Ian Fleming is Rolling in His Grave …

bloom2.jpgOkay, I realize fully that I’m about to simultaneously excite and anger an awful lot of teenage girls and just how dangerous that can be, but onwards into the breach!

Whilst perusing the very bad sequel (?) to Battlestar Galactica on Canada’s Space Channel tonight I witnessed what, to me, was a very disturbing news segment. Apparently the folks who control the James Bond franchise are hot in pursuit of Orlando Bloom to take over the role after Brosnan finishes out his contract. These people are, quite clearly, out of their minds. First there were the ‘Americanization’ rumors and now their looking to cast somebody completely and utterly wrong for the character in the name of chasing a younger demographic. Hello people: you’ll destroy the character in the process, and considering that the most recent Bond film was the highest grossing ever I hardly see why you feel such a pressing need to mess with the character.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Bloom is a very talented actor and I’ve liked him a lot in what I’ve seen him in so far but he is horribly, horribly wrong for the role. First, he is at least a decade too young. Second, I don’t buy him as a cold blooded killer at all. Bond needs to have an edge of menace to be effective and Bloom just doesn’t.

You had it right with your first post-Brosnan choice people: Clive Owen. He was born to play this part. Stop messing around with something that wasn’t broken in the first place.

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17 thoughts on “Ian Fleming is Rolling in His Grave …

  1. I personally, as a Brit, do think Bond should be british. However, if there arent any to choose from then maybe…..or just finish the franchise!

  2. You’d be playing with fire putting an American in it … the Brits would go nuts, and honestly there just aren’t that many Americans who can do accents very well. I’m having a hard time thinking of any who could even attempt it just ’cause Bond is such an inherently British character …

  3. Isaacs also played Lucius Malfoy in Harry Potter and was in the pile of crap The Tuxedo. I dont think he would be “Smooth” enough for the role. I think he is probably more famous in the states than he is in the UK. Bale, im not sure how he would cope with the role. Would he be able to deliver the one liners? Could a none Brit get away with the role. If more Americans could do a Brit accent like Depp in Pirates of the Carribean then I dont see why not. Any names spring to mind?

  4. Jason Isaacs was the brit general in The Patriot and Captain Hook in that Peter Pan movie that no one went to see. He could do it but he just doesn’t have the draw power me thinks. Good actor but he doesn’t have leads on this side of the pond, Dave. The Americans would be a hard sell.
    Okay. I saw it. I saw Peter Pan. And it wasn’t half bad. Got that hot chick from Rushmore. The teacher. You know. She played the mom. Woah mommy!
    Christian Bale? I don’t know. Kind of stiff.

  5. Hmmm … not familiar with Isaacs, but I could see Bale doing it. He’d be a second tier choice in my book, but I think he could probably pull it off … oh, and I read an interview in the TOronto Star a couple days ago where Owen says he’s basically blown the Bond people off. Has no interest in the role … so there goes option number one …

  6. I was gonna say, he could maybe sing the theme tune, it couldnt be any worse than the last effort by Madonna. Both Jason Isaacs & Christian Bale have recently been linked with being Bond, not sure how either of them would fair. Oh well, I do honestly believe that the whole thing will go to the wall once Pierce leaves, because I do not think there is a replacement for him!

  7. If James Bond was required to act like an idiot, drink loads of beer, take loads of drugs, talk with a Northern English accent and swear alot, Robbie would be a great Bond!

  8. Oh, for the love of pearl. Don’t let the fangirls on that Pirates of the Carribean page know this. I am surprised that they aren’t already swamping this page with their pandering.
    David and Bubba make good points. For a second I thought perhaps Jude Law. Then I slapped myself a plethora of times.
    There was a flurry of rumours back in October of last year about him taking the helm and this is what he told the Toronto Star…
    “That’s exactly what they are — rumours!” Owen says. “There has never been anything substantial underneath them. It’s reared up so many times now. I’ll deal with it, I’ll think about it, if it ever becomes a fact.
    And then this…
    James Bond contender Clive Owen has snubbed the legendary franchise – by dismissing it as unchallenging. The British hunk is reported to be a frontrunner to replace departing 007 Pierce Brosnan when he hands over the superspy role after the next film. However, Gosford Park star Owen is nonplussed about the prospect of being the world’s most famous hero – in fact, he doesn’t want the job. According to British tabloid The Daily Express, he told a pal, “I think it’s too formulaic, too tried and tested and a little past it’s sell by date. I would not consider it to be a challenge. I’ve just come back from Los Angeles where I had a meeting with Francis Ford Coppola who wants to cast me in an exciting new project, which will be Bond-like but more challenging and relevant today. I’m really excited about it.”
    Until we know for sure I cannot wait until King Arthur b/c it looks like they’re stalled on the next Bond.

  9. Maybe Hugh Jackman would be a good choice for the bond roll that will be opening up. Giving to Orlando Bloom just makes it weird. Bond is not some kid. If the Bong People are trying to reach a different demographic then that is what they will get. Just young girls and that can’t rack in the money like DAD did. Come on…Orlando Bloom!!!!

  10. See, I don’t care too much for the Moore era Bond precisely because his stunts were so ridiculous. Especially considering the guy was pretty much immobile and completely unbelievable in the fight scenes … I’m not down on the gadgets I just think the tend to go over the line sometimes. Like the invisible car. That was just silly. The remote controlled car, however, was sweet. There’s a line, somewhere, between stuff that’s highly improbable but still believable and stuff that’s just too far over the line and Bond spends so much time trying to get close to that line that it’s inevitable that they cross over it from time to time.

    And yeah, I could see Owen as a villain. For that matter, Sean Beam would also make a good Bond if he hadn’t already been a villain … but you’re right, there’s not a lot else to draw from …

  11. Connery is my first choice, although I think Pierce has a bit of everything, Connery just nicks it because of his on screen presence and timing. As for the gadgets, they are superb, and the stunts are great, I just feel their are too many. Its all about BMW, Nokia, sales. Bond has always had ridiculas stunts (Moore running over the crocodiles) just feel there doesnt need to be as many. Clive Owen would be a good Bond, but I think he would make an even better Bond Villan! I cant think of any more potential bonds, most British actors are either too old or too young, the British Gent is a dying bread!

  12. I’d swap your one and two picks with Connery first and Brosnan second but the fact is no matter how much we might like him to stay on Brosnan is done after the next film. There was even some question whether he’d do the last one …

    And a hearty amen to the over use of the gimmicks in the last couple films … the best Bond moments are the in-camera stunts – things that are wildly improbable but that they’ve got someone actually doing – like the opening sequence in Goldeneye. I just about died when Bond went over the cliff … that’s also why Michelle Yeoh is certainly the best bond girl of the last ten years and quite possibly the best ever.

    McGregor could be an interesting choice … he can have the edge the character needs, but I think he’s got a bit too much of the ‘ah, shucks’ thing happening … go check out Croupier and the BMW promo films online (www.bmwfilms.com) to see why I say it’s got to be Clive … he’ll absolutely rule. He’s got the same sort of physical presence Connery had …

  13. Orlando Bloom is far too young and far too much of a pretty boy to be a Bond! Bond is a British iconic figure and has been for 4 decades! Bloom would be the death of a filming institution that continually thrills the world (although I do agree the last two Bonds have been more effects than story). Brosnan is the best alround Bond their has been. Connery was the smoothest (and my favourite) Moore was the funniest and coolest, Dalton was a bit too serious but was the best actor, Lanzeby was too ugly but again a good actor. A part from his appeal to young ladies would what Bloom bring to the role?! Stick with Brosnan I say!

  14. Well, I don’t know about cold blooded killer, but I’d like to see Ewan McGregor charming the girls as the next Bond. And while we’re on the subject: Enough with the special effects already! Bond needs a dose of reality to become interesting again. Look at The Transporter, that felt more like a Bond-movie to me than the latest attempts from the “Bond people”. A good script is far more important than impossible (and silly) stunts like surfing an arctic tidalwave on a makeshift surfboard!

    Just my two cents.
    /Alexx

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