For those of you that have always wanted Woody in a zombie film, I am pregnant with joyous news. I now birth the story upon your lap thanks to our friends at comingsoon:
Jesse Eisenberg is in final talks to join Woody Harrelson in Columbia Pictures’ horror comedy Zombieland, about a mismatched pair of survivors who find friendship and redemption in a world overrun by zombies.
The Hollywood Reporter says Eisenberg is in negotiations to play Flagstaff, a terrified shut-in whose cowardice makes him an expert at surviving the zombies but who is forced out of his shell to join the band of survivors, which includes Harrelson.
In this bromance zombie comedy, I wish Woody would just join Eisenberg in his shut-in fortress of solitude and ride out the zombie apocalypse. Pulling the coward out of his comfort zone is fine and dandy, but I think having the shut in as the hero with the correct strategy would be the funnier option. I want to watch people play video games and eat Doritos unconcerned with the outside world.
We will be on the lookout for still from this project to see what weapons Woody will wield in this zombie adventure. I would like to see the film’s survivors break into a museum and use historical weapons to battle the undead horde. Halberd Vs. Zombie needs to happen.
If there were a textbook on the subject of how not to write a blog post, this one would be on the cover. First, the disgusting birth metaphor made me not even want to read about Woody Harrelson in a zombie movie, which is quite a feat. Second, you didn’t even make it a zombie birth metaphor, so it didn’t really even match the theme of the entry; it was forced and amateurish.
Also, you make an ironic claim “I wish they would just stay in and play video games; I’d love to watch that”, but you never turn it into a full on joke. Instead, it just sounds like a dumb idea written by an overly self indulgent blogger.
Speaking of overly self indulgent bloggers, there’s way too much you in this post. Just get to the damn news nugget, make a brokeback mountain joke, and move on.
I didn’t turn comments off.
No one cares what you think about politics…I come to this board to escape it. I will tell you this the more people like you rant and rave about how right Obama is and how wrong McCain is….the more I know I’m going to vote for McCain.
Also, you are a coward for posting something like that and turning the comments section off. That’s why I’m posting this here.