Tom Cruise In Talks For Mission Impossible 4

TomcruiseIt looks like Mr. Cruise is being courted to star in another Mission Impossible film. We get this scoop from the professionals at Variety:

Sumner Redstone said Tuesday he has no objection to Tom Cruise starring in the next installment of the “Mission: Impossible” franchise. The Viacom boss made the comment after speaking at the Seoul Digital Forum in the South Korean capital.

Redstone ended Paramount’s 14-year relationship with Cruise and his producing partner Paula Wagner in August 2006 and publicly criticized the actor’s behavior. However, Cruise is now in talks with Paramount to star in a fourth “Mission: Impossible” film.

Money has a way of settling disputes. The chosen son of Xenu has been in the news recently for his insane blathering on an in-house Scientology motivational film. His German drama Valkyrie has been pushed back, and many are wondering if the star’s antics will allow him to remain in the A list much longer. I suppose another Mission Impossible film would be the best test for that hypothesis.

Tom Cruise is bent on controlling the earth with the power of the great Xenu. The thousand tentacles of the deity stretch far and wide through Tom Cruise’s influence. It is foretold that one day the great Xenu himself will birth from Cruise’s vagina-esque belly button. Xenu in human form looks like a young Burt Reynols, with a serpent head. Like Serpentor, but way cooler.

They should call this film Mission Impossible 4: Tom Gets His Wits About Him

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