Bubba Ho-Tep Continues to Amaze

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Okay, LOOK. I’m BLEEDING SICK OF THIS. How come sloppy bung piles can get released to the theatres and no one will give Bubba Ho-Tep a wide, and I mean WIDE, release?!?! WHY?!?! SONNY BLAZES MOTHER F&@^#!$!

So far, at the very popular Rotten Tomatoes critic site, Bubba Ho-tep has recieved a 100% rating!!! ONE HUNDRED!!! SEE??? Those Puckered-Up openings in the tail end of CEO’s suits MUST find that interesting. Sure, there isn’t many reviews, but they are ALL POSITIVE. All of ’em!! Hell, Did Mother Theresa have her critics?? YES… Does Bubba Ho-Tep? Nooooo. Do you need someone to beat this into you? How can you argue with that? “Well, you see, we didn’t release it because, as you can see here in this chart, everybody liked it.” — How much crack can one person USE??? Whatever University that guy went to, I wanna go!! Bleeding morons, running the show sonuva…motherjid[mumble]rdfll;aaw

I’ve got 5 dollars. 5 big smackers to chip into the project, let me send it somewhere… You want people to put up posters? I’ll put up your stupid posters. Want me to bring a friend?? I’ll buy some. Someone who isn’t mentally simple release this movie, PLEASE! This is the last time I ask!!!

Dear Rich People Who Clearly Don’t Know Any Better:
Release this movie. You’ll make even more money.
Love,
Me.

Go to www.bubbahotep.com to find out how you can help.
In case you’re wondering, Bubba Ho-Tep does have a tiny, and I mean TINY release from Vitagraph Films. But I’m talkin’ a slow “one city at a time, in a theatre you’ve never heard of” type release. Sorry, but if the lottery prize was dealt one dollar at a time, the winner would have to kill you.