Trekkies Attack New Star Trek As Too Entertaining

When you need real hard jouralism, everyone knows you turn to The Onion. I’ve loved this paper for years and the videos they make are far better than anything you’ll ever see on Saturday Night Live (in my opinion anyway). Their latest video report is on the backlash Trekkies are having against the new Star Trek movie because it makes too much sense and is too watchable. My favorite line: “If I wanted to watch young attractive people doing exciting things, I’d stay home and watch sports”.

Check it out:


Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As ‘Fun, Watchable’

(found via: FSR)

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59 thoughts on “Trekkies Attack New Star Trek As Too Entertaining

  1. Engine room looked like a brewery- it was filmed in a winery. Shuttle bay was a old airplane hanger and looked it,Starship defenses can’t shoot at 2 missles at once and they’re fooled by multiple warhead missles!!! Those were used in the 1960’s the story had more plot flubs than I can fit in here THE WORST MOVIE EVER, Abrhms go back and direct tele-tubbies thats more hard edge for you
    ps dark sets and shakey cameras are for high school cheapo film projects-what a hack

  2. I missed the new movie this summer due to my father’s death. I was very excited to purchase the new DVD. OH MY GAWD! What have they done to my beloved Star Trek???? I don’t need or want to see Mr. Spock kissing pooing Uhura!!!! Don’t get me wrong Uhura (especially the original) is a knock out beauty, but I just don’t need to see them kissing and groping on the bridge!
    I guess I am am an old 54 year old man who has watched the original (over and over) for 44 years. They made star Trek a knock off of Star Wars!!! The ship looked terrible, the aliens were stolen from Star Wars and the plot sucked. And they have mysterious stoic mystical Mr. Spock kissy pooing Uhura having Bridge sex! YUCK!!!! It is a terrible movie, bring them back from what ever time-line the producers stuck them in…I want my heros back in “real” Star Trek time!!!!!!

  3. wow. This was a great movie. im not a trekkie but i definitely enjoyed this. as far as all the trekkies who are so against this film for whatever reason i believe you should grow up. this film has introduced millions ofnew fans to the world of star trekt who would have never otherwise been. i believe the reason trekkies dislike this film with a passion is because it was so liked and popular with the majority of all people.trekkies dont want to see ‘their’ franchised be mainstreamed and enjoyed by the rest of society.
    wheres all the morals and good will in bashing someones creative work. its really easy to be a critic. i would like to see more compassion and understanding from you trekkies since that is what you guys preach.
    live long and prosper :)

  4. Whether or not you will like this movie will problably boil down to 1 of 2 things, if you want a movie like the other Trek movies, that offer social commentary and show the future as the way we hope it will be like, you’ll probably hate this movie. If you want a movie that offers non stop mindless action then this is the movie for you. The movie starts off with a bang and with an interesting premise. But I began to suspect something illogical was happening when the villian from the future who comes back to kill Spock realizes that he he is 25 years to early. So what does he do in the 25 years he has to wait for Spock to grow up? Does he go back to Romulus to warn the planet or at least save his family? No, he does nothing at all (must have been a boring 25 year wait). Then as we watch the characters grow up I see that they changed Kirk from an educated, Shakespeare quoting very likable character into a selfish, over the top horny, jerk. I slowly realized that most of the other charcters were just the same. Obviously the film is only geared for 17 year old boys. The final blow was when they destroyed the planet Vulcan and changed the timeline effectively erasing all the Television series and movies that were so full of important social commentary and made us like the charcters so much. its as if everything i knew and liked about the show was a lie and this new reality with plots and charcters dummed down to the level of a teenager is the new future. Thanks, but no thanks.

  5. Batman I’ll bet all of love the new Batmans! If there ever was a story line that got flushed down the toilet, oh yeah no shit. You’d think most ever one here just found out that Star Trek is not a religioun. the more I read the More I know the Nay Sayers didn’t even see the movie. Spock kissing a stranger, you jackass. Did you not pick up on the Sexual enuendos between the 2 or were you too damn busy being a damn Nay Sayer?

  6. All the negatives are rediculous here. First and formost, take off the “ears” for a moment and listen up. The Next Generation took the Trek history way out. SO WHAT? They needed to delv all the way into Enterprise the series to explain the Klingons appearance from the “weevle” episode in the origional. Why so closed minded? The old school Trek, well let us face up to it, you kinda had to be a “dork” to get into it. I say run with it! Is that not the idea behind any sci fi, that you never know, or any thing is possible? StarGate sg1, sux something aweful. There is nothing redeamable about the acting in that. I say to all you hard core Treksters like me, look beyond yourself and have some fun, open your mind and quit being a damn nay-sayer. Trek is Trek…period!
    live long and get with the program!

  7. First off, let me say that the movie overall was entertaining, and there were some good action sequences and some good character moments.
    That said, I have a lot of problems with the film:
    1. I love time travel stories where time travel is used to actually create some issue or conundrum that need to be solved. Here it is used to: A. Give the writers an excuse to ignore any existing Star Trek lore they find inconvenient and B. So Leonard Nimoy can be in the film. It was really a pretty uninspired use of time travel.
    2. One of the things that set Star Trek apart was the fact that it frequently dealt with some intellectual/moral/ethical issue of some sort. It used science fiction to tell stories that applied to today. This movie doesn’t do that at all. Clearly the goal here was to recreate Star Trek to be more like other current-day action movie franchises.
    3. This whole notion that filmmakers have that when they tell an origin story, characters that normally work together must be in conflict is horribly flawed. One of the many things that ruined the “Wild, Wild West,” movie was this business of having West and Artemus Gordon at odds with each other instead of working together as they did in the series. The “Starsky and Hutch” movie, again bad on so many levels, was made even worse by the notion that Starsky and Hutch were not friends, and, in fact, did not like each other at all. And so it was with Kirk and Spock having to be at odds with each other, engaged in a power struggle. Couldn’t the writers have come up with a better story where all these young officers are thrust into a situation and realize the need to band together, but have trouble because they simply don’t know each others strengths and weaknesses?
    4. The Star Trek of Kirk and Spock was a very slick and clean one, not the gritty, dirty future of the “Alien” movies. I bring this up because the scenes in engineering were very jarring. For some reason the bridge was slick, but the scenes in engineering looked like they were shot in an abandoned manufacturing plant. Even the engineering of “Star Trek: Enterprise” looked more modern than this.
    5. Although Zachary Quinto did the best job of looking and behaving like a young Spock, as opposed to simply remaking the character to suit the new franchise, this whole business of him having a relationship with Uhura was right out of left field, totally out of character for Spock of any age and clearly was done just to make Star Trek a more generic action franchise going forward.

  8. The movie was mainstream crap! Another Sci Fi Heaven ruined by a prequel and the drive to fill theatres. I’m just glad Rodenbury isn’t around to see his work ruined by an over-hyped under-thought movie.

    1. your mouth gods ears. if rodenbury was here still this would never have happened he would have taken this script flushed it downt he toilet or set it on fire like it deserves and yelled get out of here and never come back! if you ever wondered what hell would be like for rodenbury this is it. he is looking down at the idiots trashing his world he created. its a sad sad day.

  9. Write Comment here. Before you do, review these rules:
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    Okay, I’m an old Trekkie from the beginning. There were three things I think MADE Star Trek great. (1) High moral values. People didn’t just jump in bed with complete strangers. People tried to be honest (especially SPOCK), struggles with guesses. In this one, he just goes right off the deep end with no hesitation. What happened with all the Vulcan training? (2) Sexual “tension” — Spock was constantly plagued by emotions that he tried to subdue — but in the NEW movie he didn’t even try. He just engaged in casual kissing with a complete stranger. That was not only illogical from a Vulcan perspective, it was downright stupid. It cheapened Ahura, who came across as a whore. In a successful series, there exists a “tension” between potential lovers who are caught in a situation that pulls them together, while at the same time pulls them apart. Like Mulder and Skully in X-Files; Spock and Nurse Chapel in the original Star Trek; etc. etc. All through the series you know there is this sexual tension, but nothing happens, so you tune in again to see what might happen. With this one, they already did it — so the tension is over.

    (3) Fabulous “staging” and “blocking”. Every shot, especially of groups, in the original was carefully thought out and balanced. People didn’t stand in front of each other or look awkward on the set. Just about every shot could be a poster. We’ve lost that in this film.

    BUT… having complained, it was a nice movie. I’d like the producers to go back and separate Ahura and Spock and re-create a sexual tension between them now. “Hey, we kissed, but that was then, now I’m Spock again and I must maintain my Vulcan character. I can’t be having an affair with a subordinate. In fact, since Vucans only mate when they are in certain phases of life, I can’t really do that without slipping back into a human mode. And that would mean that I can’t be as useful to my Captain–I can’t provide the LOGIC that is needed. So we supress the sex– and create wonderful sexual tension.”

    I hope they do that. Then I’ll be a new trekkie.

  10. The characters sold the movie on me. They did a good job of playing the essence of each character under slightly different circumstances. Too those who say “they threw away” the last movies history if so where did they go. I still have my movies at home. I myself will love to see the same crew with a less static history to play with. Trek fans should be able to contemplate an alternate reality concept and you can put this movie in that mind set, to protect the first incarnations story/history/canon whatever. My only gripe was the bridge looked fine, but the rest of the ship looked like a factory. I do not want to work in a factory again even if it is in space.

  11. I was not impressed. I’ve always fantasized about Spock, but this movie spoiled it for me. I like Spock for his lack of emotions and total logic; I guess some think like the bad boy, you want to convert. This movie makes him out to be an idiot. Totally out of control and lacking logic. What’s up with that choice for Kirk???? I’ve always thought that William Shatner was terrible as Kirk, but at least he did his best to try to make him look professional. This guy looks like a bully, who simply lucked out. I knew that according to the original Star Trek, Kirk was something of a bad boy, but I was given the impression that he earned his chair. This movie gives you the impression that he simply beat up enough people that he landed in it. No self control, logic and intelligent to it. Just hit enough faces and whoa la…….

  12. I loved the movie, and I’m a trekker. My 17 year old daughter loved the movie, and she only went so I wouldn’t have to go alone! Sure it wasn’t classic Trek that so many of us are familiar with, but it opens the door for a sequel. I’m sure they’ll find a way to go back and correct the time line. We can’t live in a universe without Vulcan! J.J. Abrams did a fantastic job in my opinion of bringing life back to Star Trek and introducing it to a New Generation. The cast was fantastic and believable. I will go and see it again, and will purchase the DVD when it comes available. Live Long and Prosper.

  13. Although this movie did have significant amount of action. I think it had some flaws as well,such as the flagrant use of the color pink in every scene. The annoying sound effects like “someone banging a pot as phaser fire” and really i wanted to see better space action. Every seen got a close up on some type of gun firing when all i really wanted to see was the ship firing it. Bruce Bana kinda over acted his part as a romulan. I thought romulans where cold ,hard and calculating , which is why the federation couldn’t communicate with them.Bana continuously screamed like a little child which was also rather annoying. All in all it was a decent movie but because of all the annoyances i will not be giving this movie a good review.Besides, i go to the movies to get away from the wife and kids.I don’t want to be screamed at by a grown man acting like a baby.

  14. That movie was GREAT! The whole theatre loved it and it was packed baby! I came home and sent out my tweets, lol. Even got a background of star trek at http://tweetcustom.com that looks nice on my profile page. I hope yall liked it, cus I know i will be owning a copy on DVD ;)

  15. I personally loved the new movie. Being fan of only the Original Series and some Next Generation, this is kinda saying a lot. You want to know why I liked it? I relaxed and enjoyed a great movie. Plus I never had to worry about continuity, since they set the whole story in a alternate reality.

    Anyone who makes up crap about how this movie is a corporate sellout is honestly just trying too hard. THIS MOVIE HAD IT ALL. vulcan mind-melds,starfleet honor, phaser battles,space battles, hand to hand combat, and funny one liners (WHICH WERE A HALLMARK OF TOS). And while not selling out and being overtly sexual (the movie was rated PG-13), there were cute girls and a little innuendo. And let me remind you “die hard trekkies” that Uhura and other female crew members did not wear any modest clothes in any snese of the word.

    J.J Abrams created a great addition to the star trek universe and obviously was a fan as well.

  16. Saw the movie tonight and have a few words about it. Great production, Great editing, great action, and great effects. However, It is NOT A STAR TREK MOVIE in any sense. It literally throws the history of Star Trek to the wind and says we’re rewriting it all, and too bad to anyone who believed in the ideals that were so popular about the “cornball” tv series and movies (quote from Paramount Pictures). It is a look back in time to the past but the movie decided to heck with that, let’s rewrite it all. From reports most fans feel the same way, what we liked most about Star Trek was not in this movie and in fact was mocked by the producers, actors, studio, and director. They took their coveted hollywood money formula of Young actors + Lots of action + Sex + Funny one-liners + and twists beyond reason = money to a new depth of hell with the release of this garbage. The culture and ideals upheld during the entire Star Trek phenomena gave it a huge following despite bad effects, sometimes bad acting, and lack of younglings. Why depart from the proven winning formula??? Quick bucks from a bunch of people who don’t have the patience to make more over time and rather get a smaller quicker sum immediately and to heck with all reason, fun, the future, the past, and most of all to heck with all those fans.

    This movie cannot be linked into the history of Star Trek because it rewrote it all so badly that none of it makes sense. I.E. an entire crew of cadets takes over a starship???? A graduating cadet is promoted to Captain instantaeously upon graduation??? Not to mention he’s jumping all those in Starfleet ahead of him. Since when did Starfleet Academy only pump out Captains? What happened to Ensigns, Leutenants, Commanders etc. etc etc. Quick satisfaction of these producers shows directly in the film, hey they don’t care as long as they get paid this time even as they are destroying the potential to continue making money from future Star Trek movies or television series.

    Shame on you all for this movie! Shame on Mabel for allowing this outrage and tragedy! Shame on JJ! Shame on Paramount! I know I will not buy this DVD and I will never go to another Trek movie unless the rights are sold to someone who understands Star Trek and why it “WAS” popular.

    I would actually recommend all Trekkies to see this movie because if you don’t you will wonder about it. After you do, you won’t waste time wondering and won’t waste money for any future garbage either. Star Trek has been foreclosed on by corporate thieves bent on selling it off piece by piece.

    Thank you Gene Roddenberry for creating such a wonderful distraction. Shame on the new guys for destroying it!

    1. For the love of God, I know there’s no pleasing everybody, but I saw this last night at IMAX at 1am and it was sold out. I’m as big a ST fan as any, but come on people, just be thankful you are part of the most successful and prolific movie AND tv franchise in history.
      Sure I found stuff in variance with classic ST lore, but SO WHAT? The movie very neatly used a plot point to explain, why some things were different – exactly to pay homage to the traditions.
      The purists who quibble over “not trekkie enough” or daring to waver from “God Gene’s” divine vision, are, ironically, too inflexible to expand their minds, even as ST expands the universe for us.
      Chill out. Lighten up. Have some fun. Oh and grow up finally. You guys probably still shun CD’s for vinyl records.
      BTW, some guy showed up in full Darth Vader attire, including light saber – boy did he hear it.

    2. I have to agree with Lil. The new movie was well-made, but in one swoop the producers wiped out numerous star trek movies and series, as well as numerous books, and who knows what else. The pre-existing star trek was more along the lines of intellectual stimulation, with action, character development and complexities, and meaning mixed in. The new film just goes with fast-paced action. Sure, that will appeal to lots of people for a while, until they want something new. The old Star Trek had lasting power. The new one will excite people for a while, until something better comes along to snatch away our attention.

      Restarting films such as Superman or Batman is one thing. In those films, there was a big variety in how they had been handled in the past in films, commics, books, etc. There wasn’t necessarily consistency througout all of it. Star Trek was different–it had a consistent plot, themes, etc. that fans loved. Now, Abrams and others have wiped all that out, said to heck with all of that, and made a “fast-food” version of Star Trek for “quick consumption.”

      Everything else is gone now–the new Star Trek is an alternate timeline to all of the other films. When it was advertised, the marketing said the new film would show Kirk and Spock in their early days. What they didn’t tell us was that those early days would actually be an alternate timeline that was created because someone traveled through time, killed Kirk’s father, Spock’s mother, and the planet of Vulcan, not to mention many other things. Sure, it shows the early days of Kirk and Spock, but they aren’t the same characters everyone has known for years–now they are “altered characters” living in a different timeline.

      The new movie should appeal to the fast-food culture, that likes lots of action to keep their attention, and avoids complex plots and character interactions. But that isn’t what the old Star Trek fans really want. They want complexity, not fast-food.

    3. god where to begin… so many thing wrong and just plain bad……. less than 10 min into the movie we drive over and throw away everything start trek has stayed consistant with. second john sho as sulu good god he doesnt know why the ship isnt moving. maybe in the next one if there is he can not realize that the ship is going in reverse not forwar. please if there ar more movies send him back to harold and kumar land where he belongs. third anton yelchin as chekov a helmsman that right out of the acadamy is the superstar at transporters something he never did in later life in the series/movies. fourth karl urban a tall macho actor playing one of the shorter more nonmacho characters and then not even bring out his true phobia and hate “transporter” no lets instead say he has a phobia of getting space diseases. fifth zachary quinto spock who never act on a love interest in the series of movies except tpring his wife or nurse chapel in the naked now or the one with the plant spores that let him feel his emotions (cant remember the name of that show its the one where its just kirk and spock on the ship and kirk pisses spock off to break the effect of the spores) so instead spock in this movie is all the sudden dan juan of star fleet… hmmmmm oh i remember now that was kirk in the series. i think the best thing that could happen for any future series for tv or movie whoever directs or wrists it should have to watch all of the series that have been on and all the movies to get the background right then watch this new one last as an example of what not to do

    4. oh sorry i almsot forgot. i guess me trying to block it out is finally working. sixth winona ryder (poster child of shoplifters are us as spocks mother. what were the people that were in charge of casting thinking. my god save yourselves now flush what ever drugs or booze you might have been smoking, swallowing, shooting up, snorting, and or drinking cause you should realize its bad and tainted to cause you to pick winona ryder to play spocks mother. good god what a HUGE mistake! she couldnt have done a worse job playing the part is she tried to make it worse and they gave her a billion takes to try it!

  17. You have to be kidding me – as an OG trekie – I am first in line at the IMAX for this reboot. Way to go and others lighten up – yea!?

  18. Well this movie is definitly a diffrent style of film. On one hand the action looks exciting but on the other hand it has a MTV generation feel to it. Im at odds end with the film so Ill just leave it at that. This video was really funny I love the thick scarcasim.

  19. At first when I read the title I assumed that Star Trek fans were even dumber then I had imagined. But then finding out it was done by the onion made me laugh my ass off.
    My personal favorite part was when she talks about how it’s a delightful action adventure movie and sure a sure hit, and then the guys just says “no wonder the fans feel betrayed here”

  20. I absolutely can’t stand anything Star Trek, everything is so stupid. That said I’m looking foward to this because it is looking way cooler then all the other Star Trek anythings.

    1. I saw this tonight – I have never watched a Star Trek episode (i was worried about the dork factor), and I thought it was one of the best movies I have ever seen.

      Very well done. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

  21. This is my main concern about the moive. It maybe a good movie, it looks like it’ll turn out that way, but will it be a star trek movie? I have my doubts…

  22. I’m sick of hearing that old school trekkies are dissing this film or picking it apart etc. I’ve heard that some people had reservations and worries about the movie leading up to it’s release, but so far I’ve heard overwhelmingly positive things from nearly everyone, including old school trekkies. The consensus seems to be that the new film is a very needed reboot to a dying franchise. All this shit about trekkies being pissed over canon is mostly overblown from people repeating what they’ve read all over the net.

  23. Gotta love the Onion. As funny as that was, and it was pretty goddamn funny, the sad part is that there probably are some lod school trekkies out there that really do feel that way. Sad.

    1. The movie sucked ass? When you say movie do you mean Star Trek?

      Because last time I checked it has a 100% on Rotten tomatoes and is shaping up to be the hands down best movie this summer, possibly year!

    2. Does anyone ever watch the movie? Maybe I’m an old stick-in-the-mud Trekker or Trekkie or whatever the hell it is that we’re called, but the “reboot” as someone put it up above simply says everything else that was great about the original series NEVER happened. Poof! Lots of the shows and other movies had big plot holes so I don’t spend too much time on the ones in this show, but time travel is common place in Star Trek. So, when the planet Vulcan is destroyed and the civilization lost, time traveling Spock shrugs his shoulder and says, ‘Wow. That’s too bad.’ So, I guess in five or ten years when this crowd is too old they can start over again. I know this is only a show, but it did have a particular message of hope and inspiration and for me, this feels like it is completely sacrificed on the altar of new profits. That’s the movie biz, but I don’t have to like it.

  24. Write Comment here. Before you do, review these rules:
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    Hilarious!

    People realize this is satire, right?

  25. I never heard any Watchmen fans say Watchmen was TOO entertaining. Dang, fans will just find anything and everything to pick apart THEIR movie…THEIRS. I’m not a Trekkie and I’m really looking forward to it

  26. Too entertaining? How can something be TOO entertaining. Look, I understand the Trekkies feel like Star Trek does belong to them, but this is basically a reboot

    1. Only two Star Trek movies were bombs at the box office. The Final Frontier and Nemesis were failures at the box office. The rest were successful, while not blockbusters with the exception of one domestically (The Voyage Home) each of them made a profit.

    1. I missed the new movie this summer due to my father’s death. I was very excited to purchase the new DVD. OH MY GAWD! What have they done to my beloved Star Trek???? I don’t need or want to see Mr. Spock kissing pooing Uhura!!!! Don’t get me wrong Uhura (especially the original) is a knock out beauty, but I just don’t need to see them kissing and groping on the bridge!
      I guess I am am an old 54 year old man who has watched the original (over and over and over) for 44 years. They made star Trek a knock off of Star Wars!!! The ship looked terrible, the aliens were stolen from Star Wars and the plot sucked. And they have mysterious stoic mystical Mr. Spock kissy pooing Uhura having Bridge sex! YUCK!!!! It is a terrible movie, bring them back from what ever time-line the producers stuck them in…I want my heros back in “real” Star Trek time!!!!!!

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