I was swinging around the web on some of my favorite blogs, and I came across a neat list over at Slashfilm about the Maxim Magazine top 20 Greatest Awful Movies of All Time. There are some totally GOLD movies on this list… so here now… I share them with you. The Ones I REALLY love I’ve bolded for ya.
20. The Beastmaster: Half Conan and half Dr. Dolittle, loincloth-wearing Marc Singer is Dar, a man who talks to the animals…and kills people.
19. Hard Target: Jean-Claude Van Damme’s lone film with Wilford Brimley is good family fun, provided your idea of family fun is watching homeless Vietnam vets being hunted for sport.
18. Hot Dog…The Movie!: It has skiing, a jagoff German and topless scenes. Instant classic.
17. Over the Top: A Stallone steamer about a man who regains his son’s love by arm wrestling.
16. Tango & Cash: Ali and Frazier. Magic and Bird. Sly and Kurt. It’s a dream pairing of B-movie icons in the tale of rival cops who bond by putting grenades in people’s pants.
15. They Live: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper has sunglasses that enable him to see that many people are, in fact, aliens. It’s a real crowd pleaser.
14. Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins- They were looking for a blockbuster action franchise. That didn’t happen.
13. Boondock Saints: Writer-director Troy Duffy was supposed to be the next Tarantino. His one film pre-flame-out features Willem Dafoe swishing it up as a gay FBI agent.
12. Starship Troopers: Satire of fascism or just miserably acted flick about kids who wanna squash some bugs? At least it stars Doogie Howser!
11. The Toxic Avenger: Troma Films’ masterpiece reveals what happens when a nerdy janitor falls in toxic waste: superpower strength to rip off a person’s arm and beat him with it.
10. Best of the Best: James Earl Jones, Eric Roberts and the US karate team beat Koreans into kimchi.
9. Missing in Action: While Vietnam wasn’t much fun at the time, it’s made for a lot of awesome movies. This one may not have the cinematic merit of Full Metal Jacket, but it has something better: Chuck Norris.
8. Commando: After a former Latin American dictator snatches his daughter, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ex-GI John Matrix must rescue her using only violence and one-liners: “I let him go,” “He’s dead tired.”
7. The Island of Dr. Moreau: Your chance to see Brando with an ice bucket on his head.
6. Billy Madison: The inspiring tale of a lad who just wants to “touch the hiney.”
5. Dead Alive: In this pre-Lord of the Rings gorefest by Peter Jackson, zombies battle with Father McGruder, the kung fu priest.
4. Dolemite: The coolest/worst made blaxploitation flick. A pimp tries to duck the boom mike drifting into shoots.
3. Showgirls: Nomi’s a small-town gal with big dreams to become a topless dancer in Vegas. She must first endure sleazy casino execs, rock stars and much gratuitous nudity.
2. Porky’s: The subplot about anti-Semitism wasn’t the best, but respect must be paid for bringing glory holes to the mainstream and teaching us why Kim Cattrall is called Lassie.
1. Big Trouble in Little China: Kurt Russell needs to save a green-eyed girl from a Chinese man who wants to marry her so that he can take over the universe. Or something like that. Honestly, no one knows what’s actually going on in this guns and kung fu mishmash, but if you spot it while flipping channels you will watch it until the end.
Big Trouble in Little China is an amazing cult classic. What a great little flick.
Bonndock saints? Billy Madison? Porkys? I know the idea is greatest bad movies but they are treading on some serious cult flicks. But Tango and Cash was garbage.
you are not a bad/good person to type bad/good person, so don’t type bad/person again bad/good mother-fucker!
http://www.furthermore.com... of course
Me, Joel and Herb, say, fucking shit, Boondock Bitches is the shiz-nit!
I own 3 of these on DVD and 2 on video. Sly really has created a legacy for himself hasnt he, two entries here. God bless him.
Great list John but you forgot Hudson Hawk.
Also IMHO Boondock Saints wasn’t a bad/good movie. It was a good movie that didn’t reach its audience because the director was alcholic that shot himself in the foot at every oppertunity. It went straight to video and the film never really got the respect it deserved.
However the first sentence of my post might may have discredited me. Eek.
Man, they need to lay off John Carpenter. They Live and Big Trouble do not deserve this honor. And I loved Starship Troopers. And Remo Williams. Man, I’m pissed. I’m switching to FHM.
One word: Pieces.
Baaaaaastard! Baaaaaastard! Baaaaaastard! Baaaaaastard!
Baaaaaaaaaaaaasssstttaaaaaaaarrrrrrrd!
Vix:
“He possess great skills!” -Black Star Ninja in “American Ninja”
Yep. It belongs there.
As does….
Buckaroo Bonzai.
SO MANY DAM COMMENTS I MUST USE CAPS…………..
ALL OF THESE MOVIES ARE MY FAVORITES WOOOOT…….YAY!!!
I’m sure that’s Bruxy’s mantra.
Dead Alive aka Brain Dead has one of the best lines in any film ever where Father McGruder jumps off a tombstone in front of the films hero, shows some kung fu moves and shouts:
‘I KICK ASS FOR THE LORD ! ! !’
They Live and Big Trouble in Little China are great flicks and if they’re on the tube (I don’t care how many times I’ve seen them) I WILL be watching!
Oh, I totally agree with all the Big Trouble in Little China lovers. That movie has aged like fine wine. Classic!
Dead Alive is one of the most insanely grotesque and funny movies ever made. I remember my jaw hitting the floor in 1998 when I found out that the guy who made Dead Alive, Meet the Feebles (An X-Rated version of the muppets) and Bad Taste was given hundreds of millions to make Lord of the Rings….Same goes with Sam Raimi with Spiderman.
Truly these “So bad they are Good Movies” are often the sign of really cutting edge directors…Yes, I consider Paul Verhoeven cutting edge (Love Showgirls, love Starship Troopers and fucking love Robocop!)
Heh. Kim Catrall gets double billing for the top 2 films? Funny.
Actually, I seriously love a lot of films on that list, and I’ve often been labeled as an art-house snob. So I’m not exactly sure what that means…
Tremors would have been a great mention, but REMO WILLIAMS is priceless. Kudos for anyone who remembers that film as fondly as I do!
The only four movies on that list that I DON’T love: Are Tango & Cash (sorry, too michael bay for me), The Boondock Saints and The Island of Dr. Moreau remake and Billy Madison. These movies left me cold and mildly annoyed…
The rest are gems.
Lol, half these movies I either like or love. They’re just suppost to be mindless fun.
Why was Big Trouble in Little China considered a “bad” movie?
And the description for Over The Top
A Stallone steamer about a man who regains his son’s love by arm wrestling
Priceless! And yet everytime it’s on I watch it.
They left American Ninja off the list :)
They live kicks serious ass.
A movie that didn’t make this list that I would add is Buckaroo Banzai!
I have 14 of them on DVD.
I truly am a dork.
I bought the Remo Williams full-screen edition because it’s the only kind they put out and I hate full screen. That movie was worth it.
Other than Hot Dog: The Movie and Showgirls, I love all of these films.
Awesome list.
I cant believe they put Dolemite on the list.
That was the greatest Blax-Ploitation movie EVER.
“Dolemite is my name, and fuckin’ up motha fuckas is my game”
Beastmaster, Tango & Cash, Remo Williams… God, what a great bunch of movies. Why cant more movies be so unashamedly fun like almost all of these were?
I have 4 on DVD… i rock
the funny thing is that is pretty much a list of my favorite films of all time…..
they live – “I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass…and i’m all out of bubblegum”
big trouble..starship troopers……dead alive, tango and cash….over the top..billy madison “the thing about business ethics is….” ……remo……toxic avenger “hey ya fat slob lets see if ya got any guts”..beastmaster
they should retitle that list top 20 awesome films that are awesome
Hey John In Seattle,
I think you’re misunderstanding the post. This isn’t a list of the WORST films of all time… it’s the BEST bad movies. It’s “Yeah, these movies are bad films… but they’re AWESOME!!!”
Obviously the tool who wrote this list doesn’t understand film parody/homage. Big Trouble is a love letter to early adventure film updated to its current time.
Big difference between films that are written to create or pay tribute to a certain film and films that are just so bad they are unwatchable (Gigli, Ishtar, anything with Matthew Lilliard amd/or Freddie Prinze jr., etc.)
I’ll admit Tango & Cash is a fave. Come on, the boot gun, the kick ass SUV, the grenades, the oneliners, Teri Hatcher when she actually looked kinda good. Whats not to like?
Remo is awesome.
And yeah if Biggie Trubs in Lil’ o’ Chiner is on, Ima watchin’ til
it’s over.
remo williams does not deserve to be on that list. i love picking these movies up in the discount bins.
Big Trouble in Little China is a modern classic… I can quote verbatim most of that film and played on an indoor soccer team called “the Wing Kong Exchange.” lol! no kidding.
I cant believe that Boondock Saints is on this list
it is funny that a couple of those movies are my favourites of all time.
I kinda liked Tango & Cash as a kid….Make of that what you will…LOL!
Also, really enjoyed They Live, rented it after I saw the fight scene.. really class stuff
Talking of worst movies of all time (though no the greatest) .. I just notice this on imdb http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0770772/ “I think I love my Wife” – written and directed by… that’s right Chris Rock… Seriously… only fox could have bought this one, it’s bound to be an utter shocker. Had to watch the trailer (like you have to look at a car crash), and even as a guy I found it slightly offensive. oh well, I post it for your enjoyment
brando was great in island of dr moreau.
i paid just to see him in it.
How sad is it that I’ve seen most of these movies? How much sadder is it that I loved every one of them?
Big Trouble is one of my all-time favorites! The electricity baddy kicks ass. But of course, it’s all in the reflexes.
WTF? Big Trouble in Little China is an awesome movie!!! No way it should be on this list.
It was a movie ahead of its time and Kurt Russell is GOLD in this movie!
I loved They Live!
Roddy Rowdy Pipper’s line was the best:
I’m here to kick ass and chew bubblegum…unforntunatly, I’m all out of bubblegum.
Priceless.