I have been hearing about ‘Simon Says’ for actually a couple of years now, and because of that I was very curious about checking this one out at the festival. The movie is about a group of five teenagers who unfortunately take the advice of two psychotic twins (both played by Crispin Glover) and end up on a campsite and become prey to the twins (Simon and Stanley) who like to play a deadly game of “Simon Says.” If you don’t say ‘Simon Says,’ you DIE! So is this a good horror movie? Serena says, “HELL NO!”
THE GOOD
The film is full of the most creative and inventive kills I have seen in a long time. In fact, when the horror begins, it actually made me (and most of the audience) jump in surprise, due to the fact no one expected such well done jumpers and gore effects for such a laughable slasher flick. (Gotta love that doomed pooch kill!)
The sound and score was sharp during the kill sequences, and had especially well done CGI effects for a trap involving flying pick axes. This is what made the film a much better experience than anticipated.
THE BAD
I can’t decipher whether the screenwriter of this script was incredibly lazy or that he thought the audience for this film would be incredibly stupid. The characters in this film are completely one note, and make actors in really bad 80’s slashers look like true thespians. We get the stoner, the jock, the slut, the prude, and the survivor girl. All the dialogue was laughable, the so-called plot twist was extremely obvious from the first 15 minutes, and I couldn’t wait until Simon or Stanley took each of them out in the order I and the rest of the audience predicted.
While watching Crispin Glover onscreen in this horribly bad horror film, I had the sudden urge to jump in the screen, pull him out, and put him in a headlock “Biff-style” and shout out, “THINK, McFLY, THINK!” For a man who turned down appearing in‘Back to the Future Part 2’ because it wasn’t deep enough, and only appeared in the ‘Charlie’s Angels’ movies to get the money to finance his own film, I could only imagine what the filmmakers had on him to appear in this low-budget horror film that made me appreciate the ‘Friday the 13th’ sequels a lot more.
Crispin Glover played the twins way over the top. He played Stanley with a ridiculous Southern accent, and he played Simon with a voice that sounded exactly like the old pervert in the ‘Family Guy’ series. Although it was painful to watch such a popular cult favorite actor subject himself to such a project, he still was the most amusing part of the film.
OVERALL
Despite having a lot of embarrassing moments in the film, ‘Simon Says’ surprising still made for an entertaining watch. (I still can’t believe the man responsible for ‘Harry and the Hendersons’ and ‘Angels in the Outfield’ was also responsible for this!) Simon says watch this movie with your friends. Simon says bring your flask. Simon says prepare yourself for tons of laughter. This is a great horror movie. Wait! I didn’t say ‘Simon Says.’ ;) I give this film a rating of 4 out of 10.
