John Reviews Snakes On A Plane

John gives his quick 2 minute review of Snakes on a Plane.

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27 thoughts on “John Reviews Snakes On A Plane

  1. I just watched the video review. I don’t get this guy. How can you go on and on for 2 minutes saying how bad the movie sucked and it still manage to rank 7 out of 10. Admittedly, I am paraphrasing.. so you nitpickers settle down out there.

    I haven’t seen the movie so I can’t judge the score.. but I do judge the scale. If a movie really sucks, and it gets a 7, it makes me not want to trust the opinion of the reviewer.

    Just my two cents.

  2. Actually, I walked into the office this morning and when anybody said how was your weekend I replied “It sucked, but I got to see Snakes on a Plane so it worked out in the end.”

    I then proceeded to reccomend it to them all.

    Everybody is saying it had a horrible cheese factor, but as somebody who suffered through Underworld:Evolution this week, I think Snakes on a Plane was a cut above the usual.

  3. The real truth of the matter IS that the Marketing backfired in the sense that it was WAY OVER THE TOP. Ultimately people rejected not cause they DIDn’T want to see the movie .. But because they new everybody else would either what to see it. and not go . Or they didn’t care to add to the Unreal hype the movie have gained. the fact that it’s tanking is not a surprise at all.. At best this is a direct to dvd release. Hardly a feature. I’m not saying it’s not feature film. Just not a very good one. And the third reason is people expect movie’s to be smarter and funnier then a lame joke. and as fun as snakes on a plane my be as a movie. I think ( by in large ) most people stay away because of it’s Unreal CHEESE factor and the fact that they don’t want to appear in the office on monday saying. I saw Snakes on a plane over the weekend .. what did you do ?

  4. I really liked Snakes on a mother fucking plane. I expected more cheesiness to it and more over the top snake action. There was a kickboxer dude in it and I expected him to do some sort of spinning back kick to a snake, also it would have been great if Sam Jackson started punching a snake in it’s face.

  5. And by the way…SPOILER….kudos to the filmmakers for not letting the damn dog survive!!! Whooo I cheered when that fucker bit the dust.

  6. I really have to say that I hope that the DVD contains an audio track of audience reactions to the movie, like they did with Sin City. I cannot imagine watching this at home by myself. I saw this last night with my sister and a bunch of friends, and the theater was about 3/4 full. It was the greatest theater experience I’ve ever had. NO BULLSHIT. People were whooping and screaming and laughing their asses off. Hell, when the title cam up, people busted out laughing. And man oh man, when THAT LINE came up, the whole place screamed it aloud in unison. I usually hate when people talk to the screen, but I have the thank the fuckers who went to the 9:40 screening last night for tearing the house down. Well done guys.

  7. I LOVED THAT FUCKIN’ MOVIE!

    I was expecting it to be a fun, crappy movie. IT wasn’t crappy, but it was cheesey, and they did a good job with it. Forget logic, classic, etc. This movie is what the title says, “Snakes on a Plane”!

    I remember when I left the theater, the line outside was getting bigger!

    Aw, man! I buying this on DVD! Sure, we will have a BIG blockbuster showdown next year. Until then, this movie needs an award!

  8. Anyone who walks out of the theatre after seeing Snakes on a Plane unhappy really needs to take some kind of antidepressant. I have NEVER EVER had more fun in a movie theatre than I did last night seeing SOAP. I was in a half-filled theatre in NY at a 7:30 showing of the movie, by the end of the flick you would have SWORN it was a full house, that’s how loud we were!

    Sure the movie is pure cheese, with the slow-mo bike shots in the beginning to the surfing at the end, it acknowledges it. But this movie can’t really be held up to the same critical standards as a typical film. Hell I dont even want to associate the word FILM with this. This is a FLICK, pure and simple. Reviewing this film, and calling it ridiculous as though its a bad thing, is simply missing the point of the movie. This movie from the time that Sam Jackson demanded that the title stay “snakes on a plane” has been DESIGNED to be cheese. Sure originally the plot was taken from a serious screenplay that was adapted to make this movie. And sure it was originally made to be more or less standard. But once the studio figured it out, they went back and did weeks of reshoots just to amp up the cheese level, gore, and nudity to make the film worthy of its title. Did they succeed? HELL FUCKING YES.

    I havent had that much fun in a theatre ever, in a far second to this, was Shawn of the Dead, but this had much more audience participation. I love the fact that the audienced winced at every kill, laughed at every movie cliche, and all chanted the immortal Sam Jackson line at the same time. I was surprised to see John give this such a comparatively low score. After seeing it was expecting at least an 8. And hopefully a Routh. Perhaps you’re screening was more empty? Seeing this movie without the right crowd could really ruin the experience. Normally I hate shouting and annoyances in theaters, but this movie REQUIRES it. If you’re watching it with a group of people who will cheer this movie on, yell and scream, and recite the lines with you. It improves the viewing IMMENSELY!

    Seriously, one of the best popcorn summer flicks in HISTORY. Sure, you have to check all sense of logic and intelligence at the door, but if you went into Snakes on a Plane without knowing that. Something’s wrong.

    I mean, I love an artfully created drama like American Beauty, Road to Perdition, Schindler’s List, Munich, etc. just as much as anyone. But seriously this is the most fun ive ever seen put to celluloid. You can tell EVERY single cast member had an absolute BLAST shooting this movie, and that infectious sense of fun and ridiculousness bleeds into the audience, and elicits quite a reaction.

    So in closing. Thank you Sam Jackson for insisting on the title, and thank you to the cast and crew for creating the most artfully created piece of cheese in history. I cant wait to bring my future kids to a midnight screening one day in 20 years all dressed up as snakes, or sam jackson.

  9. Why is everybody insisting that this movie is so terrible it’s good? What exactly high standards are we holding it to?

    Let’s consider some other movies that have been talked about this summer: Underworld Evolution, Little Man, and The Covenant. How can we say that Snakes on a Plane is bad when things like those exist?

    The only parts I found really unncessary and terrible were those that were obviously added only to make the movie R-rated. Otherwise it was a fun, action/creature flick. We haven’t had one of those in years except as Sci-Fi pictures originals.

    Honestly, this was so far above a Sci-Fi original that I can’t imagine why people keep insulting it. Is it because they’re afraid to admit that they actually thought parts of it were GOOD since it’s supposed to be a “dumb movie?”

    I have a degree in film, I’ve studied all kinds of high art and legendary films. I enjoyed this a hell of a lot more than those, and I think the acting was just as good.

  10. I just saw the film, and it was THE GREATEST ****IN’ PIECE OF SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN! Screw 5-Stars; it’s 5-CHEESE!

    BTW, A LOT of PS2 fans are going to be EXTREMELY HAPPY!

    XD

  11. Small world indeed! My appartment is very near that theater. I was reflecting on other movies that I was a little embarassed to enjoy: Starship Troopers and Rumble in the Bronx come to mind. Any other ones you guys can think of?

  12. I saw at the AMC Theater in Newport, KY last night..and damn, people were going crazy..it was kinda annoying actually! The movie was JUST OK, and people were clapping at stupid stuff and laughing at the most forward of moments, stuff that was neither funny nor supposed to be funny..literally Sam could have said ‘hello’ to someone and these people would have laughed.

    But seriously, I actually ended up seeing this twice, and after the first showing, I posted a review up on myspace, and gave it a C, citing it is as stupid but entertaining. After the second showing, it’s not even entertaining. It’s just kinda stupid. Without giving it away for anybody, the last 15 minutes are completely stupid…and for some reason, I felt a complete lack of snakes in the last act, and their menace just disappeared.

  13. i loved it. but i have to admit that half of the fun was seeing it with an enthusiastic audience. i can’t imagine watching this by myself on DVD, or a few weeks from now in a sparsely-populated theatre.

  14. In any case, it looks like that Thursday late night screening caught New Line by surprise:

    Off the WENN/IMDB:

    “Critics finally were given a chance to see Snakes on a Plane Thursday night and many of them stayed up late afterwards to knock out their reviews. Most succeeded only in posting them on their respective papers’ websites, but some also were able to speed them out fast enough to get them in print, many of the reviews tagged with the word “Exclusive!” above the headline. New Line, the studio releasing the movie, is likely to be stunned by the initial reception, which has been highly positive for the most part.

    Paraphrasing the unprintable catchphrase in the movie, Christopher Borelli wrote in the Toledo Blade: “I just got back from ^&$# seeing those &%[email protected] snakes on that ^*#@ plane, and let me tell you something, ^%#[email protected] – it’s kinda fun.” Kyle Smith in the New York Post opined that the film is “horribly good” — an old-fashioned good Bad Movie. “The film failed to be frightening, suspenseful or dramatic but accidentally succeeded in being absolutely hilarious,” Smith wrote.

    Peter Howell in the Toronto Star observed that since all the hype over the movie began spreading on the Internet, moviegoers have been waiting to see whether Snakes on a Plane would “suck.” Howell commented, “The coils were finally loosened late last night, and the venomous verdict — wait for it — is that Snakes really does suck. It also hisses, bites, chokes, terrifies and amuses far more than anyone had any reason to hope or even suspect. You wanted snakes on a muthalovin’ plane, baby — and why go if you didn’t? — and you got ’em.”

    Sean P. Means in the Salt Lake Tribune came to the same conclusion — that it delivers what the audience expects. Wrote Means: “It’s a movie that knows what it is, and is quite content to play within those parameters. You don’t come to a movie with such a matter-of-fact title and expect Shakespearean brilliance.” And Richard Roeper in the Chicago Sun-Times ticked off several over-the-top lines from the film, then summed up: “Now that’s what I call your campy entertainment.”

    ********

    Bah! Who cares what the critics say. New Line got lucky, but y’know, they have no beeswax to quote those critics (even though some of them will be quoted) because of the no advance screeening.

    ;)

  15. Gotta agree with you for the most part… although I guilty of loving the movie hands down… sometimes the best kind of cinema is the kind where you need no brain!

    Oh and John you love the word “however” don’t you… its all good though HAHA!

  16. Same feeling as I had. I would perceive that you are (just like me) a little embarassed to have liked it because it’s so weak on so many levels but hearing legions of fans making the SSSSSssssssSSSSSSsssss noises in the theater just made you realize that something special was going on… Something that ties into why you love doing what you do on a daily basis with this blog. I was at the 10:00pm screening at the SilverCity – Eglinton and Yonge – in Toronto last night. The energy in the theater was beyond description. One guy got angry and started yelling at people to shut up several times. What a night!

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