Kevin Smith Wants Your Films. No Really, He Does.

You know, I’m not really sure how to describe Kevin Smith’s new Movies Askew website beyond saying that you can send him your films, so I’m just gonna let him do it himself …

“For years, View Askew has made you sit through our shitty, amateurish, self-indulgent (yet * ahem * award-winning) excuses for cinema. Now, it’s payback time… and this time, it’s personal! Because just because they serve you, doesn’t mean they like you (insert a dozen other taglines here)!
Anyhoo, View Askew is weeks away from launching a new website to join it’s already over-crowded ‘net empire of ViewAskew.com, NewsAskew.com, MoviePoopShot.com, and Google.com (I’m pretty sure we own that last one too), and this one’s a doozy! We’re giving you, the undiscovered filmmakers, a chance to show the world what you’ve got, via the stunningly originally titled… MoviesAskew.Com!

“What’s the skinny, Tubby?”
For a small fee (what – you thought it’d be free? It’s View Askew, sir – we’re money-grubbing whores), wanna-be filmmakers (and has-been’s too; I’ll be submitting “Jersey Girl” myself) will be able to submit their short films of thirty minutes or less to our distinguished panel of judges and a chance to secure one of five monthly spots at MoviesAskew.com. From there, visitors to the site will vote to decide which of the five shorts gets named Best of the Month, and all twelve of the monthly winners will earn a place on the MoviesAskew Vol. 1 DVD!

But wait! There’s more!
The fun doesn’t stop with the MoviesAskew DVD. Fuck no! Those twelve winning shorts will also screen at the First Annual MoviesAskew Film Festival (to be held in either Red Bank, NJ or Westwood, CA; y’know – close to one of the two Secret Stash locations, so we can foist some of our merchandise on ya’) where a panel of celebrity judges (me and Mewes, probably; maybe someone with more juice) will pick the best five shorts. Filmmakers making it to the last final round will have their shorts re-screeened, followed by a sit down Q&A session with the audience. After that, the audience will determine, by vote, which film will be named the Best Short of the Year! The Winner will walk away with the Grand Prize: a Panasonic Home Entertainment Center, a bunch of Miramax/Dimension Home Videos, and an apprentice position on the next View Askew Film (which is hardly a prize, we realize; more like a punishment). “

So there you have it. It’s like American Idol for wannabe indie film makers with Kevin Smith taking over the Simon Cowell role. Or maybe Paula Abdul. The website’s here.