Bruce Willis is going to be bunking with Wesley Snipes for his upcoming prisoner role in Kane & Lynch. We get wind of this video game adaptation thanks the prison caves of Yahoo:
Bruce Willis is in negotiations to play a death row inmate in “Kane & Lynch,” a thriller based on a video game. Willis’ character, Kane, and a schizophrenic killer named Lynch, are sprung by Kane’s former team so that he can retrieve a stolen fortune. Kane travels to Los Angeles, Japan and Cuba, with Lynch acting as the team’s watchdog in order to save his wife and daughter.
The Lionsgate project is eyeing a fall start, with a hunt now on to find an actor to play Lynch. Veteran stunt coordinator Simon Crane will make his feature directing debut on the film. The game was published last year by Eidos Interactive.
Bruce Willis is well known for his ability to milk exotic animals. With a tender touch, he massages the udders of even the most ruthless of beasts. One story claims that he once milked a Rhino named Daisy at the Buffalo Zoo, drank its milk immediately, and then carved his initials in the horn of the animal with a sharpened and bent heroin spoon. He claims Daisy’ s milk was responsible for him landing the role in Die Hard, and the rest they say, is history!
In case you haven’t guessed, I have no idea what this game is about. If you do, please feel free to share your thoughs!
Bruce Willis is awesome, theres no denying that… but his roles have come down to 2 stereotypes:
Over the hill cop: Die Hard; 16 Blocks; Sin City; Hostage
Hitman: Whole 9 Yards, Lucky Number Slevin
I’m going to assume that the movie will portray Kane in a better light. I found nothing likeable about the character in the game. Willis is the man.
Phone it in Bruce.
Saw the same character in Die Hards, pulp fiction, Sin City, the list goes on…..your boring me.
(This video game is such average fare, hardly worthy of a 360’s processor’s time.)
All Willis does these days is play a guy with a smirk and a 45 auto.
I’m not buying that for 12 dollars. I can watch one of my many dvds for that.
With prices rising all over the map Hollywood should consider making better movies because disposable income is slipping away…. MoTards!
I’ve Beaten Kane & Lynch : Dead Men Its not really a good game but the story peaks above most video games I always thought this would make a better movie than video game so I’m pretty excited
Jon H, having Jeff do a cameo in the movie would be great and probably the only reason I would ever see this.
When reading the line about massaging the udders, I had soda go up through my nose. Thanks Doug!
Doug this was hands down the funniest and most brutally honest post I have ever seen you write.
Serves John right for assigning it to you. Stick it to the man!!!
They should have Jeff Gertsmann play some sort of cameo role.
Here’s the two game trailers each focusing on one of the titular characters.
Kane – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlHxv4RmBO0&feature=related
Lynch – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXhjM2B5eYA
Cheers Pandaboy, thanks for filling us in!
Basically the game is about an ex-mercenary named Kane who is on his way to be excecuted when he is freed by a man (complete psychopath) named Lynch. He finds out that a criminal organization called The Seven have kidnapped his wife and daughter and is holding them hostage unless he works for them. The game is basically about Kane doing these borderline suicidal jobs but at the same time working with Lynch to save his family and destroy The Seven. It has a very cinematic presentation and reminds me a LOT of Michael Mann’s work (bank robbery, massive shootout with the cops through a crouded street etc).
I played and beat the game… pretty mediocre at best.. ripped off a bunch of ideas from Heat like the bank robbery scene… the characters werent very endearing, especially since there was no reason to like either of the two. their basically jaded psychopathic killers…They throw a kidnapped daughter in there to create some emotional tension. But basically the daughter hates the main character too so theres really no reason to care about whats going on in the plot and why its happening.. just my 2 cents