Thanks for checking out our Forgotten Fridays feature.
This is a feature to review some older films that maybe you have forgotten about or maybe never got around to seeing that we just want to share. They may not be old, maybe not forgotten, but they are not new. Just fun to share.
Today’s review is Cool as Ice
THE GENERAL IDEA
The old teen rebel saga is updated for the late 80s/early 90s rap crowd with a loose remake of Rebel Without a Cause. Cool as Ice focuses on the character of Johnny, a freewheeling, motorcycle-riding rapper who arrives in a small town and meets Kathy, an honor student who catches his eye. Meanwhile, Kathy’s father, who is in witness protection, is found by the corrupt police officers he escaped from years ago.
THE GOOD
The tagline for the film just sets the pace for what you can expect: “When a girl has a heart of stone, there’s only one way to melt it. Just add Ice.” Because that makes as much sense as the rest of the film. Ice “melts” stone. Of course it does.
This film is genius but mostly because its not trying to be. The film seems to be passing itself off as a semi-serious teen romance flick. And therein lies the enjoyment. Watching this with the mentality that its a comedy parodying the popculture of the time makes the film far more effective.
Taking dialogue like “Drop that Zero and get with the Hero” might fly in the catchy discography of Robert Van Winkle, but in this film his uber hip rapper rebel tosses them out like commonplace verbage. Everytime one of these poetic gems hops delightfully from his lips your head will reel with the wonderment that this was every considered “Cool”.
Trust me. I was still a teenager when this film happened, and I remember all the wannabes with their 8ball leather jackets eager to be as cool as Vanilla Ice (mine had a stop sign on the back…not kidding) Often when a film suffers from being dated I put that as a consideration in the Bad Section, but in this case the “dated” stuff just make it better and better as time goes on.
Everyone else but Vanilla Ice is just filler. Its all about him. But we get to see his yuppie rival John Newton (who had previously played Superboy in the 80s version of Smallville) and Kristin Minter (ER’s Randi Fronczak) not to mention Michael Gross (Dad from Family Ties) but that doesn’t matter. Vanilla Ice is about to talk again… shhh!
Oh, and in case you didn’t recognize the director David Kellogg then clearly you don’t own very many Playboy videos (he’s done 12 of em)… or Inspector Gadget. Yeah, this just gets better.
THE BAD
The only thing bad with this film is that the original actors thought they were being mostly serious. If they did this film and the actual appeal was to parody, they would have been praised for it.
The plot is terribly weak. But its filled with such wildfire jawdropping fun that you don’t really need to care about that. For your viewing pleasure everything else I could say is bad about this movie is just what makes it comedy gold. This may be one of the earliest examples of why a musical star shoudln’t be given the starring role to carry a film, but the end result was so bad that it was good, so I don’t have much else to offer.
OVERALL
Sadly the film was financially and critically a failure in its day. This truly is a hidden gem of a film just for the greater appeal for its previously bad qualities. Like a good wine, it gets better with time. Kind of like giggling at someone in a wide tie and bell bottoms.
I am going to introduce a new rating system for my Forgotten Fridays picks.
Since all of these Forgotten Friday reviews are going to be what I would already give a high rating to, I had a Tv, Rent or Buy scale going on, but it would seem that an overwhelming majority of my picks get a BUY rating.
So with every Forgotten Friday you see from now on, you get to rate your anticipation for yourself!
TV – If you are at least a little curious, catch it if it comes on TV.
Rent – If it is something you have heard of and forgotten, or just remember enjoying this as much as I did once upon a time, go rent it.
Buy – But if you are like me, and you agree with my review you should go buy it. If its featured here, I already have.
I don’t think people often understand parody or laughing at something for ironic reasons.
When people post things about this movie in regards to “Vanilla Ice sucks” I find that laughable. Anyone who is laughing at this movie knows he sucks. No shit. His lameness is what makes a movie like this entertaining.
I remember watching this movie several times. It’s the bike that draws you in!
Drop the zero, get with’a hero!
This is a really simple proposition.Its either so bad that you can never enjoy or Its sooo sooo sooo bad its good. I would put this into that category. I watched this on late night TV maybe 6 months ago and was crying of laughter. Don’t expect anything and you will enjoy it for all its lame glory. Do yourself a favour and stop collaborate and listen to Rodney :-)
There’s a reason this is forgotten.
and there is a reason I reminded you.
Lol.
While I thought his trademark song ‘Ice Ice Baby’ was catchy, I always wondered why he rarely admitted to sampling the David Bowie-Queen tune.
Then I saw him in various interviews, and he came off like an arrogant prick; he made up a whole bunch of stuff about himself, and many other rappers called him out on it in word and in song.
Vanilla Ice became more than a one hit wonder, he became a human time capsule: once his fifteen minutes were up, they were up ten minutes before. I did consider to give Van Ice some leeway with ‘Cool As Ice’ as I did with Beastie Boy Adam Horowitz with the outstanding ‘Lost Angels’ a few years prior (and I have THAT on VHS) ….
But I skipped Cool As Ice – because of Vanilla Ice. After a short time, I got sick and tired of his ‘Ice Ice Baby’ tune as well. To this day I have never seen the film in its entirety.
I’m not going to blast you on this too much Rodney, everyone has a guilty pleasure or two that the rest of the masses wishes never existed. When I think of Kellogg, I think Corn Flakes (or in Vanilla’s case, Fruit Loops) …but now that you reminded me of Cool’s director…I’m willing to make a $1 bet with anyone that he got a better performance out of those Playboy models who were generally being themselves in various fantasy shoots that Vanilla Ice being himself for 90 minutes.
No takers? Sucker bet?
reminding us about vanilla ice is
never good.
Unless it was to remind you how fun it is to laugh at him.
lol.
90 minutes of vanilla ice is like some kinda hard core sadistic septic shock trauma love.
bold choice, kudos
Bold choice indeed, It is something that I would never consider watching and still won’t.
It just isn’t my type of thing, thanks for review though.
My roommate totally has this on VHS! So funny!
That scene were he is running around a constructionsite is HILARIOUS.
Buy. Once of the best films Vanilla Ice has made. Good times.
Maybe Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer can star in a movie together. Maybe call it: Please hammer baby, don’t ice ’em. Seriously, I might have to check out this out cause of its pure campiness. I mean it’s Vanilla %#$@!&* Ice.
Hammer was more entertaining in all of his Taco Bell ads in one minute than Vanilla Ice was in 90 minutes.
Are you kidding? It was just how BAD he is that makes this so fun.
I think you should introduce a new “burn” rating, as this pile of crap needs to go on a bonfire.
Hold on Geoff, I’ll get the matches.
So does this mean I get to choose whether I should TV, Rent or Buy it?
I’m a little confused. New rating system?
That is exactly it. I give my review and you get to rate your own anticipation reflecting on my opinion.
I can’t tell you what to like. The rating system is just so you can give it a title to your general reaction.