Okay. Dvd’s. Fascinating, right? So much more than VHS right? Well, don’t get excited…
I think there should be some sort of “standard” as to what a “feature” on a dvd is. Saying a dvd has a feature (even if there’s no real feature at all) gets used more than an aspiring actress who can’t say no.
Whoever the mental fart is that decided these were features needs a shot in the gums:
– Interactive Menus is not a feature. (Interactive Menus…. as opposed to WHAT? those Non-interactive ones? Oh Gee, thanks. Thanks for helping me spend my hard-earned buck via jamming it straight back up my chute.)
– The movie’s format ratio is NOT a feature. (I already bought the bloody movie, it had better be on there already – “Thanks for purchasing our over-priced movie – as a special bonus, you get — The Movie” – Ugh, idiots.)
– Chapter Selection isn’t a feature. (Giving me the option of jumping ahead, when I could technically jump ahead at 32x speed already shouldn’t be considered special. – Sure it’s HANDY, but quit telling me I’m lucky to have it. — If you didn’t include it, your dvd would suck)
Have you ever heard this sentence: “You’re hired, welcome aboard – as a new member of our employment staff, you’ll recieve a very special bonus of washroom breaks, and we’ll even try to cut back on the sexual harrassment” ? Probably not. However, I bet you the people who work at the DVD factory have.
Okay, granted, the picture i was using as an example, was from my dvd of Action Jackson – not a shiny example of cinema, no – actually it’s complete bung (expect for the fung-fu of Craig T. Nelson – wow, my hero) BUT it’s an example that’s repeated far too much. (its “Special Features” were: ‘Interactive Menus’) Anybody have these “empty dvds”? They drive me nuts and haunt my dreams that should normally be filled with various images of ladies and hot tubs full of warm jello.
