’s (“Face”) Self Identity Problem and How it Screws Up Wonderful Movies.

A whole lot of amazing things happened the other day: Most of them having to do with sharing a pint with the ‘Shaun of the Dead’ crowd and talking about bad jobs, Alien vs Predator and lame British Opera singers. On the smaller pond of “good things that happened that day” the biggest ripple went to receiving my Special Edition Import of “Hero”. – The movie Mr. Weinstein doesn’t want you to buy. Well, yet anyway.

I have since struggled to watch my special edition DVD and noticed that “Face” – a major – help me out Bubba – Distributor? in Asia have become Idiots of the Highest Order and have completely raped a wonderful movie experience. How did they do it you ask? Oh Simple. By Being Egotistical Pricks. You see, if the Chinese language can’t roll off your tongue like supermodel drool, you’re in for a sphincter tickle. Why? No reason. Because they can. I’m sure being total f**k-nuts has something to do with it as well.

You see, the MORONS at Face have decided that every 5 minutes (give or take a few seconds) of viewing the subtitles, “Face” with slap their brilliant Blue and Red Company Logo in the top corner — And not just flash it there.. but hold it there for a full half minute. CLICK HERE FOR A LARGE SCREENSHOT OF IT. Folks, I’m not bloody kidding — In the middle of the ****ING MOVIE!!!! Then, just as you’ve gotten back into the film and forgotten about the nasty little corporate intruder: “Bing!” there it is again!! — Absolutley Un-[insert expletive]-ing-believable. Who on earth thought up this absolutely destructive and intrusive way of… what… advertising?.. I can’t even call it advertising.. it’s only making me HATE them.

This post serves two reasons.. 1) to make the average Non-Chinese speaking sucker and Hero fan aware of this and 2) Since I so obviously deserve punishment because I can’t speak Chinese, I can’t read their website either – so I had no way of contacting them and reaming them out personally.

For flashing logos on my screen while I’m trying to watch my well paid for DVD, I would certainly stand and admit that next time, I will go out of my WAY to find a bootleg of the movie. Screw you guys. May the flesh eating disease land on the tip of your penis.