Meet The Spartans Review

Meet The SpartansThanks for checking out our Meet The Spartans review, you can check out a video review at the bottom of the post.

I did not want to see this film, but it is part of the job. I suppressed my emotions like a Vulcan, sucked it up, and tried to keep an open mind.

The General Idea

They attempt to spoof 300, pop culture and other recently released films.

The Good

Never in my life has it been so hard to find anything redeeming about a film. Carmen Electra has some decent outfits, and we almost get to see her nude (but the movie doesn’t even have the fucking decency to deliver that).

The Bad

I hate spoof movies, and think they have become the lowest common denominator in popular entertainment. This movie excels at being absolutely awful. You have dick jokes, fart jokes, shit jokes, scads of gay jokes, and they even added a chubby spartan so they could throw in fat jokes. None of the jokes were good and all of the spoofs were horrible.

I heard some people slightly laughing at a few instances and I judged them very harshly. If you take a person to this film and they laugh; never talk to them again and tell them how you came to your decision. Tell them Doug Nagy thinks you and your ilk should be drowned in a murky river because you are stunted mentally at the third grade and your genetics need to be wiped from the collective human pool.

I will do my best to avoid everything ever done by the people that put this together. I kept feeling legitimately sad for all the actors involved, at least they got paid – but at what cost. Lot lizards wouldn’t act in this film if it meant a pay cut. This movie has no redeeming scenes and/or attributes. If I prevent people from seeing this film; I will have done a service to my fellow man.

I thought this film would be bad, but I didn’t think I would have had my time so horribly wasted. I would rather watch a custodian wash elephant assholes at the zoo for a day than sit through this film again. I did get a hot dog at the theatre; at least that was rewarding.

This movie fucking sucks, it is a waste of time and money and does not deserve the support of anyone.

For the first time ever I will give this film a 0/10 and beg you to ignore it.


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196 thoughts on “Meet The Spartans Review

  1. I’ve never liked spoof films. Basically what they are, are feature film versions of the stupid jokes you and your pot-smoking friends come up with while watching a great movie. As Doug said, it basically takes a big shit on the source material, essentially ruining whatever it is. I’m sure many people who have watched the movie already simply cannot bear to watch 300 ever again. I have seen Scary Movie 1, 2, and most of 3. I have regretted every one. Hopefully Disaster Movie will be the last disaster of a movie.

  2. Ditto to everything Marla said. I couldn’t stand this movie! I don’t know why I wanted to see it. Walked out in record time.

  3. ok, so i came upon this review from reading Johns top best and worst list of 2008 so far, and meet the spartans was the worst and suggested i watch Dougs review. I havent seen Meet the Spartans. I’ve never wanted to. i watched the review and laughed my ass off! (Doug, you are a very very funny man, ur like a tarantino of movie reviews!) But what i just couldnt understand was how much everyone was taking offense to this review! I think i was more dumbfounded by peoples snap reactions than the fact that movies like meet the spartans actually make money. Come on people! Dougs review was harmless! and what is with the “race” cards someone was pulling? and getting upset about the word fuck being used excessively? would you rather doug say fudge instead because, your unsupervised 10 year old was surfing the movie blog? these reviews arent rated. Well, thats just my 2 cents i had to put out there, this was definately something i had to comment on

  4. Next Week: Hanna Montana…

    Sorry about that, didn’t mean to call it….
    You may not hear fromme for awhile, I’m looking for the nearest bridge…even if it is ten feet over a creekbed…

  5. This movie is HORRIBLE!!!!! I should have given it a BIG FAT 0 out of 5……but I gave it 0.5. I was dreading that my friend ever invited me to go see it and he was dreading it also.

  6. ur right. everyone luvs this movie over here. and these guys are just overreacting. i hope this dude namen DOUG reads my last comment. back to u bob ^^

  7. i think you are doing the wrong Job!
    u are so aggressive and you use allot swearwords, you are so terrible. You are the worst censor that i ever saw.
    i think only you dont like that movie its just a question of taste, ever tought about that? i think that movie is pretty funny and if people can laught about themself and others, im sure they they gonna like it too.

    if i would be ur boss after this video you would be jobless because you dont know how to make ur job.
    bacause you are antisocial disrespectful and a very angry person.

    Let me see if u guys who are swearing about this movie could do itbetter. its allot of work today to make a good and interessting movie. if think you guys are just cheeky.
    try to make a good movie and then you can talk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    have a nice day!!!!

  8. @ jamie

    not a dude. and unlike some people that have to watch pornos to get happy. i get dick. i don’t need to watch a porno. so no i havent watched a porno

  9. You don’t have to see it then. People don’t forcefully make you see it. the person that did this reveiw don’t need to be all about carmen electra gettin naked. Frickin pervert. if you think she is so hot then get a boob job and look at those in the mirror. it is not right to bring down people that just want to perform for our entertament. Go get a porn movie if you want to see nude and stop crashin movies it is not right to do


    Doug you were absolutely right. I ended up getting dragged to see this by my girlfriend and ended up getting into an argument about the stupidity of the flick and left the theater a single man. I cant believe we had such different tastes.

    Never Again!!

    I’m a big fan of Airplane, Men in Tights, any movie with Frank Drebbin, but this did a true disservice to these pieces of crafty work. All in all, it was a disappointing BORE!

    Last point of advice: All of you commercial rappers slash wanna be actors need to STOP selling yourself to the movie industry for BS roles like this. IT’S NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!

  11. Although it is true that the movie is probably not too good, a review, not just movie review, but any review isn’t about what your personal opinion is.

  12. @ DON
    yeah and by Cannada you mean Maine and North Dakota and probably Alaska…the “other” states
    or really? do you mean cannada? cuz thats lik 7 huge states that are only populated on our border cuz thats the warmest area they have
    heh above fucking michingan yes thats theyre florida! im sure most of them were on crack when they saw thys movie due to the weather

    and hey, everyone
    the only reason this is number one is because theres a crappy choice of movies right now
    its like the i am legend,i eat fried worms 2, fernheit 911, Bush the bio, the jungle book 4, fight club or meet the spartans
    im like “shit i already saw the i am legend…”

    of course its number one
    why are people so shocked!?
    its lik having brittany love as the smartest person in a room
    “well u gota fill it up with some dumbases..”
    perfect example of what we have here

  13. Come to think of it, as much I hate these type of movies, one would have to think about the timing of this release.

    Let’s face it, this is January. What kind of movies does everyone want to see before the blockbusters? Sure, we got some Oscars out there, but the real “put-up-or-shut-up” money shots are out during the summer.

    In others words, Meet The Spartans chose the best time to release the movie, because not a lot of moviegoers would consider going until big movies of the summer are here. Grant it, I guess people want to see garbage once in a while before they pay for the serious contenders. Just my 2 cents, considering that Cloverfield is no longer a threat after a week from being released.

    Besides, I saw the first half of Epic Movie (at school, WTF!), and I wanted to cut class so bad (okay, that White Castle reference gave me a grin, but seriously, it sucked)! Hell, if trailers are suppose to offer 1st impressions, then Meet The Spartans made me push stop 15 seconds. Now, THAT’S not a good first impression!

  14. now you have to admite that Scary Movie, and Scary Movie 2 were good. Ever since the Waynes Bros. left the movies just got crappier and crappier.

  15. @ Darren J Seeley

    yes Mr Darren that would have been fucking crazy huh?? right?? shit fucking anna montana telling you to fuck yourself what do you say to that???

    i live in coral springs florida- and water doesnt freeze so im not suicide proof

    im sure no 1 would ever comit suicide in a frozen lake- just use a building? are u trying to drown ur self or die on impact?? if som1 does then hes probably trying to kill himself because his mom makes fun of his stupidity “UR SUCH A DUMBASS U WER AN AXIDENT THE CONDOM BROKE!” then he proves her wrong by jumping off of a brindge in montreal canada and breaks his arm…
    so dont try it dude..

  16. jesus krystina- youre fukin evil
    and i couldnt no notice u sayd “you pooped”
    oh yeah- psshh cuz “girls dont poop” ok

  17. I told you guys way back at post #26 that this would be number one this weekend. You laughed. You mocked. You pooped. But I was victorious!

    And victory has never tasted so sour.


    oh my god why would you say “jamie is not 17”
    i just turned 17
    DOUG OH DOOOUUUUG tell this person i am 17! i am offended!
    pizza is my favorite food, i like to watch espn, i dont care about politics and i want to be a pirate a cowboy or a super austronaut when i grow up. TRUST me- im seventeen.

  20. “I am really losing faith in the public.”

    Right. As opposed to who they put in office?!?

    People see the trailer…which, when I’ve been at movies and it’s played, has gotten a good reaction…and make a decision to go it. They pay their money, they takes their chances, they contribute to the box office haul.

    Where does the ‘faith’ come in?

    Mr. Nagy ‘hates’ these films. Are you in this camp, too? Are you suggesting that they should never be made? By extension, are you suggesting that they shouldn’t want to go see this ilk in the first place? Sorry to sound crabby, but what would you have preferred their monies have gone to? ‘No Country’? ‘Blood’? ‘Juno’? ‘Rambo’?

    Why do people take it so personally when a genre film gets the Number 1 BO spot? Do you do the same thing with music?

    ‘Different strokes for different folks’.

    It’s one thing to ‘hate’ something because of its genre. It’s one thing to ‘hate’ something because you’ve seen it and you thought it stunk.
    But this bit about ‘I hate the idea of this and I hate ANYONE wanting to go see it, and I especially hate the fact that it’s tops at the box office!’…isn’t this a little schoolyardish? What’s next, spitballs?

    Ah… But of course, this review kindasorta set the tone, didn’t it…?

    : )

  21. lol no the last message was me not annah montana- i just thought it would be funny
    i can immagine Darren J Seeley going like
    “wait what the fuck!!?? thats friken ironic…”

  22. Well, just because…

    1, Alcohol w/cranberry juice, Jamie. Problem solved. Drink and be merry.

    2. The thread is one post longer because it is the last post of a dead weekend.

    3. Some of the int’l friends are a bit tipsy this weekend. On second thought, NO alcohol with cranberry juice. (specially X-caliber and Gary up there. )

    4. Meet The Spartans is the No#1 film in US Box Office with $18.7 million. Now, for for those folks that ripped Doug Nagy a new one. He didn’t like the film, leave it at that. Just know this….

    5. Next Week: Hanna Montana.

    NOW you may find the nearest river to drown in…

  23. i never imagined doug to lok like that. he doesnt lok like a doug- he looks liek a chad or a ted. all of the dougs i know are fat and short
    like wen i saw the review im like “he doesnt look lke a doug! he should be…chad”
    cuz i just played it (and only half of it played idk why?)
    all the teds and chads i kno look like doug

    i look like a jamie ( a male jamie) see jamie fox doesnt lok like a jamie tho he looks like a tyrome

  24. Would would have thunk this movie would have generated a thread this long?

    See Doug, another reason why this type of movie keeps getting made.

  25. @ chris


    gu- gu- guitar, guest,gut, gum (bubble gum perhaps?), guard (u have a fukin guard? ur not chris tucker right? lik ud have to be famous 4 a guard)

    cuz its not “hat” that would be wierd who says that “hey yeah im about te meet with youre son in a dark alley- let me just get my hat” cuz ud be gay if u say that

  26. @ probitionate
    thank you. sinse i know were you live i will be lik ur body guard now. youre name is Kyle Strasser and thanks again. dont look at outside living room window. (if ur name really is Kyle Strasser im sorry i spitballed but that would be so awsome if i really guessed it)
    “hey! how does he know my name!”

    i just dobnt kno wat kettle meet pot thing meant but thats ok

  27. Jaime, I find you slightly just a bit more wierd than I’m used to and Im not wasting anymore time on here resonding to you. Have fun and take care.

    Someone – no one – who cares! lol!

  28. i love it how the “untraceble review” has 4 reviews, thats so pussy. this one has like 200 of them

    and thats wierd considering untracable was like eighteen times better then met the spartans

    so if the director of meet the spartans goes in this web site and sees 300 comments and skims it or doesnt read it- hed think we loved it.
    “they loved it! the other movie only got 4! HAHA i odnt even have to read them…”

  29. @no one
    im a babie? im inmature? well guess what ur a double babie!

    why would you call me a babie tho? thats lik wierd, i know people who eat babies and they refer to a lot of stuff as “babies” like they would eat chicken and they would say “babies are the other white meat” so theyre wierd
    when people say the words “babie” too much theyre probably crazy. so everybody watch out for this guy- his name is- AAH NOW I GET WHY YOURE NAME IS NO ONE!! AAHAAA

  30. “I am going to give you a break since your just a baby at age 17. (…) Maybe in time your typo’s will decrease with intensity also.”


    your = you’re?
    typo’s = typos?

    Kettle, meet pot.

  31. I knew what you meant when you said to drink, anyone! can drink alcohol at any age…its just illegal under age 18. I am going to give you a break since your just a baby at age 17. But… you are what they would call…
    ‘a wanker’.

    You’ve got time to mature. Maybe in time your typo’s will decrease with intensity also. Or perhaps you will learn English. :)

  32. i love it how steadily we are no longer talking about meet the spartans
    now its like illegally drinking in england, the fact that chris killed the original one and now uses “the real one” to not arouse suspision, and how no one has “no one” as his name, and how im from coral springs, how i use the word “dude”
    and somehow i got to “goblins and knomes”
    dougs lik “what the fuck are they talking abotu?!”

  33. @ probitionate
    DUDE ur such a nerd! i was lik half way done with ur mesage and i was lik “i was kidding about the drinking thing people! jesus!”
    guys- i was kidding. i do not drink. please- just- im sorry im not an alcoholic.

    “guys i can drink in england now”
    “well acording to the laws # onehundred and fourty four of the english constitution you can drink when ur 15 years and threehundred and fourty seven days old and you must own at least two goblins and a knome-” AAAHHHRG I WAS KIDDING

    but yes i might find that handy sometime if i ever go to london so..thank you probitionate :p

  34. Just to clarify the legal drinking age in the UK… You can only drink legally at age 16 IF you’re having a meal in an eating area of a licensed facility. You can’t order in a pub, a bar, whatever. At age 18, you’re legal. Drink up.

    Always found the discrepancies regarding ‘legal ages’ interesting: at 16 you’re able to drive a car and kill someone…at 17 in many countries you can be in the armed forces and kill someone…in most countries at 18 you can vote, essentially enabling people to kill on foreign soil on your behalf…and yet the drinking age varies from 18 to 21. Don’t get it. (I’m not going anywhere near ‘age of sexual legal consent’…)

  35. @ no one (that feels so funny to say!! “to no one”)

    dude when i say “drink” i mean alcohol not cranberry juice or condensed milk- or of course water (thta would be horrible, ud be dehidrated for the 1st 16 years of ur life)
    whats a wanker??
    no youre allowed to drink in elgland unless ur 16 (or older- that would be funny if u could only drink if ur 16…)
    and youre message was to long for me to comprehend and now i am stunned- im rebooting please give me a secound.
    ok im good.
    i got the massage the 1st time but you wrote it 2ce and when i was lik almost done with ur secound one i was lik “youre energy to no one…hey thats the same exact messa- does he think im stupid!? heey!”

  36. One thing I would really like to know though…What do you mean you can drink in England? Who can’t? And…if you are English….stop being such a wanker!

  37. JAIME.

    I wrote on here with regards to my feelings about the movie. I understand that there are people that have nothing better to do than surf the internet and focus all there brain cells about peoples screen names, however, I am not going to put one ounce of energy into thinking up a screen name so some numb nuts like you can think about how lame it may be. I find you comical, I hope you had fun spending your time and energy on a ‘no one’.

  38. JAIME.

    I wrote on here with regards to my feelings about the movie. I understand that there are people that have nothing better to do than surf the internet and focus all there brain cells about peoples screen names, however, I am not going to put one ounce of energy into thinking up a screen name so some numb nuts like you can think about how lame it may be. I find you comical, Im glad you spent the time and energy on a ‘no one’.

  39. no actually im from caral springs florida- but i dont like to mention this often…because when you say youre from coral springs florida…you sound like a pussy.
    so im like “yeeeaah im from fresno..” so im cool like that

    ts’ how i roll

  40. @ probitionate

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH DUDE!!! im sorry i say dude unconsiously….thats lik one of the only four words i use

    its lik..dude, gay, retarded and cool

    and yes- im 16 it would be my first lol

    and yes most spoof movies are gay (FUCK YOU SHAUN OF THE DEAD WAS HIFUKINLARIOUS)

  41. “…well, the only thing i can say, withou seeing this film…”


    This affords you about the same credibility opinion-wise as the reviewer…who, due to his declaration, shouldn’t be writing reviews of films in genres he hates. Maybe you guys should start a club! : )

  42. well, the only thing i can say, withou seeing this film, is that I totally undertand you, because justo like you, i think that all spoof films are shit even the first one, the fucking Scary Movie… One question… Why is the fucking hot Carmen Electra is in almost all of those kind of movies?

  43. ooooo….hate to say it but u got “owned” by probitionate…..LOL…this post has the best fuckin comments ever….

  44. Me and my boyfriend have very different music tastes. Basically, he likes bad movies, and I like good movies. Everytime the commercial comes on for this movie he laughs and I’m just like… this movie is trash! You can look at it and tell that it’s trash! But anywho. . . I hate spoof movies too. :)

  45. i went to see this movie last night with my boyfriend and we ended up leaving half way through it. this movie is a waste of money, i advise everyone NOT to go see it. it’s literally repulsive. people spit on eachother, throw up on eachother, and it’s just disgusting. in the beginning, everyone laughed in the theater including myself. but then suddenly everyone stopped laughing. it just got STUPID. completely stupid. they make fun of gay people, fat people, and every star/movie/show they can. i really wonder what the directors and writters look like and how they really act. because this movie was just stupid and ew. just dont go see it, trust me

  46. @probitionate

    um idk what that comment meant. and no im not pissed dude im just…saying. movies dont show shit i mean big woop it was brought up

    but what? the national treasure director sayd it? ok im not loking for that response werever that may be- cuz im lazy…but if u wanna copy and paste it that would be greeaat

    but it happens all the time and theyre usually worthless scenes with little information. i dont wanna eread an article about it dude just- i just – u kno wat whatever!!

  47. For anyone who gets pissed-off as to why movies often don’t have content the trailers do, here’s a column that addresses this issue…

    …and make sure you read the response from the director of ‘National Treasure’ contained within.

  48. @ No one (really thats ur name? couldnt think of 1 lol?)

    nooo dude i didnte see meet the spartans BUT it happens all the time when they show movies- ive seen it happen to countless movies and hey- when they come out wiht the full version say in the DVD or sometimes they show it in FX (in 3 years perhaps) theyll show it full dude- but yeah u can call it false advertising..i guess, unless they show it later like i sayd- or not…

  49. I thought this movie looked funny on the trailers. I was pissed when things shown on the advert were not in the movie. Spidey and Donald Trump, Rambo and ‘his little friend’. Whats up with that? It was shown over and over again before it was released and then we go and see the movie (due to what we thought of the trailer!) and its not even shown. Isn’t that false advertising? It was rediculous.

  50. Bassturd,

    Not showing the Monster at all would have made people More angry. Remember that movie where they find an alien structural design, build it, than some radical blows it up, than they rebuild it, than she drops down and goes through all these worm holes to meet the alien, and the alien WAS HER FATHER.”I’m too complex for you too see me so I look like your father.” That ruined the entire movie for me.

  51. “…I hate spoof movies…”

    I think all reviews, all journalism, all sports commentary should have a lead-in like this. Now THAT would be interesting.


    Still, lots of hits -and comments- from this one review (sic). Well done.

  52. This was the kind of review I’ve been waiting for. Now, if I can figure out why the fuck my computer won’t show the other half of the video review…

    I can’t believe anyone has remote interest in this shit. By showing support over crap like Meet The Spartans just increases more crap like this to be made.

  53. i saw this movie with a few of my friends today. i dont care what everybody sez. most ppl think 12 yea olds find this funny. me and my friends are twelve and we think that this crap was horrible. there was no plot, it didnt make any sense, the jokes are so old my grea grandpa has heard them millions of times, the acting sucked, and it only took place in like 3 places! whatever you do, NEVER see this movie. i agree with doug i would rather watch an elephants ass hole than c it again

  54. @Nec

    Don’t know where you’re getting your info from, but Movie City News, Variety, AND Box Office Mojo ALL report a 76% dropoff. None of these sources have lied to me yet, so 76% it is.

    And IMDB scores don’t mean jack shit. People who haven’t even seen a movie can go on there and jack up or jack down a rating.

  55. the real one or not…at least we wont watch this movie now

    and MR. T-Man seriously GIVE HIM HIS NAME BACK NOW!!!

    doug tell him to give mr t man his name back TELL HIM DOUG! yuore judge jury and executioner in this website now drop the hammer doug! name stealing is as untolerable as making fun of third graders in this web site- OH WAIT…i forgott. u like to make fun of 3rd graders… me and Mike c will no longer look up to you. you lost 2 fans

    what you get for insulting 3rd graders and drowning fans…sicko.

  56. no Cloverfield was awesome. I actually did care to go see it but ended up going with some people. Was really good. Way better than I expected. I loved how everything was kinda ambiguous due to only seeing it thru Hud’s eyes. I definitely could of done without the full shot of the monster at the end tho. It looked much kewler when you saw it rampaging thru the city in the helicopter.

  57. Meet The spartans, is indeed a bad spoof on a great movie. The sexual jokes and the repeated kicking of people down a well got old fast.
    There are some aspects that I have come to like. Not about the content of the movie, but that the director continues to make pathetic movie after another and get paid. This from my view is caused by the decline of humor in the young crowd. It takes movie after movie and makes bad joke after bad joke about them. This movie is orientented towards 12 year old boys, and thats where it should stay

  58. First of all for Cloverfield estimates are of a 65% drop not 75% drop. Most movies drop around 55% in the second weekend anyways, Cloverfield was a fanboy movie most of the fanboys and fangirls watched it on the opening weekend so the little extra drop is understandable. The movie has a 76% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes and very good 8.0 on imdb with more 26000 votes which clearly shows that most people critics and average joe’s who watched the movie liked what they saw. Cloverfield just isn’t for everyone esp those coming in and expecting a formulaic hollywood monster movie.

  59. This movie was so bad i took my own time and looked on a site to comment a bad review, this movie was so bad i would not watch it if i was given $100

  60. I have seen better movies. I would not recommend watching this dumb movie. This movie is so boring I fell asleep in it. You would have more fun doing something else then watching this crappy movie!!!! (Also the jokes were idiotic)

  61. @ Chisox
    yeah man its one of those movies you either like or really reall think sucks
    i axctually liked it i think it was really good
    i mean its new and original how they did it all in hand-held camera (did that make anyone dizzy other then me???? lol)

  62. @ funktard
    no yeah thats true- isnt that y theyre on strike? i have no clue y theyre on strike. im sure theres some way to make the free online movie thing pay directors or writers or actors without us paying i mean if the website people get payd for us getting in their website- there should be a law thta if ur website gives some1 elses stuff for free (like movies) u should split it and give some % to the writers or whatever
    maybe thats a bad idea idk im spitballing

    but yeah its total bs how theyre not geting payd for lik a MILLION people watching theyre shit online. but oh well dont terrorists have kids too? FUCK TERRORISTS AND THEYR KIDS um jk

    i mean dont get me wrong i kno ur not supposed to but- i always watch movies online for free :D I LOVE WATCHING MOVIES FOR FREE ITS AWSOME
    i kno its wrong but- every1 does it hehe

  63. @ Mr.T-man

    dude- go to and im sure theyll have it there, the only drawback is that 30% of them are bootleged or broken up into pieces but only in lik 3 or 4 parts thats all.

    but thats illegal! buy the movies on blockbuster! i didnt tell you about this! no! go to the movies! pay our nice directors the $6.50 they desserve and our writers that just went “we wont write nothing!” on us the pay they desserve for bringing great movies like meet the spartans to our living room
    (ha! no im kidding seriously check out

  64. LOL its amazin how a movie review on possible the worst piece of shit of 08 can have so many comments and stir so much debate……God bless america and God bless the internets..

    lets just ~*hug it out*~ guys! yeeeey! i love you allll!
    i think Doug and Mike should seriously hug

    X-caliber and funktard should go snorkling to show a sign of world peace

    no homo!

  66. I dunno…I read thru some of your comments and you insulted more people than anyone on here. You even used the n word…lowest of the low imo. I don’t care if it was you showing an example of something or not…very uncalled for.

  67. Eh, formulated opinions take space. Direct assaults such as “omg, yore’ so dmub fer lking tihs movie!!!!111 lOLZ!” on the other hand don’t take quite as much.

  68. The word prejudice would be better. You are welcome.

    X-caliber, you are obviously a troll. I would just like to tell you that you suck at it because you are too obvious.

  69. @X-caliber

    The movie has 0%. That means no critic liked it…not just this site. Many reviews even bash the directors (rightfully so). I wouldn’t even call this movie a comedy/parody/funny…anything. They don’t even make fun of other movies. They simplely take bits from movies/news/tv and then RE-DO it in their movie. For instance, in 300 the guy kicks someone into that big hole. So what do we see in “Meet the Spartans”…a guy kicking people into the hole. Ummm, that is not a parody…that is plagerism. They did the same thing in Date Movie. I can’t speak for Epic Movie because I never saw it and I only saw Date Movie because I got it free.

    In other words X-caliber…drown yourself in a small puddle immediately.

  70. Wait, so a bunch of elitist asses, who think they are above this sort of comedy, can bash my opinions all they want and I can’t get riled up over it?

    The most ironic thing here is the movie is generating a truck-load of money while you self-righteous “holier-than-thou” types spout your nonsense. Yes it’s toilet humor, yes it’s brash, and yes it’s making more money than you see in a year…. on it’s first day out.

    This site also boasts Spiderman 3 as the worst movie of 2007? It, too, made good money.

    So, ignore the useless “head-up-their-ass” reviews you find on this site and just experience the damn thing for yourself. Make up your own mind. These ass-hats on the internet that have nothing better to do than deface the image of someone’s work, while not contributing anything better themselves, they are the one’s that need to get a life.

  71. I’m sorry to say that my girlfriend’s sister saw this movie with her friends Friday night. They are all 14 years old mind you, but I told her NOT to see this movie. Then she goes along and sees it any ways. What should I do to make her, and her friends, not see movies like this again?

  72. I used racism for lack of a better word. I was trying to say, hatred or intolerance of another human being based on their likes and dislikes, which I see now is completely retarded.

    I’m not a frequent viewer of Themovieblog (I’ve scene doug do a review twice maybe) and didn’t understand that he was joking about all of it.

    And no i haven’t seen Meet the Spartans (but that wasn’t the point I was getting at).

  73. Uhh Mike, you definitely don’t understand the definition of racism, so I would like to point you to the website on my name. Please read it, it will be very informative for you. I’m not sure how you could possibly be taking Doug’s humor so seriously, but
    #1: its the internet
    #2: If you enjoyed Meet The Spartans or thought that it looked like an enjoyable movies, you really should drown yourself.
    #3: Take a fucking chill pill

  74. i meant to say 0/10 in my last message (shit 1/10 is pretty bad too but whatever)

    still i think you have to be stone cold fuck nuts to watch the movie after reading this review and the coments that followed it

  75. @ mr Nagy
    i just hope you never get to watch a custodian wash elephant assholes at the zoo for a whole entire day- if those ARE the circumstances- i think id have to watch meet the spartans.

    and- really?? a 1/10? isnt that like a…zero percent?? jeeesus it musta been bad…

  76. I wasn’t saying it was racism like I’m black and your white.

    I was trying to say you were being racist to the people who liked the movie.

    I obviously blew it out of context.

  77. Yea I don’t know, it just really angered me (and you know the stupid shit people say and do when they’re mad). And I’ve been sitting here all day with basically nothing to do (except computer it up), and mull over it.

    “but will not LITERALLY hate you.” – Yep that cleared it up, I thought you were actually being serious about this part…

    People (I’m referring to me) can be stupid sometimes.

  78. @doug

    please no racist jokes dude- keep it clean.
    i have to admit i was offended when you sayd that 3rd graders are dumb considering i was once a third grader, are you saying im dumb?? is that what you are implying?? are 3rd graders dumbasses? and do our mothers spoon fe4ed us? no! were just like you- you make me sick and honestly, i hope ur sons turn out to be 3rd graders one day.
    but its ok!!! i accept youre apology

  79. @mike c

    yeah thats true doug did pretty much say that 13% of america (or w.e. percentage liked the movie idk maybe 30%) should drown. im sure that worse stuffs been sayd in this website. and it was a joke but still its kinda wierd i guess- and he did say that you should drown mike so IDK MIKE I WOULDNT TAKE THAT SHIT!! no im jk

    untill the day that he says that all marvel comic fans are camel shit eating dumbasses- im cool wiht him.

    um- i guess im neutral about this i dont wanna say anything other then I DONT CARE ABOUT MEET THE SPARTANS! lol i mean- i dont like spoof comedies! i can watch good comedies but not this kind- and i lik action better! i try to stick to good comedy, action, fantasy and action and action!

  80. @ Mike C

    It should be apparent and obvious that I am joking.

    I use extreme examples for comedic effect.

    If you like this movie, I am confused, but will not LITERALLY hate you. Nor do I actually want anyone to die. That was also a joke.

    Mike, people make fun of movies I like all the time. It is part of the fun of of the site, even when people bust my chops. See The Bucket List Review

    I am concerned that you would pull the race card because racism involves race, and none were mentioned in the review

    I hope this clarifies any confusion.

    This movie is still a 0/10 and that is no exaggeration.

  81. “that is borderline racism”….LOL
    wow…..whatever harsh ur smokin on pass that shit over here….LOL….
    humor like this is stupid and retarded…..i liked the scary movie movies….i loved anchorman…..but movies like this and epic movie are bottom of the barrell……come on now a deal or no deal spoof in a spoof of 300 come on……a transformers knock-off were the guy shows a video of the chick cryin abour brittney spears…….kickin brittney spears in the pit of death…..stomp the yard? really? thats funny? wtf this is just a movie version of best week ever…..

    humor based on pop culture has been murdered by movies like this…..a regular 300 spoof is a good idea….so many things u can talk about……but then u gotta add every little thing that is seen on youtube or the internets and call it funny……thats what i hated about epic movie….spoofin shit just because it was on tv……epic movie failed on every spoof it attempted……the pale guy from da vinci code said im rick james bitch…..come on!! thats funny? really?…or the mutant who went to school with the x-men…..or the cribs and punk’d parts…..God i fuckin hated epic movie and this looks like its gonna be the same thing….

  82. I’m not a little kid who’s complaining about all the cursing and what not, I don’t give a shit about that. I can take many jokes, but this pushed me over the edge. If your going to write a review saying the movie, “Fucking Sucks,” Fine. But don’t say, “This movie sucks and if you like it you suck.” Thats what he was saying, he was joking about the “kill yourself” part, but he wasn’t joking about the “if you like this movie you suck.” That is borderline racism (which is probably why it offended me so much).

  83. @ Doug

    tsk tsk
    ok Doug! you might have gotten a little too far! no more drowning jokes! thats a NO-NO! stick to the “you were stunted mentally at the third grade” jokes- those are fine

    everybody….we all feel sorry about youre cousin!! he was never a good swimer! and dougs joke was not intended to hurt ur feelings and bring back memories about him- he never should have gone to the deep end.

  84. Mike C

    aaaaaahhh i guess so i mean if u look at it that way
    it is kinda sick if it were the case that hes serious. but yeah i see wat ur saying
    and to answer the “how can a joke about ending ur life” question- that was pretty funny TO ME im not being an ass to u dude but im saying I found it kinda funny and i might be slightly crazy i dont kno u tell me dud.
    i mean if this were the fridays “showtime” section of the newspaper- then people would be pissed- but its an opinion website so..and yeah wat he sayd can be offensive to some people out there and that sucks but this isnt a web site that aims to have middle schoolers as the potential viewers/commentators.

    but yeah man its your view and other different opinions and thats different then other peoples which is wat makes comenting about movies and this country so great (sorry Katskachioslavania)

  85. Ok today I am going to see Meet The Spartans!
    I think that stuff like that is funny and some
    people do think it is funny also because it is soo
    Like the Scarey Movies I went to the movies to see all
    of them and after the movie I herd at least 15 people
    eveytime I went say the reason I like thse movies is because that they are soooo retarted!!
    And you don’t need to curss so bad my 10 year old daughter was the one that found you soo ya!!!

  86. What I was trying to say is, (put out of context) “No one should be above the law.” The rules (although it says “commenting” rules, obviously they wouldn’t post rules about what they can and can’t do) say to have a conversation without randomly insulting each other. Yes it was a joke, but a joke like that is an insult to me (probably most jokes insult someone, but this joke was, if you like the movie – than kill yourself, and you were saying it in a serious tone, which could add to the calamity of it I guess but its still very harsh..).

    So basically (I’m having trouble trying to put my thoughts into words, can’t you tell?) i’m having trouble seeing the joke as a joke. Its a joke to the people who agree with you, but an insult to those who disagree with your opinion. I understand “its a joke lighten up but like, whos going to say “oh haha i should kill myself and all my friends should hate me now.” And because of that You are disrespecting anyone who didn’t hate the movie as much as you and that is unacceptable for us the reader to do, and it shouldn’t be allowed for the poster to do so. If can’t insult you, you sure as hell better not insult me or i’m going to be pissed!

    I’m trying not to let my emotions get the best of me but they are (notice all the conflicting text, and such). Hope you get my point.

  87. Jamie,

    I’m going for the bigger picture. Up at the very top of any page on this website it has a link for, “Commenting Rules.” The rules state that when having a conversation, you should respect the other… Even if it is a joke (which I didn’t see, it just completely offended me). Actually I’m still having trouble seeing it as a joke, thats a horrible thing to say to someone, joking or not. Saying, “You should go drown in a river” as a joke ISN”T A JOKE. It’s sick. How can joking about ending someones life be funny?

    Anyways my emotions completely got in the way of what I was trying to say in the beginning (and now I can’t remember…) annd have a nice day.

  88. oh and just for the record- no i havent seen this movie so im not saying it sucks but if a movie expert sayd that about a movie- then you start to get thoughts and doubts about the movie. so no, im not watching it- ever, and since im not sayiong its a good or bad movie im just not going to watch it merely because im more interested in watching Rambo and Cloverfield for the 123142th time and i find meet the spartans not bad- but a waste of time NOT BECAUSE OF THIS REVIEW but because im an action films and fantasy films kind of guy- i mean i ocasionally watch comedy flicks but only if thwey seem funny in the previews- and this didnt seem funny. simple as that. but if i see a horrible spiderman 4 preview- im still watching spiderman 4 cuz im an action film kinda guy and im a geek AND HEY THATS ME. my decission on not to see this has nothing to do with this review, im old enough to think for myself and MY OPINION is- im not interested, not while Rambo and Cloverfield are out- not a chance. this web site is not about facts its about opinions- dougs opinion is: Meet The Spartans pawns
    my opinion about Meet the Spartans: i cant wait till ironman comes out

  89. @ Mike C

    hey- no- ok if i was doug trust me my review would have been worse then that and yes the review was a little harsh towards the people who liked it- but, it was a funny review for all of us who hated it it! and btw- who liked meet the spartans??? but i totally get ur point mike and yes- im sure doug was kidding, if you like that movie- no, you do not have the intelligence of a 5 year old and no you shouldnt drown yourself

    i doubt thta anyone that liked this movie read Dougs review and ended up having a crappy day- if i liked it and i read that review, i woulda still laughed

    i mean- i doubt doug was serious when he sayd this:
    “”Tell them Doug Nagy thinks you and your ilk should be drowned in a murky river because you are stunted mentally at the third grade and your genetics need to be wiped from the collective human pool.”
    trust me, if he WAS serious- then doug is a very very very fucking sick person, and he needs years and years of fucking therapy- but obviously hes not and if you think he is- then maybe that means you liked that movie so- kill yourself.

  90. I can’t get over how everyone is praising you over this review. Insulting the Movie: Good. Insulting people who can’t help that they like the Movie: Pathetic.

    But I guess its alright if you insult people since your the reviewer. If I said, “I think your a lunatic who belongs in a mental hospital,” after I saw your brand of humor than I would be ridiculed because I’m just the commenter.

  91. For some reason I said your name was Dave. Probably because I despise a person whose name is Dave, and your names sound alike.

    My impulse is to insult you, Doug, but I’m better than that.

  92. “This movie excels at being absolutely awful. You have dick jokes, fart jokes, shit jokes, scads of gay jokes”
    This could be a review of Superbad which has to be the most over rated comedy of all time

  93. “This movie fucking sucks and if you like it I think less of you, I think you should drown.” – Dave

    I can’t believe you would stoop so low and say this. Just because you hate it doesn’t mean you should hate people for liking it. Now I don’t want to associate with YOU anymore for thinking so radically.

    If you were saying it as a joke, than you are no better then the movie your reviewing.

    The commenting rules state “2) Show respect to the people you are having the conversation with” which is something you need to learn how to do. Apparently, you are, “An idiot with the intellectual capacity of a 5 year old”

    I have lost total respect for you.

  94. not that I disagree with you all, because I refuse to pay for this movie as well, but when it comes to these movies, I enjoy them when I want to kill brain cells, for I dont drink that much and I dont smoke anything….so it is nice to die a little inside sometimes…lol.

    The person who said shaun of the dead sucked…..uh, only if by sucked you mean one of the funniest movies ever.

  95. There’s no need to see the movie to give it a 0. Someone already admitted to seeing it on another forum. And if I’m not mistaken, Dan said he saw it (in these comments). All I can ask is why? Why would you give you money to talent-less losers?

  96. This review made my day…I think, actually hope, that this review would make more money than the shit of a movie that is Meet The Spartans.

  97. HAHAHA isit really that bad?? i mean cmon. hooly shit that was the most negative review ever! no- dont get me wrong, i totally agree with it its just that its funny as hell

    dont worry doug- i will spread the word

  98. haha! that has to be the funnyest fucking review ever!!! oh my god! lol

    but yes- spoof movies are gay and just watching the trailer is embarrasing to me

  99. I got a¨car accident moment¨as soon as i finished Doug s review.
    I know the view will be horrible!but i have to see it!
    well…im guilty.

  100. Doug, you sir are a GENIUS!! Loved that ‘public service announcement’ and totally agreed with it!!

    I will never darken a cinema’s doorway with the expectation of going to see this crapfest.

    Thank you for your review!

  101. maybe if we all had ADHD we’d see the ‘brillance’ of this movie too…. that has to be it, the quick cuts and stupid jokes are aimed perfectly at todays youth and their nonexistant attention spans

  102. As sad as it is to say i could see this being #1. i teach high school and this movie is right in the wheel house of those kids. I’ve had to listen for months about how this is going to be the ‘best movie ever’, with one girl commenting that shes ‘been waiting her entire life’ for this movie. I can see it being #1 this weekend just based on the throngs of teens and tweens that don’t know any better and think it the next coming of christ….. With any luck once they lay eyes on this cinematic abomination they’ll come to their senses, but I doubt it…. this will be #1 on DVD when it comes out too….. This is truly a sad time for film fans.

  103. I want to see a Tarantino-directed short that involves Frank Miller calmly and methodically loading a shotgun, driving accross L.A. and dispassionately killing Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, thus ending our suffering.

  104. And I’m pretty sure this will be the number one movie this weekend. Cloverfield will fall off, and that Diane Lane shit isn’t going to do well. This thing has been marketed to death, so don’t be shocked to see this get bigger than expected numbers this weekend. 25-30 million this weekend.

  105. I was watching Mel Brooks’ Robin Hood: Men In Tights the other night, and while I hate the recent batch of spoof movies, I really love Men in Tights. The difference between a film like Men in Tights and this tosh is that MIT had a damn funny script and game actors who could pull it off without being laughable in the wrong way(God bless Cary Elwes!). You have to actually have a clever idea behind your movie. Tossing out pop references left and right does not make your film a witty satire. Just makes your film LAZY.

  106. @Nec and Basstard:

    Hot Shots! Part Thrice will one day be here before you know it.
    Okay, maybe not. It was a thought.


    There was a time when spoof films, such as the ZAZ-ness of Airplane or Hot Shots!, or the Wayans’ I’m Gonna Git You Sucka was pure gold. But the problem today is that there are simply one too many trips to the well, and the spoofness has thin focus. You know it’s trouble when they need to resort *exclusively* to bathroom humor. You know it’s a serious wreck when they get off track of the genre they are spoofing, and go all over the map. It’s taking a gag and repeating it until it isn’t funny anymore.

    How many jokes about hygine (or lack therof) can one take in one film? Is that all there is?

    It is time these films be given a rest. Wait a few years when there is something to spoof-and spoof well.

  107. lol well i have seen airplane a few times….and well ass much as people complain about these movies yet they praise airplane….airplane sucked IMO …i mean what have a bunch of shitty actors and celebs….wtf is this…same thing….fuck all spoof movies….get over them all!

    doug your biased on biasedness! i am now biased upon all your biasednesses!….bye

  108. Watching this review actually makes me want to see this movie. Does that make me a bad person? Fear not though, I’ll pirate it before I pay to see it.

  109. The scary thing is that tracking is showing that this movie has a legitimate chance at coming #1 at the box office this weekend.

  110. very funny review. The trailer looks like the most horrible shit ever….which almost makes me curious to see how BAD it actually is. But the keyword is “almost” because I don’t want to give money to such horrible crap.

  111. NBAKid2000:

    I LOVED Scary Movie 3. The Zuckers truly do have genius in their blood. However, their job on Scary Movie 4 didn’t faze me as much, mostly because it seemed as though they were trying TOO hard to ensure their film didn’t differ too far from what had become the standard Spoof. I call attention to the scene where Carmen Elektra takes a shit in front of the hall of Villagers. Didn’t seem very Zuckerian to me.

    PS: Shaun of the Dead was fantastic.

    PPS: I replied to your comment in Serena’s post, if you’re interested.

  112. I’m going to immediately seek this out online and watch it.

    Scary Movies 3 and 4 were fantastic because they had the guys from Airplane! behind them. The rest of the above mentioned films absolutely sucked and I totally agree.

    That said, next week when I get to school I’m gonna watch this movie to see how bad it is.

    P.S. Shaun of the Dead sucked too.

  113. Important note for the commentors above me: this film is a SPOOF. NOT a parody. There is a difference, and it is a big difference.

    Spoof films = Scary Movie, Epic Movie, Date Movie, Meet the Spartans, etc. These are films that are designed to lambast a genre. To insult it. To make it look like shit.

    Parody films = Shawn of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Gosford Park, etc. These are films that are designed more to honor the genre, while laughing at it’s cultural archetypes along the way. A certain amount of love for the source material has to be present in a parody – this factor is not present in films like Meet the Spartans. This genre used to be very common, but with the emergence of the spoof film in the late 70s, it has all but gone out the window.

    So please… don’t do a disservice to the parody by trying to apply Meet the Spartans to its definition.

  114. I watched this movie for free while at work (I work at a cinema) with some other staff. They cackled the whole way through, every single joke landed big time and they had an absolute ball with it. And then that came out saying it was crap! I don’t get it.

    For the record, I absolutely detested it, but after seeing Epic Movie (also free again) I wasn’t as shocked by its complete lack of substance and creativity. I was suprized by how incredibly cheap it was. Failed effects shots (vacuum to the sandman foot being one). It musta had like 4 sets. Most of the movie took place in one set than felt like a tiny little shitty ass set. This movie had cash grab written all over it, more so than I would have imagined anyone would have the balls to do!

  115. Parody movies used to be good – when political correctness didn’t exist. People lost the ability to laugh at themselves, got all “sensitive” and out went the really good parody jokes of any Mel Brooks movie or the people behind Airplane. Think about it – what kind of stink would have happened if Mel Brooks decided to produce Blazing Saddles now instead of over twenty years ago?

  116. I would say that this is, officially, the best film review of all time and i am going to make it my duty to spread it to every forum that i associate with (which isn’t many but it’s the thought that counts).

    I hope Ken Datvian doesn’t try to poison John’s french dip sandwhich next time he’s at his resteraunt:)

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