Paul WS Anderson to make Three Musketeers in 3D

Remakes are so passe now. What you really need to do to make a remake matter is to release it in 3D!

And what better film to offer in 3D than a Three Musketeers film. Now we can have gratuitous thrusting of swords in your face just to showcase the technology and get a kneejerk reaction from the crowds. Because that has never been done before.

Next to get the 3D do-over treatment is The Three Musketeers. It’s been at least five years since someone has made a movie out of Alexandre Dumas’ classic tale of French politics and swashbuckling. Even longer if you’re looking for the last time someone did a good version. This probably won’t be one of those rare, good versions since it’s being done by Paul W.S. Anderson.

I am not a fan of Paul WS Anderson’s achievments unless you include banging Milla Jovovich. Its not like I hate him or anything. The films he has done are not WORSE for his effort. They tend to be what they are with or without him. But he just hasn’t done anything to impress me (excpet that Milla thing)

But the Three Musketeers is a story that we last saw on screen with the remarkably embarassing “The Musketeer” in 2001. That film still stands for me as the film with the best editing in a trailer as it made me want to see it so bad and thats all it was… so bad. And in 2003 Disney made a Mickey Donald and Goofy DTV around the legend. They have some pretty big feathered hats to fill for me after the unintentional set of films like Disney’s Three Musketeers and the perfect followup The Man in the Iron Mask (not sequels, but they work perfect together)

However, Anderson will be producing and no director is named yet, so we have that. But they still throw around phrases like “they’re “modernizing” The Three Musketeers but assures us that it will still be a period piece” which confuses me. How do you modernize something and still make it a period piece?

I am getting that tickle in the back of my throat that makes me worried already.

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12 thoughts on “Paul WS Anderson to make Three Musketeers in 3D

  1. Not interested in the least.

    Mostly because Paul W.S. Anderson is directing. I LOVE Event Horizon, but pretty much everything he’s touched since then has made me scream at the movie world for anyone ever hiring this guy to do another movie ever again.

    And he’s just making it in 3D because he thinks that’s going to get more seats filled, because he’s the one directing and most everyone thinks he sucks. But just putting a bad movie in 3D doesn’t make it a good one.

    Finally, the whole modernized period piece thing. Didn’t we already see that with A Knights Tale? It kind of worked for that movie, but there were quite a few music and wardrobe choices that just made me cringe. I don’t think we need another movie like that.

    The better idea for Mr. Anderson, would be to just come up with something original again for once.

    1. Correction:

      “But they still throw around phrases like “they’re “modernizing” The Three Musketeers but assures us that it will still be a period piece” which confuses me”

      My thoughts exactly.

  2. How do you modernize while making a period piece?

    *As mentioned by others, soundtrack music. Fight scene happens, and out comes Lady Gaga over the dolby surround…

    *The dialog is pepped with anacronisms…

    *D’Artagan goes emo…

    *Portos is still a lover of women, only now their bosoms are more plastic…

    *Aramis and Athos are best buds, but there is now a suggestive but unfounded gay subtext.

    *There will be at least one indirect reference to cannabis.

    Finally, none of the Musketeers are French, nor do they speak with British accents. They say they are French, but all talk like 21st century Americans.

    Hey, I gave it a shot.

  3. As far as a director goes, you are correct for the most part. He does have at least one gem under his belt, Event Horizon. Great scifi/horror, in my opinion anyway. Soldier wasn’t have bad either. But apart from that, not a fan of his and those two contributions are not enough to get me excited for this.

  4. Funny because i was hoping that someone would make a Three Musketeer movie about a week ago… that said, Anderson+3D+3 Musketeers doesn’t sound like it would satisfy my wants. Hopefully the new Robin Hood movie will force a new standard on period action/adventure movies.

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