Jessica Simpson Sucks In Dukes Of Hazzard

Ok, ignore the title of this post for just a moment (we’ll get back to it in just a second). From all accounts Jessica Simpson is a fine young lady. Everything I’ve ever read from those that actually know her paint her as a down to earth, very friendly and likable person. In ALMOST every interview I’ve seen her in she’s carried herself very well and is surprisingly quite well spoken. Personally, I find her to be very beautiful… and mock me if you wish… but I think she’s got a decent singing voice too. All in all… I have to say that I like Jessica Simpson.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way… let’s get back to Jessica Simpson the “actress”.

As I write this, I’m sitting in Nashville were I’ve been visiting for a few days and had the opportunity to see The Dukes of Hazzard a couple of days ago. The film itself is not as bad as I thought it would be and even carried some really good laughs. Kinda fun for a Saturday afternoon matinee if you must go see it. But what I want to talk about it Jessica Simpson’s performance in the film.

WHAT PERFORMANCE?!?! Folks, I can’t emphasize this enough… Jessica Simpson was SHIT (I think that is the first time in 2 years of Movie Blogging that I’ve every typed the word shit) in this movie. And when I say “Shit”, I don’t mean it in some positive new hip lingo kind of way. I mean she SUCKED in this movie. Her “accent” shock all over the place and was pathetic, her lines were delivered so stiff that Viagara could learn a few things from her and her lack of any acting talent whatsoever was so glaringly clear that even in scenes where you could tell the director told her to just “stand there and jiggle your tities” she looked more like she belonged in one of those late night 1-976 sex phone commercials than in a major motion picture.

Jessica Simpson can not act. Period. There was nothing in her performance as Daisy Duke that showed ANY potential or promise.

But keep in mind… none of us can do EVERYTHING well. Hell… I can’t fix cars to save my life. So saying Jessica Simpson can’t act isn’t a knock against her. She does many things well. But for the love of all that is good and holy, please Ms. Simpson just stick with those things. Stay out of movies.

The fact that they gave this role to this talentless non-actress over Jessica Biel is almost enough to make my head explode. Good grief. End of Rant.

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