April Fools: Review: The Avengers

Director:Joss Whedon
Written by: Zak Penn, Joss Whedon
Starring: Robert Downey, Jr.; Chris Evans; Mark Ruffalo; Chris Hemsworth; Scarlett Johansson; Jeremy Renner; Tom Hiddleston; Samuel L. Jackson

In The Avengers, Nick Fury, director of the peacekeeping organization S.H.I.E.L.D., recruits Iron Man, the Hulk, Thor, and Captain America to save the world from destruction.
Review: Joss Whedon is a legend to nerds around the world. The man brought us Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Serenity (Firefly), and… Well lets just be glad he worked on the Avengers. To be honest his directorial filmography is a bit on the sparse side so it’s quite a wonder that a multi-billion dollar coporation like Disney allowed this amateur access to the set let alone direct the film. Aside from that he’s also known for writing comic books and tv shows so that makes him perfectly qualified to lead Marvel’s banner team into a film, right? Let’s see…

The first thing that you’re introduced to in the film is Tony Stark and the Snark. He wastes little time in re-introducing himself to the audience and allowing you to re-familiarize yourself with some of the finer traits of the character. One thing that wasn’t expected within this film is the ‘Demon in the Bottle’ characteristic of the character as you receive quite a few scenes of the character finding the bottom of the bottle. At times it’s a pretty subtle inclusion in the story but once you realize that he’s grasped onto Pepper (Gwenyth Paltrow) Potts’ left breast for 10 full minutes of screentime non-stop you realize that the character may not be entirely sober. Seriously when Captain America throws his shield and vomit starts splurting out from underneath and forces Loki to turn squeamish the Snark Stark is firmly used as he turns and says “it worked”.

The story doesn’t solely focus on the character of Tony Stark but a lot of it does. Maybe it was in Robert Downey’s contract along with the deal that Iron Man can’t wear his mask in promotional posters. Either way there are other characters in this film and they tend to show up pretty frequently. One of the best interactions in the film is between Scarlett Johannsson’s Black Widow and Mark Ruffalo’s Bruce Banner. S.H.I.E.L.D. has dispatched Widow to recruit Banner for the Avengers initiative but needless to say the good doctor isn’t interested in work. Not that kinda work anyway as he instead eyes the Black Widow up and down wondering what he’ll get in return. The house is then stormed by SHIELD agents who know not what to expect from a gamma irradiated man in heat. The scene does not end well for those poor fools.

The interaction and comraderie is a common theme throughout the film with Chris Evans’ Captain America, Chris Hemsworth’s Thor, and Jeremy Renners Hawkeye rounding out the group. They don’t initially bond very well with each other as the expected issues begin to crop up about there being ‘5 dudes and 1 chick in this sausage factory of a team’ but they quickly iron our their issues by joining Tony Stark at the local watering hole and has great easter eggs throughout for fans of the comics as the iconic phrase “Avengers Assemble” is group texted to everyone as a signal to gather for a night on the town. Eventually the alien threat finally reveals itself within the film and for those who haven’t seen the movie and want to maintain a fresh mind regarding the secrecy of the race I warn you not to read any further.

Tom Hiddleston’s Loki does in fact recruit an alien force to help him take over earth and with the power of the Cosmic Cube he’s able to summon a team of humanoid ducks, that all refer to themselves as “Howard”, and Bamfs to take on Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.

Not familiar with either? For shame but Joss Whedon being the comic scribe extraordinaire certainly pulled out an Ace with these oft forgotten Marvel mainstays and put them to interesting use within the film. They quack, they ‘bamf’, they’re naked and they try to take their grand scheme is to defeat the world by removing Scarlett Johannson’s clothing in order to distract the world leaders long enough for Loki to place himself into power. It almost works. Seriously, I peed myself at the first nipslip and Hulk… let’s just say he wasn’t very ‘Angry’. Unfortunately Tony Stark’s money won the day and allowed him to repulse all bamfs, fry all the ducks, and give his only free hand, the other was still clutching Paltrow, to now firming clutching Widow boob. Yes, this movie is THAT awesome.

I give the film a 12 out of 10.

Pretty crappy story
Needs much Stark Snark
Overwhelming boob grabbage sets it over the top