The Chipmunks 2 Is Looking To Upstage Jesus Christ

Chipmunks2It looks like the chipmunks sequel is going to try and steal thunder from the sweet baby Jesus on December 25th. We get the following scoop from our friends at comingsoon:

20th Century Fox has set a Christmas Day 2009 release date for Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel. It will face Disney’s new animated The Princess and the Frog on that day.

The Chipmunks are notorious blasphemers. Disguised by big media as a kid friendly singing group, they seek to teach children the way of satan and create a generation of godless consumers with a penchant for fornication and rock and roll music (the music of the goat lord). In an ongoing affront to the merciful baby jesus, these tasteless heathens now dare to release their film on the birthday of the blessed saviour of the world.

I refuse to see this film on Christmas day. I will be busy drinking egg nog and singing hymns. These furry hellions can preach their message of idol worship and perversion all they want, me and my house will be celebrating christmas for its intended purpose; sun worship.

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23 thoughts on “The Chipmunks 2 Is Looking To Upstage Jesus Christ

  1. Uh…I’m a Christian and I love the Chipmunks. But I’m lucky that they’ll still show it in my country on January 2010, so no hard feelings. LOL And what makes you think only the Chipmunks? What about other movies that’ll come out on X-mas? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT?

  2. Ok now let’s consider Chip and Dale as Cain and Abel? or better yet Chip and Dale VS. Alvin, Theodore and Simon. Damn, wasting more future here as I type…

    (Rodney)… not I, called me an atheist. And rightly so. ’nuff said

    It’s the road less taken that makes it the long strange trip it’s been.

  3. PS ——-

    The Beatles claimed that they were bigger than Jesus.

    Now, the Chipmunks claim that theyre bigger than Jesus.

    So, who is now bigger? Beatles or Chipmunks?

  4. Back to the movie… (LOL)

    The first Chipmunks SUCKED. It was bad. And please all, dont say “It was a ‘family’ film”. Just because it was a “Family Film” doesnt mean it has to blow. No wonder the youth of today are growing up to be such assholes.

    Good “Family” films??? Back to the Future, Goonies, Short Circuit, the Original Charlie & the Choc Factory, The Sound of Music, Wizard of Oz, Toy Story, The Lion King, The Karate Kid, The Incredibles, Big, E.T., The Iron Giant, and MANY more.

    A good family film never speaks down or lowers itself, never resorts to lame jokes that only appeal to sugared-up 7 year olds with ADD, and anyone can find enjoyable.

    I know that “film is subjective”, but i hope oneday mankind learns to resist seeing trash. “Why do they make horrible spoof movies” – Because we see them. and “Why do they make assinine, so called ‘family films’?” Because we take kids to see them.

  5. @ Dutch

    People who use the term “atheist” do so because it’s easy when trying to convey your lack of belief in a deity to people.

    — – You are dissecting the word itself when the purpose of the sentence is to clearly state that the person does not consider the subject. If you say to someone “you don’t consider the subject” when asked “what gods do you believe in” or “what religion are you” you will come off as a giant ass indeed! But if you politely say “Im an atheist” they know where the hell you stand. Conversation continues, life goes on.

    This should be all the more clear when you consider that Rodney, not I, called me an atheist. And rightly so. It is a descriptive sentence that communicates to you well my lack of consideration of such things such as that.

  6. To be an atheist one must have some(one)thing not to believe in. There is a god it’s just all our devils in the details. Meh, I think I’ll skip both Christmas and Chipmunks and focus on the future.. wait that’s happening as I type this.

  7. The chipmunks will be damned to hell and tortured day in and day out! Well, actually the first movie wasn’t THAT bad. When they see Jesus when they die, he’ll say, “I don’t know you, depart from my sight.”

    Go Jesus.

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