The 8 Things I’m Sick Of Seeing In Movies
Cliches… Formulas… whatever terminology you like to call them by, there are certain repeated patterns in films that we’ve all seen a thousands times. Some of those Formulas are fine. For example, the mom who loves her kids… that’s not a stretch and we expect it in normal life, so we expect no less in a movie. However, there are other formulas in films that would have you and I believe they are the norm in real life… when they really aren’t. These can be fine too and not irritate us… but then there are these cliches that I really get sick off and wish more films would avoid.
So now I present to you, in no particular order, the 8 things I’m sick of seeing in movies:
1 - The current boyfriend/husband of the main character’s would be love interest is a total jerk
THE CLICHE: You know what I’m talking about. The “hero” of the film loves a girl, but the girl has a boyfriend. Already you know there is a 97% chance that this boyfriend will end up being a total dick. He yells at her, demeans her, doesn’t respect her. You can’t imagine why on earth she’s with him in the first place… but whatever the reason it doesn’t matter, because you know she’s going to end up with the hero in the end anyway when she finally sees the jerk in question for what he is, and leaves him for the hero.
THE REALITY: Yeah, that girl you dig… well her boyfriend 9 times out of 10 is better looking, funnier, smarter, richer and all round a better person that you… loser.
2 - If a fight breaks out in a bar/restaurnt, EVERYONE will jump in
THE CLICHE: Almost without exception, if two people start fighting in a bar or restaurant in a movie, everyone else will join in. Hell, they’ll start swinging at each other for no good reason other than the fact that a couple of other guys seem to be doing. Chalk it up to bar peer pressure I guess.
THE REALITY: I’ve seen my fair share of fights break out at clubs/bars. Not once have I ever seen it get beyond a couple of people before the bouncers end up kicking their drunk asses than throwing them the hell out
3 - No spunk after the hump
THE CLICHE: Ok, I don’t mean to sound vulgar or anything (I usually leave that to Doug) but we’ve all seen this a hundred times in movies and we all collectively say under our breath “yeah right”. A couple at some sort of public function or fancy dinner quickly ducks behind a wall, or into another room for a quicky. They go at it practically fully clothed and when they’re “done” they just take a couple of deep breaths, run their fingers through their hair and then return to join the other guests as if nothing happened.
THE REALITY: Sex makes a mess… I’ll just leave it at that.
4 - Terrorists are always considerate enough to have large built in digital count down clocks in their explosives so the hero can know exactly how much time he/she has left
NO FUTHER EXPLANATION NEEDED
5 - Shot in the shoulder? No problem!
THE CLICHE: Usually in action flicks, the hero will take a bullet. But fortunately it didn’t hit his face, or his heart. Usually it’s the shoulder or leg or something like that. When this happens, the hero grimaces for a few moments, then the goes on fighting.
THE REALITY: Guess what. When you’re shot in the leg, you don’t walk anymore. You don’t walk with a limp, or just slowed down… you don’t walk PERIOD. Got shot in the shoulder? Yeah, you can’t throw punches anymore. Every time you even think about breathing you scream like a little girl.
6 - Everyone everywhere knows Morse Code
7 - I know you’re about to say something important, but let me interrupt you with unrelated information that will unwittingly douse what you were about to say
THE CLICHE: Son is out to dinner with his parents and has built up the courage to tell them that he’s gay. He says “Mom, Dad… I want you to know I love you, and that’s why I’ve decided to tell you this very important thing about myself and my life…” The dad suddenly cuts in “Before you go on Nick, have I told you how much I hate fags recently?” Son then changes topics and pretends like the news he was about to give was about a car or something else. This is also done with girl trying to tell boyfriend she’s pregnant. Boy trying to tell girl pal he loves her. The combinations are endless.
THE REALITY: The human race are a bunch of inconsiderate animals… but generally I’ve always found when I say “I’ve got something important to say” and then start telling them what it is… no one has ever suddenly cut me off to mention something totally unrelated.
8 - Delayed information equals certain death
THE CLICHE: Two people are talking in a perfectly good spot when person “A” says to person “B”: “I’ve got to tell you something that will alter the destiny of the human race”. Person “B” is obviously intrigued and asks what this information is. Then, for NO GOOD REASON person “A” says something like: “Not here… meet me later at this other place”. Sure enough, you know that person “A” will be killed before he can ever tell his secret.
THE REALITY: Someone says they know something important… then I’m getting them to tell me right then and there.
You may ask “John, why just 8 instead of 10″? Cause I’m breaking the cliche baby. :P
What are some of the ones that you’re sick and tired of seeing?
81 Comments, Comment or Ping
Kristina
Number 1 ALWAYS gets on my damn nerves. We already know how a romcom is gonna end, but at least make it SOMEWHAT interesting.
And if you are a supervillain, DON’T TALK. Just shoot the hero point-blank in the head and be done with it. You can tell his bleeding corpse your brilliant master plan, okay?
Jun 16th, 2007
Serena
YOu know what I hate about rom coms…you brought up the “jerk boyfriend”,but I have seen tons of other rom coms..with characters getting with “MR./MRS perfect. They’re funny, charming, better looking than the protagonist in the film…and they end up dumping them in the end for the hero/lead in the film. I hate seeing that…because in real life…No ONE is going to dump the perfect person! Maybe that’s why I liked My Best Friend’s Wedding so much…it went against the cliche…
Jun 16th, 2007
Matt
“Everyone everywhere knows Morse Code”
that made me laugh out loud. nice list. :)
Jun 16th, 2007
Veracious
This list is also cliche.
Jun 16th, 2007
krazie835
“And if you are a supervillain, DON’T TALK. Just shoot the hero point-blank in the head and be done with it. You can tell his bleeding corpse your brilliant master plan, okay?”
Hahaha that reminds me of The Incredibles lol.
A lot of those really bother me too espcially number 1 but just because they are in the movie doesn’t make the film bad or any weaker although it can lol. I mean come on John you would always that Wedding Crashers should have been nominated for an Oscar or something and yet it had the cliche of the current boyfriend/husband of the main character’s would be love interest is a total jerk.
How about the cliche of the good guy winning at the end of a movie. Or perhapes giving you the sense that the bad guy didn’t completely win like in The Departed (which I loved) but I mean it did leave the audience with the sense that the bad guy didn’t really win in the end the good guys won.
Jun 16th, 2007
Darren LaRose
Awesome list. I liked no “spunk after the hump” .. but that’s a level of realism I don’t think most movie audiences are prepared for though. :)
Jun 16th, 2007
Pineapplehead
I hate it when at the end of the film you don’t actually SEE the villain die then they pop up again in the sequel with some bullshit explanation of how they escaped the huge air strike etc.
Jun 16th, 2007
Dr peter venkman
Number 1 for me is the false scare then the real scare. God I hate that convention,Just the prinicpal of well we’re going to play with the audience expectations so let’s do it in every god damn movie. It may just be me,But for a while there that was ALL I SAW IN HORROR MOVIES.
Jun 16th, 2007
Tombo
Number 1 is annoying… but Bryan Singer going against it in Superman Returns made it damned hard to watch!
Jun 16th, 2007
townes
9. You can run away from explosions!
10. Bad guys are ugly!
True list.
The first one reminded me of “An Unfinished Life”.
Jun 16th, 2007
haole
what I hate
Affirmitive action in movies. I hate it when they (for no reason) have the need to have an international cast. By this I mean EVERY nationality has to be represented and its obvious that’s the on;y reason they’re there.
side note: no, I’m not racist, I believe are many Talented actors of all races, so why don’t we cast them instead. I.E. Don’t show us a black, arab, chinese, hindu character, give us a character who is black, arab, chinese, hindu, etc.
Jun 16th, 2007
Jenny
9. when you look for an information, just turn tv on and it will be on the news, exactly on the first channel you will be on, and exactly at the moment they are speaking about it.
Jun 16th, 2007
Pineapplehead
@ Townes.
Yea - like Predator you mean. You too can run from a nuclear level explosion if need be.
Jun 16th, 2007
Naught
I hate it when a character gets shot (or something fatal happened to him/her) and he’s dying, he knows he’s dying, everybody knows he’s dying, and by all facts and logic and common sense he should’ve died 5 minutes ago, but what does he do instead of dying? Launch into some kind of monologue (a stilted one of course, because he’s dying oh it hurts so much to talk but no..not..yet..i..must…say..this) telling heroine he how much he loves her or to tell hero buddy what he needs to do to cure the zombie disease or how to disarm the bomb or a secret the hero needs to know to end the movie.
CASE STUDY: Trinity, Matrix Revolutions
Trinity : “Neo.. This is as far as I go.. My journey ends here.. You brought me back once.. but there’s no bringing me back now.. I want you to know.. how much I love you.. blah blah blah.. (dying pause) blah blah blah.. (swallow excessive saliva) blah blah blah.. Kiss me.”
YOU’VE GOT STEEL CABLES SLICING THROUGH YOUR BODY! DIE ALREADY!
Jun 16th, 2007
Robert Williams
Bad guy’s are either Arabic or British.
Jun 16th, 2007
pAt cAmpbell
1.)
I HATE it when two characters are about to face off and one of them does the “come get some” hand motion.Uggh.
2.)
When a character is having a a meltdown or is on drugs I hate the camera angle that follows them on a steady cam in front of their face.
I usually check out roll my eyes and wait for the stupid scene to be over.
Jun 16th, 2007
robert(wolf)
Hahahaha, love the list. So true. I never thought of the no spunk after the hump before!
Here is a few that annoy me.
1. Horror movies-When the first character dies, everyone is upset. Second character dies to the last, no one really gives a shit or they are not meantioned anymore once dead.
2. There is always a taxi when someone needs one.
3. Black people saying CLICHE words says as ”Damn woman”.
4. Bad guys shooting off a 100 rounds of gun fire and missing the hero.
Jun 16th, 2007
Koko
Amen to the sex one.
Everything seems unrealistic to me in movies because I’m Australian and most of the movies I watch are American. The Accent doesn’t translate very well.
“You had me at ‘Hello’”
This translates to …
“Love, if I could have, I woulda stuck me dick in ya the first time I seen ya”
Jun 16th, 2007
Bertom
The bad guy is always not-american, smokes cigarettes, preferrably ugly, he never smiles, grunts and talks with a terrible accent
Jun 16th, 2007
Don
GREAT LIST! Cliche #1 about the love-interest’s boyfriend has annoyed me for years!
Jun 16th, 2007
Mike
What I would add:
THE CLICHE: Whenever the weather reflects the character’s mood. i.e. it rains whenever someone is grieving, eather from a character’s death or from a breakup, but if someone is crying, the rain’s gotta fall.
THE REALITY: The world isn’t affected by your mood and it is likely a beautiful day outside when you feel like shit.
Jun 16th, 2007
Darren j Seeley
Adding/amending to Gio’s #1’s reality: The guy is still an abusive jerk and treat her like his property. He will stand her up, knock her up, knock her down, and she will still love the idiot because his car is better than yours :( But, be of good cheer. Most of the time the idiot has to make up/exagerrate his own inadaquadicies.
Anyway…
1) Love at first sight can happen. GETTING LAID ON THE FIRST DATE (or even random occurance)…that’s another story.
2) On a related note, hookers will always be smoking hot, work out at least twice a day, and, most importantly, you don’t have to pay her for sex. She’ll charge others, of course, but you are ’special’.
3) Strippers in a strip bar. And not one of the main/supporting characters is watching them.
4) “I want your badge and your gun. You are on vacation/suspension”.
Oddly, maverick cop will have another gun/have access to one. In addition, he gets best (revenge) results when off-duty and on vacation. They also will be fully re-instated.
5) For those underlings who came closest to capturing/killing the hero but, due to chance, the hero gets away: the crime boss will knock them off because of thier “failiure”.
6) The difference between cats and dogs: in a global disaster, the cats sadly never make it. Our dog Fido? No problem! Dogs are faster than all fires and floods, domestic, foreign AND especially extraterristial.
7) In times of peril, it is best to drive motorcycles…because the car battery dies and/or gas line floods as the killer approaches.
8) Self-awareness jokes/fourth wall abuse…characters “know” they are in a genre film.
Jun 16th, 2007
Larry
#8 bothers me the most. Especially when someone takes forever to explain that they have something important to say, “don’t forget this”, “I’ve got to tell you”…..just tell them already…dammit.
This is the one thing that takes me out of ANY movie.
Jun 16th, 2007
Phil Gee
Ok, i can add two bad guy cliches here for starters:
“I’ve been very impressed that you got this far…….why not join me”
“I know you better than you know yourself”
People who have never held a firearm before, will be as good as Robocop within 10 seconds of touching one (this includes being able to hold, load, and cock it as if it were made of cardboard instead of being the rather heavy piece of metal that it actually is).
Jun 16th, 2007
Phil Gee
Oh, if at a party with loud music, and said music is suddenly turned off, people at party develop sudden muteness and paralysis.
Jun 16th, 2007
arnique
James Marsden HATES cliche no 1 for sure.
Jun 16th, 2007
movie replicas
in horror movies, woman is running from the serial killer, she trips, drops her keys, can’t find the right keys to start her car. the killer isn’t near her car, until the shot pans out and is either standing in front of the door or the sudden “peeka boo I see you” scare.
Jun 16th, 2007
Rodney
lol@ Darren! Yeah, the dog always gets to live. Example: Independance Day.
Alien uberweapon is tearing major cities a new one, THOUSANDS of people dying in a fiery blaze of destruction. Oh shit we forgot the dog in the car while running for cover in this access door no one is using! Hey dog! and we all cheer when the dog miraculously escapes harm in an impressive leap to safety.
Did you see the dozen people dematerialize in the background while you were cheering?
In Jurassic Park 2 the dog is barking at the dino, and I was SO happy to see him get eaten.
Jun 16th, 2007
mudkat
one thing that really bothers me is the killer no matter how mutated and crazy they are,they are so into their work that they have collected every newspaper clipping of every crime they’ve done and they have posted them on the wall for the victoms to find.then the idiots take the time to stand there and read them while a killer is after them.
another one is the good guy/girl has stunned the killer but instead of hacking him to little pieces or shooting him 20 times to make sure he’s dead,they just walk away and assume he’s finshed.
Jun 16th, 2007
Russ
The one that gets me every time is in a childrens movie with talking dog Who Let The Dogs Out has to play atleast once.
Or Within a horror movie the good old fasioned fake out scare, followed by the real scare you always know when its coming too like when someone opens a medicine cabinet to look in and when they close it someone else is behind them….but yet people still continue to jump at this
Jun 16th, 2007
ryan wimbrough
i hate all those cliches, makes the movie predictable …
also add in that from those football movies, there is a dramatic scoring play
Jun 16th, 2007
Salem
John, though I usually agree with 99% of your posts, I must say, #1 isn’t always a cliche. In fact, it’s usually true. You and I are both GIANOMOUS GEEKS. We can both attest to the fact that women much rather date the jerks/assholes who demean them, rather than the little nice guy. Well, girls around my age group do…
So #1 isn’t 100% false. :)
Jun 16th, 2007
ClassyAss
The line “we’ve got company!” Usually used in a car chase or when multiple characters are where they shouldn’t be and are discovered.
Jun 16th, 2007
Blaze87
The cliche that really bothers me is when they say a line of what’s gonna happen in the end, ala X-Men 3, when Xavier says to Storm “One day you’ll take over the school.”, and I’m sitting in the theater going “Oh god, now I know what’s gonna happen.”, it makes the story too predictable.
Jun 16th, 2007
Joe
I liked the morse code cliche a lot…
The thing that bothers the hell out of me is that there is never any traffic. Ok, you’re on the other side of LA? No problem, I’ll just hop in my ride and be there in 10 minutes - which is possible because there’s no traffic!
Jun 16th, 2007
reuben
John,
In number two you said that you chalked the bar fights up to “bar peer presure”.
But I say you are wrong. It’s beer presure.
Jun 16th, 2007
Viddy
I hate this cliche: Love Interest gets captured by bad guy and hero must save her…….”just in the nick of time!”
I hate when one of the good guys joins the enemy just to reveal that he was there to hack the organization from the inside at a crucial moment.
The whole “life lesson” at the end of the movie.
Jun 16th, 2007
Deborah
“Yeah, that girl you dig… well her boyfriend 9 times out of 10 is better looking, funnier, smarter, richer and all round a better person that you… loser.”
HAHAHA
…soo true
Jun 16th, 2007
jason presti
Great John! This topic is one of the main reasons I come to this site! Nowhere else can i vent my movie frustrations and feel validated like this site!
I agree with all of those! Too many movie cliches are a sign of lazy writing!
The really sad thing is that some of the oldest ones in the book STILL get used way too much, like “i’ll be right back” in horror movies, still used a lot.
The ones i hate are where someone original tried to turn a cliche on its ear and change it and then Everyone else adopts it.
For along time in horror movies the main hero ALWAYS lived so recently some films tried to change it by introducing a false hero in the beginning and then killing them unexpectedly.
Already, more than a few films have copied this and tried to make us think characters were important then killed them off. I almost expect it now…almost.
Jun 16th, 2007
jason presti
One of my biggest pet-peeves is in Romantic comedies.
the main character always has one friend/relative who is the “sane” one and gives them the correct advice.
The main character then ignores them the whole film, screws up their entire life in every way possible in one day, then has to crawl back to that friend/relative and follow their original advice.
The other worst offender to me is Hollywood’s recent free pass with cheating. This is the main plot of the new Ben Stiller movie and we have seen this 100 times before.
Main character gets engaged to absolute jerk/bitch who treats them like complete dirt. Main character meets love of their life while on trip, starts affair with new love, then convinces nasty fiance that they should let them go and all will be happy if main character ends up with new girl.
Nasty fiance suddenly turns into nice person, agrees, then gives main character a hug and wishes them well!
Anyone who has watched ONE episode of Judge Judy or Divorce Court will know that this is complete BS!!! Hell, people have been KILLED for pulling that kind of crap in real life!!!
Jun 16th, 2007
Terry Letourneau
In horror/sci-fi, people always tend to go into air ducts…DO NOT GO INTO AIR DUCTS!!
Jun 16th, 2007
Al
Perhaps this is slightly off topic but a formula that I’m sick and tired of seeing is animated films featuring family-friendly, cartoony, anthropomorphic, talking-animals. There is too damn many. Why can’t animation be percieve as something more than just for kids?
Jun 16th, 2007
AudioOut
Here’s one
Little Penny is looking for Little Johnny but is scared. Little Penny eventually looks in the scary dark basement. Calls out, “Hey Johnny! You in there?” Doesn’t get answered. Hesitates…then goes in to see if he’s there…
Why would anyone do that?
The heroes and villains have to attack each other at the apex of their sentence. Like this:
“Well, how do you like THIS.” and “This is where you DIE!” accompanied by a gradual loudening. But if the hero is going to be saved then they say, “This is where you die.” calmly, then stand there and wait to be foiled.
Jun 16th, 2007
nate
Something to expect when your watching war films:
When a character looks at her girlfriend/wife/son/daughter’s picture they always gets killed and it seems like a really big deal to the main character.
Jun 16th, 2007
Carolyn Pan
Man, you are so right about #7! I’d never really thought about it before, but it’s a total rom-com staple. Usually, though, they try to legitimize it, so it’s not so much a ridiculously inconsiderate interruption but a WACKILY COINCIDENTAL phone call (with the one-sided conversation hilariously breaking down the guy’s resolve– Meet the Parents, I’m thinking of), or the exactly wrong person coming in with big overshadowing news, so afterwards the person will turn back and say “Sorry, weren’t you going to tell me something?” but the moment’s gone.
And on that note, I think the most ridiculous part of the cliche is when the guy pretends he was talking about a car or whatever and the parents JUST ACCEPT IT. Like “Sorry, honey, what were you trying to tell me?” “Oh… just that… I love you.” “Oh, OK.” NO! Obviously they were building up to something big! NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE THAT.
Jun 16th, 2007
Kristina
In car chases, people use up all their ammo shooting at each other. AIM FOR THE FUCKING TIRES!! Blow the tires out, chase over, done deal. Hell, if you’re going at high speeds, a blown tire could theorectically flip the bad guy’s car over multiple times, badly injuring or even killing him. Just shoot out the damn tires.
In romcoms, the people can’t figure their shit out until the VERY END where they chase down their love in a car, or race to the airport to stop them from moving to France or some shit. I HATE when they have stupid disagreements and storm off, followed by the typical montage set to sad emo music. I HATE it in movies like Hitch or How to lose a guy in 10 days when they have the BIG FIGHT over some misunderstanding, but if they sat down for two minutes and actually TALKED about the shit, they’d figure it out and everything would be fine. That’s why I LOVE Lost in Translation. There is no contrived plot device that drives the two of them apart.
Jun 16th, 2007
bond james bond
car keys in the ignition.
car doesnt start.
Jun 16th, 2007
Serena
I would like to see one movie where a parent actually believes their child about something f*cked up going on. Children and animals in movies always seem to sense bad shit going on….I just want to see a movie where a kid goes to his parents and say something like “I think our next door neighbour is a vampire/werewolf/serial killer etc.” and the parents go, “Well then let’s get the f*ck out of here!”
Jun 16th, 2007
Klendathu
Here’s one that always pisses me off: An evil secret is revealed/something ominous is said….LIGHTNING STRIKES RIGHT AFTER HE/SHE SAYS IT. Not only that, but the thunder sounds SIMULTANEOUSLY!
Jun 16th, 2007
Kristina
Another one….in disaster movies, the whole world will go to shit, millions will die…..but the cute kid and the dog will ALWAYS survive. I will NEVER forgive that fucking dog outrunning the fireball in Independence Day, or the homeless asshole and his dog in Day After Tomorrow. Fuck kids and fuck their dogs. The best thing about Pirates 3 was that they had the balls to hang a fucking bastard kid in the opening sequence. Fuck kids. Fuck dogs. FUCK THEM ALL!!!!!!!!
Jun 16th, 2007
Phil Gee
Serena’s has to be my favourite! It’s so true, but none of these cliches are going to stop until we get off our arses and start writing the movies ourselves.
Just imagine if it were possible to create a film which contains all the situations we’ve mentioned but avoids every single cliche we’ve pointed out……..what a fucked up mess that would be, ha!
Jun 16th, 2007
Rodney Munch
The one that always gets me is when people are watching an important announcement on TV - like the world is going to end - and they watch about 10 seconds of the announcement and then turn the fucking TV off!
Come on! when 9/11 happened everyone was glued to the TV all day…..
At least get your characters to discuss how they are going to save the world with the TV still on in the background.
Jun 16th, 2007
Kristina
The black guy dying first. You can set your watch to that shit in any horror flick.
Jun 16th, 2007
treycranson
@JENNY
I always hate that they instantly get the news they were looking for, but what I hate more than that is when they turn off the TV right after the story. I mean come on!! You know if the news is big enough, they’ll be talking about it for another 30 minutes, or break-in with ‘this just in…’
Jun 17th, 2007
treycranson
Sorry, I have another. Why are all Romans in historical movies speaking with British accents?
Jun 17th, 2007
Kristina
Or Spatans with Scottish accents…………
Jun 17th, 2007
Hosero
Heres 2 more for you;
“We should split up.” No you fucking shouldn’t!
I love these giant shootouts that go on for 5 minutes in an action scene and the cops just never show. If there was a shoot out of that size thats all that would be on the news for weeks.
Jun 17th, 2007
medavidson
Guys that get kicked in the balls grab their stomachs for two seconds and then keep on going. Trust me ladys: kicked in the balls = end of fight. Guys that get kicked in the balls grab their stomachs for two seconds and then keep on going. Trust me ladys: kicked in the balls = end of fight. <- PERIOD.
I’m getting a little sick just thinking about it…
Jun 17th, 2007
Kristina
In shootouts, the bad guys can’t shoot worth shit, but the good guys rarely, if ever, miss their targets. It kills me to see the bad people unload their ammo and not hit a damn thing.
Jun 17th, 2007
Ancey
Running from a maniac and screaming the entire way, especially when there are plenty of areas to duck and hide, because is it’s really dark out and the only thing said maniac can tell about where you are are the noises you make: You should shut up and stay low for a long time. Instead of running in one straight line (screaming) through a thick forest when all you’ve got is one saw-wielding maniac following you.
Jun 17th, 2007
Peter T
@ Kristina with gun fights the hero is always an awesome shot UNTILL he has a clear shot and the main villian oh no! he missed so they have to have a hand to hand fight instead… GRRR
Jun 17th, 2007
Kristina
When people get married in movies, the wedding is almost always interrupted somehow, by somebody objecting to the marriage, or one of them realizing at the last moment that their heart is really with someone else.
Jun 17th, 2007
Kristina
When people have sex in movies, they cover themselves up with sheets during and after the act. The woman’s legs are sticking out, and the sheets cover the guy from the waist down. How convenient. Either that, or they rush to throw their clothes back on. They are never sweaty and the woman’s makeup is still perfectly intact. When they wake up in the morning, NO ONE EVER HAS BAD BREATH OR DROOL OR THE PILLOW. Birds are chirping, the lighting is perfect, and nobody looks like hell.
Jun 17th, 2007
Kristina
And with all the sex going on, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen somebody stop to put a condom on in a movie, yet none of these people ever get herpes. Miraculous, I tell ya!
Jun 17th, 2007
Naught
Nowadays you just have to look at a picture of Paris Hilton and you can get herpes, my dear.
That Scot accent on a Spartan was hot. I don’t kid and I don’t give a shit.
My fave rom-com is still Love Actually. Lots of cliches, but it made me smile and feeling the fuzzies after wacthing it, and I don’t get fuzzies except after orgasms.
Question:
In Movies, when the wife and husband have the same job or work in the same line (i.e Mr&Mrs Smith), why is it always wife does better than husband? Are we women so fragile we can’t admit that some things are done better by men?
Jun 18th, 2007
Ian
Everyone’s telephone number starts with 555
Jun 18th, 2007
Kristina
@Naught
I ADORE the Butler and I LOVE Love Actually. That moment with the videotape of Keira put a tear in my eye. And man, Billy Mack….
“It’s a terrible mistake, chubs, but you turned out to be the fucking love of my life.”
sigh………………..
Jun 18th, 2007
Alfredo
1. Right on John! This fromula has been run into ground. However I disagree anyone being more handsome then me.
2. Too true.
3. I wouldn’t know about doing it in public places… hmmm would care to tell us who she was John.
4. :(
5. Right on again. If you get shot in the shoulder kiss full movment of that arm good-bye.
6.Not true in Short Circuit 2.
7. Rule #7 can also lead to hilarity.
8. Not all info is for the publics ears. Finding a secluded area to divulge information is sometimes a smart idea. Also it can lead to rule #3.
Jun 18th, 2007
Alfredo
1. Right on John! This fromula has been run into ground. However I disagree anyone being more handsome then me.
2. Too true.
3. I wouldn’t know about doing it in public places… hmmm would care to tell us who she was John.
4. :(
5. Right on again. If you get shot in the shoulder kiss full movment of that arm good-bye.
6.Not true in Short Circuit 2.
7. Rule #7 can also lead to hilarity.
8. Not all info is for the publics ears. Finding a secluded area to divulge information is sometimes a smart idea. Also it can lead to rule #3.
Jun 18th, 2007
Goon
The fat kid is also the stupidest and the stinkiest and loudest
Jun 18th, 2007
Jeff Razey
…Kristina, do you secretly want a dog?
ok,
1) Scottish rolls with british actors, british rolls with scottish actors
2) Major shootouts, bad guy has revolver that holds 6 shots and he shoots 9 or 10, sometimes more the older the movie
3) During major shoot outs, (where cars are involved) no one thinks of shooting the other persons feet or legs from under the car.
4) In horror movies the victom is running like a cheeta through the woods that are dark and deep, from a killer that is mutated or shot, hurt, stabed - limping or on one leg - but is always 20 feet behind the person RUNNING (and screaming, just in case the killer gets lost)
5) The hero or main star sacrifices themself - that got old after ARMAGEDON - its a new one that is now happening TOO often.
6) Someone told not to make any phone calls as to not give away where they are, and they do it any way
7) Ben Stiller movies
8) Secret labs or bases that would take thousands of people to build….not so secret base
9) Tom Cruse movies
10) Someone mentioned this before, but getting from point “A” 30 miles away to point “B” in ten minutes
11) Hero getting away in HIGH SPEED CHASE - let me say this - NEVER GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN EVVVEEERRRR!!!!! YOU CAN’T OUT RUN POLICE RADIO!
One last thing…about women with the jerk boyfriend(s) women want to get FUCKED like a porn star! Nice guys don’t know how or incapable of doing so! Thats why they stay with the asshole! Nice guys need to learn how to smack that ass right and kill this cliche…fuck…
Jun 19th, 2007
Jeff Razey
oh and cars that do radical jumps 20 feet or so off the ground and still drive at high speeds with little or no damage.
this applies to the car also being shot the fuck up by machine guns and have thousands of bullet holes in the hood and still run…no fucking way.
Jun 19th, 2007
Jeff Razey
the dumb but insanly HOT girl that the “good guy” won’t fuck the shit out of her. WHY THE FUCK NOT?
Jun 19th, 2007
Kat
First of all what you said was ignorant, and good guy is probably looking for personality and not just the looks. Ok moving on. The number one thing that bothers me in sci-fi and action films is when there is a whole bunch of people and there is a monster or something coming to kill them and the people just stand there and stare at the thing while it is killing people. Like in War of the Worlds.
Jul 1st, 2007
Mister Mike
In a movie where there is a closeup of a computer screen where someone is typing (usually some computer geek with a typing speed of 120 words per minute or more), have you ever seen the typist make a mistake?
Jul 9th, 2007
Rafael
I got one for ya. The bad guy who has everything but the good guys girl. I’ve seen this countless times in many movies.
Jul 10th, 2007
Bobsyeruncle
There may be a little more truth to #1 than we want to concede. Sorry, “hero”. If your love interest is in a committed relationship with an abusive man, she’s got bigger problems than you’ll ever solve with your tenderness and charm. Run for your life and find a woman who cherishes a good man, ‘cuz this one won’t.
Here’s another for the list, though. The villain is rich, and we hate him because we know that significant wealth is never gained through perseverance and shrewd strategy, but always by manipulation and treachery. The hero struggles financially, and we love him because we know that those in such positions have no moral shortcomings, especially greed.
As much as this set-up is already a caricature, we’re supposed to cheer when everything wraps up nice at the end, and the hero is lifted out of his poverty by a freakish windfall. Wait a minute: Now that our hero is rich, doesn’t that make HIM evil?
Jul 15th, 2007
Johno
Here are some more…
*The guy and girl are just about to kiss and… they get interrupted by some irritating person. What, can you not see that they’re trying to kiss? And where’d you come from, anyway?
*If you can’t see it, you can’t hear it. Helicopters that pop up from behind a tree or building… I guess they had the silencer on those rotors.
*When someone’s using a computer and it’s not a Mac, and it’s also not running Windows… hey, what the hell is this operating system? The letters are all really huge and there are tons of beeping noises.
*To save the world we have to sacrifice a couple of people. The guy who wants to sacrifice them is considered “evil” for this, and he will eventually get his comeupance. (Of course, if you don’t sacrifice those people, and the world ends, they’ll die anyway.) Luckily, the people will decide to sacrifice themselves, which is okay. And then half the time, they somehow escape death anyway!!!
Nov 29th, 2007
marc
no matter how good the bad guy can fight, you will learn every fight sport in 2 weeks that you can beat him
*g*
Apr 3rd, 2008
mixmastajb
here’s one:
somebody will eat something and really like it.
when they ask what it is, they will get an answer like, “it’s dog food” or “it’s monkey brains,” and then they will hate it.
Apr 5th, 2008
angryaboutbullshit
i really hate it when you got like 5 protagonists in a horror movie that have to search for the killer or for something like fixin the blown fuses… so they all go in different directions, knowing that a killer is waiting for them… probably not at the first dark corner,… that’s just a false jump scare… you’re like WTF? and then… the killer shows up from behind ! WHY DO THEY DO THIS SHIT? WHY DON’T THEY JUST STAY TOGETHER? 5 GUYS COULD EASILY HANDLE ONE KILLER!
wow, that’s so cliche, fuck that bullshit…
Apr 5th, 2008
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