Another Reason Canada Is Awesome – No Witless Protection

Witless-Protection-CanadaWithout a doubt my worst film going experience in the last 3 years is when I had to go and watch the new Paris Hilton movie “The Hottie and the Nottie”. The film was beyond bad, and for only the 3rd time in my limited career I gave a movie a 0 our of 10. Yes, it really was that bad. The 23 of you out there who actually went to see it know what I mean.

However, as bad as that garbage was… it wasn’t the worst experience I had in the theater that day. You see, before the movie started, a trailer came on screen that was without question one of the worst I’ve ever seen. Its almost as if the trailer was a commercial for “The Lose All Hope In Cinema Foundation”. Yes, before Hottie and the Nottie, I had to endure the trailer for “Witless Protection“.

Now let me say this. I think Larry the Cable Guy is one hell of a stand up comedian. I really do. Having said that, this man has no business being in the movies or having half baked script force written around him. Witless Protection will be no exception. This movie smells like 7 different flavors of shit downwind from a tire fire in August.

But there is good news! If you live in Canada, rejoice and be glad for I bring you joyous news that shall be for all the people. No screens in Canada will be wasted on this movie! Our buddy Michael over at MoviesOnline gives us this:

WitLess Protection may be getting an American theatrical run but the lowly canucks, me included will have to wait for it on DVD. Word comes today from Maple Pictures that the film will not get a theatrical run in Canada.

Watching that trailer really does make me feel like I’m living in some sort of twilight zone. Because you know they’re only making it because there are some people out there who will actually watch this. In a world where Meet The Spartans comes in at #1 at the box office, anything is possible.

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