I’ve noticed something over the years with my girl friends who are single or who are not happy in their relationships. They LOVE watching romantic comedies and dramas. One phrase you can pretty much guarantee hearing when you have a girl’s night in watching romantic movies that all star anyone who has grazed the cover of People’s ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ issue is, “Why can’t I meet a guy like that?” Well ladies, it’s because…THERE ARE NONE. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not a man-hater. I’m just saying movies depict men in an unrealistic way, therefore causing many women to have unrealistically high expectations of what makes a good boyfriend/husband. So, I thought I would make up a list and point out the many movie myths when it comes to the male gender.
1. WE EXPECT OUR PRINCE CHARMING TO LOOK LIKE BRAD PITT
Okay, let’s start with the easy one first. In movies, women always usually fall for the handsome lead. Thus, causing women in real life to use that celebrity or character as a basis of comparision regarding their own relationships. As much as I would love to be taken by Boris Kodjoe, it’s most likely not going to happen.
2. MEN DO NOT SPEAK IN MONOLOGUES PROFESSING THEIR LOVE TO YOU
In almost every romantic comedy or drama I’ve seen, the male lead will usually profess his undying love to the female lead (usually after a huge fight or temporary breakup) in these long and lengthy speeches that make Hamlet’s soliloquies look short, and that also usually make most womens’ hearts melt. Movies like ‘Disturbia,‘ ‘Jerry Maguire,’ and ‘Chasing Amy’ are all notorious for this. This causes many women to get depressed, because usually the closest thing a woman gets to getting a man to profess their love to her is when he gives her(voluntarily) the last chicken wing off his plate.
3. BEING A CONSTANT BITCH WILL NOT MAKE THE GUY WANT YOU MORE
Tell me if this sounds familiar. Boy meets girl. Girl is repulsed by boy. Boy keeps hounding girl. Girl eventually caves in and falls for once repulsive boy. Movies like ‘One Fine Day,’ ‘Something New,’ ‘Six Days and Seven Nights‘ and many others have all had female leads that literally treat the men like sh*t, and yet the men STILL pursue the women after being constantly rejected by them. Girls, let me tell that although playing hard to get and having a little attitude may help you catch a guy, treating the object of your affection like sh*t will get you nothing more than a “angry booty call” out of him.
4. FIRST TIME SEX IS NEVER AS GOOD AS IT LOOKS ON FILM
In the obligatory sex scenes in romantic movies, we usually see two bodies mesh in a perfectly choreographed way and the woman always has the most intense orgasm. We usually forget the first time with someone usually involves awkward positions and “shortcomings.” (If you catch my drift)
5. DO NOT EXPECT GRAND GESTURES
A few years ago, I got mad at my long term boyfriend at the time because he hadn’t done anything romantic for me. (i.e. Grand f*cking Gestures) How I longed for him to serenade me off key like Jerry O’ Connell and Adam Sandler did for their ladies in ‘Scream 2’ ( yup..even horror films are guilty of this) and ‘The Wedding Singer.’ Or for him to even carry me out of my workplace like Richard Gere carried Debra Winger out of the factory in ‘An Officer and a Gentleman.’ I remember him being angry at me after that…because I hadn’t appreciated all the little things he had done that were so much more important. :(
6. HE WILL NOT CHASE YOU IN THE RAIN
In fact he probably won’t chase you period. How many movies have you seen where the couple onscreen get into a fight, and the woman runs away, and the man catches up with her and turns her around to give her a passionate kiss? (I’ve lost count after ‘The Notebook.’) Let me tell you, that hardly happens. The only passionate thing I’ve gotten when I storm off after a fight is the finger.
7. HE WILL NOT RUIN YOUR WEDDING
I remember years ago I went to a psychic and they had told me that the man I loved was going to stop my wedding in the future. It was then, I realized I was getting jipped. Every woman has probably daydreamed in their lifetime about the one true love of their life stopping their wedding (like they do in the movies) and driving off on their motorcycle, (never understood that) and living happily ever after. Honestly, if that fantasy were to happen, it wouldn’t go down like that. You would probably be surrounded by debt (due to the costs of the wedding you skipped out on) and probably living in some remote place due to the fact that your jilted groom has probably put a hit on you and your “one true love.” Isn’t it just romantic? (Now I really hope the psychic is going to be wrong!)
Although our relationships may not seem as glamourous as they do in the movies, women (or the women around me at least) need to realize a man does not need to wear a cape or ride a valiant steed to be our hero or knight in shining armor. Honestly, forget movies’ perception of men, and deal with men for how they are and not how you would like them to be. If men did the same thing women did when watching their action movies, they would expect us to have perfect hair and make-up 24/7, an incurable sexual desire, and no PMS.
That’s just my take on the subject. Are there any other movie myths I’m leaving out?