One of the things that elicit the outbursts of “Give me a break” from movie audiences almost more than anything else in theaters is when blatant product placements are noticed. Take Iron Man for example… when Tony Stark gets out of his car and Jon Favreau (his driver and also the director of the movie) hands him a CLEARLY blatant “Burger King” bag.

Personally, I don’t mind product placements as long as they fit into the scene. For example, if the scene calls for a laptop in it, I don’t mind if the laptop has a clearly visible Apple logo on it. If a scene calls for a cell phone, I don’t care if it’s visibly a Blackberry. (A whole post could be done on product placement).

So how do we feel when we see movies getting in bed with products even just for the marketing? There is a new trend in film marketing where we see a commercial that is for both the movie AND a particular product at the same time. Here are a couple of examples:

IRON MAN AND LG CELL PHONES

SPEED RACER AND ROADRUNNER INTERNET

ZOHAN AND THE NBA

Now this sort of market whoring has been around for a while… but lately it seems it’s getting more and more prevalent. Seems like every time I turn on the TV I see one of these cross bread commercials. And I don’t know why… but they bug the hell out of me. It’s funny… product placement (if done right) doesn’t really phase me at all… but this kind of marketing makes me hate both the product and the movie just a little bit inside.

So my question is, what do you think of these commercials? Do they bother you? Do they not phase you at all? What are some other movie/product commercial mixes that you remember seeing?

Picture this scene. It’s the Olympic games in China and we’re at the diving competition. A German diver stands majestically at the base of the diving board as cameras flash around him in a dance of light like an indoors arora borealis. The crowd starts to quite down and the flashes die off. The arena is now calm and quite and the German diver extends up onto his toes, bounces, and then quickly strides up the diving board… gives one giant bounce… flies up into the air…. and then when in the air he inexplicably starts flailing around like an injured bird with his arms and legs kicking everywhere and eventually comes crashing down onto the water in a smaking belly flop. The majestic diver looked more like an 8 year old fat kid making his very first jump off a board than a world class olympic diver and the results were horrible. The judges show their scores that average out to be about 0.5 out of 10. The German finishes in last place.

The German diver and his coach angrily run up to the judges podium and protest! “Why did you give me such a low score?” the German demands. “Because your dive was terrible with no form, no grace, no technique and it all resulted in a terrible belly flop. That’s why.” respond the judges. “But…” the German shoots back at them, “That’s exactly what I was TRYING to do. That’s what I was going for!”

So the question is… since a horrible, graceless, ugly and awful dive is exactly what the diver was going for… should the judges re-evaluate their scores and give him a 10? Or should the judges stick with their score because regardless of intent, a bad dive is a bad dive and should be scored as such?

To me, the answer to that question is obvious. If a dive was ugly and awful to watch with little to no merit to it, then regardless of intent, it was still an ugly, awful to watch dive with little to no merit. Period.

Yet some people in an attempt to defend movies they like will pull out this card. “You don’t understand” they’ll say. “That’s what they were trying to do”.

Now before I go on any further, let me say once again that all film is subjective. Like any piece of art we can all see different things, we can all have different emotional responses and we can all have different impressions when looking at the exact same thing. That’s the most beautiful thing about film. I have no problem saying I appreciated a movie that others thought sucked, and no problems when others enjoyed a movie that I thought was horrible. That’s the formula for good discussion. What I DON’T like is when people (and I confess I do this myself sometimes) make excuses by trying to make it look like faults with the movie are actually YOUR faults.

Let’s look at a movie like “Meet The Spartans”. The film was nothing but an orgy of poorly delivered pop culture spoofs that had little no zero comedic merit, a cesspool of incoherent dialog, no story, no plot, no sense, no humor garbage. It’s totally 100% ok for someone to look at that film and say to me “I disagree, for whatever reason it resonated with me, made me laugh and I was entertained”. That’s totally fine… I’ll think they’re nuts… but no problem. But I actually had a couple of people say this to me:

“But John, I just think you didn’t get it. The movie is supposed to be that way. They meant to make it a collection of pop culture jokes. I think if you watch it again and kept that in mind, you might like it a lot more”

Just because a director MEANT to do something, doesn’t mean it was the right thing to do… nor does it mean they did it well.

Let’s stick with the “Meet the Spartans” example for a moment. I understand they were going for spoof pop culture jokes. I get it. But a few other films did that too, with the only difference being that they did it well! Films like “Top Secret”, “Hot Shots Part Deux” and the king of them all “Airplane” all did what “Meet the Spartans” was going for… but they did it, and Spartans failed.

Let’s bring this up to “Speed Racer”. One of my biggest complaints about that film was the dialog. To me, it was beyond horrible. It was cheesy, lame and simply indigestible. I wrote in my review that I completely understood it wasn’t supposed to be Shakespeare. They weren’t going for Oscars on this one. I understand this. But that’s no excuse for not still making the dialog “good”. Make it silly, make it tongue in cheek… but you can do that and still make it GOOD. Many other films have done that.

Once again, it’s totally fine for someone to say to me “I disagree John, I thought the dialog was fine and it worked”. Fantastic! Just don’t make the excuse “That’s what they were trying to do” because that just simply doesn’t hold up.

- How would a cop respond if you told him you MEANT to park in the passing lane?

- How would your girlfriend respond to you blowing your load in your pants before she even got them off you if you told her you MEANT to do that?

- How would your College professors respond to you saying you should be given a pass because you MEANT to get an “F”?

- How would we respond to Brett Ratner claiming he should be anointed the next Francis Ford Coppola because he MEANT to disappoint so many people with X-Men 3?

Obviously you don’t criticize a film for having not enough laughs when it’s not a comedy. Obviously you don’t criticize a film for not having enough action when it’s a love story. Obviously you don’t criticize a film for not having good animation when it’s not an animated film. You do have to look at a film in relation to its genre and adjust your expectations from there. HOWEVER you can’t just take a flaw in a film and slap the “They meant to do that” band-aid on it. Bad dialog is bad dialog regardless of genre or target audience. Bad acting is bad acting regardless of genre or target audience. Unfunny jokes are unfunny jokes. Bad action is bad action. So on and so on.

There is certainly a place for understanding a director’s intent. But intent does not replace the result. The German diver’s intent does not change the fact that the end result was a poor, terrible dive that deserved a last place finish. In the end, the label “The Meant To Do That” can be slapped on absolutely anything regardless of how truly bad or awful something is, and thus it’s pretty much a meaningless argument.

Let’s just enjoy the movies we enjoy and express the reasons they worked for us without feeling the need to make excuses for what other people see as flaws. We don’t need to “defend” then things we enjoy, rather just express what, how and why we enjoyed them. Ultimately I think that leads to better discussion anyway.

Just my two cents on a grey Monday morning/afternoon.

Some people will often complain and lament about the sheer number of comic book movies coming out these days. For some, it’s not that they mind comic book movies per se, but rather wonder why so many are getting made. Do we really NEED all these superhero movies?

Well, obviously we don’t NEED all these Superhero movies… for that matter we don’t NEED any, but we sure seem to enjoy them. But to get back to the question of why so many are made, I think there are 2 important reasons:

1) They make money - No, they are ALL huge blockbusters, but for the most part these comic book films pull in a decent amount of cash for the studios

2) Pre-existing Characters with loads of source material and a pre-existing audience - This one is hard to ignore. It’s one thing to try to create a character for a movie that you think will be marketable and get an audience interested in… but if you can get a character that already exists… that people already know about and already has a built in audience, then you’re starting with one leg up.

In my opinion, a number of comic book characters are some of the richest characters in all of fiction and thus have some amazing stories that deserve to be told. So even though there are tons of comic book movies already made as well as on the way, I’d like to suggest a few lesser known (By the average non-comic book fan public) characters that I think deserve their own movies.

The following list doesn’t necessarily represent movies that I think would actually make any money, nor do I think they deserve their own movies because of how cool their powers are… but rather because of how rich I think the characters themselves are along with their stories.

NIGHTWING

His real name is Dick Grayson and he was the original side kick to Batman known as Robin. Eventually as he got older he went on to become his own hero and called himself Nightwing. Another kid become Robin… the Joker eventually killed him, and now Batman on is his third Robin. Good help is hard to find I guess. Anyway, what makes Nightwing so interesting to me is the troubled relationship he’s had with both himself and Batman. They love each other like a father and son, but Grayson is also often enraged by Bruce. They’ve had several falling outs as Dick struggles to get out from the Batman’s shadow and be his own man. Still, they’re always there for each other. As a matter of fact, Grayson actually become Batman for a while after the events of Bane which culminated in one of the best scenes I’ve ever read in a comic book… when Bruce returns and they have a very moving Father/Son talk (I actually think this was the first time Bruce referred to them as Father/Son). He’s a rich character.

CABLE

For some time in the X-Men universe, Cable was a mystery. An man of insane power… arguably one of the most powerful beings in all of the Marvel universe when unchecked… but he often has to use up most of his considerable power to keep a deadly techno-virus in his body in check or it will kill him. Even though he is a being of almost cosmic power, he comes off more like a Rambo character. A solider. A grim hard nosed warrior. He’s actually the son of Scott Summers (aka Cyclops of the X-Men) and a clone of Jean Grey (it’s a long story) who was sent as a baby to grow up in a future time line, later to return fully grown and quite jaded. With his parents being who they are, it’s not surprising how much power he has. For a time Marvel had another version of Cable running around, a younger version of Cable who wasn’t infected with the techno-virus that they just called X-Man. Cable was one of the few characters that could go toe to toe with Apocalypse.

BISHOP

Bishop is another character from the X-Men universe and played one of the most pivotal roles in probably my favorite comic story line of all time… “The Age Of Apocalypse”, in which he is the only being alive who retains a memory of the alternate universe that was destroyed when Professor X’s son, Legion, killed Magneto in the past (it’s a REALLY long story). Bishop was actually born in the future and came back in time. To me, it’s not so much Bishop’s past that makes him interesting, but rather his personality… his character. He’s one of those “deadly serious” chacraters… I’ve always sort of pictured him as the “Worf” of the X-Men universe. Bishop has the ability to absorb and redirect or store energy that is directed at him. This power actually helped him last a little while in a fight against Apocalypse himself… but Apocalypse was just too much.

AZRAEL

I simply love this charcter. His real name is Jean-Paul Valley. Genetically bread by a secret order to be a lethal assassin (this guy is just loaded with mental health issues) he eventually meets Batman and they become allies. After Bane fought and defeated Batman (leaving Bruce Wayne paralyzed), Bruce leaves Gotham and passes the mantle of the Bat onto Jean-Paul who became the new Batman for over a year. Slowly however, his “issues” start to get the better of him and he becomes more and more violent, even killing criminals. When Robin confronts Jean-Paul about his tactics, Jean-Paul threatens to kill him and sends him away. Eventually, Jean-Paul (as Batman) faces Bane and does what Bruce was unable to do… defeat him. As Jean-Paul begins to go more and more over the edge, Bruce Wayne finally comes back and battles Azrael to take back his identity of the Batman. Bruce barely prevails and let’s Jean-Paul go who then reclaims his “Azrael” identity. Later, a healthier Azrael (who later becomes known as an Agent of the Bat) begins to work with Batman again. It’s such a twisted little story, but so deep and so rich of a character that I can’t believe how many people have never even heard of the guy. I’d love to see a movie made about him (it’ll never happen though).

BEN REILLY (Scarlet Spider / Spider-Man)

You know what sucks? Waking up one day to find out that you’re not who you thought you were, but rather just a clone of who you thought you were. That’s the situation that Ben Reilly (a name he later gave himself) found himself in when he discovered that he wasn’t Peter Parker after all… but rather just a clone of Peter Parker and had been living his life for a some time. Although the “Clone Saga” isn’t really loved by faithful Spider-Man comic readers (It was ok, but I didn’t like it all that much myself) I was fascinated by Ben Reilly. Not so much for who he is, but rather the issues he has to face. I don’t know how on earth you could do a Ben Reilly (Scarlet Spider) movie apart from a full fledged Spider-Man movie, but if a way could be found I’d love it.

So what do you think of these character? Would you be interested in seeing a movie based on any of them? Why or why not? Also, what other lesser known (ie, the average person on the street probably doesn’t know who they are) comic charcters do you think would make for a rich movie?

Batman Begins is not only a great comic book movie, nor is it merely a great movie overall… it’s also a very important film. It took the comic book genre film into a darker more serious tone (while still being quite fun) that previously hadn’t really been done with mainstream comic movie fare. It opened the doors for further diversity in the genre that had previously been only dreamed about by comic geeks, but thought unrealistic by much of Hollywood.

However, I think there is also a tendency in some people (me included) to confuse “darker” with “deeper”. Following my viewing of Iron Man (which I really enjoyed) I got involved in some discussions with people where comparisons were made between Iron and Bat. And in most of those conversations at least one person would usually mention “Yes, but Batman Begins was a deeper film”. And at first, I just agreed with that without thinking about it… but upon further reflection, I don’t agree with that statement at all. Yes Batman Begins was a darker more serious movie… but I disagree that it was intrinsically a deeper movie. When you really look at all the elements, I think an argument could be made that the story in the Iron Man movie was every bit as deep as Batman Begins… it just clearly wasn’t as dark.

That got me thinking about both of these movies that I enjoyed so much. There was a starting assumption (by me as well) that the Iron Man movie, no matter how good, wouldn’t be as good as Batman Begins. I think there is a worth while debate to be had on that creative and subjective issue… but for now I would just like to propose 5 ways that Iron Man was actually better than Batman Begins (yes, there are ways Batman was better, but that’s for another conversation).

1) MINIMAL LOVE INTEREST STORY LINE
If you inquired all Batman Begins fans around the world about what one thing they DIDN’T like about the movie, almost universally (with exceptions) the answer coming back with be “The damn love story with the wooden walking Tom Cruise baby incubator”. It felt like every time Rachel Dawes was on screen the pace and motion of the movie ground to a complete halt… and the love interest was never sold. It felt forced and unnatural. Iron Man on the other hand had a very minimalist approach to the love interest story line… the two never even kiss. Not to mention, Gwyneth Paltrow fit in with the movie much better and never got in the way. She, and her relationship with Tony Stark actually HELPED the story as opposed to hinder it.

2) YOU CAN SEE THE DAMN ACTION
My one critique of Christopher Nolan’s direction when it came to Batman Begins was how he choose to shoot the action sequences. Whenever Batman was going to do something really cool (like beat the hell out of the henchmen at the docks), Nolan either choose to have the camera cut away to something else so you only HEAR Batman doing his thing, or committed the heinous sin of shaking the bloody camera around like an German midget having an epileptic seizure to create a fake and artificial sense of “action” or “intensity”. This drove me nuts. Iron Man on the other had generally always had him in frame, in the shot allowing us to see what he was doing. Thank you Mr. Favreau!

3) IRON MAN HAPPENS IN THE REAL WORLD
There’s something about brining the fantastic into the mundane that makes the fantastic all the more awe inspiring. Prior to Jurassic Park, I had seen lots of movies with Dinosaurs, but they were usually back in time (where you would expect to see Dinosaurs). But when Jurassic Park brought those creatures into the the world and time we live in, there was something far more magical and awe inspiring about it. Batman Begins doesn’t really exist in our world totally. The styles, technology (better and worse) and atmosphere of “Gotham City” (which is also fictional) are all slightly off from the real world. And so, when the environment is a fictional world, the fictional characters dwelling in it seem a TOUCH less fantastic because they’re not in the world we inhabit. Iron Man on the other hand takes place in the context of our world… which for me personally, made it engage my imagination all the more. Some people won’t agree with this point, and that’s fair since it is subjective.

4) TONY STARK IS A MORE ENTERTAINING CHARACTER THAN BRUCE WAYNE
Please note I’m not saying Tony Stark is a BETTER character than Bruce Wayne. I don’t think he is… but there’s no denying that when sitting in a movie theater, the moments that Tony Stark is on screen are more entertaining to watch than Bruce Wayne. In Iron Man, Stark is a funny, quick tonged character who almost always said or did something on screen that made you laugh or love him even more. His quick one liners and general disposition made watching him on screen almost as fun as watching Iron Man on screen. Same can’t really be said for Bruce.

5) IRON MAN HAD BETTER DIALOG
Say what you will, but man… that little speech Rachel Dawes gives Bruce as they’re driving in the car in front of Falcone’s was nauseating. “Who will stand for justice… yadda yadda yadda”. There were actually several monologues in the film that had a high cheese factor to them… some awesome ones too. Iron Man just seemed to have tighter dialog. Sillier sometimes for certain… but rarely diving into the deep blue cheese. It was usually witty and with the wink of an Iron eye at times… but for what it was it was pretty tight.

Once again, I’m not here saying Iron Man was a BETTER movie that Batman Begins (although I might later). Both are fantastic movies, and both have their strengths and weaknesses. These are just some of the areas where I though Iron Man was superior. Are there other ways in which you thought Iron Man had the upper hand?

As we rapidly approach May 22nd and the release of the long awaited Indiana Jones movie, our good friends and Canadian brethren over at MoviesOnline.Ca have put up a little post outlining their 5 favorite Indiana Jones moments. They read like this:

1) Indy shooting the expert swordsman in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”: As a practitioner of martial arts my entire life I had a problem with the blocky and cheesy combat in the indie films but have to say this moment was pure genius.

2) Indy and the boulder in the opening scene of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” : This is one of many great sequences where indie ‘escapes’. This one was fun because it was a giant boulder which makes it stand out but as a whole there is a multitude of great scenes in this movie.

3) Indy reaches under a closing door to grab his hat in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”: Another great scene. Almost as good if not equal to the giant boulder chase scene.

4) The mine cart escape from the “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom”. This was a fun and intense chase and a really creative and new spin on the ‘car chase’ angle instead making it be mine carts on tracks.

5) The snake pit in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”: Humanizing Indie and showing what really scares him was funny and effective in really bringing the human element to Indiana Jones.

I love their list… personally I would have found a place in there for that moment in “The Last Crusade” when Indy tells his captors that they’ll never find Marcus Brody because Marcus is a master of 10 languages, knows how to blend into cultures and disappear… yadda yadda yadda… and then the camera cuts to Marcus totally lost and confused in a busy marketplace asking people if they speak English. I HOWLED at that… still do after seeing it 30 times.

So what about you? What are some of YOUR favorite Indiana Jones moments?

My friend Wintle bought me a 50 pack of Sword And Sandal films before I left for Hollywood. He then bought a pack for himself, and we began discussion about going through the series together. Soon after, we decided to share our journey with all of you; and thus the Macho Movie Review was born.

Over the next 50 weeks, we plan to have a short podcast for you, discussing the Macho Movie of the week. We will be going through the Warriors Movie Pack made available through Mill Creek Entertainment. You can find the set for about 20-30 USD. We encourage all interested to buy the pack, and/or download the films that are public domain.

The Rating System: To go with the theme, we will be rating the films out of 9. The hydra has 9 heads, so we will be giving each film a rating out of that number - and will post a picture. For those of you that wish to skip the podcast and are not that keen on buying the set - keep an eye on the hydra. If you you see a film with 7-9 Hydra heads - you may want to track that particular film down.

Today Wintle and I discuss the ninth film in the series: Hercules Against The Moon Men

Plot synopsis from IMDB: In ancient Greece a race of evil aliens from the moon land on earth. For years they’ve terrorized the nearby city of Samar, demanding children for sacrifice. Now, the queen of Samar has made a pact with the moon men to conquer the world and become the most powerful woman alive. However, the residents of Samar, sick of all the chaos, cheer when the mighty Hercules shows up to put a stop to it all.

For those of you following along with us in the series, please share your thoughts in the comments section!

Ladies and Gentlemen; it is my great pleasure to present our review of Hercules Against The Moon Men:

To Listen To The Podcast Click Here

Wintle deems this film to be worth 5 Hydra Heads out of 9.

Nagy deems this film to be worth 6 Hydra Head out of 9.

Well, it’s now officially here. The summer movie season of 2008 is about to launch tonight with the official release of Iron Man. This looks to be a great summer for movies (although we all said the same thing about the summer of 2007 and that was filled with disappointments).

The interesting thing is that even though there are some highly anticipated blockbusters scheduled for this summer, there are also a bunch of very good looking smaller films sneaking in under the radar that most people aren’t talking about. So I thought it would be a good idea to run down a list of the films coming out between now and the end of August and lay out what I think will be worth watching, what won’t, give a prediction or two and then see how those pan out at the end of the summer.

So now, in order of release date, we’re pleased to present to you The Movie Blog’s Summer of 2008 Movie Guide:

IRON MAN
Grade Prediction: B+

Release Date: May 1st
IMDB Page
Trailer

There isn’t really much more that needs to be said about this flick. When I first heard about it, I thought it was a stupid idea because quite frankly I think Iron Man is a lame, poor man’s Batman comic book character. But the more I’ve seen the more I’ve been impressed. This COULD end up being the best movie of the summer.

MADE OF HONOR
Grade Prediction: C

Release Date: May 2nd
IMDB Page
Trailer

With all thesuccess of Grey’s Anatomy, I’m a little surprised a studio hasn’t tried a Patrick Dempsey lead flick till now. Must confess that like everyone else I thought the OTHER title for this movie was “My Best Friend’s Wedding 2″, but after I saw a couple of the trailers it does seem like it will have it’s moments. Not many of them… but some. If Julia Roberts makes a cameo though I’m walking out.

REDBELT
Grade Prediction: D-

(Already seen)
Release Date: May 9th
IMDB Page
Trailer

A movie that takes place in the world of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) that has a talented lead in it like Chiwetel Ejiofor and written and directed by someone like David Mamet should be a winner. Sadly, despite Ejiofor’s best efforts to save this movie with his performance, the flick falls flat on its face due to a massive heart attack of disconnection from reality. Far too many of the key plot devices were stretches beyond the normal human being’s imaginations to the point that the movie just because nonsense.

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS
Grade Prediction: D

Release Date: May 9th
IMDB Page
Trailer

Can someone please explain to me why and how Ashton Kutcher continues to get leads in films? How many time does this guy have to prove he can NOT carry a film and that he is not a box office draw in the least? He’s a very nice guy, and seems to have a lot of smarts when it comes to the business behind the camera, I just think he needs to stay there. Nothing about this film gives me any hope other than the possibility of some funny moments that might salvage the flick for some people… but not many.

SPEED RACER
Grade Prediction: C+

Release Date: May 9th
IMDB Page
Trailer

This film will be the biggest box office disappointment of the summer (or Sex and the City). The prospects for this thing being very good to me dropped a hell of a lot the moment I saw a kid and a monkey in all the trailers. The visual style is also something that I don’t think will resonate with many people. I even skipped a screening of this due to how poor I think it looks. A friend of mine who didn’t skip the screening said he liked it, so well have to wait and see. Until then, I’m sticking with a C+ prediction.

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN
Grade Prediction: B

Release Date: May 16th
IMDB Page
Trailer

When a movie can start off with fantastic source material before they shoot a single frame of film, it gives it a much better chance at high quality. It doesn’t get much better than the Narnia series of books. The first film was done VERY well and captures all the wonder and imagination of the book, and there’s no reason to suspect this one will be any different. The trailers for this one haven’t impressed as much as the first though.

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL
Grade Prediction: A-

Release Date: May 22nd
IMDB Page
Trailer

Let’s be honest here, this film should have been made 10 years ago. Having said that, who cares? It’s Indiana Jones! Oh it does the heart good to see Indy swing into action one last time. Is he looking a little old? Yes. Will he be able to pull off the action as well as he did 20 years ago? No. But it’s still Indiana Jones! And the most important thing to remember in all this is who is directing it. NEVER underestimate Steven Spielberg. He is the best director of our age and he will find a way to make this work.

POSTAL
Grade Prediction: C

Release Date: May 23rd
IMDB Page
Trailer

Uwe Boll, possibly the most infamous director of all time, comes at us once again. Only this time something strange is happening… there are actually some POSITIVE reviews for this film floating around from actual reputable critics who sounded just as shocked that they liked it as I am to hear they liked it. Personally I love Uwe Boll (not his films tough). I think he’s one of the most interesting and entertaining personalities in the business today. Still, I just can’t bring myself to believe Postal will be much better than anything else he’s directed so far.

WAR INC.
Grade Prediction: B

Release Date: May 23rd
IMDB Page
Trailer

I just love this cast. John Cusack, Joan Cusack, Marisa Tomei (good grief this women just keeps getting hotter and hotter with age) and Ben Kingsley. On the surface you’d be forgiven for suspecting this was a sequel to Grosse Pointe Blank (one of my all time favorites) considering the type of role John Cusack plays and that his sister is in it… but apparently it’s not. It looks very un-pc and quite witty.

THE FOOT FIST WAY
Grade Prediction: B-

(Already Seen)
Release Date: May 30th
IMDB Page
Trailer

A cute little comedy that played some festivals a while ago but no one picked up on… at least until Will Ferrell saw it and loved it. That’s enough to get it at least a limited release and some promotion. The film is cute and funny… just not as funny as Will Ferrell would have you believe. Still, it has some wonderful laugh out loud moments and certainly a bunch of quotable lines to boot. Entertaining, but not brilliant.

SEX AND THE CITY
Grade Prediction: C+

Release Date: May 30th
IMDB Page
Trailer

I can’t remember exactly, but I believe I had a string of something like 4 or 5 women I dated in a row who all WORSHIPED Sex and the City. They had all the DVDs, developed massive shoe addictions and basically based their entire understanding of men on that one show. For a time, no other force on earth had more influential power over women than that show. But oddly enough it seems the movie reincarnation is limping its way into theaters. The trailers have been awful and there has far less buzz than I anticipated. Still, the show had some magic and it has some gifted writers… could be cute, but I wouldn’t get your hopes too high.

THE STRANGERS
Grade Prediction: B

Release Date: May 30th
IMDB Page
Trailer

It takes a lot for me to get excited about a horror flick these days. Don’t get me wrong, there are a bunch that come out that I have fun watching… but not a lot that gets me EXCITED to see it. For whatever reason, The Strangers is one of those horror films that I’m finding myself pumped to see. Liv Tyler has been getting stronger and stronger as an actress, the premises looks creepy as hell, the trailer was great and the over all feel of it is solid. Looking forward to this one.

KUNG FU PANDA
Grade Prediction: C

Release Date: June 6th
IMDB Page
Trailer

With a few exceptions, the world of non-Pixar producer 3D animated films is a sad wasteland. Generally speaking, I’ve yet to see a really smart and high quality film outside of Pixar’s doors. I certainly don’t think Kung Fu Panda will be one of the exceptions. Nothing in the trailers have suggested anything other than a silly romp (note: you CAN make kid films that are more than just silly, burp and fart jokes flicks) movie with any reedeming value or quality. The animation does look terrific, and I’m sure the kids will giggle through it… so it won’t be a total waste… maybe some potential for cuteness.

YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN
Grade Prediction: D-

Release Date: June 6th
IMDB Page
Trailer

Why is it that in every single Adam Sandler comedy, Sandler has to make himself and his character the best looking and toughest guy around? Seriously, in just about all his comedies he can kick everyone’s ass. Sorry, I look at him and don’t feel the least bit physically threatened. I used to LOVE Sandler comedies… but they’ve become so damn dry and weak that I just wish he would give up and do more serious roles (No kidding, the man is a GREAT dramatic actor. I actually thought he deserved at least a LITTLE Oscar buzz for is performance in Reign Over Me last year). This looks like another cookie cutter Sandler comedy… just with less laughs.

THE INCREDIBLE HULK
Grade Prediction: B

Release Date: June 13th
IMDB Page
Trailer

I’m one of the few people who actually appreciated the first Hulk movie for what it was and what Ang Lee was going for. Still, there is no denying most people were disappointed, and even I was wanting a lot more “Hulk Smash”. This re-boot seems to be doing everything right to that end. They got a great cast, hired a solid action film director and everything seems to be geared towards making this Hulk film, the one comic geeks like myself are wanting to see.

THE HAPPENING
Grade Prediction: C+

Release Date: June 13th
IMDB Page
Trailer

M. Night Shyamalan (AKA “The Sham-Hammer”)is back yet again. I’m really not sure what to make of this guy anymore. It seems like his films are getting progressively worse (dear heavens “The Lady In The Water” was one of the worst pieces of garbage I’ve seen in years), but there is no denying the man has talent and has done some great flicks in the past. So where does that leave us now? Not really sure… the premise seems interesting, but after Lady I’m apprehensive about trusting him.

THE LOVE GURU
Grade Prediction: D-

Release Date: June 20th
IMDB Page
Trailer

I love Mike Myers and just about everything he’s ever done (My favorite comedy of his is still “So I Married An Axe Murderer”). It’s been a little while since he’s done a live action comedy, so I was thrilled to hear about The Love Guru. Well, that excitement turned into pure horror when I saw the trailer. Not a single laugh, not a single grin came forth from my mouth upon watching it. And is it just me or has he recylced a bunch of unused mini-me jokes from deleted Austin Powers movies? This thing looks horrible.

GET SMART
Grade Prediction: C+

Release Date: June 20th
IMDB Page
Trailer

When I first heard that they were doing a Get Smart movie with Steve Carell in the lead roll I nearly jumped out of my seat. This is the definition of PERFECT casting. They added Anne Hathaway, The Rock and Ken Davitian and I got even more excited. Well… most of that enthusiasm is gone. The film looks a bit lazy and nothing that I’ve seen has made me laugh fully out loud to this point. Still… with this concept and this cast SOME good things are bound to come out of it… I’m just not counting on a lot.

WALL-E
Grade Prediction: A+

Release Date: June 27th
IMDB Page
Trailer

I’ve said this for a long time, but I’ll say it again… Pixar is not only the best animation studio around… they are the very best movie studio PERIOD in the business. Think about it… every single film they’ve put out has been solid. Their WORST film is still better than 98% of anything else put out by anyone else. Their last offering “Ratatouille” was the highest rated film of the year and should have been nominated for best picture. Wall-E looks like it takes it up another notch or two. This will probably end up being the best over all film of the summer.

WANTED
Grade Prediction: B

Release Date: June 27th
IMDB Page
Trailer

Along with The Incredible Hulk, I think Wanted has a chance to end up being the biggest surprise movie of the summer of 2008. Great cast, the action looks fantastic and the premise is a solid one (even if not totally original). Right now the film is getting lost in the big marketing pushes of the big blockbusters… and that’s fine… but this will be one I’ll be at opening night for sure. As a side note, despite the fact that Angelina Jolie looks like she’s in desperate need of a hamburger, I’ve never seen her look sexier than she does in this flick. MMMmmmm.

FINDING AMANDA
Grade Prediction: B-

Release Date: June 30th
IMDB Page
Trailer - Not Yet Available

A great sounding twisted little comedy with Matthew Broderick and Brittany Snow and directed by Peter Tolan who wrote some really fine comedies like “Analyze This”, “Bedazzled” and “America’s Sweethearts”. A man apparently riddled with every addiction there is tries to win his wife back by traveling to Las Vegas to “rescue” his niece (Snow) from a life of drugs and prostitution. When you mention Broderick in the lead role I get totally sold on the idea. However… do keep in mind that Tolan also wrote some horrendous films like Analyze That and Guess Who, so don’t get too much enthusiasm bubbling just yet.

HANCOCK
Grade Prediction: B-

Release Date: July 2nd
IMDB Page
Trailer

Say what you want about Will Smith, the man has made some pretty fun flicks, and his flicks make money. Hancock is an interesting premise with a bum of a superhero, and frankly Smith seems like a perfect guy for the role. Add on top of that the fact that I think the latest trailer look just fantastic, and I think you’ve got a solid, fun and entertaining (even if a little dumb) summer movie on your hands. Yes there have been whispers of early bad reviews, but to be honest I haven’t seen any from any critic I actually trust, so I’m not taking that too much into consideration yet at this point.

MEET DAVE
Grade Prediction: F

Release Date: July 11th 2008
IMDB Page
Trailer

The question “what the hell happened to Eddie Murphy” has been asked and debated for almost 10 years now. This guy was one of the sharpest comedic minds of all time. Then, someone slipped a “suck” potion into one of his beers and that Eddie Murphy died. Now we have the guy who does crap like Norbit, I Spy, Holy Man, Doctor Dolittle, Metro… my ass hurts just thinking about this being the same guy who did Delirious and Raw. So here comes “Meet Dave” and it looks just as stupid and useless as we’ve come to expect. I have zero hope for this film.

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH
Grade Prediction: D+

Release Date: July 11th
IMDB Page
Trailer

As much as I like Brendan Fraser and as classic as the book is, there really doesn’t appear to be anything to look forward to in this film. Directed by Eric Brevig, whose only other directing credit was for an episode of Xena Warrior Princess over 10 years ago (He’s primarily a visual effects guy), the movie looks to be nothing but a showcase for digital 3d technology and a canvas for Brevig to show off his visual effects techniques. Not a grin or a giggle is to be found in the trailer. Can’t see myself wasting time on this one.

HELLBOY 2: THE GOLDEN ARMY
Grade Prediction: B+

Release Date: July 11th
IMDB Page
Trailer

Guillermo del Toro gave us probably the most underrated comic book film in history with the first Hellboy film. Since then he’s built his reputation with the magnificent “Pan’s Labyrinth”, and just recently is was officially announced that he will be directing The Hobbit and a sequel. Times are good for Del Toro, and times are good for us who watch his films. I thought the trailer looked fantastic, it certainly has his style signature all over it and the addition of a couple of new characters looks sweet. I can’t wait.

SPACE CHIMPS
Grade Prediction: D

Release Date: July 18th
IMDB Page
Trailer

Remember what I was saying earlier about 3d animated films that aren’t done by Pixar? Yeah well that really applies in this situation. It seems like Pixar comes up with an idea for a great story, and then builds around that. In the case of Space Chimps, it seems like “story” wasn’t even part of the plan. It was just “Hey! let’s do a movie about cute little monkeys!” and then just figured a story would pop up somewhere as they were making it. At least that’s how it seems. Looks like a waste of time with some potential for kid enjoyment, but not much.

MAMMA MIA!
Grade Prediction: C-

Release Date: July 18th
IMDB Page
Trailer

You know sometimes what works on the stage just isn’t cut out to work on the big screen… and vice versa. Momma Mia (the stage musical) works because it’s live. There’s a flaky story, but that doesn’t matter because of the energy and novelty of doing an entire “show” with nothing but Abba tunes. I just can’t see this same piece working on a movie screen, without the music being live and where “story” has more importance. I fear this one is doomed to fail.

THE DARK KNIGHT
Grade Prediction: A-

Release Date: July 18th
IMDB Page
Trailer

What is there to say? It’s the frigging Batman baby. It’s Heath Ledger as the Joker. It’s the follow up to one of the best comic book movies ever made (that resurrected a franchise that many people had written off as dead… for good reason). Aside from Indiana Jones, this is probably the most anticipated movie of the summer for a lot of fans. Personally, I haven’t been as thrilled with the recent trailers as I was hoping I would be… and the whole pathetic and gimmicky “viral” marketing thing they’re doing annoys the hell out of me… but it’s Christopher Nolan directing, and he always delivers! This will be amazing!

STEP BROTHERS
Grade Prediction: B

Release Date: July 25th
IMDB Page
Trailer

I don’t know what it is about this film, but I think it’s going to be pretty good. Even though most people (including me) are getting tired of the same old Will Ferrell schtick, and even though I wasn’t THAT big of a fan of Ricky Bobby, there’s something about this movie that appeals to me. The trailers are solid, the premise is good and it looks like Ferrell and Reily are even more comfortable working off each other than before. I’m looking forward to this one.

THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE
Grade Prediction: C+

Release Date: July 25th
IMDB Page
Trailer: Not Yet Available

Much like the title of the film, I really do want to believe in this X-Files movie. The problem is what while I trust the crew running this ship, and while the show used to be just amazing, the fact of the matter is it went right down the towilet for a couple of years before having one of the single worst series finales in the history of television. So while there is some hope, it may be too little too late.

THE LONGSHOTS
Grade Prediction: F+

Release Date: July 25th
IMDB Page
Trailer: Not Yet Available

Ok, so take the bottom of my shoe. Now, take the gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe. Now, take the crack in the sidewalk that the gum gets jammed into when I walk on it. That’s about how low my enthusiasm is for “The Longshots”. A movie based on the true story of an 11 year old girl playing football. Whheeee! Oh, and it stars Ice “Has Been” Cube and is directed by Fred Durst. Do I really need to continue here?

MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN
Grade Prediction: B-

Release Date: August 1
IMDB Page
Trailer

My personal political beliefs are neither Republican nor Deomocrat. I’m just waiting for Vinnie Jones to announce he is assuming lordship over the earth… because he’s Vinnie Jones and who is going to tell him he can’t? All hail Lord Vinnie! Anyway, this little horror flick looks like it’ll be a lot of throw away and probably forgettable fun. Vinne looks great in it and Clive Barker said this is the best film ever made based on one of his works (and he didn’t even direct this one). Could be good.

THE ROCKER
Grade Prediction: D-

Release Date: August 1st
IMDB Page
Trailer: Not Yet Available

Rainn Wilson’s popularity on The Office has finally nabbed him a leading role in his own feature comedy. Too bad it’s going to suck enormous amounts of ass. This film has an interesting premise… An aging Rocker who never really got his show in his younger days gets a second chance as the drummer of an aspiring new young band. Christina Applegate is the love interest (I like her). This film is a train wreck waiting to happen. The only reason I dont’ predict an even lower grade is because I think WIlson will be able to crack a few good ones here and there… but that’s all we can hope fore.

THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR
Grade Prediction: B-

Release Date: August 1st
IMDB PAGE
Trailer: Not Yet Available

When I first heard that there was going to be another Mummy movie, I sort of rolled my eyes, but then I learned that Jet Li was playing the villain this time around and suddenly my interest shot up. The story idea also sounded pretty good and before you knew it I was mildly looking forward to it. The first few images have looked interesting and following the directors blog has been fun too. Big hit? No, but I think it has the potential to be fun nonetheless.

SWING VOTE
Grade Prediction: B

Release Date: August 1st
IMDB Page
Trailer: Not Yet Available

After the tragic events that lead to George W Bush “winning” the election in 2008, the idea of a movie where a very tight presidential election comes down to the vote of just one person doesn’t sound too far fetched does it? And laugh at me all you want, but I think the performances Kevin Costner has given in his last 4 films have all been more than solid (especially in Mr. Brooks). A very good looking cast adds to the enthusiasm too. I think this one will end up being a winner.

FLY ME TO THE MOON
Grade Prediction: No Idea

Release Date: August 8th
IMDB PAGE
Trailer: Not Yet Available

I know nothing about this animated film other than it’s about three houseflies who stow away aboard the Apollo 11 flight to the moon. Umm… interesting idea actually.

THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS 2
Grade Prediction: C+

Release Date: August 8th
IMDB Page
Trailer

You know, I was wondering what movie I wanted to follow up Batman, or Hulk or Iron Man this summer with… and then it hit me! I little movie about 4 young women on a journey to adulthood and about the emotional bonds and struggles they share! YES!!!! (PUUUKKEEE). Ok, to be honest the first film really was rather charming in its own way, but this one just seems like a money grab without much thought. Who knows, the last one surprised me a little, maybe this one will to.

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
Grade Prediction: B-

Release Date: August 8th
IMDB Page
Trailer

I like Seth Rogen very much, but I’ve gotta tell you my respect for him as a writer took a MAJOR hit after watching the ass abysmal “Drillbit Taylor” a little while back. Holy hell that film sucked… mostly because of the horrible script he wrote. But hey, everyone has a bad day or 2 at the office from time to time, so no big deal. This one looks interesting, but the trailer just didn’t make me laugh much at all. I’m cautiously optimistic about this one.

MIRRORS
Grade Prediction: B

Release Date: August 15th
IMDB Page
Trailer: Not Yet Available

Kiefer Sutherland is out of jail and ready to rock you! Ok, so this isn’t 24, but the idea behind this little supernatural thriller sounds pretty great. “A mall security guard becomes wrapped up in a mystery involving a particular department store’s mirrors which seem to bring out the worst in people.” I like it, and I like Sutherland in a lead role too. Add to that the fact that Amy Smart is his wife, and I’m totally interested.

TROPIC THUNDER
Grade Prediction: C

Release Date: August 15th
IMDB Page
Trailer

With all the name star power in this flick, and the amount of marketing they’re already giving it, I have a feeling this movie is shaping up to be one of the big let downs of the summer of 2008. The one highly redeeming quality of the film (from the trailers anyway) is Robert Downey Jr. playing a man, playing a black man. That just looks so frigging funny and is probably the only reason people are talking about this film. I’m not kidding… I’ll bet you without Downey Jr in that role, no one would be talking about this film at all. We’ll see.

STAR WARS: CLONE WARS
Grade Prediction: C

Release Date: August 15th
IMDB Page
Trailer

I’m sorry, as much of a fan of all things Star Wars that I am… the latest trilogy of prequels left me feeling emotionally raped and betrayed. What should have been the movie event of our time ended up being a laughing stock. Having said that, the animated Star Wars stuff recently has been quite good. So which will it be? The prequels quality, or the animation quality? I’m hedging my bet with a “C”.

BANGKOK DANGEROUS
Grade Prediction: B-

Release Date: August 22nd
IMDB Page
Trailer

Nicolas Cage is is a hard one to pin down. He’ll do a couple of really crappy films, and then out of no where do a pretty good one. As much as some people like to slag the Cage, the fact of the matter is he’s a pretty damn good actor who sadly sometimes just mails it in. Here he plays a Hitman.. but a good hitman… boy that’s never been done before! Still, it looks like fun. One of those under the radar films that I think a lot of people will end up liking. Doesn’t hurt that the Pang brothers are directing it.

THE ACCIDENTAL HUSBAND
Grade Prediction: C-

Release Date: August 22nd
IMDB Page
Trailer

Not a lot of hope for this one. A standard romantic comedy. Boy and girl don’t like each other much, but through some odd circumstances they end up having to spend some time together and begin to realize they’re falling in love. Awwww. We’ve seen this a thousand times before and we’ll see it a thousand times again. On the plus side, it’s great to see Jeffrey Dean Morgan get himself a leading role like this. I love that guy in Supernatural!

CROSSING OVER
Grade Prediction: B+

Release Date: August 22nd
IMDB Page
Trailer: Not Yet Available

There is just simply too much talent in this movie to predict anything lower. Not only do you have Harrison Ford, Sean Penn and Ashley Judd, but you also have director Wayne Kramer behind the camera (he did a fantastic job with “The Cooler” a few years ago. The only knock on this project is that the premise seems used up. A multi threaded story looking at Mexican immigrants trying to gain citizenship in the US. The method has been done a little too much the last few years for my taste, but let’s give this one the benefit of the doubt.

THE HOUSE BUNNY
Grade Prediction: D+

Release Date: August 22nd
IMDB Page
Trailer

Anna Faris stars in this bomb: “When Shelly, a Playboy bunny, is tossed out of the mansion, she has nowhere to go until she falls in with the sorority girls from Zeta Alpha Zeta. The members of the sorority - who also have got to be the seven most socially clueless women on the planet - are about to lose their house. They need a dose of what only the eternally bubbly Shelley can provide… but they will each learn on their own to stop pretending to be what others want them to be and start being themselves”

WILD CHILD
Grade Prediction: C-

Release Date: August 22nd
IMDB Page
Trailer: Not Yet Available

Ever since watching Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, you can put Nick Frost in anything and I’ll instantly be at least interested in the project. Unfortunately this one doesn’t sound very good: “A rebellious Malibu princess is shipped off to a strict English boarding school by her father”. Meh… ho hum, yet another movie with the basic premise being the big bad religious family. Let me guess… oh never mind you already know what I’m going to guess.

COLLEGE
Grade Prediction: C

Release Date: August 29th
IMDB Page
Trailer

Described by the writers as a raunchier type of comedy when compared to the modern Apatow flicks, reminiscent of the old 80’s kind of comedies. The film looks like it just may have a decent number of laughs. The draw back is that on the surface it looks like something of a Superbad rip off, right down to the right number of characters.

TRAITOR
Grade Prediction: B

Release Date: August 29th
IMDB Page
Trailer: Not Yet Available

Good grief this is a good looking cast. Don Cheadle, Jeff Daniels, Guy Pearce amongst others and writen by Steve Martin. Sign me up! “A special operative working with a terrorist group becomes the target of the CIA”. I’m actually kind of baffled as to why Guy Pearce isn’t the lead in a LOT more films. The guy is outstanding (he came close to being Batman you know.

Just over 4 years ago I wrote an article here on The Movie Blog stating that actors Al Pacino and Robert De Niro were, at the time, overrated actors and did not deserve to be mentioned in any conversation about the best actors working today. You can imagine the stir that caused. I was called crazy, insane, stupid… and that I had no taste or knew anything about film. Keep in mind that I was NOT saying their careers were overrated. It’s impossible to overrate the careers of these two giants… careers that my never be matched in our lifetimes. No, my point was that where the two of them are RIGHT NOW as actors was overrated.

Many people still believe that because of past brilliance, that means they’re every bit as brilliant and talented today. My point was that this is not true. The sad reality is that neither Robert De Niro or Al Pacino have the chops, wisdom, passion or drive that it takes to be one of the best actors on the planet any longer. Those days are gone and the two are sadly now just hollow shells of what they used to be.

10 years ago, could you have ever imagined the possibility that Robert De Niro would make a film and NO ONE wanted to pick it up? Well, that’s what just happened at Sundance this year. De Niro’s film “What Just Happened?” played at Sundance, and no studio or distributor even gave the movie a sniff. Who could have ever imagined that? Well… today it’s not surprising in the least.

Even Francis Ford Coppola came out last year and bashed the two titans of the acting world. The hard reality is this, aside from 1 brilliant performance by Pacino in the small film “The Merchant of Venice” a couple of years ago, the two of them have done basically nothing but crap, and turned in crap performances in the last 12-13 years:

- City by the Sea (De Niro)
- Gigli (Pacino)
- Showtime (De Niro)De Niro
- The Recruit (Pacino)
- Analyze That (De Niro)
- Sim0ne (Oh gag) (Pacino)
- The Good Shepherd (De Niro)
- Two for the Money (Pacino)
- The Score (De Niro)
- 15 Minutes (gag gag gag) (De Niro)
- 88 Minutes (That’s 73 minutes more that Robert and one of the worst films ever) (Pacino)
- Hide and Seek (De Niro)
- Meet the Fockers (De Niro)

You may not think all those movies are crap… you might even have the opinion that a couple of them are pretty good, but there’s no denying that the days of The Godfather, Scarface, Goodfellas, Raging Bull et. et. et. are miles ahead of any of the movies listed above.

Now, others are starting to point out the sad state of the careers of these two, possibly greatest of all time, actors. The other day the LA Times ran an article titled: “Pacino and De Niro: How the mighty have fallen“. Here are some of the excerpts from that article:

The two icons of ’70s New Hollywood, heroes to a generation of young actors and filmmakers, have become parodies of themselves, making payday movies and turning in performances that are hollow echoes of the electrically charged work they did in such films as “Serpico,” “Dog Day Afternoon,” “Mean Streets” and “Taxi Driver.”

Not every aging actor in Hollywood has to embarrass himself. While Pacino and De Niro grab the dough, working for hacks and nonentities, Nicholson, with rare exception, has picked his spots, doing movies with Martin Scorsese, Alexander Payne and Sean Penn. Clint Eastwood, who’s even older than Nicholson, has remained an iconic figure by working with the best director of all — himself.

Here’s the sad part… as bad as things are right now, they’re about to get a whole lot worse. “Righteous Kill” is on the way.

The news of Righteous Kill was greeted with great excitement from the movie fan community. Finally, a film with Al Pacino and Robert De Niro together at last (they really only had 1 scene together in Heat and were never on screen together in Godfather 2)! Even I, who had lost most of my faith in the two, was pumped up about it. But that excitement quickly got a reality check about where these two actors are at when it was announced they added 50 Cent to the movie as well. A collective “What The Hell?!?!” could be heard around the websphere.

Oh, and the same director of 88 Minutes (which has a rating of 06% on Rotten Tomatoes and 17% on Metacritic), Jon Avnet, is the director of Righteous Kill… so any hope we may have been vainly grasping onto for this movie has officially been flushed down the toilet.

Yes, times have changed. There was a time when anything with either of these two legends in it would instantly get people’s attention… now it feels like their presence in a movie is actually a negative and causes some people to LOSE interest. Never thought this day would come.

So what are we saying? Are we claiming De Niro and Pacino are completely washed up and incapable of ever doing anything of value again? Not really… I think The Merchant of Venice showed us that Pacino can still pull out a great performance once in a while… but for the most part the magic seems to be gone, and what I said 4 years ago (that neither one of these guys deserves to be mentioned in any discussion about the best actors working today) is even more true today. Such a shame.

Action films are one of my favorite genres. They aim to deliver some of the best reasons to go to the movies: Escapism and excitement (if they’re done well that is). Unlike say… Romantic Comedies (which are basically all the same), Action films can be quite diverse and unique from each other (some are cookie cutter for sure though), except for in one major area: The vast majority of action films (even more than other genres) usually have a male lead.

Many people insist that an action movie with a female lead just can not work, and you can at least see where they’re coming from. They’ll be quick to point out attempts like:

Catwoman
My dear sweet heavenly tender bits… how terrible was this movie? It wasn’t just bad, it was legendarily bad. So bad that I have it on my top 10 worst films of all time list. It takes a special movie to instantly kill any momentum an actor’s career had coming fresh off an Oscar win…. and Catwoman was that kind of special!

Aeon Flux
Yet another film with an Oscar winning actress that nearly ignites involuntary bowl movements. While not as hopelessly bad as Catwoman, I don’t recall being able to say 1 good thing about this mess of a movie.

Electra
Should have been a great movie. Jennifer garner rules the mystical land in my pants and I really liked her in Daredevil. What the hell they were thinking with this movie is totally beyond me.

Ultraviolet
Ultra-awful. I don’t know why some people hold on to this false notion that Milla Jovovich has the potential to be good in anything. Oh sure, she was in a great movie once (5th Element), but being in a great movie and being great in a movie are two VERY different things. Her “Resident Evil” films are all terrible too… but not as bad as this one.

So yes, with films like these out there polluting our movie theaters (Al Gore should look into this) you can forgive some people for jumping to the radical conclusion that women in action films just can never work. But after you get past the knee jerk reaction and really start to think about it, you start to remember that there are several examples where female leads really did work in films. Projects like:

Aliens
This film needs to be at least mentioned in any conversation about “best action films of all time”. Heart pounding, exciting… and I swear the term “keeps you on the edge of your seat” was originally made up to describe this flat out awesome movie. Ripley rules.

Tomb Raider
No, this movie wasn’t great (or even good really) but you can’t deny that Laura Croft as a female action lead does indeed work. Everything about her just screams “bad ass” and yet still sexy as hell. If there was a female equivalent to Indiana Jones, Laura Croft would be it.

Kill Bill
I’ve never seen a movie where a normal (non-superpowered) women goes around kicking the living crap out of men so damn believable. There is something so special about Uma Thurman’s character in these films… even as an action star.

Underworld
Kind of like the situation with Tomb Raider, some people don’t really like Underworld (I did, but not so much the second one), but again you can’t discount how effective Kate Beckinsale’s character was as an action lead in the film. She just worked.

So while I agree that finding action films with female leads that actually work is rare, the above examples prove that it CAN work. It’s not impossible. Perhaps the above movies are exceptions to the rule, but they’re enough to prove you can’t just discount an action film just because it has a female lead in it.

But the cold hard reality is that the vast majority of action films with women in the leads don’t do well at the box office. Even out of the examples above, only Tomb Raider actually made over $100 million at the box office. So the question I pose is this: If we’ve proven that action films with female leads can work, why don’t they have much success at the box office?

I’m sure there will be lots of various answers to that question, but for now I’d like to propose a few observations about why these action films with women leads don’t do well (Please note, I’m suggest why they DON’T do well… not why they SHOULDN’T do well)

1) Men Can’t Identify With Female Leads
It doesn’t take a pulitzer prize winner to point out that “men and women are different” Duh! But it’s a point that is particularly relevant when it comes to this question. We often find ourselves attached and invested in film characters that we either identify with or aspire to be. For men, that’s a hard sell with female characters. Add to that the fact that the audience for the Action genre is predominately male, and the point become even more relevant.

2) Believability
I remember a lot of discussion about “Charlie’s Angels” revolving around a lot of men complaining that “I’m sorry, but how can I get into a movie like this? There is no way that stick figure (they were talking about Cameron Diaz at the time) can take me in a fight”. Is that a neaderthalic thing to say? Maybe… but it is nonetheless at the root of why many men don’t buy into a female lead action film. I can raise the objection that “Movies aren’t always supposed to be about believability… as a matter of fact, quite often it’s supposed to be about the suspension of believability” and I’d be 100% correct, but it wouldn’t change the fact that men have a hard time (for right or wrong reasons) buying into a female character kicking a lot of male character ass. Women in prison movies on the other hand is a totally different story.

3) We’re Conditioned To See Women For Their Sexuality And Intelligence In Film
Follow me here. I liken this point to things like black and white films or subtitled films. I think one of the reasons people don’t give subtitled films more of a chance is because it’s just not what they’re used to. People aren’t accustomed to having to read the dialog (even though it’s the easiest thing in the world) and so they pass on some magnificent films. I think in the movies we’ve become conditioned to see female characters just in terms of their sexuality (this is age old) or their intelligence (this is new… but at least a step in the right direction). Seeing female characters as tough or bad ass… ready willing and able to kick your ass at a moments notice is just outside of what we’re accustomed to seeing or processing. At most we’re used to seeing women as the damsel in distress or as the love interest in action films… not participating in the whopass party.

So there you have it. Some of my theories why female lead action films don’t succeed. Do you agree with them? Disagree with them? Do you have more thoughts on why these (some of them great) movies don’t attract more of an audience?

The title may be a little shocking, so before I go on with my thoughts here, let’s take a look at the Webster Dictionary definition of fascism:

“a political philosophy, movement, or regime (as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition”

FORCIBLE SUPPRESSION OF OPPOSITION

As most people know, I was not a fan of the Writers Strike. I thought the whole thing was very avoidable, but also that much of the blame laid with the Producers as well.

During the strike I had several opportunities to talk and email with (I’m currently in Los Angeles) a few WGA members who were less than thrilled with the way the strike was going and how the WGA leadership was handling the situation. I always wondered why, if they were even a little unhappy, they didn’t speak up and try to effect some change. Well know I know why they kept their mouths shut. If they didn’t, the fascist WGA leadership would seek to destroy them.

Here’s the situation:

“The vast majority of the WGA’s 12,000-plus members patiently stayed away from their word processors during the recent three-month writers strike, notwithstanding dwindling finances or a threat to their careers. But a few members decided to go “financial-core,” an irreversible decision that made them only limited, non-voting members of the guild and allowed them to return to work. (This, if you recall, is the move George Clooney made, before the strike, in response to the WGA’s decision to deny him credit for the Leatherheads screenplay.) ”

So there were a few writers who exercised their totally legitimate, legal and union constitutionally valid option of going “financial core” during the strike so that they could keep their jobs. Fair enough right? Going financial core has a price… you can’t vote in union affairs any more, you can never run for Union office, you can’t participate in the WGA awards or be a part of official meetings or events. But if you’re willing to pay that price, then it is a valid option that is consistent with the law and guidelines.

But on Friday, the WGA fascist leadership decided it was time to drop the hammer (and sickle) on those who dared disobey them during the strike. Paying the aforementioned price is not harsh enough… Ze Feurs (said in my best German accent) want more blood. And so they want those who dared to disobey to be publicly humiliated, shunned and basically blacklisted by all other members of the WGA.

Here is the open letter send out by the WGA. See if you can identify the blatant hypocrisy:

If this wasn’t so unspeakably evil I would have laughed out loud. As the strike was going on, the WGA leadership negotiated a couple of side deals with smaller production companies so that a fraction of the WGA membership could go back to work…. go back to work as the rest of the WGA membership had to stay on the strike lines not making any money! This was a move that even my most supportive colleagues of the WGA had to do a double take at, and was the main point of contention of the small number of writers I spoke with who were bitter that some writers went back to work, while they had to stay on the lines.

For the WGA leadership to come out now and condemn the actions of those few people who exercised a legal and legitimate right of “financial core” while they themselves did the exact same thing by sending a select few back to work while others had to stay on the line is beyond hypocrisy.

The strike is over. Let it go. Calling on the obedient (not that there was anything wrong with WGA members following the Union leadership) to shun those who did not obey and then treating them like sex offenders by publishing their names so everyone else can know who to throw stones at is childish, counter productive, and just proves that you are indeed, by the very definition of the word… fascist:

FORCIBLE SUPPRESSION OF OPPOSITION

It’s bad enough that so many had to suffer during the strike… now some writers have to suffer even more… only this time at the hands of their own colleagues and fellow writers. For SHAME!

So if you ever catch yourself wondering why… if the South Park guys were right about just how many writers were unhappy with how the WGA leadership was handling the strike… more writers didn’t speak up… now you know. And knowing is half the battle. HEIL VERRONE! HEIL WINSHIP!

That’s just my view on things. (Source: Cinematical)

If Loki, the trickster god of the Norsemen had avatars on earth, verily Ramis would be one of them.

If you look over the list of projects Ramis has been involved in, many of them would be considered to be comedy gold. In the pile of gold, many of the films would be among the greatest comedies ever made. This man is extremely talented, and is among the most important comedic minds of our time.

Animal House, Meatballs, Back To School, Ghostbusters, SCTV, Groundhog Day are my picks from the list of Ramis’ work. Animal House being my standout favorite. This film spawned an entire genre of comedy that lives on to this day. The frat comedy was birthed with the arrival of Animal House and we have Ramis to thank. Old School, Revenge Of The Nerds, PCU, Van Wilder ….and the lis goes on. Whenever the words “TOGA” are yelled, a candle should be lit in remembrance of him.

Ramis has the ability to take an idea and milk it for every possible laugh. A film about 4 guys that hunt ghosts for a living doesn’t sound like a funny premise. For Ramis, it was an opportunity to shine not only as a writer, but as an actor in the character of Egon Spengler. Ghostbusters was a huge movie when I was a kid, I fuckin’ loved it and still do to this day. When someone asks you if you’re a god - you SAY YES!

SCTV is a sketch comedy show that is under appreciated and delightfully hilarious. I didn’t have cable when I finished my education and was living alone in an apt. My rabbit ears were able to get a local channel that broadcast SCTV reruns daily. I was surprised how funny the sketches were and how many well known comedic players were employed by the show in their youth. Ramis was the head writer of the program and his tenure there no doubt sharpened his wit to a razor fine point. Like the folded metal of a samurai sword; so his funny bone was tempered.

Those that love comedy have Ramis to thank for not only fantastic films, but for continuing to write the textbook on how they should be made. Ramis has set the bar, drawn the map and paved the way for many to follow. He is an architect of hilarity and his influence should never be forgotten nor should his contributions be ignored.

International Friends: Please share with us your favorite Ramis work, and thoughts on the man himself.

No matter how often I do it or how long I’ve been doing it for, going to the movies is still one of my favorite things to do. I suspect that’s the case with most of us. There’s something about the experience of going out to the theater that watching a dvd at home (which I also love doing) can’t compete with. Maybe it’s the event atmosphere, maybe it’s the big screen or maybe it’s just the popcorn… we all have our own reasons.

However, as much as we love going to the movies, we all also have our own set of annoyances that are drawbacks to our movie going experience. Over the years we’ve talked about things that bother us about going to the theater. Back in 2005 I put up the following exhaustive list of thing I personally don’t like about going to the movie theater:

1. Cost of admission ($10 for a ticket!?!?)

2. Cost of Concession stands ($14 for 2 cokes an a popcorn?!?!?!)

3. Huge Concession stand line ups

4. Commercials running when the movie was supposed to start

5. No pre-selected seating

6. Parents who don’t take their crying kids out of the theater

7. Teenagers who don’t shut the hell up

8. The guy in the back who thinks everyone wants to hear his oneliner joke

9. Theaters designed so that line ups are outside instead of inside

10. Theaters with outside line ups that don’t spend $500 to set up overhead shelter to protect people in the line from the rain. It’s very simple to do.

11. Theaters that have the “Ticket checker” set up past the concession stand. There are 30 people behind me waiting to get into the theater because I can’t get at my ticket in my pocket since my hands are full carrying 2 cokes and a bag of popcorn that cost me $14. And they don’t even set up a place to set down your stuff to get at your ticket for them!!!

12. I know this falls under “Concession stand prices”… but it deserves to be mentioned on it’s own: $3.50 for a SMALL BOTTLE OF WATER!!!

13. Bad sightline design. Theaters that don’t take into consideration that a tall person MAY actually sit in front of you and you may have a hard time seeing the movie you overpaid for. Increase the slope of the seating… raise the screen a little.

14. Bathrooms with no paper towels and weak air hand dryers. I hate standing there trying to get my hands dry on the 1 operational dryer with 6 impatient guys standing behind me waiting to use the same one.

15. People kicking the back of my seat (this doesn’t happen often… but when it does…)

16. Sitting in an empty row with your buddy… and then 2 sweet looking woman come and sit in the same row… and you think “Oh yes”… and then 2 minutes later their bodybuilder boyfriends show up with the popcorn. Well… at least they had to pay $14 for it. Jerks.

17. Late shows that start too late. Ok… I can’t get there on time to see the 7pm show… THE NEXT ONE DOESN’T START TILL 10:30!?!! I’ve gotta work in the morning!

18. Early shows that start too early. “Yeah baby, we’ll do dinner and a movie… but we have to have dinner at 4:30pm because the STUPID FRICKEN MOVIE STARTS AT 6:10!

19. People who stand in line to buy tickets and don’t actually start to decide what they want to see until they get up to the ticket girl… with 50 other people waiting behind them as they go “ummm… how about that one? Oh no… I don’t like that actor… how about that other one?”

20. Theaters without free available parking

21. Seats designed by some guy who really hates people and wants to inflict suffering

22. People who don’t turn off their cell phones. How hard is that? DIE DIE DIE!!! (no kidding, I once had a guy whose phone rang 3 different times in the same movie… justifiable homicide your honor).

23. Cup holders that aren’t actually big enough to hold the large cup. WHY!?!?!

24. When the movie you invested $40 bucks in for tickets and snacks and 2 hours of your life ends up sucking.

Still, as many items are on that list, I still love the movies (hell, there are people in my life who love me, but if you ask them to put together a list of stuff that annoys them about me their list would probably be longer).

Here’s an interesting observation though. Over the years I’ve found that when I ask readers what bothers THEM about going to the movies, things like ticket prices and commercials before the movie are often on the lists, but rarely the MAJOR complaints from people. Quite often I find that the biggest complaints people have about going to the movies revolves around OTHER PEOPLE rather than things immediately associated with the theater or movie itself. Things like:

- Cell phones - Talking - Disruptive teenagers - Babies

These are the types of things that seem to get under most (not all) people’s skin the most when discussing things that bother us about going to the movies. Rude people drive us all crazy, especially in a movie theater.

It’s one thing for someone to act obnoxious on a bus or in the grocery store. After all, them acting like idiots doesn’t effect how fast my bus will get me to my destination or my ability to pick up a pound of apples. But in the movie theater, where we just paid $40 to get us in with our dates with some popcorn so we could watch and enjoy a movie…. people acting stupid detracts from our enjoyment and experience at the theater.

So the question is: What do you do about rude people in a movie theater?

Sure, we’d all like to walk up to the guy who let his cell phone go off 3 times and punch him in the mouth, but that just causes even more of a disruption for everyone else in the theater. Yes, you’d like to go up to that teenage girl who keeps babbling with her friends and kick her in uterus to shut her up and ensure she never breeds… but that’s not considered “socially acceptable”.

Here’s a great example. Last year me, Doug and the Pleasure Witch (Doug’s amazing girlfriend) went out to catch the Jim Carrey movie “The Number 23″ (which was a mistake in and of itself). The PW is a busy lady and doesn’t have much opportunity to get out to a movie. So we get there, grab our seats and get ready to enjoy the flick. Unfortunately, a group of 4 babbling teenage girls were sitting right behind us. They were talking loudly, but we never said anything because we were sure they were intelligent enough to shut up once the movie started. NOPE!

Even when the show started they just kept yapping and yapping and yapping… I think Doug started looking around to see if there were any handy axes on the floor. So finally I couldn’t take it anymore… I turned around and asked very politely (almost begging): “Hey guys, we just came here to enjoy the movie. Please please please stop talking so loudly”.

Well, apparently that was the worst thing I could say, because this little group of idiots all decided in their heads they had to look cool in front of their fellow idiots. So each of them started barking back at me loudly “Why don’t you mind ya own fucking business!” blah blah blah. Doug turned around and suggested to the young ladies something about all going to the bathroom, finding a coat hanger and helping each other with their 8th or 9th abortions. You might be surprised to find out that didn’t defuse the situation (although it made me feel better).

Eventually I just had to stop trying because I realized us attempting to get these little bitches to shut up was causing more of a disturbance for everyone around us (it was a sold out theater) than the girls on their own already was. So we just had to deal with it.

So what do you do? Some people keep talking… you can’t yell “Shut up” from the back of the theater, because you KNOW they’re just going to yell back “You shut up”. Then what? Do you just keep the yelling match going that no one wants to hear?

A lot of people are apprehensive about getting an usher because it makes them feel like a rat or something.
So how have you handled situations like this in a movie theater before? What do you find usually works? What things have you tried that haven’t worked?

I have mentioned in the last couple of days that I have made some predictions that have come true in movies. But I also have had a LOT of predictions that though I thought would have been awesome, turned out to not happen at all.

I thought today I would like to share one of my more interesting theories that I mentioned in passing in yesterday’s article.

Obi Wan Kenobi would die in the prequels and the Ben Kenobi of the classic trilogy would be revealed to be a clone.

This theory was born in my simple mind from one brief moment in the Episode 2 theatrical trailer where we see Anakin lashing out in anger beheading a shadowed figure. I speculated that this would be Obi-Wan.

Stay with me here a moment. Imagine this is how it plays out, and tell me this wouldn’t have made the prequels more interesting.

In a conflict between the ever more frustrated Anakin Skywalker and his master ObiWan Kenobi, he lashes out and assassinates him. This begins the more rapid spiral of Anakin’s consumption of the Dark Side.

Now, imagine the chaos this breeds in the fanbase. Kenobi can’t die… he was in the following movies!! This creates a buzz and momentum that makes the third (sixth) chapter even that much more impressive.

This also lends to my hopes that we would actually see a Darth Vader in action in the third movie.

So here is the resolution.

In the Third Movie, the Jedi are nearly wiped out by Vader and his new clone army, and some of the remaining Jedi masters in hiding devise a plan to clone some of the Jedi to bolster their numbers. Among them, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Anakin is surprised by the presence of his fallen master and in an epic battle with the Masters and their clone allies take on Vader. Vader limps away, only Yoda and ObiWan’s clone remain.

Now flash forward 18 years to Luke (cleverly hiding in plain sight) Skywalker is whining on his moisture farm. ObiWan’s clone has been living as a hermit watching Anakin’s offspring grow. Struggling with his own identity and faced with a lot of time to think, he assumes the name of Ben Kenobi.

Here’s the clencher.

When Luke meets him, he says “The droid says he belongs to an Obi-Wan Kenobi, do you know him?” and Ben gets a little lost in thought. Imagine the process tumbling through his mind.

No one alive knows I am a clone
I may or may not have these implanted memories from the original Obi-Wan and I dont recall owning a droid.
I know the whole story of what happened with Vader and the truth about Luke’s lineage.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi. That’s a name I have not heard in a long time”

And the deciding moment.

“He’s Me!”

And the rest is history. It fits, and I think it would have been an awesome twist for both the plot of the movie and the outlying benefits it would give the movie as a franchise. Considering everyone knew how the prequel was going to play out in the long run and the backstory was already put in place, no impending worry or suspense was ever felt in a situation where Obi-Wan or Yoda were in danger. This would have rocked.

But it didn’t happen.

Would you have liked this better?

There has been a huge stir going on around a new rule change that the Canadian government has proposed to its Tax Credit system for filmmakers. Basically speaking, the new law would give the Canadian Government the ability to deny certain projects the lucrative Tax Credits if they feel the project in question is overly offensive (too much gratuitous sex or graphic violence). The government claims the change in the rules is prompted by citizens concerned over where their tax dollars are going.

The response to this issue from many people has been to stand up upon the bell tower and cry out “CENSORSHIP! CENSORSHIP! CENSORSHIP!” They see themselves as modern day Paul Revere’s warning the populace that “The censors are coming! The censors are coming!” After all, no one likes the idea of the government telling people what they can and can not watch. No one likes the notion of a government dictating what is and what is not acceptable, especially when it comes to the arts. Art is a form of expression, a tangible manifestation of ideas, thoughts, emotions, perceptions and inspiration. Ultimately, censorship against the arts is therefore censorship against ideas, thoughts, emotions, perceptions and inspiration themselves.

This should never be taken lightly. The right to expression in its various forms is arguably the very cornerstone to any concept of freedom. And so, whenever the government steps in to restrict or limit or CENSOR expression we all need to look upon it with a very dubious eye. Sometimes, when that expression requires the victimization of another (like kiddie porn for example), we as a society approve of the government stepping in and outlawing it. But that is a rare exception.

And so it’s completely understandable that people get concerned when they hear the Canadian government is now going to censor filmmakers. How dare the government tell filmmakers (artists) what they can or can not put in or make the subject of their art (expression)!?!?! This is intolerable right? We should all fight this right? Right???

Well… no.

The main problem here is that the wrong question is being asked by some people. There are those who want us to believe that the question here is “SHOULD WE ALLOW THE GOVERNMENT TO CENSOR FILM MAKERS?”. That question pushes a button with us. That question will stir our emotions and our anger. It is a question that has an obvious answer. “NO!” But that’s not the correct question here, nor does it even begin to apply to this situation.

The real question we need to be asking is “DOES THIS SITUATION FALL UNDER THE DEFINITION OF CENSORSHIP?” I’m sorry, but the very clear answer to that correct question is “No. This is not in any way, shape or form an example of censorship in the least”.

For one to even begin to call this situation an example of “censorship” with a straight face, it would require the Canadian government to restrict filmmakers from making their films. It would require the Canadian government to ban filmmakers from making their movies the way they see fit. For this to be called “censorship” the government must in some way be stepping in to stop artists from freely making their art. And that simply is not happening here.

There is a massive and fundamental difference between STOPPING you from making your movies and REFUSING TO HELP you make your movies. One is censorship, the other is not.

The Canadian film industry is essentially a welfare state. It lives on the handouts the government gives it. Unlike the United States or India where the film industry pays its own way… unlike just about every other industry in Canada that has to find a way to pay for itself and be self sustaining, the Canadian film industry is basically a collective of baby birds in a giant tax credit nest with their mouths stretched open waiting for the government mama bird to come along and drop freebies in its mouth.

Anyone who gives away free money (or even just loans it) has the right to decide, on whatever basis they want, who they will or will not give or loan that money too. Let’s say I want to build a rocket ship to fly to the moon and paint a giant happy face on it to make the world feel good. I go to the bank and ask for the $700 million it will take me to bring my creative masterpiece to life. Here’s the question: If the bank turns me down for the loan, would they literally be committing censorship against me? Obviously not.

I’m still free to pursue my artistic vision. No one is stopping me. But it’s up to me to come up with the money I require to do it. The bank is under no obligation to give me money. If they do, then great! If not, it’s not censorship. In the same way, if the government gives a handout to your film project, then great! If they don’t for whatever reason, it may suck but it’s NOT censorship.

Don’t get me wrong. I actually love that the government helps out the Canadian film industry. But government handouts to an industry is NOT a birthright. It’s not a fundamental freedom. It’s not something filmmakers are entitled just by virtue of being filmmakers.

The debate on wether the new rule about extremely offensive projects is a good one or a bad one is certainly a good debate to have. The positives and negatives of such a rule change to the current system should be weighed, compared and debated. However, when some people start throwing in the term “censorship”, then the real issue gets lost, the title of the debate becomes deceptive and ultimately confuses the whole matter until no one is even talking about the same thing anymore.

Is the new government rule a good one or bad one? Will it help or hinder the Canadian film industry? Is it or is it not in the best interests of the citizens and tax payers of Canada? Honestly I haven’t formed my opinion on this yet. But the one thing I do know is that the new proposed legislation is not in any way “censorship”. So quit your midnight yelling Mr. Revere, you’re raising a false alarm.

As some of you may remember, a little while ago it was announced that a new limited series of premium movie theaters are being built that will have a bunch of perks… but that also will cost you about $35 a ticket to get in to see a movie at them. This got a lot of people talking both pro and negative.

Anyway, our friend Brad over at RopeOfSilicon put up a great top 10 list of the things he would need to have in a $35 ticket movie theater if he is to even consider going to one. His list includes:

Membership cards and Infraction tracking
Pre-selected seating
No Ads and 3 Trailer Maximum
Private booths and suites
5 Ushers per screening
Meal and Alcohol service
No late entry
No children to R rated movies
Properly trained projectionists
Comfortable seating with ample leg room

You can read his article with his full rationale behind each point here.

I agree with most of Brad’s conditions. It should be mentioned that there are theate