If the Halo Movie is Anything like Halo 2… Spare Us

I was gonna name this article “Halo 2 ‘DOOMed’ to Suck” but I figured that was lame.

So am I writing this to get the vid-geeks worked up? Maybe.. But honestly, I really do mean this.

When it comes to video games, I’d like to say I know what I’m talking about. It’s sad, I know, but it’s true. I am learning as the years go by, that life brings one to play less, but that doesn’t change the fact that I get full use out of my HD Loader and in my gaming hey-days, I:
Played defender until the computer crashed from level counting.
Beat the tar outta Mike Tyson over and over and over… (007 373 5963)
Held an Unreal Tournament Server record for over two years.
Beat the original Zelda in one sitting. Twice.
Would play 4-on-1 Heretic and I’d win 30-1.
Beat both the Arcade versions of UN Squadron and Killer Instinct 2 on one quarter.

Bottom Line: When it comes to vids I’m not an idiot – I won’t say I’m the best but I’m not dumb. My video game playing spans across 3 different decades. And guys, (and the VERY occasional girl) I’m sorry, but I sat down and played for a good number of hours the other night and: Halo 2 sucks. No really. It does.

Now before you blow your first orgasm getting angry at me, if you only play Halo 2 for online play, I’m not talking about that. I’m no dullard Online play is a whole new ballgame and very addictive in its own right. I’m talking about just the game. Cow flop.

Bad, overused enemies, boring and very over-used weapons with lousy, and I mean lousy, method of arming yourself, no varients in foot-speed, no dodge-jumping, no progammable button configuration (only presets), jumping requires removing thumb from the analog stick. Hardly, if at all, any difference in movement between species of human and alien. Bad, bad, bad. I’m shocked that all you folks have made the thing so popular. I had more control with Contra. Does really cool stuff happen 50 hours into the game? It’s too late by then.

Why say all this? Well, because the concept of Halo the movie didn’t exactly blow wind up my skirt in the first place and now, I will certainly be wind-free. My interest is now zero. I realize we knew this already, but the we’re-only-making-this-movie-because-the-game’s-popular factor has ballooned to ridiculous levels. Yes, sure, sure, Doom is the exact same thing.. but Doom was at least ground breaking (yes, I know about Wolfenstien 3D, but you know what I mean) and by now, Doom has some nostalgia factors going for it (that game’s over a decade old folks) Halo, forget that, Halo 2 hasn’t even been around a year yet and bloop there it is, in all its digital-crap-to-celluloid-crap transfer glory.

Mind you, given the chance to be in it, I’m sure I’d say yes. Heretic anyone?

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23 thoughts on “If the Halo Movie is Anything like Halo 2… Spare Us

  1. okay i completly disagree with this, halo 2 owns @$$ i play online almost everyday and i get around 20-30 kills or sometimes 40. BUT IT OWNS and there is a lot of girls playing halo 2 , probably every 5th game there’s at least one girl i played. I think that is very good because unlike some people that make fun of them and call them fat and freaks. And i kbnow some of you do so dont disagree because i play with my sister and i heard the comments so to all you jerks chicks could own ur @$$ anyday.>>GT funkiemunkey >>>>>

  2. hm yeah grammer is spelt “grammar” douch bag. by the way I am 13 and when you go on the comp and post things there will alwyas be errors and things like that. so dont say all that shit just because I have bad GRAMMAR.

  3. First of all, as posted by person up above…(who is obviously an immature 13-year old…learn to use proper grammer)

    “halo rocks if you hate it its cuz you suck at it/havent played it on xbox live. also if your gonna complain that story mode is too easy then play legendary and dont say thats too easy cuz your a lieing bitch.”

    Yes, Halo rocks…Halo 1 that is. But you have to remember that when you compare Halo 1 to Halo 2, it is like comparing apples to oranges. They are COMPLETELY different. Halo 1 featured an engrossing evironment with a complex story arc, adrenaline-pumped combat (especially on harder difficult levels), and amazing graphics. It set the bar for CONSOLE shooters. Granted there are other awesome shooters out for the PC, but once again, that is like comparing fruits to vegetables…they are compeletely seperate and different things.

    Halo 2, while it did have amazing, state-of-the-art console graphics, did suffer from what 99.9% of all sequels to highly successful game with suffer from – hype. The Halo 2 story is a very rich story, albeit a little short (by about 10 gaming hours). Halo 2 was so hyped up, it had nowhere to go but down.

    Next point to remember is that Halo 1 and Halo 2 have completely different multiplayer venues. Halo 1 had the best story, but the multiplayer got very monotonous and boring at times, especially when it is hard to dig up 12-16 people to play with. Halo 2 triumphs in the multiplayer department, hands down! I can get on Xbox Live at noon, 8PM, or midnight, and always find people who are willing to play. The very idea of playing with people around the world any time of the day easily makes it the better game for multiplayer. Clans, voice, scoreboards, and ever-changing human opponents give it a challenege the no AI and Halo 1 multiplayer will ever be able to beat.

    In conclusion, saying Halo 2 completely sucks is a very short-sighted and immature answer. The Halo 2 story may suck, but the multiplayer definately grabs the trophy.

    P.S. Use good grammer.

  4. halo rocks if you hate it its cuz you suck at it/havent played it on xbox live. also if your gonna complain that story mode is too easy then play legendary and dont say thats too easy cuz your a lieing bitch.

  5. Exactly how is Halo 1 or 2 a mediocre game…It has a story with a very good plot without robbing from some other game. It has movie cut sequences that are very graphical and ties the game completely into itself without loop holes. The games difficulty really does increase the higher the setting is and the AI actually varies with each setting. Both games and the books all tie into eachother to make a complete story…not just a jump around with new characters being added that completely disrupt the story line. And as for whoever said real FPS are on the PC…Halo is on the PC. And as for Wormwood…you claim to be this ultimate gamer but you really think this way of this game…name another FPS that is this succesful. Whether you are just playing the game or Multiplayer…Halo is untouchable in the genre. As for the movie, I am somewhat skeptical…but with bungie holding the reigns to the plot then I highly doubt this will be just another video game suckfest. I think the movie is going to blow some people away…and I dont say that as a fan…as a matter of fact, I love Doom…but as for the movie…I am going to boycott that motherf*#@er…well I am sure my opinion really doesnt matter to the Doom cast a crew but still…they took the story and destroyed it to make it politically correct…that is the difference between the Halo movie and all others of this genre…Bungie and Microsoft are not allowing the story to get tarnished by some director who just wants to add his style and ideas, thus ruining the movie. I hope they dont model the movies after the games already existing storyline…i hope we see something new. But anywayz, my hand hurts so my rant is over.

  6. yo, halo2 is the best fukin game ever so shut the hell up. Its gunna be a fuckin good film too. All of you that hate it are gay.

  7. Original post is right on the money. Halo 2 is a mediocre game at best. Furthermore, Halo, the “Hollywood” movie will be as successful as all the previous “video game” movies, that is…it will suck pure ass.

  8. i want to say this to the guy who owns this site… you are a fag for thinking THAT badly about halo 2. If you put too many different features in it like doging and smake grenades and all that crap then it becomes socom… you put lazers and really sci-fi stuff it becomes starwars. halo is just right the way it is. you must suck at it and your taking all the small bad things about it and turning it into a big deal. either that or you have no life and all you do is play other first person shooting games all day.

    p.s. fuck you

  9. That article was a total waste of time to brag about your gaming skills and hd loader. Big woop. With all your skills you don’t seem to know that you can just program it yourself using other equipment, like for example a smartjoy frag that allows you to use a keyboard and a mouse to play it.

    I never cared for Halo or Halo 2, but I beat them nonetheless, for the story. When I get time (it certainly won’t be during classes and I take them year around), but maybe like over Christmas break or something I am going to sit down and read the books (which I hear are critically loved).

    There are only two points to Halo. The story and the multiplayer. The multiplayer utilizes xbox live better than any game ever has and is by far the best console online game ever made, just for features and ability to actually do everything lag free. You rarely hear anyone bragging that they keep playing the single player, but I will tell you this, I have friends over all the time and I have a modded gamecube, ps2, and xbox with virtually any game in existence on any platform at my disposal in no time, but they always run right to halo 2 multiplayer online (even my friends who hate video games and never, ever play them anywhere). They have a ball playing it.

    Oh and with all those video games and so forth I play a game maybe once a week at most, like for maybe an hour of tiger woods or something. I can’t sit still for more than an hour. Congratulations on all your accomplishments for sitting on your ass over an extended period of time. Really.

  10. Wow, this whole news post was incredibly dumb. Do you really need to “prove” to us of your gaming skills? Do you really need to ramble on about your problems with the button layout? Does ANY of that have ANYthing to do with a Halo movie? Nope.

    A movie is about story, which isn’t mentioned even once in this post. Leave your videogame rants to the fanboy forums, please.

  11. Alright what kind of idiot would say that ( talking about the comment in front of me )? First of all halo 2 isn’t the game where you have to be most talented, it isn’t an actual good shooter. Anyone who plays halo or halo 2 regularly doesen’t know anything about shooters. Real shooters are on the PC.

  12. Alright what kind of idiot would say that? First of all halo 2 isn’t the game where you have to be most talented, it isn’t an actual good shooter. Anyone who plays halo or halo 2 regularly doesen’t know anything about shooters. Real shooters are on the PC.

  13. “I’ve just seen the Korean movie “A Bittersweet Life”. It basically had a simple, unoriginal, 10 minute story – guy falls in love with boss’s girlfriend, he is expelled from his gang, comes close to being killed by the boss, gets back for revenge. But it was a GREAT movie. All thanks to the team who created it – the actors, the writer, the director, the music composer etc. So you don’t need loads of material, you don’t need an original premise, it doesn’t even matter what the source material is or if there is any, in order to create a good movie – it all depends on the team who will work on it. So before doubting again about the Halo movie, wait at least until they start filming.”

    What you describe here is essentially “EBERT’S FIRST LAW”, as if you boil all the specifics and details down, there are essentially only a couple dozen stories in existence.

    Agreed on A BitterSweet Life…Fantastic film, but the directors earlier film is a bonafide MASTERPIECE: “A TALE OF TWO SISTERS”. Perhaps the best instance of J-Horror (even though it is South Korean) out there….

  14. I agree that Halo and Halo 2 are a bit overrated, but I don’t really think your complaints pinpoint the problems with it. No variation in foot-speed? Jumping requires you to press a button? These are things that ruin a game for you?

    There isn’t a huge variety of enemies, but the A.I. is quite challenging and innovative, especially when you play at higher difficulty levels. And the story is actually better than most first person shooters, although you have to watch the cut scenes and you also have to play through to the end to get the most out of it.

    I think the main reason the game is so popular is that it makes you feel powerful and it gives a video game version of a big Hollywood blockbuster action flick. And if that’s not a good indication that it could make a decent movie, I don’t know what is.

  15. ok, the Halo2 single player wasn’tall that great, but the first one was, your assuming that Halo the movie will be Halo2… why?..

    and I agree with everything Richard said.. hes a very wise man :)(except for picking GTA any day, GTA is the most overrated game out)

  16. I agree with what’s been said so far. Your complaints seem to come from the control of Halo 2 and the movie isn’t controllable. The mstory of both Halo games I thought was pretty good and it has the potential for a great sci-fi action movie.

  17. Yeah, I think you’re comparing games across mini-genres. Sure they are both FPS’s, but Halo isn’t in the realm of more expansive games like Heretic. It’s all about the story around you. If you stripped out that during gameplay you’d end up with a quite dull FPS.

    Now Halo 2 just builds on this, but it requires that the audience liked Halo to begin with and followed the story of it, so that the events that happen in cut scenes and the middle twist of the game have an impact on them.

    However, in reality for you to remember those things in the midst of an FPS is a bit sad, surely you should be remembering the action.

    I do for Halo. The Jeeps, the Tanks, and to be fair with Halo 2 the ability to fly the vehicles. What makes this game so big is not the single player, it’s the multiplayer Deathmatch.

    My gaming profile doesn’t quite read like yours, but I was king of various multiplayer games for a long time at our work. Anything from Delta Force to the entire Doom\Quake series. So I’ve got a fair bit under my belt now too.

    Still, I stopped playing Halo 2 at one of the big boss levels (a practice I loathe in gaming, very lazy) and never picked it up since.

    Give me a driving game, or something like Splinter Cell or GTA any day.

    However, let’s go back the the Movie Blog and the first paragraph of the story for a moment and think about this. A movie is not a videogame, you are not sitting controlling and experiencing a series of levels split with movie cut scenes, there is a huge audience to try and capture and they are sitting there expectantly demanding to be entertained. Once they sit down in that cinema the only choice and interaction they can make is to leave or go to the toilet.

    Most of the audience of the videogame are already decided that they want the experience because they bought the equipment to play it and know pretty much what they are buying.

    Not so much with the movie, the majority are entering knowing a two line tagline and a two minute trailer. Some will be coming from the videogame and expecting a similar experience, and some will have researched the movie. However all of them will be expecting the movie to grab them and pull them in.

    There’s a whole different pressure, requirement, audience and form of entertainment. So I don’t think we can say the movie will suck because the game does. They are two fundamentally different genres.

    For the movie they’ll be taking the story aspects of the game, the cut scenes, and making a film based on that and some of the rules the story has created for it’s own Universe. This means association other than actual direct copy.

    So if we think about the actual story that plays out through the cut scenes of the two games, they are actually not bad for a starting block on a movie. Considering that most movies start with a single line, or a single idea.

    Add a decent and proven, if not hugely successful then at least he’s done okay, scriptwriter, a huge creative force with a very clear vision, and I think we might be destined to see the best of the videogame adaptation crop to date.

    Now that might not say a lot, but there’s a potential here for it to be better than “sucks”.

  18. I know this topic is basically about the Halo 2 game, but I just had to say again something about the Halo movie.

    I’ve just seen the Korean movie “A Bittersweet Life”. It basically had a simple, unoriginal, 10 minute story – guy falls in love with boss’s girlfriend, he is expelled from his gang, comes close to being killed by the boss, gets back for revenge. But it was a GREAT movie. All thanks to the team who created it – the actors, the writer, the director, the music composer etc

    So you don’t need loads of material, you don’t need an original premise, it doesn’t even matter what the source material is or if there is any, in order to create a good movie – it all depends on the team who will work on it. So before doubting again about the Halo movie, wait at least until they start filming.

  19. Well, I haven’t played the game, but all the problems you mention seem to be technical gaming issues. I doubt that the game programmers (or whoever creates those aspects of the game) would have any involvement at all in the movie.

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