Will the insanity never end? Reports are now coming in that the beloved Iron Man trailer is going to be turned into a full length movie version. I’m sure they’ll ruin it for sure.

Wildly Popular ‘Iron Man’ Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film

This made me laugh my ass off. In the Southpark episode entitled “Canada On Strike” the idea is that the whole country of Canada goes on strike unless their demands are met, specifically they want some of that Internet Money. The whole episode is a pretty direct attack on the leadership of the WGA and their strike. As a matter of fact, the leader of the Canadian strike calls himself:

“I’m Steven Abootman, President of the World Canadian Bureau. Also known as the WGA”.

The episode takes some hilarious pokes at Canada (my home) and also makes some solid points about the WGA strike. It’s a little one sided for sure, but amazingly funny nonetheless. Check it out.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

So I stumbled across this little trailer for a project called “Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust”. I don’t even know if it’s real or not… all I can say is that if this is indeed real… it looks so awful that I’m going crazy inside to see it. No really, I want to see this stupid thing… I can’t explain it, but I do.

Ok this made me smile a lot and I ended up reading it about 3 times. We’ve all seen the various 9/11 conspiracy theory videos, well, now there is compelling evidence suggesting that the mighty Death Star was NOT destroyed by some farmer kid firing torpedos down a 2 meter wide exhaust shaft! The following suggests that perhaps there was an inside job conspiracy! This may shock you… read at your own risk!

We’ve all heard the “official conspiracy theory” of the Death Star attack. We all know about Luke Skywalker and his ragtag bunch of rebels, how they mounted a foolhardy attack on the most powerful, well-defended battle station ever built. And we’ve all seen the video over, and over, and over, of the one-in-a-million shot that resulted in a massive chain reaction that not just damaged, but completely obliterated that massive technological wonder.

Like many, I was fed this story when I was growing up. But as I watched the video, I began to realize that all was not as it seemed. And the more I questioned the official story, the deeper into the rabbit hole I went.

Presented here are some of the results of my soul-searching regarding this painful event. Like many citizens, I have many questions that I would like answered: was the mighty Imperial government really too incompetent to prevent a handful of untrained nerf-herders from destroying one of their most prized assets? Or are they hiding something from us? Who was really behind the attack? Why did they want the Death Star destroyed? No matter what the answers, we have a problem.

Below is a summary of my book, Uncomfortable Questions: An Analysis of the Death Star Attack, which presents compelling evidence that we all may be the victims of a fraud of immense proportions.

1) Why were a handful of rebel fighters able to penetrate the defenses of a battle station that had the capability of destroying an entire planet and the defenses to ward off several fleets of battle ships?

2) Why did Grand Moff Tarkin refuse to deploy the station’s large fleet of TIE Fighters until it was too late? Was he acting on orders from somebody to not shoot down the rebel attack force? If so, who, and why?

3) Why was the rebel pilot who supposedly destroyed the Death Star reported to be on the Death Star days, maybe hours, prior to its destruction? Why was he allowed to escape, and why were several individuals dressed in Stormtrooper uniforms seen helping him?

4) Why has there not been an investigation into allegations that Darth Vader, the second-ranking member of the Imperial Government, is in fact the father of the pilot who allegedly destroyed the Death Star?

5) Why did Lord Vader decide to break all protocols and personally pilot a lightly armored TIE Fighter? Conveniently, this placed Lord Vader outside of the Death Star when it was destroyed, where he was also conveniently able to escape from a large-sized rebel fleet that had just routed the Imperial forces. Why would Lord Vader, one of the highest ranking members of the Imperial Government, suddenly decide to fly away from the Death Star in the middle of a battle? Did he know something that the rest of the Imperial Navy didn’t?

In the video of the Death Star’s destruction, Lord Vader clearly exclaims “I have you now” then fires two shots. Those shots never impact — anywhere. Were they merely “added” to the “official” video after the event to make it appear that Lord Vader had at least attempted to fight off his alleged son?

Emperor Palpatine fails to act after being informed of the attack

6) Nerf-Herders defy the laws of physics? How could any pilot shoot a missile into a 2 meter-wide exhaust port, let alone a pilot with no formal training, whose only claim to fame was his ability to “bullseye womprats” on Tatooine? This shot, according to one pilot, would be “impossible, even for a computer.” Yet, according to additional evidence, the pilot who allegedly fired the missile turned off his targeting computer when he was supposedly firing the shot that destroyed the Death Star. How did the missile make a right angle turn after entering the exhaust port? How could a missile shot in the vacuum of space–that would tend to keep going in the same direction as it was released, according to the laws of physics–be *sucked* into an *exhaust* pipe? “Exhaust” means to exhale or blow out… Wouldn’t the missiles have been blown awry of their target rather than sucked in? If it had been an intake pipe, then the “bending” path of the missiles could be plausible. Why have these discrepancies never been investigated, let alone explained?

7) Why has their been no investigation into evidence that the droids who provided the rebels with the Death Star plans were once owned by none other than Lord Vader himself, and were found, conveniently, by the pilot who destroyed the Death Star, and who is also believed to be Lord Vader’s son? Evidence also shows that the droids were brought to one Ben Kenobi, who, records indicate, was Darth Vader’s teacher many years earlier! Are all these personal connections between the conspirators and a key figure in the Imperial government supposed to be coincidences?

8) How could a single missile destroy a battle station the size of a moon? No records, anywhere, show that any battle station or capital ship has ever been destroyed by a single missile. Furthermore, analysis of the tape of the last moments of the Death Star show numerous small explosions along its surface, prior to it exploding completely! Why does all evidence indicate that strategically placed explosives, not a single missile, is what destroyed the Death Star?

9) Prior to the destruction of the Death Star a smuggler named Captain Solo was reportedly given a large sum of money. At a crucial point in the battle, Captain Solo had an unobstructed shot on his choice of the fighters pursuing Skywalker, yet Solo did not take advantage of this opportunity to kill Darth Vader. Although Vader was in the process of firing upon Skywalker’s X-wing, Solo attacked the defensive fighter instead. In the aftermath, Vader escaped, while Solo still had crates of money in his cargo hold. Captain Solo eventually made his way to the Bespin system, where he was seen dining with none other than Vader, who was reportedly obsessed with obtaining Captain Solo’s ship (and the money contained therein). Solo’s ship was then seen flying into the super-structure of the second Death Star, destroying it just after Vader was able to get out (he was seen leaving a shuttle piloted by none other than Luke Skywalker). Yet through this whole sequence of events, the money was never seen removed from Solo’s ship. Was it used to bribe Darth Vader, who (allegedly) assassinated Palpatine? Did anyone other than Vader and Skywalker actually see Emperor Palpatine die?

10 ) During pilot debriefing we leaned that Obi Wan was the one who told Luke to turn off his targeting computer. He said he was told by Obi Wan to “Let go” and “Trust me”. This is the same Obi Wan who was, according to the official story, killed after sabotaging the Death Star by none other than Darth Vader BEFORE speaking to Luke. His convenient death places him inside the Death Star just before the explosions on the surface occur. By faking his death Vader would have given Obi Wan time to plant explosives. The only evidence of his death is his Jedi robe on surveillance cameras. And even that can’t be found because they decided to conveniently let the evidence burn in the planet atmosphere. Also, why are there reports from Endor that Lord Vader, Obi Wan and Yoda were seen together AFTER their deaths? And who other than the Empire has the capacity to fake their deaths?

11) Lord Vader executed an officer for incompetence by allowing the rebels to escape. He then orders another officer to disable the Millennium Falcon’s hyper drive. The rebels once again escape using the disabled hyper drive. Why was the officer responsible for caring out Lord Vader’s order to disable the hyper drive not executed? Why was he in fact given NO disciplinary action what so ever? Why did Lord Vader only disable the hyper drive? If Lord Vader didn’t want the rebels to escape, why didn’t he disable the ship entirely?

12) Why did the captain of the Imperial Stardestroyer not fire upon the lifepod with the droids carrying Death Star plans? The “official story” says he didn’t find the any signs of life. He said “Hold your fire. There are no life forms. It must have been short-circuited.” Why would he be looking for life when it was electronic plans he should have been looking for. Why did he jump to the conclusion it was “short-circuited”. Is he a lifepod engineer?

How can all this be just incompetence and coincidence? IMPOSSIBLE!

The most important question of all is why would a shadowy group in the Empire want to destroy such a technological wonder? Is it an excuse to invade Hoth and steal their oil; a planet which didn’t have anything to do with the attacks. Or is it to take away your religious freedoms to practice the dark side of the force? As incredible as this sounds it makes more sense than the official story.

Well, I’m convinced. “Use the force Luke” my ass! This was clearly an inside job! :P

(from Debunking911.com)

Good freaking grief. My friend Brad over at Ropeofsilicon pointed us to this video for the upcoming (and bad looking) Superhero movie. The thing is, it’s the most perfect spoof of the recent Tom Cruise nonsense I’ve seen to date. I actually laughed out loud watching this thing. Shame the movie will suck.

This is an excerpt from last night’s live installment of The Movie Blog: Uncut. Doug points out to us all that Cancer has picked a fight it can not win. (WARNING: Some of you may be surprised to find out that Doug uses profanities in this editorial rant).

Help spread the word of Swayze’s impending victory and post this video on your web site/facebook/myspace/blog by grabbing the YouTube version of this video here.

This may just be the cutest thing I’ve seen all year. The greatest film of all time described by a 3 year old girl. She gives us these eternal words of sage wisdom: “Don’t talk back to Darth Vader, because he’ll getcha”. Wise child.

This is becoming a new annual tradition! I put this up last year, and so I put it up again, and so will it return next year. Happy Valentines day!

It thankfully looks like the Writer’s Strike will be over sometime this week. But… Movie Blog reader Phil Gee asks the question “what would the Oscars look like in 2009 if the strike didn’t end”? Well… he found a possible answer to that question over at cracked.

So here are some possible movie titles you can look forward to if the WGA strike doesn’t end:

Movie Blog reader Scott sent me this little video today that really captures the spirt of Indie movie sound tracks. Check it out:

My buddy Nick from Empire sent this to me this morning. Check it out:

You know, when all you have is water to drink, you think it’s pretty awesome… but once to taste something better, then plain old water just doesn’t seem all that great anymore. The same is true of Batman. All we’ve had the last couple of years is that hack, Christopher Nolan’s “vision” of Batman, and because we were starved, we all thought it was the best thing since sliced bread (me included)

BUT NOW… I have seen and been reminded of the TRUE NATURE of The Dark Knight.

Watch this video… but be warned fair citizens… if you watch it, the stuff Nolan is giving you will never satisfy again! (found via FilmJunk)

This was just too cute not to share. A website called Worth1000 had a photoshop contest for making different people look like they were playing the iconic roles from Star Wars. Some of the results were amazing. Here are just a couple of them… head on over to the site to see more. (found via Cinematical)

Beware of Shrek Maul

Dick Cheney As Jabba

Darth Bean

Jackson-3PO (This one honestly creeps me out)

I thought this was just hilarious. Every year starting around this time, studios will start putting ads in the major movie trade magazine for their movies that they want Academy members to consider for Oscars. You’ve seen these ads… they’re usually the movie poster topped with the phrase “FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION”. It’s basically their way of begging for an Oscar (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

Anyway, Joey send me this from Defamer today, and I thought it was brilliant. Seems the people behind Walk Hard are itching for some gold too. Genius marketing.

The very first time I saw “Ask a Ninja” I wasn’t impressed and actually thought it was sort of corny. However, I ended up seeing a few more installments of it and it really grew on me… now I think the guy is a comedic genius. Anyway, Ask A Ninja just did a little video about the current writer’s strike and I thought it was too hilarious not to share here.

SUPREME BLOOD FANG FORCE FOREVER!!!!

It’s only 15 years late, but Indiana Jones 4 is indeed on the way. They’ve finished the principal photography and the film is now in post-production. They’ve even released a teaser poster. But there were a couple of other concepts that apparently got rejected at the last minute.

Here is the real poster That you’ve all already seen

Now here are a couple of the ones that got rejected last minute:

It’s always fascinating seeing the Hollywood creative process at work. (Thanks to the mighty GleepwurpTheEyeBiter for the pics)

A top secret version of the original Cloverfield teaser got leaked to me that actually shows us the monster. The trailer looks exactly the same as the regular one, but the monster is revealed at about 1:30 into it. I KNEW IT!

I was just doing a little random internet surfing the other day looking at random crap when I came across this pretty funny little list of classic lines from Star Wars that take on a whole new meaning when you replace key words with the word “PANTS”. Some of the lines were dumb… but some were classic. Here are some examples:

“I find your lack of pants disturbing”

“She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down there to retrieve them. See to it personally commander”

There are a whole bunch more over here that you can take a look at.

This was too funny not to share. The Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie may have been a total failure (oh man, I can’t even begin to tell you how disappointed I was with that movie… it wasn’t even as good as 90% of the shows… such a let down), but there is no denying that the Aqua Teens have left their mark on history.

1-31-07 will forever remind us just how freaking stupid, delusional and paranoid we as a society really have become. And that’s just another reason to be grateful to the Aqua Teens.

A touching story about 4 men stricken with tourette’s who have become lost, until one man comes to give them hope. (thanks to Dan for the heads up)