Teeth Review

Hey guys, we have been waiting for this film for some time now and without further adieu here is your Teeth review!

The General Idea

Here is the official synopsis from Rotten Tomatoes: High school student Dawn works hard at suppressing her budding sexuality by being the local chastity group’s most active participant. Her task is made even more difficult by her bad boy stepbrother Brad’s increasingly provocative behavior at home. A stranger to her own body, innocent Dawn discovers she has a toothed vagina when she becomes the object of violence. As she struggles to comprehend her anatomical uniqueness, Dawn experiences both the pitfalls and the power of being a living example of the vagina dentata myth.

The Good

Teeth has quite a few scenes where genitals are used as a weapon, they are funny and down right ridiculous. The fear with a movie like this – is that you will only see the killer cunt used once – and then roll credits. This is not the case, the shred-o-vag is used much and often for our delight.

in the film Dawn begins as a champion virgin of the True Love Waits virginity movement. As she hangs out with her other religious friends we are introduced to the regimented precautions, borders and stipulations they place on themselves in order to remain chaste. As someone that was very religious as a teenager, this was a painful/funny reminder of the things I used to do in order to avoid putting my penis in people. I was able to relate to the teens first hand and felt for them, because speaking from experience; abstinence is maddening. I much prefer hedonism, it makes for a clearer head and sunnier disposition.

Josh Pais (from Year Of The Dog) plays a pervert gynecologist in the film and is kick ass yet again. His scene is easily my favorite film. As a dude, the idea of going into a stirrup chair and letting a strange man put equipment in my cavern frightens the hell out of me. I am sure it is not a fun event for most gals either and this scene plays off the uncomfortableness of the situation.

The movie pushes into the outlandish quite a bit in the second and third act and this is where the film belongs. The over the top parts of this film are the most enjoyable and it makes me wish that it was full tilt outlandish, which brings me to…

The Bad

The movie while being ridiculous most of the time, often shifts gears and tries to impart a message or life lesson. When the movie does this – it is apparent what they are doing and I found it off – putting. This is a movie about a vagina with teeth – that is all the life lesson you need. This movie teeters on the serious and the ridiculous and it sits uncomfortably in the middle. If the guys from Troma did this film – it would have been 9/10.

Another thing that bothered me in the film was the amount of time the character spends investigating Vagina Dentata. I understand that she has this affliction, but I would have much preferred they leave out the explanation. In one scene the character is doing research on the internet and starts to discuss the subject with others?! I don’t go to a horror movie to see Jason Voorhees research his mental problems – I watch because I want to see mental problems in action!

Overall

I did like this movie and I would recommend you see it. I was annoyed more than a few times in the film, but I was always entertained. This is a horror movie where the hero slowly becomes a villain and we cheer as the transformation progresses. When Dawn realizes the power she wields between her legs, no man is safe and the world is her oyster. This is the way it has been since the beginning of time, men fear the vagina because it rules over us, and we obey! I give this film a 6/10 because of the problems I had with it; but it is worth a watch for sure – you will have fun.