the series has….so even though i dont like twighlight and i think the writer w/e the fuck her name is shit and should be outed for her complete bullshit she writes…..i have to say least whedon has fresh ideas and is not a hack…and man it was funny on the opening episode of robot chicken when he calls it the Whedonverse hahaha

      2. Um, bigsampson – that Robot Chicken episode you refered to was …a JOKE! Serioulsy?? YOu did not take that seriously? That is what made it so funny was the fact that Joss actually used it in a sentence. Do you also think Joss lives in a big dark castle and wears gothic/nobility clothing? come on.

        You don’t have to be a Wedon fan – there’s no harm in it, but the man has created some great stuff whether it’s your thing or not he’s had success creating some good stories.

  6. Joss Whedon fucking rules. Long Live “Serenity. Okay, so I don’t think he be good on a Terminator film. What SHOULD happen is James Cameron buys the franchise and then ensure the fans that no more shitty sequels will be made.

    1. Louis, did you even read his open letter?

      What part of that makes you think he was serious about the offer?

      Its clearly snark illustrating his opinion that the franchise isnt worth much.

  7. The franchise HAS run it’s course. Terminator Salvation was pretty bad IMO. This is funny. Fans shouldnt be offended by it. They SHOULD however be offended by getting ripped off by the new movies. T3? Seriously? Salvation? C’mon. Both just plain bad movies. Dont take shit too seriously. The guy wrote a funny letter, nothing more nothing less. He takes jabs at himself!
    Get over it. Stop taking shit so damn personally!

    Also @Anti-Spetic maybe you shouldnt blindly back whatever your wife says. At least dont phrase it ‘women in general’ when you JUST mean your wife. Form your own opinions.

  8. I find it mildly amusing, not funny. He has a right to his opinion of course, but I hardly think all Sci-Fi fans and people in general who are fans of that genre are tired of Terminators.

    I would like to go ahead and make my own bid on those awesome Dollhouse hookers, I’d pay $500 bucks for a night with one of his creations. (JK)

    Oh and by the way, the reason why the show is failing is he is too dumb to see that Women in general find the Dollhouse concept offensive and nothing more than a brothel. At least that is what my wife tells me. So he instantly lost the female crowd from viewing, where as with shows like Buffy, Angel, etc. he had a very large female following watching his show.

    So maybe Whedon should check his ego at the door sometime.

    1. Whedon is incredibly humble. Look at any of his interviews or things he says publicly. He is a working man’s writer and never claims to be more than he is.

      And Whedon ALWAYS has a reputation for writing strong women in his shows.

      So your wife represents EVERY person who doesn’t watch Dollhouse because they misconstrue the concept of the show?? The “Brothel” angle is just one of many reasons the Actives get used. Clearly you don’t watch the show and neither does your wife. That doesn’t make Joss Whedon dumb.

    2. Well, you can count me out of the uptight women who like to write off a show based on one concept of a rather large storyline. Do you know they’ve even addressed the whole “prostitute” angle? Sigh…I love overly judgmental views (sarcasm). Dollhouse is a lot of fun with some intriguing stories. It’s not all about sex.

    3. http://www.cracked.com/article/166_5-reasons-it-sucks-being-joss-whedon-fan/

      Thats a funny cracked article about Joss Whedon that I couldn’t agree with more. Oh, and what could be more humble than writing an open, sarcastic as hell letter about how a franchise you have nothing to do with is worth crap. Sounds like a dude who just keeps to himself. Whedon fanboys need to see the forrest for the trees, dude has an ego and plent of enablers.

    4. In regard to your question, yes I do watch the show! Way to make a snap judgement based on a comment. And my comment about the brothel comes straight from my wife and daughter who were fans of Buffy and etc.

      Based on comments from my wife and all her workmates who are women, I just cannot see a large demographic of women who watch this show. Whether you want to accept it or not, this show is a miss and I will be extremely surprised if it gets another season.

      Just for the record, I hated Buffy it was way to girly for me as a series. I watched the entire run of Angel though, it had the right mix of action and drama.

      I have struggled to watch each and every episode of Dollhouse, I count maybe 3-4 episodes that I thought were good. The whole concept of the show while on paper is intriguing, just hasn’t transfered to the TV Screen.

      1. The “snap judgement” comes from your statement that the show is about a brothel. Yes there are sexual encounters, but that is one tiny part of what they do and what the show is about. If you watched the show you would see that its mostly NOT sexual encounters. So it wasn’t a snap, it was an educated response to your baseless blanket statement that the Dollhouse is basically just a brothel.

        Also, your blanket statement that you presumed the demographic all agreed with your wife’s presumptions about the show as well. Which if she watched it, couldnt really make that assumption.

        If you “struggle to watch it” then dont. Why would you do that to yourself? Who does that?

      2. @Rodney

        Well unlike some people who will just give up on a series, I will give it every chance I can. I am not a Whedon fanboy but I do think he can be a great writer and to be honest every episode I watch I keep thinking…. ok this is gonna be the turning point and the series is gonna just take off, but sadly it just hasn’t happened.

        Like I said in the above post “On paper the Dollhouse idea is very intriguing, it just hasnt been able to transfer to the TV Screen.

    5. Mate, just read this:

      The premiere episode of Dollhouse helped Fox double its audience levels among women versus Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, and helped the network finish in second place among adults 18–34 and in first place across the key male demographic for the night

      Er, hope that helps…..

  9. I think he’s an a$*hole who wants attention. It’s funny, but dude, mind your own business. Would you like it if someone wrote a smarta** letter about Dollhouse?

    1. And people do badmouth his works, and he takes it in stride.

      He even pokes fun at himself instead of introducing himself by his better known works like Buffy/Firefly/Dollhouse, or screenplays like Toy Story, he opens with “mastermind behind Titan A.E., Parenthood”

      If someone wrote a smartass letter about Dollhouse I am sure he wouldn’t care. After all the jerking around he gets Joss has tougher skin than that!

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