How Do You Handle Rude People In A Movie Theater?

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No matter how often I do it or how long I’ve been doing it for, going to the movies is still one of my favorite things to do. I suspect that’s the case with most of us. There’s something about the experience of going out to the theater that watching a dvd at home (which I also love doing) can’t compete with. Maybe it’s the event atmosphere, maybe it’s the big screen or maybe it’s just the popcorn… we all have our own reasons.

However, as much as we love going to the movies, we all also have our own set of annoyances that are drawbacks to our movie going experience. Over the years we’ve talked about things that bother us about going to the theater. Back in 2005 I put up the following exhaustive list of thing I personally don’t like about going to the movie theater:

1. Cost of admission ($10 for a ticket!?!?)

2. Cost of Concession stands ($14 for 2 cokes an a popcorn?!?!?!)

3. Huge Concession stand line ups

4. Commercials running when the movie was supposed to start

5. No pre-selected seating

6. Parents who don’t take their crying kids out of the theater

7. Teenagers who don’t shut the hell up

8. The guy in the back who thinks everyone wants to hear his oneliner joke

9. Theaters designed so that line ups are outside instead of inside

10. Theaters with outside line ups that don’t spend $500 to set up overhead shelter to protect people in the line from the rain. It’s very simple to do.

11. Theaters that have the “Ticket checker” set up past the concession stand. There are 30 people behind me waiting to get into the theater because I can’t get at my ticket in my pocket since my hands are full carrying 2 cokes and a bag of popcorn that cost me $14. And they don’t even set up a place to set down your stuff to get at your ticket for them!!!

12. I know this falls under “Concession stand prices”… but it deserves to be mentioned on it’s own: $3.50 for a SMALL BOTTLE OF WATER!!!

13. Bad sightline design. Theaters that don’t take into consideration that a tall person MAY actually sit in front of you and you may have a hard time seeing the movie you overpaid for. Increase the slope of the seating… raise the screen a little.

14. Bathrooms with no paper towels and weak air hand dryers. I hate standing there trying to get my hands dry on the 1 operational dryer with 6 impatient guys standing behind me waiting to use the same one.

15. People kicking the back of my seat (this doesn’t happen often… but when it does…)

16. Sitting in an empty row with your buddy… and then 2 sweet looking woman come and sit in the same row… and you think “Oh yes”… and then 2 minutes later their bodybuilder boyfriends show up with the popcorn. Well… at least they had to pay $14 for it. Jerks.

17. Late shows that start too late. Ok… I can’t get there on time to see the 7pm show… THE NEXT ONE DOESN’T START TILL 10:30!?!! I’ve gotta work in the morning!

18. Early shows that start too early. “Yeah baby, we’ll do dinner and a movie… but we have to have dinner at 4:30pm because the STUPID FRICKEN MOVIE STARTS AT 6:10!

19. People who stand in line to buy tickets and don’t actually start to decide what they want to see until they get up to the ticket girl… with 50 other people waiting behind them as they go “ummm… how about that one? Oh no… I don’t like that actor… how about that other one?”

20. Theaters without free available parking

21. Seats designed by some guy who really hates people and wants to inflict suffering

22. People who don’t turn off their cell phones. How hard is that? DIE DIE DIE!!! (no kidding, I once had a guy whose phone rang 3 different times in the same movie… justifiable homicide your honor).

23. Cup holders that aren’t actually big enough to hold the large cup. WHY!?!?!

24. When the movie you invested $40 bucks in for tickets and snacks and 2 hours of your life ends up sucking.

Still, as many items are on that list, I still love the movies (hell, there are people in my life who love me, but if you ask them to put together a list of stuff that annoys them about me their list would probably be longer).

Here’s an interesting observation though. Over the years I’ve found that when I ask readers what bothers THEM about going to the movies, things like ticket prices and commercials before the movie are often on the lists, but rarely the MAJOR complaints from people. Quite often I find that the biggest complaints people have about going to the movies revolves around OTHER PEOPLE rather than things immediately associated with the theater or movie itself. Things like:

– Cell phones – Talking – Disruptive teenagers – Babies

These are the types of things that seem to get under most (not all) people’s skin the most when discussing things that bother us about going to the movies. Rude people drive us all crazy, especially in a movie theater.

It’s one thing for someone to act obnoxious on a bus or in the grocery store. After all, them acting like idiots doesn’t effect how fast my bus will get me to my destination or my ability to pick up a pound of apples. But in the movie theater, where we just paid $40 to get us in with our dates with some popcorn so we could watch and enjoy a movie…. people acting stupid detracts from our enjoyment and experience at the theater.

So the question is: What do you do about rude people in a movie theater?

Sure, we’d all like to walk up to the guy who let his cell phone go off 3 times and punch him in the mouth, but that just causes even more of a disruption for everyone else in the theater. Yes, you’d like to go up to that teenage girl who keeps babbling with her friends and kick her in uterus to shut her up and ensure she never breeds… but that’s not considered “socially acceptable”.

Here’s a great example. Last year me, Doug and the Pleasure Witch (Doug’s amazing girlfriend) went out to catch the Jim Carrey movie “The Number 23” (which was a mistake in and of itself). The PW is a busy lady and doesn’t have much opportunity to get out to a movie. So we get there, grab our seats and get ready to enjoy the flick. Unfortunately, a group of 4 babbling teenage girls were sitting right behind us. They were talking loudly, but we never said anything because we were sure they were intelligent enough to shut up once the movie started. NOPE!

Even when the show started they just kept yapping and yapping and yapping… I think Doug started looking around to see if there were any handy axes on the floor. So finally I couldn’t take it anymore… I turned around and asked very politely (almost begging): “Hey guys, we just came here to enjoy the movie. Please please please stop talking so loudly”.

Well, apparently that was the worst thing I could say, because this little group of idiots all decided in their heads they had to look cool in front of their fellow idiots. So each of them started barking back at me loudly “Why don’t you mind ya own fucking business!” blah blah blah. Doug turned around and suggested to the young ladies something about all going to the bathroom, finding a coat hanger and helping each other with their 8th or 9th abortions. You might be surprised to find out that didn’t defuse the situation (although it made me feel better).

Eventually I just had to stop trying because I realized us attempting to get these little bitches to shut up was causing more of a disturbance for everyone around us (it was a sold out theater) than the girls on their own already was. So we just had to deal with it.

So what do you do? Some people keep talking… you can’t yell “Shut up” from the back of the theater, because you KNOW they’re just going to yell back “You shut up”. Then what? Do you just keep the yelling match going that no one wants to hear?

A lot of people are apprehensive about getting an usher because it makes them feel like a rat or something.
So how have you handled situations like this in a movie theater before? What do you find usually works? What things have you tried that haven’t worked?

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116 thoughts on “How Do You Handle Rude People In A Movie Theater?

  1. If someone uses a cell phone during a movie, I will personally tell them to close it and they listen!  Try it,
     it works!

  2. About 4 years late on this, but here are a couple of my solutions to Theatre Problems: 1)Always carry an oversized purse to bring your own snacks.  I’ve successfully smuggled in mine and my movie going partner of choice’s drink (bottles are our friends) and bag of candy on numerous occassions.  Once I even brought in a slice of pizza that the mall food court pizza place very graciously wrapped in tinfoil for me when I told them I needed to smuggle it into the theatre. 2)I’ve made clear a few times that the ticket taker will either hold my drink or popcorn (when I bought instead of smuggled) or reach in my pocket and get my ticket.  They always hold my stuff. 3)Being 5’0 and all of 110lbs, and barely able to see over the back of the seat, people are always too shocked when I stand up, turn around, and very loudly tell them to quit kicking my seat for them to yell back.  I never have repeat offenders.
     
    I’d like to add to your list one of mine that I have no idea what the solution is:  girls who hyena laugh very loudly to reallllllllly stupid shit.  I don’t even know.  It escapes me.

  3. I often have to take my two younger brothers to see movies, which means I’ve been in theaters with a bunch of rowdy little kids.

    Now, I have always taken issue with somebody getting mad at the kids themselves. The kids aren’t the ones to blame here. I get irritated with the parents. Y’know, the ones who should be telling them not to do that in the first place. I have never personally spoken up, but I always believe that the parents should take control.

    and to WhatABunchOfBullies!, I don’t give two shits if it’s a little kids movie. The parents should not just let their kids talk and scream and be loud throughout the movie. Seriously dude, You’ve got no leg to stand on with these arguments you make in your replies. I seriously think that you’re just cranky from experiencing the onslaught of puberty. Don’t worry, it’ll be over before you know it.

  4. Seems like a good idea, but she begins by talking about proposals and then switches her terminology to “report” for the remainder of the clip. Proposals and reports are, of course, very different writing genres and so this may end up confusing people.

  5. Our theater used to be pretty bad, lots of rude people, Talking, Yelling, Cell phones, people show hopping during the movie. You name it I have seen a lot. One lady fell asleep on my shoulder. So at the prices I pay for the movie it’s no problem to go ask security to kick them out. I don’t engage these idiots they are trouble and I just let someone else deal with it. However things have gotten much better with more security. The theater I’m sure was loosing a lot of patrons and money, I have gotten refunds because there were large groups of rude people or the sound level was WAY!! to loud and have probably gotten these refunds at least Eight times at $9ea. I remember one show that was really bad, in the middle of the show a Dad walks in and yells for his son, other people were talking and lots of phone lights, heck one lady was even changing a diaper in the walk way. There was a line at the managers window and he peeled off at least $350.00 in refunds. So I would say make the Theater responsible to maintain a good movie experience. Ever gotten Fleas at the Theater? makes you not eat the expensive popcorn.

  6. I can’t stand ghetto thugs in movie theaters, not much in my life makes me more angry, and when a good movie comes out in my local theater, there is nothing but thugs in the theater so you can’t do or say anything against them or they might get their “manz” on you and next thing you know you’re getting beat on by five or more guys at once. And Maryland never ever gives concealed weapons permits so you can never scare anyone away or defend yourself if need be if a thug finds it fit to attack you. The people who run the theater don’t actually care because this is a normal thing for the theater. In another theater in Annapolis, my cousin left a movie because there was too much ignorance in one room so these two thugs had to fight for the crown in the middle of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And why would anyone clap in a movie, it’s a movie not a fucking play. I can’t even hardly go to the theater anymore cuz of all this obnoxious bullshit.

  7. This happened to me the other day. I politely went ‘shhhh’. Well they did exactly as you pointed out, started to mock me.

    I turned around and looked the biggest and meanest directly in the eye and said, ‘Keep it up, and will have a conversation with the theater manager’.

    Everyone in the teather cheered!

    Another time, I went to see A christmas Carol in 3D. There was a couple with a kid who was out of control. The child was running up and down the aisles, and letting out yells that just went right through you. Finally I said, ‘Listen, I don’t mean to be rude….but I just paid $11.00 for this 3D’ experience….please…’. Well they made rude remarks to me, to which I replied ‘FINE’….and I went and got the theater manager. By the time we made it back, the couple was leaving the theater on their own. I got some dirty looks from them…..but when I got in the theater….I got some thumbs up…

    1. I can’t believe you used shuush and polite in the SAME sentence! BTW, I think everyone of you people exaggerates how many people are REALLY on your side I bet more then not especially if you chew out someone who IS N’T even making that much noise they prob think your an anal a**hole!

  8. I never give the other person a warning. If they are disruptive, I get the usher and complain. Last year, after doing this to a gang on teenage kids, I found all six of them waiting for me outside the theater. I ignored them as i walked back to my car, until one of them put his hands on me. What they didn’t know is I have a CHL and always carry. As soon as it became a matter of assault, I drew my gun, and had the intense pleasure of seeing two of them wet themselves, and then they all scattered like the pubescent cokroaches they were.

    1. ONE day you won’t have your gun and if YOU had shot them I assure you you would’ve been worse off in court then THEY would’ve been! YOU are the adult! Start acting like it!

  9. About a year ago friends and I went to go see Tropic Thunder and had about 4 or 5 little teenage princesses sitting behind us who wouldn’t shut up. One of my friends turned around to ask them to shush and got the “why don’t YOU mind YOUR OWN business” complete with ghetto head shake.

    SO I turned around and stared at them; like you would a huge thick stake you want to feast on and savor. I slowly moved my head and shoulders closer to them; making my grin and eyes wider as I got closer and closer. At first I got the “what you want asshole” and I just smiled wider and let my eyes get bigger and started looking between their eyes and their chest. When I began licking my lips as well, They moved shortly there after.

    Never underestimate being creepy when such can be used for good purposes.

  10. I just wanted to say about the pricing of the food at the concession stands. Yes, they do take advantage of only allowing THEIR food into the theater so they can charge high prices and make a huge profit…BUT some of that price does go for the cleaning up of that stuff because about 80% of the movie theater leaves their shit on the floor.

  11. I don’t like it when someone spills a pop and the floor is sticky. then I have to move.

    I also dislike cell phone lights. They are distracting.

    The #1 thing you can do is say: Please be quiet.

    If it doesn’t work, then get an usher and afterwards ask for a free movie pass.

  12. I’m going to buy my own Movie House and hire Gladiators to take people out,or maybe form a underground movie society. Ha!

    I can’t remember the last time I fully enjoyed a movie without someone being rude. So I called the AMC Theater in Indianapolis at which I recently attended. I simply wanted to know if they were working on new ways to keep people in check. Nothing new, and “hiring more ushers is out of the budget” said Bob. The manager was truly apologetic and offered to send me free passes. This was nice but not a solution. Bob said the best way is to come out (which means missing your flick) and tell management. Well good luck to all in your next movie outing.

  13. My husband and I just had an experience tonight when we went to see Dark Knight. A middle aged Hispanic couple behind us kept talking in Spanish, and another Hispanic couple was right in the middle of the theater with their five kids, the youngest of which was about a year old. Between the baby crying and just making baby noises through the first half of the move we missed much of the dialoge in the movie. Finally, between both situations, my husband couldn’t take it anymore and went and got an usher. Several other patrons stormed out to complain also. They sent someone in to ask the mother to take the baby out of the theatre. She still did not comply and the baby kept being disruptive for another five to ten minutes until some more patrons went out to complain. The usher went down again and insisted the woman take the baby out of the theatre. She then sent one of the older children, probably an eight or nine year old, out with the baby to the lobby. We then were able to watch the rest of the movie in peace, but we did find the manager after the movie was over and expressed our dissatisfaction, and he gave us two free movies passes. Bottom line, what ever happened to basic common sense courtesy? If your child is being disruptive you shouldn’t have to be told to take them out of the theatre. A child of that age, in my opinion, should not be brought there in the first place. Get a babysitter! A baby should not be expected to be quiet for two and a half hours! And, what’s the excuse for older people who should know better. If you want to talk, stay home!

  14. Every TIME I go to the movies, there are annoying teens! BUT, I give a warning before the movie starts. I say outloud, very loudly “Really, don’t talk during the movie. I’m not in the mood tonight and I really don’t feel like going to jail.”

    Works like a charm :)

  15. Movie going experience has become slighly better when I go to the more expensive mall in my beighbourhood. I also try to go earlier and on the week days.

    There was a period there, even at the better shopping center where it was insufferable. I’m not sure what was done to improve things, but thank God! And I have to say, these were teenage gang bangers who felt completely entitled to ruin the movie for everone else. There was really no “shut up” option here, b/c everyone was too afraid or too politically correct to deal with it. Remember Bill Mahr’s example. It’s like watching movies with the mafia.

    What I think is most disturbing, and mind you I really don’t have a problem with violence in movies, are people laughing hysterically at violence in movies.

    What I would give if movies just went to straight to video, or atleast you just had the option of watching them at home right away.
    I also have a thing about saving whole frickin’ rows of seats. Just shouldn’t be allowed.

  16. Theater owners at least around here do not care at all. I have emailed them, written snail-mail to them and called them about certain situations and bad experiences, and I told them up front I do not want free tickets, or anything, I am NOT looking for anything…….because some people complain in hopes of getting a free pass or whatever, but i want to make sure they understand my experiences and what not are real and should be taken seriously. Not only do people just talk in general to their friends, I have people whose cell phones go off, people actually answering cell phones and carrying on conversations aloud, people texting which is just as annoying because its this bright white light right in front of you which is a total distraction.

    The best ways to avoid this are to go on off hours. Go to a midday or rush hour show when there are fewer people there. It helps somewhat. I absolutely avoid the prime time first weekend shows because teenagers will likely be there and they are in general a loud bunch. But another group that consistently disrupts movies with talking, cell phones and texting is black people. Now some will say that is racist. It isn’t. I go to a lot of movies. I go to all the big summer movies, and typically 1 movie a week year round because movies are a hobby and because of my work hours I’m often free when most of my friends are working. So what to do with yourself when nobody is around: go to the movies. I’d say black people by far outnumber the white people who disrupt movies for whatever reason.

    I have even had movie theater employees laughing and talking in the projection room right behind the last row, loud enough that i could hear them and what they were saying to each other. To say the least that was ridiculous and should NEVER happen.

    I live in a place where i have 2 theaters both owned by the same company (Wehrenberg) both equally distant from one another. I told them via phone call that there were tons of kids there high school age maybe some junior high, just everywhere blocking the doors, hanging out inside and out, not seeing a movie mind you just hanging out. They would often get rowdy and thus the theater attendance rapidly dropped there. This was I’d say 90% black kids. I told the theater ownership (some vice president actually) about the issue and wasn’t 2 months later that police from 3 different towns had to be called din for a huge riot there with these kids who started a huge fight. This theater was thus referred to as the black theater. Now the same thing is happening at the other theater……….it wont be long until i cant go there and see a movie either.

    Is it too much to ask for to have ushers or if need be security at theaters so 1 you can feel safe and 2 enjoy a movie with as few rude distractions as possible?

    1. I agree but I bet you anything there will be more then a few shushers, rude commentors, and shut the f*ck uppers that will thrown out before the people they are picking on do!

  17. Sounds like those people who won’t shut up need to be punched in the face. Somewhere nice and visible so the “message” sticks.
    Becuase nobody expects to get punched, nevermind in a threatre.

  18. When I Seen Spider-Man(2002) in theaters at this F**king L.A. Theater which is bigger than Orange County’s, First I Was talking to my mom quitley and some douchebag tells me to shush for What! and i talk to her again, he Shushes me Again! Ma Threw a piece of popcorn on him and they Settled the Score out of the Theater, Ma Talk to that F*g sayin’ “You don’t tell me to Shush” if anyone be’s like that to me in the theater, I’ll Cap or Dice those Mother F**king Sonofaf**kingbitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. YES! I LOVEE IT! she’s right! people just shush if they here you whispering quietly and IF you are whispering they accuse you of shouting! I hope your mom decks some a**holes for ME! YEH!

  19. last summer my friend and i went to see Halloween on opening night. we made one mistake. we went to the NICE theater. keep in mind people, ghetto rat thugs LOVE nice things…so they can wreck them. like what’s left of South Jersey.

    anyway, the entire time it’s all screaming and hollaring, nobody is saying a damn thing. the opening tune playing is God of Thunder by KISS, and sure enough, they start hollaring about the director being racist because they’re playing metal. i felt the need to yell “YOU WILL NOT BESMIRTCH THE GOOD NAME OF KISS!”. and people loved it.

    then about halfway in (if that) there’s a blood curdling scream…not in the movie. then the sounds of a brawl, about 4 minutes later the lights came on and i look back. there’s a fullscale prison riot in the theater. they’re not going after those who attacked the first person, they’re going after ANYBODY around them. after about 5 more minutes the manager comes in and just tells them that the movie will now resume until they calm down.

    how did the lovely darlings respond you ask?

    somebody threw a bottle towards the front. a filled bottle rocketing towards the front. unfortunatly, it hit another thug who’s posse proceeded to retaliate full tilt dumbass. i grab Les by the arm and drag her out. as we’re waiting there to get our money back, the riot spills into the lobby, and cops come in pepper spraying everybody.

    since then, i don’t feel guilty about saying something to them. you just have to keep in mind that the lights WILL be turned on, and you don’t wanna be standing there telling them you’re gonna kick their ass if they don’t shut up, because you’re gonna be arrested for making a terroristic threat. you just have to keep it simple. a nice “SHUT THE F**K UP GODDAMNIT!” works just fine.

  20. This kid was making smart-ass remarks after every other line during “The Mist”, so I yelled at him, “Shut up I will SHUT YOU UP.”

    Not another peep out of him for the rest of the movie.

  21. I do not understand why people should feel like a rat by going to management in a theatre to complain. You paid your money to see the movie and not to listen to a bunch of chatty, inbred females go on about their lack of dates. Obviously not male would go out with them to a movie becasue they talk through it. Back to management. The simple solution is to go ask for a manager and not the usher. Tell this person the situation and then ask for your money back as you can not see the movie and you are now wasting more of your time and missing even more of the movie. Management will probably go in and tell the chatty cathys to be quiet or they will be removed from the theatre. You should get your money back and probably free passes to another movie.
    Being a rat can pay a reasonable dividend. I have to do this because if I don’t I get really nasty and I start yelling after asking twice and I personally do not care if other people get upset as they are not the ones sitting behind or in front of them.
    Another option is to join in their conversation and comment on everything they say, which should annoy them no end. If they ask you to bud out tell them that you might as well join in after all you can’t hear the movie so you might as well get into their drama. This usually pisses the talkers off.
    A few years ago I went to see a movie with my wife and we had a couple talking behind us and at the crucial time they gave away a crucial scene which obviously pissed me off. I turned around and politely suggested, that if they wanted to talk throughout the movie, that they should just wait for the video to come out and they could watch it at home and then they could tlak all they wanted through the film. The guy turned to his girl and said…”You know that’s a good.”
    idea.” Some people you just can’t phase.
    The cost to the theatres was I just stopped going for quite a while and rented videos instead.
    Now, I only go to movies maybe once or twice a year unless something really big comes along. Now I usually only go to smaller theatres where managers tend to care more for their patrons.
    Final suggestion…..go to an IMAX theatre because the sound is so impressive that most people don’t talk throughout the film. I have never heard noisy people at IMAX.

    1. Evidently, you and your wife can’t phase from early adolescence into adulthood! I hope you get a taste of your own medicine and soon!

  22. I will either move to a different seat or go tell a manager and get a free pass. Most new movies play many times a day on multiple screens so it’s not hard to find another option. And this reminds me of something Bill Maher said when he was on the Howard Stern show, he was at the movies with a date and he told some teenagers to be quiet. They stopped talking but when the movie was over they beat him up in the parking lot in front of his date.

  23. Everybody listen up here, because the solution is simple–invest in a taser and TASER the $%@!ers!!!!!!!!!!!!! Muahhahahahahaha. That will keep the chattering biotches quiet and people in the cinema will think you are a hero. Just make sure your movie going friends have them too, if there are more than noisemakers together. Use it on talky girl cliques, 5 to 55 year old chair kickers and flash it to parents who bring their horror-phobic toddlers to show you mean business. TASER them all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

  24. I normally level with the people- “Hey, buddy, I’m a critic (and I truly am and award-winning critic, as my name suggests. Btw, I used to be Mofo Toshio) and have to concentrate on this movie. Believe me, I know the movie sucks, but if u could just talk a little bit quieter I’d appreciate that.” Or, like Doug, I’ll crack a rude joke.

  25. Along with everything else that’s been discussed on this subject, I absolutely HATE HATE HATE when you go see a recently released movie and these annoying kids think its the cool thing to do by clapping whenever something remotely relevant happens during the film. I guess it makes them feel better about themselves but it makes me want to do a sweep of the theatre and smash their faces between my fist and a box of goobers.

    All these nuisances are things I absolutely hate about going to the movies, so much so that I just won’t go during specific times of the day/week. But when I’m there and it happens, I spend more time with the clockwork in my head thinking about if I should do something, what I should do vs. what I want to do, whether its appropriate or not, too much, should I just bite my tongue, etc, etc… before I know it, Imy blood pressure is thru the roof because I’ll usually just ended up dealing w/ the majority of it because I just try to be considerate to everyone else, unless of course, I simply just can’t take it anymore and I voice my mind on just a miniscule fraction of what I really want to express and do.

    1. If you hate it so much DON’T go! You won’t be missed in fact you will be doing those who are trying to have a pleasant time a FAVOR!

  26. Oh yeah, if you really want to get rid of them fast, go out and tell the manager you think they were recording the movie on their phones.

  27. I’ve learned having the teacher voice and “look” can help. We went to see Harry Potter opening weekend, which surprise, surprise was packed with lots of little kids. Middleschoolers and highschoolers I deal with on a daily basis and know you just tell them to shut up or you’ll go out and get someone to make them shut up. I had a group come in and starting saying F*ck this and that and talking loudly. Now I get very angry when people cuss in front of young children. I turned around and said, “You will shut up and stop using that language this is a children’s movie.” Then I stared them down. It’s the stare down you need to include. They need to see that you will beat them down. If you wait to the movie when its dark, its too late. I’m also the type that will leave my seat to intimidate a little middleschooler though. I was at one theater where apparently someone was throwing popcorn at this huge redneck looking guy. He got tired of it turned around and yelled, “If I get hit with one more pice of popcorn I’m going to come up there and tear of your arm and make you eat it.” I have never sat in such a quiet theater in my life. Apparently looking crazy helps also.

    1. I agree with the popcorn thing BUT you are being as impolite and immature as the kid’s you’re talking to! this isn’t school! This is a public theater miss perfect!

  28. john ur fing hilarious dude

    i just hate it when they overreact and scream in a horror movie in scenes that werent scary AT ALL…thats my pet peeve.

    oh and if they talk too much i have NO PROBLEM in SCREAMING “hey! shut the fuck up!!”

    because if you do- then the rest of the people clap at you

    trust me just try it theyll salute you

      1. BTW, you are totally intolerant! Everyone is entitled to there opinion of what is funny or scarey! I hope you don’t stay so ignorant!

  29. I have found two simple steps that have helped. I have learned that finding a theater that is not in a mall and choosing a show prior to the evening has worked out well. Rarely will I run into rude behavior in the theater now.

    Mark Salinas, MN

  30. I am a very vindicative person. I haven’t done it yet, but everytime someone keeps talking in a theatre, I always contemplate empyting my soda bottle on him. Or grabbing his mobile from his hands and smashing it.

    BTW, I also hate it when people are sending SMS while watching a movie. I can’t stand the light coming from a mobile phone while watching a movie in an otherwise dark theater.

    1. I think you need a stong dose of antipsychotic medicine and some anger management! The punishment DOES NOT fit the crime! Or maybe in your delusional world it does!

  31. Ask an usher and/or theater manager. Trust me, nearly all managers want to please the good costumer and get rid of the bad. I have seen some places go as far as having a police officer come and remove the disturbing people (this usually happened when they insulted the employees).
    That same theater then gave the remaining audience free popcorn in small, kiddie giveaway bags as an apology.

    For crying babies, most theaters will ask them to go to the lobby till the child quiets down and give her a free pass for the inconvenience.

    You paid good money to see the movie. Get your moneys worth. Worse case scenario, get your money back and go at another time. Do NOT sit and let them get away with it.

    1. I GOT an usher to kick out the anal woman and man who caused trouble when I answered a question my 6 year old asked about the KID’S movie I went to see on HIS birthday! Thanks for the advice, snicker, snicker!

  32. Epic post. My serious answer to the problem of chatty bitches in the theater would be to get angry and tell them, quietly, to shut up or get the fuck out of the building. If they don’t you can easily find an usher or something; the people around you who also have to put up with the yappers are usually grateful, and then you can (hopefully) enjoy the rest of the movie in peace.

    If I had my way, of course, I would simply ask them to stop talking, and then throttle them. Impolite, but effective!

  33. My usual tactic is that iif after asking them to shut up they continue, i walk out demand my money back and let the theater know why. Depending on the place you’ll either get the dough or a free pass but i’ve never been refused. They usual kick out the disrupters as well.

    Funniest occasion was when we went to see crouching tiger a second time one sunday morning and there was a bunch of skangers sitting behind us. 2 mins in one of them turned to the other and says “fuck man, tis all in foreign, what the hell are they talking about” they then took out their phones and rang their friends to tell them the problem, to which my friend turned around and politely asked if they were able to read or did they need help sounding out the words. Their reply was that the subtitles were too quick. We left telling the usher we wanted our money back and he had no problem, even apologised as he had recommended they (the skangers) go see it as they wouldn’t have a clue what was going on.

    1. Do you people have no life?! How many times do you have to see the same movie! I rest my case with that statement! First off who are YOU or anyone to tell a complete stranger shut up! That is not only ruder then anything they are doing its DISRESPECTFUL!!!!!!

  34. I have seen a woman with her baby literally be run out of a theater. I will never forget it. It was in Jurassic Park. I was in third grade, and this chick would not leave with her screaming baby. This group of about five guys guys got up, went to the front row where she was sitting, surrounded this woman right after the baby raptor is born in the movie, and LOUDLY told her, and I quote, “BITCH, you and your kid are ruining this movie. Now get the fuck out NOW!” They stood there and glared at this woman until she finally grabbed her diaper bag, ran out, and did not come back. Now, she did need to take the baby out, and I was a little happy that the guys called her on it, but the manner in which they did it was a little bit much. The poor woman must have been terrified, thinking that these big guys might hurt her baby. There’s a right and a wrong way to go about this stuff.

  35. I took a swing at a guy who wouldn’t shut up during The Kingdom. Didn’t mean to but I asked him numerous times to be quiet and he didn’t. At the hight of the excitement of the movie he spoke again and before I knew it I swung. Scared me because what if I had hit him instead of the seat between us? I don’t want to have a felony because of him. It did make for a fun story one day when I met Jason Bateman though.

    1. It won’t be funny when you don’t miss the next time and you get arrested ACTUALLY that would be funny if I could be there to watch!

  36. The way I handle it is I hit the theater where it hurts and tell everyone that will listen while we leave to get their money back. I do this EVERY time there is any kind of disturbance. The theater eventually started cracking down because the same people were essentially getting free admission every film.

  37. In our younger days-NYC theaters were full of dickless assholes who thought they could get away with anything-from kicking your seat to talking to the screen to screaming inane laughter. I would go with 6 or 7 guys and if this started happening our mission was to destroy these people.fuck the movie-we could always watch that another time. One of our bigger guys would go directly behind the loudest asshole and begin kicking his seat as high up near his head as possible. Two other of us would start throwing as much shit as we could at their heads. If there were girls-our more neanderthal friends would start to talk to them about what a greatt movie it was and did they want to leave. Only once did someone get up to try to get us to back down and johnny balls hit him in the face so hard that his words never came out. And at that point they weren’t allowed to leave the theater. They had to stay there, quiet, while we watched the movie, took their popcorn and sometimes threw it back at them. This didn’t happen often but I can attestt to at least 10times this happened and eveyrtime we got cheered. Fuckyou punks. I spend my money and you think I’m going to let you ruin my night. Now it’s time for fun.

  38. Where do you people live? I’ve NEVER had problems with people talking or being disruptive or rude in movie theaters.

    Maybe I’m just lucky….

    Actually, my father DID talk all the way through Transformers…about Transformers. I wasn’t disturbed but I was freaking out that he was disturbing the people around us. I don’t know if he actually was or not.

    Actually the annoying thing is I couldn’t hear his comments throughout because he was talking to mom and I was on the other side of mom…

    1. AMEN! because you were watching the movie which is what you came there to do! Thank god from the mouth of babes you are more grown up then the adults on here! Exactly HE was talking about the movie I guess that is a crime now!

  39. During my college years I worked at several movie theaters. I figure I worked a couple hundred shifts as an usher. That’s in the ball park of one thousand hours tearing tickets and picking up trash. It’s slightly more bearable than slinging popcorn behind the concession stand, but still very boring.

    I used to get giddy whenever someone would come out complaining that there were talkers in their theater. Finally, something to do! Please go get an usher whenever you have rude people sitting near you. It usually goes something like this:

    Me: Hey guys, there’s been a complaint that you’re talking during the movie. If we hear another complaint, you’re going to have to leave.

    Them: But they were talking first… OR We didn’t do anything… OR Who complained?

    Me: I don’t care.

    Then I walk over to the side of the theater and stand about a row behind them. Next I enjoy about 20 minutes of getting paid to watch a movie. By that time everyone usually has become engrossed in the movie, and I slip out the door. I can count on two fingers the number of times I needed to come back into the theater again. Both instances were about like this:

    Me: That’s it guys. We had another complaint. Let’s go.

    Them: You can’t make us… OR That’s not fair… OR I want my money back…

    Me: You can leave right now or I can call the police. Again, I don’t care.

    (We would give them passes, though, if they made a big enough stink about it.)

    1. Honestly how about the people who have been chewed out for doing absolutely NOTHING wrong by an OCD control freak who wants to control everything everyone is saying or doing around them?! Do you have any consolation for them! Or do YOU just like instigating trouble because you have aboring job!?

  40. I don’t mind talking/noise during the show if it is a direct response from the film (such as a “jump” moment in a thriller-horror or laughter after a joke in a good comedy) but the majority of folks (strangers) that are around me in a theatre are generally well behaved.

    I do not mind most noise such as sipping the last of the carbonated water in the cup overfilled with ice and ripping candy wrappers because 98% of the time all products are consumed by the opening credits (I tend to like licorice or lemon drops myself) and I tend to smuggle in bottled water or Jolt (bought outside of theatre) whenever I can.

    Indeed, *most* of those who talk, talk during trailers. I don’t mind it if they talk and/or use cell phones before a film begins, and only on a few times I have seen folks using cells to text message. For those who insist on talking/disrupting the film with “drama” and use of cellphones, I can say this:

    “I” don’t have to say a damn thing. See, there may have been that one instance where I stared down and said to a punk ass bitch “I watched you punch in digits on your cell. I have your phone number. After the film is over, I’m going to crank call you every five minutes.”

    Okay, I didn’t really say that. I actually said something about the crowbar and noose in my trunk, but that’s not important right now. See, what is important is that as sure as hell I’m giving some punk bitch a stare down, fifty some other people are also preparing for the lynch mob.

    Serious. If one dude like me tells those whiny skanks to zip it up and they tell me to mind my fucking business, point around the theatre. They will bear witness to the angry group about to rip of their heads and crap down the hole.

    If a person is too big, I may move/change seats (Heaven Forbid if it’s not just a big person but a big ass Garth Brooks hat) but more often than not it is they who will move if you ask politely. As for those who have to go because they were warned about the 72 inch Big Gulp with 100 uneeded ice cubes, I’m forgiving, so long as they say excuse me, don’t step on my toes, or my bee…I mean Jolt.

  41. There’s no one size fits all for this. I’ve tried ’em all. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t. Although asking people to be quiet worked a lot better years ago than it does now, where everyone thinks they’re sitting in their living room instead of in a movie theater.

    I’ve confronted people after the movie was over a couple of times, and usually they look at me like I’M being a rude a-hole.

    Maybe one of those electric shock self-defense things… Seriously.

    Vic

  42. I went to see Juno a few weeks back (great movie, highly recommended) and these 3 girls wouldn’t shut up!

    “Do you think Chad likes me?”

    “I, like, don’t know. He sort of, like, seems to but is, like, scared or something.”

    “Oh my god, that kid in the movie is soooo gross!”

    “Like, eww, I can’t believe she had sex with him.”

    This went on for the majority of the movie. At the end I went over to them and said “You know, if your going to spend the whole movie talking, why not save your seven dollars and just stay at home and talk. Because I’m pretty sure the rest of the people in the theater don’t care if Chad likes you or not.” One guy started clapping. As I walked out, I heard one of them say “Oh my god! How does he know about Chad? Does he, like, go to our school or something?”

    1. If you are telling the truth then I would have just gone a couple seats over and saved your breath. Calling people out in a movie theater is just immature! LEt THEM find out the hard way one day but sometimes people are discussing the movie as it is playing so what of it?! As long as they aren’t shouting at the top of their lungs of laughing uncontrollably then MOVE!

  43. I never had this problem before. When some people won’t shut up when the movie is playing, I just ask them politely if they could be quiet. And they usually say sorry.

    As for cellphones, let’s say in a 2 hour movie, I can hear one or two phones ringing but that’s it. I think it’s because when people hear the first ring, everyone just start to switch off the phone or put it on vibrate. And one other thing, they usually talk on their cellphones outside.

    That’s really my experience whether it’s in my country or when I was in Australia. I guess I’m just lucky watching a movie in the theater with not so rude people.

  44. I am a 6′ 2″ African American male and weigh roughly 245 lbs. The last time i had an issue was my second viewing of Batman Begins. I calmly stood up and moved to the seats behind the 4 young men that continued to talk, text and be jerks from the time they got there, thru the previews and into the movie. It was about at the mid mark when I said to them calmy, ” I came here to watch this movie. If all of you do not shut the fuck up, I am taking my $10 out of each of you when this is over.” They quieted down and shortly decided to decided to leave. That was the first time I had said something, as I just couldn’t take it anymore.

    1. You are a bully plain and simple! If you weren’t you wouldn’t have mentioned your race OR height! I wonder what would’ve happened to YOU if there 6’4″ older brother came in and saw you doing it! Rashness and swearing with threats never pays and ONE day I AM SURE you will find this out because you never think before you act! Plus you already SAW the movie what’s up with that, lol!?

  45. My wife turned around once and asked some girls to shut it up. They just laughed at her but eventually became quiet. What I’ve been TEMPTED to do many times is to stand up, go to the offender, get right up in their face and say, “SHUT … UP!” I think it’ll work because I’m a big guy.

    1. Your wife sounds like an explitive! What would YOU think if a woman told your wife to SHUT IT! Oh, life sux when the shoe is on the other foot doesn’t it! You know what I hope you do that man and then I hope her linebacker boyfriend returns from the men’s room and knocks you out for the rest of the movie for being a jerk!

  46. My solution has been too wait for between one and two weeks before seeing a movie. All the morons out there have usually seen it by then and I don’t have too worry about any of the items on the complaint list (well, except price of course)

    1. Anyone who agrees with a guy who calls strangers “fuckards” and threatens to cracck their skulls open if they don’t shut up has issues!

  47. By the way, Doug is a funny man. :D I understand your frustration even though I haven’t had that experience my self. 3.50 dollars for a small bottle of water is turrible, that’s just turrible! The tickets are more expensive here in Sweden even when it’s a Swedish movie made in Sweden that they didn’t have to import and subtitle. I really hate it when number 13 and 21 happens. :( I hope that nothing on this list happens when I’m gonna go see The Dark Knight. Then I’m gonna go all Joker on them in loving memory of Heath Ledger! Muahahahaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaa!

  48. I agree with you Jay, wholeheartedly, but was raised in the south and despite some malicious rumors, we are typically a polite bunch. Makes it a bit difficult.

    My greatest human peeve is the a parent brings their 8 year old into a R-rated or highly violent/supposedly scary movie. Sure, some kids can take it, but it’s a nightmare when they can’t.

    Next thing would be the prices. I can buy five dvds of classics for what it takes to get into the next shitty romantic comedy.

  49. @Michael_C ….”They get two verbal warnings…”

    What? Are you out of your mind? NOBODY deserves any kind of warning.

    It’s simple as that. You *ARE* aware of your surrounding. I mean THIS is a public movie theatre and YOU are not in your mother’s basement.

    Those people have no conceptualization for appropriate social behavior.

    1. I totally agree with your first statement! AHMEN! HALLELUJAH! Some one who is a grown up! I hear noises have people squeezing in next to me bumping me my hat drops because someone walks by a child accidently hits my seat or catchs my hair but you know what! I’m so engrossed in my movie that I’m not going to let what they do distract me! It seems that people are MORE interested in what EVERYONE else is doing then in their movie! It’s not rude it’s LIFE and anyone who tries to control everything going on around them has serious issues! Remember this isn’t your little bro or girlfriend you’re barking at these are strangers and you just simply have no right to order them around like you know them! Would you treat a friend or family member that way! Maybe people like that would but that just shows they are the one’s with the issues!

  50. You can’t yell “Shut Up!” in a theatre? Oh, sure you can;).

    A coupla decades ago I spent the summer in the UK. One weekend I went off to visit with some distant relatives, a trip that involved a lengthy train trip. I had a four hour layover in one town between trains, and decided to take in a matinée movie at a nearby theatre while I waited.

    There were three kids in the row in front of me that would not shut up. After several “shushes” and other hints, I couldn’t take it anymore. I leaned forward, dropped a coupla heavy meaty hands on two shoulders and said in a dead serious (and North American-accented) tone, “If you fuckards don’t shut up I’m going bash your heads together like a bunch of coconuts.”

    You could hear a pin drop for the rest of the movie. It was sweet.

    1. You are completely nuts! I’m surprised YOU didn’t get escourted out of the theater because if you freaking touched me I PROMISE you you would’ve been reported!

  51. I try to always behave in theaters. For example; I don’t eat something that make a sound and I don’t talk and I turn off my cellphone. But when I went and saw the premier of Star Trek First Contact 22 november 1996 in a theater in Florida (I’m Swedish and were there for a holiday) I took my camera and stood up about 4-7 times and took a picture of the movie because I wanted to show a friend back home (the movie hadn’t come to Sweden yet). No one complained and I was impressed by how polite you Americans were. The bad thing was that I turned the pictures over to a lab for development but I never got anything back. I took pictures with flash and without flash. It was a big recently opened cinema in Naples called something like “Hollywood 22”. Anyway, I rarely come across rude people in the Swedish theaters. Swedes are polite too. When I went with friends and saw Spider-Man 3 there was a kid behind me kicking on my chair/back and I got angry but I didn’t loose my temper. I just turned my head towards him and told him to stop. His father noticed this and told him to stop as well. Then he didn’t kick anymore for the whole movie. :)

    1. Way to let people control everything you do even to picking an extremely quiet movie snack! People today are nuts!

  52. Well like many-a-moviegoer I have had a problem tons of times with disruptive fellow movie goers (or by the sounds of it they have paid their ticket prices to talk) and I am not the type of person who would shout something at them or really confront in any way – it just causes more disruption and more often than not you end up looking like the main culprit of the distruption in the first place.

    I think the best thing to do is just ignore them and if they stop then just move. This wouldn’t work if it was a sold out showing but it’s the only thing you could do if there were any other seats available.

    One thing I did just think of was this – once you are at your wits end with the babbling or whatever going on behind you (and this is only in the case if you are with someone) then start doing the exact same thing. Start talking loudly with the person you are with until the people behind you who were babbling in the first palce have to call YOU out on your newly formed disruption. Then when they ask “why don’t you shut the hell up” then you can reply with “Why don’t you take your own advice”, Kind of like cornering them as they are guilty of what you are disrupting them with. I know it makes you look like a total asshole and you are now then guilty of what you are wanting to not happen but this is only when the situation arises where nothing else can be done.

    ….and if that fails then next time bring some sort of large metal pole lifted from the side of the road and go to work on the distuptors facial features until unrecognisable. :)

    1. The 1st half of your post is dead on because when you are extremely rude comfronting these people you ARE the culprit of an even bigger scence of disruptance not only for you, the person you are comfronting but the whole REST of the theater! Who is selfish then?! Plus if you are so Darn angry about every noise because you had to pay out money to see the movie( boo-hoo) then stop going to theater SO much and only go when it IS a great movie like Harry Potter! I lost respect for you post towards the end!

  53. They get two verbal warnings, often disguised with a ‘please’ or ‘if you wouldn’t mind,’ before I can’t stand it. And I do my best to avoid these situations, mind you. Unless I’m on a date, I go to movies by myself at the first showing in the morning. 10AM. What happens? Old people and young mothers. Yeah. Old people are a problem in the theater. Maybe they don’t feel loved by their children, so they sit next or in front of you in a near empty theater. Next, they have no bladder control–up, down, up, down–stop drinking the damn soda and you won’t disrupt my movie, damnit. When the movie is interrupted (cell phone, loud talking, babies, etc…) and I’ve already given warnings, I ask the person to leave. That might not work in a full theater, as it’s hard to get around to their seat. They have proven themselves as a disturbance and now it’s time for social Darwinism to come into effect. You are doing the group a disservice and must go.

    1. PLEASE, grow up! you must be single to be in the movies at 10 AM! Does anything make some people happy?! I hate when people complain about everything and anything that everyone else is doing! Please read the above posted comment!!

  54. You nailed it on the head John. The problem is that confronting people about rude behavior in the theater just causes more disruption for everyone. The onus has to be on the theaters to tell people to shut up before the film starts and deal with issues once the film starts as they arise. I paid them $12 to get in, I expect them to make sure I have a good time.

    1. When you Get into a Fight over a little child ACCINDENTLY kicking your seat OR you have a fit over a mother discussing the movie with her child in a reasonably quiet voice, YOU are the one with the problem! shushing is rude, name calling is rude, yelling is rude, calling someone out is rude, and threatening is rude! YOU as the viewer are NOT at home! If you want total quiet when watching a movie, go to redbox or join netflix! A public theater is just THAT a public theater! If you burst a blood- vessel or turn around at every noise, snicker, fidget or bump on your seat you might want to be diagnosed with ADD! If bothers you THAT much and theater isn’t packed MOVE YOUR DAMN SEAT! there is no law against talking about the movie to one another or having a child in a movie in the day! ESPECIALLY a child’s movie. IT bothers ME when full grown adults go to a kid’s movie and expect it to be dead f***ing silent! Obviously you don’t have lives or you would know somethings are the way they are! Stop trying to micromanage everyone around you worrying about what they are doing and watch your darn movie! To do less then this is pathetic since you paid at least $10 to SEE it! Stop whining about prices at the movies! It’s not going to change! Grow up!!

  55. A close-cicuit camera type spot light that can target every person in every seat.

    So when one such bobblehead behaves rudely, then this bright, white light should flash on the mother- and an announcment over the intercom system to dispatch the security guard to escort the idot out the door.

  56. Yes, you’d like to go up to that teenage girl who keeps babbling with her friends and kick her in uterus to shut her up and ensure she never breeds… but that’s not considered “socially acceptable”.

    Priceless!!!

      1. My god, get over yourself. You get so worked up, it makes you look crazier than the people you’re attacking.

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