Hey there boys and girls. Here it is. You’ve been waiting with bated breath, I know, and you are now officially free to resume respiration for here it is: our very first contest.
Thanks to our friends over at Sideshow Collectibles – creators and purveyors of the absolute best geek toys in the whole wide world – and in collaboration with our good friends over at Imagine Dat we are most please to have secured a little something something to give away. For free. Perhaps even to you. What is it, you ask?
This: Sideshow’s new sculpted bust of Hellboy and the Corpse. This bad boy stands a solid twelve inches tall, is part of a limited edition set of 1500 (and thus very, very much a collectible item sure to jump in value) and retails for $150 US. I really don’t want to give it away but we told Sideshow we would so now we’ve got no choice.
And how can you get your grubby little paws on this lovely little artifact? It’s a caption contest! That’s right boys and girls, take a look at that film still down below and write up a pithy comment. Whatever could they be saying? It’s a mystery and whoever solves it in the winningest fashion will, in fact, win. But here’s the rub: we’re feeling a little difficult so your caption must be written as a haiku. You remember those from English class, right? Non-rhyming poem, three lines, first line has exactly five syllables, line two has seven and five again on line three. So get writing! Amaze us with your zen-like prowess. Special points will be given to particularly ‘fiery’ haikus, what with the subjects being a demon and pyrokinetic.
One last note before I set you free to commence: Bear in mind that Imagine Dat is very deliberately run to be a family-friendly site. For geeky families, yes, but for families nonetheless. While no one hereabouts will deny the pleasures inherent in writing anatomically detailed haiku we would recommend that you do those ones purely for your own enjoyment. They may be fun to write, but if Imagine Dat can’t reprint them, you aint winning. That in mind, get writing and when all is well and good click here to enter! Feel free to post your haiku’s in the comments here for everyone’s enjoyment but you MUST send them in through the link above for them to be considered. You’ve got till June 15th. Get writing.
dammit….this is from last year.
oh well, I still won.
Hey there lil’ lady….
I’ll see you in church sunday.
Sinners burn in hell.
I’ve sent this haiku to Imagine Dat’s site as well. Keeping my fingers crossed….
Yes, they would have been a truly worthy apponant.
David, I don’t want to kill the joke because that’s what happens whenever you have to explain it but here it goes. So there was this Canadian doctor that did these tests mapping the brain and stuff and thanks to his research we’ve known for years that you smell burnt toast before you have a stroke. So given that Salma Blair’s character, Liz, is quite the fiery bit of sausage I just put the two together in an expression of whit and charm unheard of until now. Fire. Toast. Burning. White light. My brain hurts.
Just looking over these and there are a few that never got submitted properly … Culture Snob would’ve certainly been in the running with his one … read the rules people! The rules!
Well done Mr Mack. I didnt get the joke but congrats anyway.
Your skin is so pale
My hot pyro goth girlfriend
You excite me so
My face is up here….
nice tattoo hellboy,
but you are bright red.
good luck getting dates.
I’ll tell you something
Kool-Aid in the shower head?
That ain’t right sister!
I’ll say it again
You left rays on the tanning bed
Set Way, Way too high.
Do not fret, my love
Horns and rouge will soon be gone
When Cialis dies
I wrote you a note.
It sounded way too needy.
I need a shirt.
Less haiku offerings:
“There is this little hair RIGHT here thats been bugging me!”
“Is that a quarter in your ear?”
Have you eaten yet?
Fire makes the food taste better.
I really like toast.