WWE Films Switching From “R” to “PG-13”

Ok, here’s a little skill testing question. What 3 thing did The Condemned, The Marine and See No Evil have in common? Think about it for a second. Ready? Well, if you said:

1) They’re all WWE Films movies
2) They’re all rated “R”
3) They all sucked beyond the ability of all suckage rating devices ability to measure

then you’d be correct! Well done! 3 beautiful hot bikini models with low moral values are on their way over to your house as you read this.

Now, I’ll be there first person to tell you that there is certainly a place in the world of film for low brow, yet fun, brainless action flicks. They have their place. That’s why I was moderately looking forward to Stone Cold Steve Austin’s “The Condemned”. I mean come on… you can’t possibly screw up an island prison fight to the death movie! Oh wait… apparently you CAN screw it up.

So does the WWE acknowledge that they’ve been making horrible movies and that’s why the box office hasn’t been doing so well for them? NOPE! According to the WWE, the fault lies with the “R” rating. The folks at Variety give us this:

WWE says the problem was that it focused on making movies that went after a hard R rating — violent horror or action pics that would appeal to the males that make up much of the company’s fanbase.

But then Stamford, Conn. execs started paying attention to the types of people who fill arenas to watch its events or tune in to its shows like USA’s “Monday Night Raw” and “Smackdown” (which recently moved from the CW to MyNetworkTV) — kids, women and families. Its target may be 18- to 24- year-old males, but the core aud is actually a broader 12-24 age range, with the rest made up of families. Women make up 30% of its viewership. Because of that, WWE will now focus on a slate of PG-13 pics that could include broad comedies.

I’m sorry… did they just say they’re also going to make COMEDIES?!?! I think I just threw up a little.

Look, the WWE is positioned to make decent brainless action movies. They have a built in audience, they havea roster filled with brainless action stars already working for them (great acting ability isn’t exactly a requirement for films like the ones they make)… they just need to stick to the basics, make it simple, make it stupid fun, and don’t bother trying to be more clever than you actually are. If they did that, they could make a decent little business model. But to do that they’ve got to bring in people who know what they’re doing, make better films, and realize no one saw their crappy little movies because they sucked, not because they were rated “R”

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13 thoughts on “WWE Films Switching From “R” to “PG-13”

  1. No, Kristina. Wghen Cena opened his mouth, it wasn’t a slo-mo camera effect. It was real time in slow motion.

  2. The Marine was pure comedy. I saw that with two friends at the discount theater, and we were dying laughing every time a building blew up in slo-mo and Cena slo-mo dove/ran out of the way of the fireball. That shit was ten times funnier than Meet The Spartans:)

  3. Kristina could not have put it better! Let’s take a good look at that. “The Rundown” was fun and entertaining. Since parting ways with WWE thought, Johnson’s career has been better than any other WWF/WWE wrestler, and his acting is also improving here and there.

    I don’t buy the “R” rating thought process. Of course, not *everything* can be They Live. (Note: I don’t want to put a scare into people, but by Campea’s 4 guidelines, it could be a future remake…it’s not something I endorse, but that was about twenty years ago) and not every director is John Carpenter.

    Minor or supporting roles has always been the strengths of the WWE/WWF wrestlers when the cross over to films. The late Andre The Giant comes to mind in The Princess Bride, for example. Or Jesse Ventura in Predator.

    AS for WWE going for comedies, what was The Marine? Shakespeare?

  4. I haven’t watched WWE in years….ever since they turned Stone Cold into that WHAT? guy. Drove me nuts.

    That being said, I still enjoyed the films! I really enjoyed See No Evil. Kane did a great job, mainly because he didn’t talk.

    I loved The Condemned. That was a great action flick. And Vinnie Jones rules.

    The Marine, was my least fave, but as Omar said, it was a throwback to 80’s action films I grew up with, such as Action Jackson and Cobra. I hate John Cena, so maybe that’s why I didn’t like it….lol.

    That being said….I enjoyed the movies, but am skeptical on a comedy. But some of the guys in the WWE are genuinely hilarious, and may be able to pull it off.

  5. I honestly don’t remember it much. I DO remember a scene where the bikers looked like they were going to attack the Hulkster, but instead claimed that they were going to sue him. It’s jokes like that, that make me want to avoid a potential WWE Comedy.

    Hey, they COULD remake Twins starring Rey Mysterio and The Big Show. That’s a movie I would go see. :D

  6. I can actually see a handful of the guys in the WWE doing some work in a comedy – Paul “The Big Show” Wight has impeccable comedic timing, as does Santino Marella. Heck, Mick Foley is a pretty funny guy too. Who knows, with the right script, a comedy could work.

    Then again, we could end up with another Suburban Commando….

  7. In the days of WWF a certain Hulk Hogan made a fairly fun little action comedy called Suburban Commando, thats a film Id use as a blueprint if I were them.

  8. And these fools wonder why The Ro…oops, Dwayne Johnson doesn’t even acknowledge them in public anymore. WWE is the ugly chick at the dance that thinks she’s hot. They have these delusions of grandeur, thinking that they are now some big-time movie studio. Let that shit go and concentrate on other things like, I dunno, purging your system of steroids so another juiced-up monster doesn’t go home and assassinate his entire family. That’d be priority number one for me if I was Vince McMahon, but thankfully I’m not.

  9. See No Evil was far better than it deserved to be and I ended up enjoying the hell out of it. The Marine was a 80’s throwback that had great action and things blowing up real nicely. Brainless fun all the way. The Condemned I haven’t seen so I can’t comment on that.
    I couldn’t care less if the films are PG 13 in the cinema, as long as they are released unrated on DVD.

  10. Wrestling is 2 things

    1) Action
    Which they’ve failed at making movies for.

    2) Soap opera
    Well it’s one of the markets they’re aiming for anyway.

    Maybe if they aim to make some Romantic comedies we might just have a winner.

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