Welcome to The Dating/Movie Blog! Although I’ve never been really popular with the ladies(I think dating me is officially listed with the government as “Charity Work”), I have always liked making a film a part of a first date.
Now, notice that I said that a movie should be PART of a first date. Not the beginning and end of a date.
Some people think that a film is sort of a boring way to spend a date. After all, you’re just sitting quietly in a theater not really interacting right? Well… yes and no. Here are my five points to sweet goodnight kiss success:
1. Here’s how I like to do it. I like first meeting my date at the movie theater about 25 minutes before the show starts. That way, you go in and get your choice of seats (make sure you let her choose the seats). Right there you’ve got about 15 minutes of time to just relax and chat a little. The nice thing here is that there isn’t any pressure to have a good long conversation yet. You’ve got a few minutes to make nice small chat before the movie starts.
2. This is also a good opportunity for you to run to the concession stand. DO THIS AFTER GETTING YOUR SEATS! It show that you’re considerate and don’t want to make her stand in line at the stand. Make sure to ask what she wants. If she says “nothing”… she’s being a polite liar. Get a large popcorn because you KNOW she’ll share. If she doesn’t ask for anything to drink…play it safe and grab her a bottled water anyway. Tell her “I thought I’d grab this just in case since I was out there anyway”. Oh yes grasshopper… you are well on your way to a goodnight kiss.
3. Now, whenever I see a great or horrible movie, I always remember who I saw it with. Shared experiences are really great (good or bad). Throughout the movie (if it’s a comedy) you’ll end up turning to one another and laughing together, or (if a horror) screaming together (if you’re a sissy man), or what ever. It’s a simple shared experience. Any shared experience is a good thing on a first date (except for a car accident… that would be bad and counter productive to the whole “goodnight kiss” objective).
4. This part is key… make sure that when the movie is over the night ISN’T over. Pre-plan to hit a local bar or restaurant right after the show to grab a small bite or a drink. Now you can begin having better conversation… and if either of you aren’t good at getting the ball rolling, then you can always start with talking about the film. This is a great ice breaker and can get you both loosened up. Don’t make the mistake of quietly walking out of the theater and saying “well…goodnight!”. All that does is leave you with a lonely rest of the evening and your date wondering why she didn’t go out with me instead.
5. Optionally have a third part of the evening planned (like bowling, a nice walk, a club, whatever).
The principle here is that a movie is a good, low pressure way to start the evening, get the ball rolling and share a simple experience together before moving on with your evening.
So what do you think? Am I a genius? Am I full of crap? What would you add to my “Steps to goodnight kiss success” recipe?
hey…you said you wanted girl input and here it is! you sound like a sweet guy, and you’re method is great! another little hint….if you’re date is leaning into you or snuggling close, run your fingers very lightly and casually up and down her arm. do not go past her elbow, and ESPECIALLY do not pass her shoulder or she will think you are going for the grope.
Richard said: “Oh, and be yourself….”
Absolutely the number one dating tip of all time. Unless you are looking for a whole series of failed dates.
Worst movie date decisions –
High school – a girl I really liked, finally agreed to go out with me, she said she liked fantasy so not doing my homework I took her to “Sorcerer” (1977 Roy Scheider).
While in Hawaii I took a date to see “Jaws” the afternoon before she was scheduled to take a night time boat ride with her parents.
An old friend calls me in college, says she’s had a bad day and asks if I’d take her to a movie. Knowing she’s a Steven King fan I took her to “Christine”. Her bad day that she was trying to forget – driving to work that morning a pedestrian stepped out in front of her car and was killed.
Six years ago on first night out together, alone, in over a year my dear wife wanted to see something funny on Valentines Day, I didn’t do my homework and took her to see “Message in a Bottle.”
So I highly recommend movies as date starters. But start the movie experience with one question: “Anything in particular you’d like to, or not like to see?”
Richard said: “Oh, and be yourself….”
Absolutely the number one dating tip of all time. Unless you are looking for a whole series of failed dates.
Worst move date decisions –
High school – a girl I really liked, finally agreed to go out with me, she said she liked fantasy so not doing my homework I took her to “Sorcerer” (1977 Roy Scheider).
While in Hawaii I took a date to see “Jaws” the afternoon before she was scheduled to take a night time boat ride with her parents.
An old friend calls me in college, says she’s had a bad day and asks if I’d take her to a movie. Knowing she’s a Steven King fan I took her to “Christine”. Her bad day that she was trying to forget – driving to work that morning a pedestrian stepped out in front of her car and was killed.
Six years ago on first night out together, alone, in over a year my dear wife wanted to see something funny on Valentines Day, I didn’t do my homework and took her to see “Message in a Bottle.”
So I highly recommend movies as date starters. But start the movie experience with one question: “Anything in particular you’d like to, or not like to see?”
Diversity in the relationship is a fine thing, if you both like the same things you’ll be bored quick and you’ll miss “your space”.
My girlfriend and I definitely have different movie tastes, it allows me to go off to the cinema room and watch the latest rental that she doesn’t like…or watch a commentary – she hates them – while I do the ironing!
On the date, it’s better if it’s something not safely in either of your really like areas, that should promote some discussion, so don’t play it too safe.
Oh, and be yourself. Relax and smile a lot and laugh at her jokes.
Funny story, my wife and I, before we were dating….the first movie we saw together (as friends) was House of Illusions (bad Clive Barker film)…First Date movie “Se7en”…I don’t know how the relationship survived….We somehow managed to get past some of the rockier moments in cinema-going (She recommended we see “The Scarlet Letter” (Demi Moore/Gary Oldman stink-o-rama) the same day that “The Usual Suspects” opened…Cinema tastes have gotten polarized over the past decade, while the relationship has gotten quite strong (reverse correlation?)…The only things we have both agreed on in the past couple years have been Sin City (both loved it), I Heart Huckabee’s (both loved it) A.I. (both hated it), City of God (both loved it) The Ring (both loved the american version over the Japanese…weird…as foreign remakes usually suck!), Kung-Fu Hustle (both loved it) and The Incredibles (both loved it)
I’ve been watching mainly arty foreign stuff (Korean/Japanese mainly)…she has been watching mainly Cheesy Popcorn Flicks…Occassionally we meet in the middle somewhere…
Rich says, “I’m dumping the girlfriend and getting a flight right now!” LOL
Where to??? *laughs*
Where are the ladies of The Movie Blog, we need your input here girls! *winks*
I dont mean to sound like an elitist but I find it a big turn off if a guy I really like remotely enjoys the films I prefer, I mean he is trying to get a date with me right, so impress me. If shall we say, he made the mistake of watching this film which was no good at all, its not the end of the night, he still has another chance to redeem himself. What I find helpful especially if I know that for the majority of the night we will be discussing films we’ve seen in general, I just have to ask him his Top 10 films for all time, and if not even half to it I also like, then there is no future in the relationship, oh and yes, not even a goodbye kiss.
Lmao, wow… I usually bring her to my place and get the balls rolling asap…but that’s the reason I can’t hold ar elationship more then three years. mmm
I’m dumping the girlfriend and getting a flight right now!
I agree with John & its sound advice :)
I don’t think you need to love the same movies though, depends a bit on what you are like.
Eg; I am a vegetarian as is my father.
The difference between us is he tries his hardest to convince the world to be like him, while I feel its for the individual to decide.
What I’m saying is as long as you can appreciate what goes into a film it shouldn’t matter too much wether you liked the whole product. You’d still have an expert critique perspective to discuss. The good & bad points, the technicalities of shots, the cliche’s etc etc .. Obviously this only works if the duo are both cine-mad movie lovers like us bunch that hangout here. :D
I made the mistake of seeing Sin City with a girl who gets grossed out extremely easily.
Self-explanatory.
Anyway, very good advice John.
Just a question.
Will your prospective dates choice of films affect what you feel about them? I mean, do they necessarily have to be watching the same films you also enjoy watching, cause what if they dont, and they actually love watching the films you swear you will never ever watch?
I’m glad I’m finally making a post, for how long I have visited this site.
I think you’ve covered it all for a night at the movies plus extras! good post.
-Alex
Hey Tom.
Excllent Excellent Excellent advice! Do choose the movie carefully!
one thing you should maybe add in is…. ‘Choose your movie carefully’ A friend of mine took a girl on a first date to see ‘black-hawk down’, ah yes a film about the brutality and pointless-ness of war, full of very sad scenes and lots of people getting killed. ‘war-porn’ as my friend described it
needless to say, she walked out after after 45 minutes crying, end of date.
My friend isn’t stupid but just hadn’t really even considered the fact he was going to be there with someone else, he just bought tickets for something he wanted to see.
I can say it out loud now, John, please ask me out!!!! As in right now! LOL
I agree with all of the above, wouldnt it be great if your date has actually thought all this things through. I hope if a guy asks me out he is truly a film fan because I dont want to be just the one making conversations discussing the film. And I am really impressed with a guy who knows his films, so yes, dose yourself up with stuff from TMB and you will be in my little red book for sure. *winks*
John, is this portion actually in your not yet released book? Its great advice.