Meet The Spartans Review

Meet The SpartansThanks for checking out our Meet The Spartans review, you can check out a video review at the bottom of the post.

I did not want to see this film, but it is part of the job. I suppressed my emotions like a Vulcan, sucked it up, and tried to keep an open mind.

The General Idea

They attempt to spoof 300, pop culture and other recently released films.

The Good

Never in my life has it been so hard to find anything redeeming about a film. Carmen Electra has some decent outfits, and we almost get to see her nude (but the movie doesn’t even have the fucking decency to deliver that).

The Bad

I hate spoof movies, and think they have become the lowest common denominator in popular entertainment. This movie excels at being absolutely awful. You have dick jokes, fart jokes, shit jokes, scads of gay jokes, and they even added a chubby spartan so they could throw in fat jokes. None of the jokes were good and all of the spoofs were horrible.

I heard some people slightly laughing at a few instances and I judged them very harshly. If you take a person to this film and they laugh; never talk to them again and tell them how you came to your decision. Tell them Doug Nagy thinks you and your ilk should be drowned in a murky river because you are stunted mentally at the third grade and your genetics need to be wiped from the collective human pool.

I will do my best to avoid everything ever done by the people that put this together. I kept feeling legitimately sad for all the actors involved, at least they got paid – but at what cost. Lot lizards wouldn’t act in this film if it meant a pay cut. This movie has no redeeming scenes and/or attributes. If I prevent people from seeing this film; I will have done a service to my fellow man.

I thought this film would be bad, but I didn’t think I would have had my time so horribly wasted. I would rather watch a custodian wash elephant assholes at the zoo for a day than sit through this film again. I did get a hot dog at the theatre; at least that was rewarding.

This movie fucking sucks, it is a waste of time and money and does not deserve the support of anyone.

For the first time ever I will give this film a 0/10 and beg you to ignore it.

YOU CAN CHECK OUT THE VIDEO VERSION OF THE REVIEW HERE:

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